Friday, December 31, 2010

PLO when you don't know how to play

Okay, so I ventured into the land of PLO heads up, with a few key rules that I followed.  I am not posting the rules here, as I don't want to give Drizz any help with his PLO game.  :)

Anyway, I played 3 games and won 2 of them!  Yay!  Not alot of winnings as they were a $2 game and a $5 game.

Synergy baby!

Almost synergy?  I really liked the flop.  :)

PLO is fun!

Play smart.


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Word of the Day

Today's word of the day is........


•The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.
•Cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect.

I like this word. 

Someone who knows things, told me that I could play PLO heads up against Drizz (even without skill) so long as I kept synergy of my hand in mind.  I got a few other tips too.  :) So Dizzy Drizzy, lemme try this against a random donk, and if it works, I will give it a chance against you.

Play smart with SYNERGY.


John Mellencamp's got nothing on me!

Sung to the tune of Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp

Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of poker is gone
Say Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of poker is gone

Little Ditty 'bout Josie and Heffman
2 American kids living in blogger land
Heffy's gonna be a poker star
Josie's debutante in Vegas didn't go far

Heffy sits back collects his thoughts for the moment
Scratches his head and then he shoves all in
Well you know Josie, she's gonna call here
Josie says "Baby, you ain't gonna win."

Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of poker is gone
Say Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of poker is gone

Gonna let it rock, let it roll
Let the donkeys come and steal my steal my soul
Hold onto aces as long as you can
Suffering those bad beats makes us women and men.

Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of poker is gone
Say Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of poker is gone

A little ditty bout Heffmike and me
Playing Heads Up is awesome, you see.

Tonight I took on HeffMike UPDATED

I will break U Heff - Just not tonight.

Tonight was my Heads Up Challenge with Heff Mike.  We hooked up about 9pm and the plan was for me to join a game and he'd follow.  Well as soon as I joined a game, someone else named Claudia did too.  So I had to play him/her first.  Luckily she sucked.  I kept raising and she kept folding, and 10 minutes into it I had my first win under my belt.  Onto Heff Mike!

Heff Mike has a great (and factual recap) on his post which I just stole and copied below.  Please enjoy!

Cliffs: Very Josie HU challenge ends up 2-2. Best results for a challenger so far, sounds good to me.
Game 1 - back and forth for about 50 hands, I limp KQo at 20/40 down a bit, we see a 987 all spade flop, I have the Ks, and I check/call a pot bet. Turn's a blank, I check/shove into Josie's T6s, no spade - only the flopped second nut straight. I do not get there on the river. Down 0-1.
Game 2 - much quicker, four hands in, I raise AA to 2.5xBB, Josie 3x's that, I flat. Flop comes J77, she checks, I lead, she raises, I wonder, for realz? - and go ahead and shove. Josie calls with AJs, and I hold. Three hands later I manage to get her last 40 chips and even things up.

Game 3 - another quick one, Josie raises her button, I repop with ATo, she calls. Flop 987 with two spades, I check and it checks through. Turn 5c, I check, Josie pots it, and I make an ill-advised jam... right into Ts8s for the flopped straight flush draw with middle pair. I whiff the river again. Down 1-2..
Game 4 - This was the marathon - over 120 hands.. early on I raise JJ and Josie jams, I decide to flip and hold vs. AQo - so I've got her down to 180 chips and this should be OVAR, right...?
Well, I decide to be careful and not double her up too easily - eventually I minraise AKo, get her to shove A3o for 12BB and get fourflushed on the river - and after that, I get into the worst carddead stretch ever. I don't even hold bluffcatchers, I can't make a hand, and she starts climbing back... first to even, and then I'm down 3-1.
To be honest, I'm not sure what I could have done about it. Put it this way, I was fairly sure I was getting outplayed and outflopped. But, maybe I'm starting to learn some patience and not force the issue when things aren't going my way. I waited, waited, and finally got it in good preflop with TT vs. A4s and 77 vs. A8o and held both times to finally even things up at 2-2.
Since things were running so long (it took an hour to play 4 matches) we left things at that, dead even - which is probably for the best... I felt very evenly matched. I didn't even mind losing the two games the way I did, b/c I probably would have tried to get it in on the flop if I was playing more aggressively anyway.
I did change up how I usually play HU, and I noticed Josie changing gears at times as well. Mad, silly credit to her for cockroaching in the last game from T180 to a 3-1 lead. I wouldn't mind doing it again to break the tie - but to be honest, we both should probably be playing other people HU a lot more than each other.

