Thursday, March 10, 2011

Staying Alive!

Well I played Survive Donkey Island/The Mookie while chatting on BDR with Buddy, Joanne and all their friends.  I laughed so hard and for so long my cheeks hurt.  Luckily, I'm able to laugh at myself.  Sheesh!  For me the highlight of the night was not the game but BDR, so let's start with the game.

29 Peeps with 9 of us playing for our lives.  Make that 8!  Kat didn't show.  I played for over 2 hours and made it to the final table.  Solid nitty poker.  No crazy moves.  I needed to last as long as possible to see if I could snag immunity, but it was not to be.  I made it to the final table, blinds were big and I jammed with Ace Jack.  Yes, I fucking KNOW Miami Don said not to overplay AJ, but I thought I'd just swipe the blinds.  I lost half my stack with that fucker and I'll NEVER play it again.  I had about 12K and shipped about 6K to HeffMike who called with a donkey hand (A-A).  Then I lost when I jammed with 6-6.  Fuck!  At that point I was enjoying myself with a little wine, a little this, a little that, which is the perfect recipe to lose.  I went out 9th.

Miami Don kept telling me to get on his blogger chick list.  "Okay, sure!" I answer, not really knowing what he meant.  Guess what I had to do to get on the list? OMFG.  I had to yell and they recorded "Very Josie fucks Miami Don HARD. Blogger chicks rule!!!"  I'm immortalized now!  And believe me, that was tame compared to what CK said to get on the list.  Frigging hilarious!

Buddy, Jo and all the guys were a blast.  They have this thing called Poetry Corner. Gary sent in this little ditty:

It ain't about stardom, it ain't about fame

It's getting publicity attached to your name
which blogger to sleep with, which blogger will blow you
which blogger is best for a nice rack to show you
Our friend very josie will tell you a lot
About which of her minions she thinks might be hot
but I know a secret that none of you can
The girl known as josie is really A MAN!

Not to be outdone by Gary, NumbBono decided to recite a poem just for lil ole me.  It went something like this:

Oompa (pause)
Loompa (pause)
Doom-pa-dee-do (I blame YOU Waffles!)

People LOVE to torture me.  That "man" theme followed me all night long.  EVERYONE called me Joe C. or Joe C. Bitch or Joe C. Luckbox or Joe C. Very.  Speaking of which, I did use my luckbox powers to take out Brain with my A8 against his AK.  Can you imagine him jamming with that crap. :)  I hit my 8 on the flop baby!
Anyway, turns out I'm not the first Joe C.  Someone realizes that KidRock had a midget side kick called Joe C.  The guy has my name (Joe C.) my name and he's uber short - that's like effing karma or something.  Then all of a sudden they PLAY Joe C. rapping on BDR.  OMG tooo fucking funny.  I suggest you find it on youtube.  I'm too damn tired to find it for you, but below are the lyrics. Buddy Dank played about....oh........8 times!
I'm Joe C bitch

Let me get them digits
I might be a little small hoe
But I aint no God damn midget
So stick it up your ass where the sun dont shine

I'm verticly challenged, your verticly blind
I'm 3 foot 9. it's 10 foot long
I'm gonna smack that ass after I pack this bong
I can flow on like all night long
Till the break of dawn
Till the early morn
I'm a thorn in your side
Can you feel me stickin
80 pills a day bitch, I aint bullshittin
So groove baby groove baby call your momma
I'm like Charlie Hooker girl
I got the boogie drama
With the boogie drama

It's like the song was made for me!  Isn't that weird?  Don IMs me that the name is mine now and I'm stuck with Joe C.  FUUUUUUUUCK.  But I'm a girl!  No one believes me.:(  lol
Oh did I mention KAT got voted off? Team Fish was untouched.  That's huge in my book.  We have 8 players left on the island.  4 are from the Team Fish tribe and 4 from the Team Dinkey tribe. (no that's not a typo)  Even Steven!  That's a huge accomplishment considering where we've come from. Not too long ago it was 7-4Donks leading. I thought Team Donk had this sewn up but any given Sunday or Wednesday.
So it's down to me and 7 guys.  Damn I want this scenario on a real island.  HeffMike fanning me with palm branches, Muhctim rubbing SPF2 on my back.  (I like to tan)  Turtle could catch me dinner with Boat cooking it.  Really guys, is that too much to ask?
Sunday night the game resumes.  8 Peeps, 4 fish, 4 donks and ultimately one winner.
"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.'"- The Princess Bride

Good advice for the 7 guys left on Donkey Island.

Play smart.



lightning36 said...

Joe C was fantastic. God rest his soul ...

Bayne_S said...

no one used Jo C?


KenP said...

I'll NEVER play it again

woo,ha,cheez, oooh, waha, uhhhh.

Stop! My heart won't take it.

Josie said...

Nope! btw I wrote a poem for BDR and you got a mention! I thought it was too raunchy to post, but when did that stop me before?

BrainMc said...

Crazy AK jam indeed. Why am I such a Donk? What crazy spell have you guys put on the rest of Team Donkey? I can see the writing on the wall so obviously it won't be hard to sway me.

Josie said...

Brain baby! It's time to cast my spell on YOU.

Bayne_S said...

I forgot, how long after Vizzini said "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! did he live???

Josie said...

Bayne, that's not the point. Now go take a pic of your feet.

Gary said...

Bayne, it was enough for him to laugh three times - ha ha! ha ha! ha ha! - DEAD.

Love that flick, BTW. Perfect for a sentimental old asshole like me. "This is true love - you think this happens every day?"