My version (without the facts)
Nothing too exciting to report.  I won the first game, but it was quite a battle.  2nd game I lost fairly quickly when I flopped Jxx and was holding ace jack.  Unfortunately Heff was holding AA and it was gg josie.  Then after another good battle I won the 3rd game so I was  up a game....and we started the 4th game.

It lasted for almost an hour and for about 10 minutes into the Mookie.  I was down to about 160 chips and scratched and clawed my way back to over 2k.  I really wanted the win and played good heads up poker till I made one donkey move.  Calling his all in with A-4.  Why?  Truly I do not know, but I doubled him up and it brought me down to about 500 chips and I just kinda gave up.  Blah.

So we have 2 wins each, but I really felt like Heff didn't win that so much as I lost it.  Blah.  He played well but I played better.  Honest to God.  Even steven kinds sucks when your up in the beginning, and doesn't truly depict the awesomeness of my play BUT, if he isn't too scared, I'd like a rematch.  Any time. 

And Heff was right - I did keep changing up my play but it wasn't quite enough to beat him. The other thing I did was trash talk ALOT, but it didn't phase him.  Cool as a cucumber.  Now remember guys, when I trash talk during a game, I really don't mean it.  :)

So who's up next in the Heads Up Challenge Queue?  Well XKM is a guy who gave me most of his chips tonight during the mookie and we were chatting about a little heads up match.  Well X?  Whaddaya think?

If there is anyone else with any balls and poker skills (I find that combo to be extremely rare in men) just leave me a comment. You can try your luck (you're going to need it) against Very Josie.

But before you start commenting here is the history:

Lightning - kicked his ass
Waffles - kicked his little ass
Claudia - kicked her/his ass
HeffMike - 2 for 2 (I cannot wait to change this status to an ass kicking)

So really no one has beaten me yet.  Can you?  Or will you be another name added to my list?

On the Mookie front.  SUCK

I was playing awesomely and hurt XKM when I flopped the nut flush, while he flopped the Q high flush.  Not pretty.  Anyway i kept adding to my stack and became the chip leader at the final table.  Down to 7 and Jordan raises my blind.  I have A-9 (yes, ace rag, I KNOW) and call.  The flop is A-9-4 rainbow.  Bet, raise, reraise all in, instacall.  Jordan turns over A-A.  Fuck me.  I was talking to the laptop saying "He has trips" but damn I didn't think he had trip aces!

Frigging Jordan.  He doesn't even have me on his blog roll.  :P  Reminds me of a little story.  Do you have a minute?

When I started blogging (so fresh faced and innocent) I had a bit of a run in with Jordan.  :) It all worked out in the end and I asked him to put me on his blog roll.  He sent me a very nice email explaining that he doesn't put just anyone on his blog roll (I am paraphrasing) so he couldn't now but would revisit the decision in a few months.


Fast forward to about a month ago.  Jordan sends me an email saying (and I am paraphrasing) that he's opening his blog roll to a wider range of people, like letting more in and was thinking of me specifically - did I want to link swap now?

I dunno why, but that bothered me.  Never gave him a real yes or no.  It seemed like my blog didn't cut the mustard then.  I suppose I shouldn't have let my ego get in the way, yet I did.


Play smart.


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Thoughts on Work

Work. It's what I do.  I enjoy it to a certain extent but I certainly don't have the most exciting job.  I do the same thing month after month, year after year and take very little time off.  Repeat.

Except I took a week off this December for the WPBT and more recently had 5 days off in a row for the Christmas holiday.  Very unusual for me.  And it's not like I missed work while I was home/away.  Far from it.  I was reveling in the fact that I didn't have to get up quite so early, my time was my own, but the most curious thing happened when I got back to work this week.

I settled into doing some mundane tasks; things that usually bore the crap out of me, yet they were oddly comforting.  Ahhh back to my old routine.  Have coffee, do this, that, the other, solve a few problems, have lunch. More work, more coffee, help some colleagues out, then home.

I don't know why it feels so "right" to be in work.  Perhaps because I do my job well and I am appreciated.  But maybe it's because I'm a creature of habit and my routine allows me to be on autopilot, while getting alot done.  Sense of accomplishment, sense of appreciation plus they pay me.

It makes me think I'd be a wonderful prisoner.  Is my little office akin to a prison cell?  Maybe.  Do I do the same goddam thing at the same goddam time every day?  Definitely.  Yeah, I think I could do some incarceration time with ease.  Give me my routine, a little solitude, and a stack of books and I think I'd be good for about 6 months.  :)

Well maybe not.  I hear you can't get manicures in prison.  Talk about punishment!

Gotta's time for my afternoon coffee.  :)

Play smart.


Snow, a Ho and a Show

Snow Storm in Gloucester MA

The lovely photo above was taken by one of the architects I work with.  He designed and lives in that beautiful house, which is right on the ocean's edge.  And the house is even cooler inside.  It's is a susstainable zero energy house.  That means it doesn't use any energy from fossil fuels and the like.  Solar powered baby!

Also Gloucester 12/27/10 (Snow)

So I showed you the snow.  Natch, I am the Ho, and now for the show..............

Tonight at 9pm ET on Full Tilt Poker.......It's my Heads Up Challenge against HeffMike!  It's going to be AWESOME.  Let's do a little recap on the HU challenges, shall we?

First, Lightning was up.  Two matches and he was down for the count.  Kicked his ass in record time, then we went on to chat for an hour or so.

Second, Waffles.  Aloooooot of matches and they were all a struggle, but in the end I prevailed and got me some Waffles money.  Let's just say the chat was not as nice as Lightning's.

Tonight it's Heff.  He's a decent player but I'm on a roll baby!  Besides I played Heffy heads up once before - may have been the mookie or the very josie (best private tourney on full tilt.  come and play!)  Anyway, he was tough during the MTT but heads up, it was ALL me.  I went from shortstacked to winnah in about 5 hands.  At least that's the way I remember it.  :)

Come watch the carnage on full tilt and cheer me onto victory.  Just look for veryjosie on fulltilt.

In other news - football.  I lost last week but picked up points.  Next week is the last week of the regular season so whoever is in first after next week gets the grand prize.  It's been me for the last 3 years - hopefully soon to be 4 years.

This is the email the football commish sent out:

so, the down-to-the-wire finish for first place overall standing comes down to josie and ed ... we'll see if ed can close the 10pt gap in week 17, or if josie can add on more to win bragging rights until next season with a bigger bang!!! thanks to everyone for an exciting online season...

I already have the lead by 10 points.  All I have to do is not mess up.  My usual MO is to do something extra special, which makes me lose, so I'm just gonna do the same ole same ole with my picks and hope for the best.

Heff, I hope you have lots of money to lose!

Play smart.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Baby, it's cold outside

It's warm inside though.  :)

Below are my picks - you can click on it if you actually want to read it, but the bottom line is I am in 4th place for the week at the moment.  However, if my picks for the next two games win, I will win for the week again.  I need Atlanta to beat New Orleans and Philly to beat Minnesota.  That's not asking too much, is it? If that happens I will win for the week, by ONE POINT.  Football is truly  game of inches.

Goooo Philly!

I am sweating 2 games instead of one, because the Sunday Night Football game was called off due to weather. 

Regardless of the outcome of the next 2 games this was a very good week for me, as I am no longer tied for 1st for the year.  I am now ahead of 2nd place by 14 points and I think that number will only increase when these games are done.

I feel kinda bad about my Waffles post.  It didn't really reflect the actual play that took place.   After I won the first game Waffles won best of 3 a few times in a row and just kept on playing until I was up.  And most matches lasted a loooooooooooong time.

The hat trick for Very Josie's heads up challenge will be against HeffMike Wednesday night at 9pm sharp.  It's also poker night at my house so I will be playing both simultaneously.  I remember playing heads up against Heff once before and the results were good.  :)

I think Miami Don challenged me to a little heads up as well, dontcha think?

Miami Don:  "When you get done with all the riff-raff you just let me know."

But do I wanna risk my money against the winner of WPBT 2010?  I'm thinking yes!  It's not like he plays heads up alot and I've been getting a ton of play HU.  Yeah, once I teach Heffy a thing or two it's onto the WPBT champ.

Play smart.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Another one bites the dust

Guess what happened!

The Waffles heads up challenge was a success - except of course for Waffles.  I took a bunch of screenshots but I'm too lazy to use them.  How bout I give you a quick recap.

Game one - I win very quickly.

Game 2, waffles wins very quickly.

That's pretty much how it went for quite a while.  About mid way through he was up a game, then good playing over came luck and I won, then I won again, then I won again!

I ended up with a bunch of Waffles money.  He bluffs way more often than he should and really sucks at poker but  I'll give him this.  He was up a bunch of games and kept on playing till I was up.


Gotta love ace rag

River suck out - this happened more than once

I thought my straight was good.  Boo!


Fave hand baby.  Believe it or not, Waffles CALLED my all in with that crap. 

Now if you read Waffles post I am sure there will be whining and reason afer reason why he lost his money to a girl.  Bottom line I played better and won more.  All the rest is just fodder.  I know it, you know it and he knows it, but I suppose he has to say SOMETHING, right?

Next victim opponent is Heffmike.  Heffy, Lightning has donated, Waffles has donated too, although it took a bit longer and was much more aggravating.  You will be the hat trick.

So Heff....Play smart.  (unlike Lightning and Waffles)


Glutton for punishment

4 hrs till heads up match and I just opened a bottle of pino grigio.  Ut oh!  Gotta go refill my glass. :)


TONIGHT 8pm Sharp on Full Tilt

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner

Tonight at 8pm is the Heads Up challenge.  Now once Waffles loses there will be lots of excuses, like he was tired, the au pair was distracting him, whatever.  Bottom line, Waffles is gonna get a lesson he won't soon forget and I will get some yummy Full Tilt dollars.

Everyone's a winner!

I am AWESOME heads up so Waffles doesn't have a chance.  I mix up my play and mix up my opponent, which is not hard to do, considering tonight's opponent.  :)  Please feel free to stop by and watch the carnage.  Just look for me: veryjosie


I am still fuming at the fact that THERE ARE HOOKERS in Grand Theft Auto.  WTF.  Stealing cars and violence isn't enough.  Gratuitous sex scenes too?  Frigging society!  I don't know why the kid just can't play Animal Crossing.  That's my favorite game!

Play smart. (Not you Wawfuls!)


Saturday, December 25, 2010

And to all, a good night

Happy Holidays!

I just woke up from a 2 hour coma nap.  I hope your holiday was filled with love and presents.  Speaking of presents, behold the modified controller!

Yes, it lights up.

The new controller is the only present Evan took a picture of, but he also got a microscope, Grand Theft Auto, Northface Jacket, Criss Angel magice set, one of those hoodies with earbuds in the hood, Myth Busters Air Pressure thingy, and God knows what else.  What he didn't get was the game Mafia Wars because there is NUDITY in the video game.  Hell, I could just buy him a Playboy Magazine and save about $40.  And if you think like Evan, NO, there's no way he's getting a Playboy Magazine either. :P

Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive. ~Robert Lynd

Here are some more random Christmas photos:

Made by Josie - double chocolate butter cookies

I made the cupcakes too.

My sister doesn't bake so she bought these.

At Nana's house on Christmas Eve

I made these for the office.  
Most were gone before I thought to take a picture.

Speaking of the office....check out the photo below.
Moe and Jim - the owners of the firm

Moe is on the left and he is Jewish, and Jim is on the right (yep catholic).  Anyway, as a joke, one of the architects gave this board to Moe.  Actual gift was about 3ft x 4ft.  Obv Moe wouldn't be caught dead in a reindeer sweater (thank you photoshop) but he got a good laugh about and went home with a back ache. He had pulled something earlier that morning and was in alot of pain.

He's 78 yrs old and works about 55 hrs a week because he absolutely loves what he does.  The fact that Very Josie is in his office is just an added bonus.  Anyway, he's one of those scholarly gentlemen (harvard educated) from years gone by.  He is elegance personified, but swears like a sailor - my kind of guy.

So he says he's going home because he doesn't feel well and is gonna lie flat - the only way to be out of pain.  Meanwhile the marketing project development department is having a meeting about our holiday greeting card, and guess what?  Their pitch is we should use the reindeer sweater photo.  It's funny and would definitely be remembered by our clients.  Jim is on board but calls Moe to let him know of the decision.

Now keep in mind the firm is divided by what they call "the bookends".  Moe is in charge of the financial book end (of which I am a major part) and Jim is in charge of marketing project development bookend. (of which I have NO part)

So anyway, Jim calls him and says "Since I'm in charge of marketing I made the decision to use the reindeer sweater image and emailed it to clients, colleagues etc."  (He hadn't at this point but wanted to gauge Moe's reaction.)

Moe freaked out.

He hung up the phone, got out of bed, hobbled into work, limped into Jim's office and screamed "I AM NOT A JOKE and yet you sent this out so that I could be the brunt of your joke?"

It was a baaaad scene.  This was when Jim said "I was kidding.  We didn't send it out yet, but can we?"

Let's just say the image on the holiday card was that of a building.  The Dover Sherborn Middle School to be exact.

Poor Moe.

Roses are reddish. Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas, We'd all be Jewish.
~Benny Hill

Merry Christmas!


PS - for a Jewish guy Moe really knows how to do Christmas.  He makes sure he thinks of EVERYONE during the holiday season and I mean EVERYONE.  Yes he gives tax free money holiday gifts to his staff (yay me!)  But what else does he do?  He makes large donations to food pantrys, children's causes and his newest cause this year is K.I.N.D.  Kids in need of desks.  A charity that provides desks for kids in Malawi. (according to Moe, NOTHING is more important than education)  And just to be sure he misses NO ONE.  He gets 3K worth of hundred dollar bills and passes them out.  To the office cleaners, the building guys, the lady who gives him coffee, the guys who make his lunch, EVERYONE he has any encounter with.  He's a regular ole St. Nick.


Friday, December 24, 2010

Faster Than Lightning

I have tamed Lightning

For starters, did you read Lightning's WPBT recap?  If I didn't know better I would've thought we slept together! I wasn't that drunk, was I?  Must be another one of those "I slept with a blogger" teasers.  Although he did keep waking me up.  Nobody fucking sleeps in Vegas!

Soooooooooo how do I put this nicely?

Lightning and I had our heads up battle last night.  Actually we had TWO and I was poetry in motion baby.  I spanked him and taught him a lesson twice in a row.  Two for two baby!

I didn't take any screen shots of the first one.  Forgive me, but it was over before I knew it.  :)  I won like 3 or 4 hands in a row and boom.  I don't want to give out too many details yet about my heads up play, as there is one more DONKEY waiting to donate to the Josie's Full Tilt account.

So before you can say "Lightning sucks" game one was over and he accepted the rematch!  Yay!  I decided that this time I would take some screen shots.  Please to enjoy!

Now he told me that he jammed all in with the hammer, and I do remember folding to an all in when the board had a measley deuce on it.  Jeez, sometimes winning is toooooo easy.

Here is the first hand that hurt him badly.  Flopped 2 pair and Mr. Sux at poker called me with bottom pair.  Then he caught his smaller two pair on the turn, which got him into a whole heap of trouble.

So he was short stacked.  I raised with 10-10 and he jammed all in preflop with A-J.  Caught his jack on the flop and doubled up.  All that did was make the fun go on a little longer.  :)

We were playing along for a while and then I caught, wait for it....A-A!

The best part is, he caught AK while I had AA!

Of course I didn't KNOW he had AK and I really wanted to play this hand so my preflop raise was small.  Previously, I had been betting hard with premium hands and Lightbulb folded quite a bit.

Anyway, flop is q high and I check.  :)  Flop is a blah 9, I bet and he jams all in!  LOLLLLLLLLL  I instacall and won 2 in a row against my boy Lightning.  gg!!!!

It was awesome.  Poor guy didn't know what hit him. 

I think Mr. 94th is going to be even easier.  Mama wants MORE free money.

I appreciate the donation!

Play smart - or  better yet, play like you usually do, when you are playing HU with me.


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Week 16 Picks

Gooooo Steelers! (um this is not clothing)

Week 16 is a critical week for me, as I am tied for first place and have what...only 2 more weeks in the regular season, right?

My big 16 pick is on the Steelers TONIGHT.  Almost put the 16 on Tom Terrific and The Pats but The Steelers will pull this off for me (as will The Pats).

Below are my picks and they're Gold! I mean they're in BOLD. :)

Carolina @ Pittsburgh 16 My biggest pick for tonight.
Dallas @ Arizona 5 Don't like Dallas hence the small number but Ari sux more
Baltimore @ Cleveland 10 Baltimore rocks
San Fran @ St. Louis 4 Meh
New Eng @ Buffalo 14 LOVE LOVE LOVE
Washington @ Jacksonville 8
Detroit @ Miami 9 They're better pull this off
NYJ @ Chicago 2 My new fave team.  :)
Tennessee @ KC 11 Respectable
Indy @ Oakland 7 They've been winning for me
Houston @ Denver 1 I frigging hate Denver - they suck.
San Diego @ Cinncinati 13 Cinncy's been having a shitty year and Kendra likes SD!
NY Giants @ Green Bay 6 Giants suck ass, as does Manning
Seattle @ Tampa Bay 12 Going with the fave
Minn @ Philly 15 Favre and The Vikings suck.  Someone tell him he's done.
NO @ Atlanta 3 coin flip

11 things I can do without in 2011

Never Very rarely do I link a blog of a person I really don't know, but there is something beautiful about this blog, which happens to be called SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.  The photographs are beautiful, as is the prose, but that's not why it's being featured here.

One post is called 11 Things.  More specifically, 11 things that I can do without in 2011.  Such an intriguing thought for me that had me wondering all morning, "What 11 things can I do without in the new year?"  My mind has wandered a gamit of different types of things I really could do without.  So in no particular order....

1.  Many pairs of my earrings.  I cannot go into a store without coming out with a new pair.  Solid gold, real diamonds or cheap shit, I want them all.  I could easily give up 11 pairs and still have many many more in the rotation.

2.  Single earrings that have lost their mate.  Poor, poor earrings with no mate.  They clutter up my jewelry boxes and bins, yet they are too pretty to toss out.

3.  Half of my poker books.  I probably own about 10 and I'd say at most 5 of them have any real value.  The ones I'd toss are mostly gifts and not worth the paper they were printed on.

4. People that disappoint me.  I find most people fit into 2 categories; those that amaze me and those that disappoint me.  I sometimes wonder which category I'd put myself in, and although I fear it may be the latter, it is time to dump the disappointments.  It gets tough when the same person oscillates between both categories.

5. Crap my sister has given my son.  This would include a broken clock made from a section of tree trunk. (yes it was broken when she gave it to him) and old key chains, credit cards and all sorts of cheap plastic toys that litter my house.  She likes to bring him "something" when she sees him.  12 years of "something" certainly adds up.

6.  Candy.  Sugar Bear doesn't have a big sweet tooth.  Someone (like my sister) will give him candy, or he'll buy it, then he'll have a piece, maybe 2 and it'll sit there.  "DO NOT throw that out."  he'll say if he catches me in the act, so we keep it a sufficient amount of time, so that I can say "It's too old to eat" and then we toss it.  Right now I still have halloween candy waiting to be old enough to get tossed.

7.  Old Christmas presents from my mother.  These include a big furry bathrobe covered in teddy bears that I've never worn and a punch bowl set (yes a fucking punch bowl set) that I've never used.  She tried to get me a snuggie 2 years ago, but she called in the order and it got messed up.  Karma baby.

8.  Something I'd LOVE to get rid of but can't afford to replace is my bed - hard, lumpy and squeaky.  Believe it or not, the bed at the IP was a huge luxury for me.  Sad, right?

9.  Dust.  I really need to dust more but I don't.

10.  Books - not all of them, or even the majority, but I have too many.  Stacked everywhere.  Filling the basement, the hall, my bedroom.  If one is the perfect read for someone I know I'll happily give it away, but that is few and far between so it seems they are taking over.  It reminds me of when I moved into my first house and had a dishwasher for the first time.  I ran out of the proper detergent and decided to use Palmolive instead and then I walked away.  When I returned there were suds knee deep everywhere.  Like that, pretty soon the books are going to take over.  I don't use the library even though I should.  For me there is nothing better than perusing a book store, treating myself to a good read and falling right into the book.

11.  Sadness - Sometimes I get sad.  And since I can't think of anything else literal to toss it would be lovely to toss sadness out on its ass.



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Josie's Potpourri*

Thanks to The Bears, a check is on it's way to me.  See email below from football commissioner:


just let me know how you'd like me to get you the loot...
i was thinking singles scattered along I-93
if you send me your mailing address, i can punch in an electronic check that should reach you 6-7 days after i enter it ... (same way adam got his winnings)
just let me know ... and remember other options include I-93, 128, Boston Harbor, Comm Ave, etc ...

In case you are unfamiliar with the Boston area, all the locations he mentioned are particularly windy and not the best place to be collecting many singles.  :)  Bastard.  Of course, in his defense, I've been bragging and trash talking for coming on 4 years.  Since I am tied for first place for the year, this may be the year someone takes away my reign.  NO FUCKING WAY.  I've been spending about 5 minutes (or less) on my picks lately and that has to change.  Just for the bragging alone.....and the grand prize too. :)  This means I need Hoyazo to post his picks at least 2 hours before the first game.  Please!!!!!!  I think checking my picks against Hoy's can give me a bit of an edge on those coin flip type of games.

Let's see....what else?  Last Friday was the office holiday party, which I ended up coordinating.  I went out on a limb by using a new caterer, and everyone loved the food.  Below is the menu:

Lamb Lollipops with sweet pepper jam
Glazed cedar plank salmon with lemon herb sauce
chicken roulade with spinach, chevre, red pepper and creamy herb sauce
eggplant with veggie and breadcrumb stuffing
roasted fall vegetables
Apple cider salad with mesculin, apples, toasted walnuts, stilton and cider vinagrette (frigging delish)
rustic country rolls
apple cheese cake
gingerbread cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

and (30) bottles of very expensive french champagne.  For the life of me I cannot remember the name of it....but I just checked the recycle bin!  It was Perrier Jout.  Ooo la la!

When 30 professionals get drunk, the big story certainly isn't the menu.  We all started drinking at 1pm and went to the bar afterwards.  What a hot mess!  I'll get into details in my next post as I am in work at the moment.

Lastly, poker.  I am looking to double my Full Tilt balance.  How you ask?  By challenging you to a heads up NLHE game.  If anyone is interested in going heads up with Very Josie for $10+1 drop me a comment.  First 3 people get a chance to get reamed by none other than me.  And then I'll embellish about your loss on this here blog.  :)  Just kidding.....well maybe not.

Play smart.


*OMFG I actually had to google "potpourri" to learn the correct spelling of it.  This is the same girl who won the 9th grade spelling bee!  wtf!  I am getting old.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Football and Porn Stars

Da Bears ROCK (clicky on the picky for legibility)

Not that I want to count my chickens before they hatch, but it's the 4th Quarter and The Bears are beating the Vikings 40-14. (Put a fork in Favre, he's done)  So far, so good.  If the Bears win, I get a check for $70 plus I am back to first place for the year end grand prize.  Technically when the bears win, I'll be tied with Ed for first place, but same difference!  I own this league!!!  :)

Update:  I winned!  When Minnesota came out with guns blazing and scored first I was a wee bit worried.  But alas, that was for nothing!  Da Bears kicked ass and took names.  I am now officially a Bears fan.  Mama likie!

Damn, just watching this game is making me colder than I already am!  In Boston it's about 25 degrees and still snowing lightly.  Came home in a miserably slow commute and still haven't fully warmed up even though I am in a flannel shirt and slipper socks with a nice warm blankie on my lap.  Hands are cold, as is my nose, but I have a feeling those football players are a wee bit colder than I am. Brrr.

I know what'll warm me up!  Male Porn Stars!  Let's take a look at this Motley Crue!

Porn Star Names
Very Josie = Sheba Monroe
Hoyazo = Tiger Eaglebrook
Lightning = Frisky Inverness (I bet you're Frisky!)
Bayne = Bayne
Gary = Mamie Monson
Pokah Dave = Lucky ShadyHill (Hmmm lucky and shady)
Wolfie = Prince Elric Wood
Grange = Rascal Tower (if that's not a porn name, I dunno what is)
Acornman = Kim Highfield (transvestite?)
Bammer = Muffin Service (best name EVAR)
Miami Don = P.D. Woodpath (follow the path to the wood??)
The Wife = Queenie Starks
Neo = Blitz Dean
JT88* = Pierre Townsend (for those who prefer a classy porn star)
Waffles = Charlie Egg Mount lollllllllllll

You guys rock! I was having a boring day....trying to get labor projections from project managers...scheduling review meetings with the owner and said managers so we can monitor costs carefully and meet the projected multiples.  Hmmm what else did I do today?  Reclass our amex bill, review some contracts...*yawn*  but every once in a while, I'd check my blog and BOOM, there'd be a name like  "Rascal Tower", "Muffin Service" or "Prince WOOD".  Frigging cracked me up.  And what was waiting for me, when I got home from the nasty, snowy commute?  None other than "PD WOODPath". lolllll

Kinda reminds me of the first time I saw a penis....LIVE as in, in person.  Please forgive me if I've already written about this as I cannot recall if I have or not.  (sad, huh?)  Anyway, I was 18 yrs old and pure of body. (I doubt I was ever pure of mind)  Anyway, there is this strip joint in Massachusetts called The Golden Banana.  Awesome name, right?  Anyway, it was a regular female strip club, despite what the name would lead you to assume, but Sunday night was Ladies night and they had male strippers.  My sister (5 yrs older and not nearly as pure) was going with a bunch of her girlfriends and talked me into going with them.  I had a fake ID that looked NOTHING like me, but I got in. 

Now I knew these guys were going to strip, but I assumed they left their undies on.  Not so!  More and more clothes came off, until the g-strings were yanked off too.  The size shocked me, but more than that, they'd swing those schlongs like they were jumping rope!  I shiat you not!  But the weirdest thing was that they all seemed to have their penises tied to their other equipment as they shook them round and round.  And even though they were reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallly long, none of them were erect.

Very weird.  Plus some of the women were going frigging crazy!  It was a little scary.  All these women screaming at the top of their lungs at these guys.  Ugh.  I remember one stripper taking quite an interest in both me and my cousin Maria (both under 21). We were horrified and he was like, "Then why are you here?"  LOL 

Hmmm that being said, I just found The Golden Banana LINK for this post.  I wonder if Sunday night is still Ladies night.  :)  Only kidding!  If I really want to see a show, I'll just wave a few dollar bills at Lucky Shadyhill.  He's local!

Play smart.


*P.S.  JT88, your name intrigues me.  In case you didn't already know, JT is my fave hand in NLHE.  When pocket 8s are added does it become a fave omaha hand?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Lightning, I take back everything....And Porn Stars UPDATED

....that I said about The Chicago Bears last Sunday.  The Pats smoked them I rubbed it in your face.  But here's the thing....If The Bears win tonight, I win for the week in my Pick The Winners league.  First place baby, all riding on The Bears.

They can do it, can't they?

I was reading Linda Lou's post about What's your Porn Star name?  and it gave me a chuckle.  To figure out what your porn star name would be, you take the name of a childhood pet and add it to the street name you grew up on. 

So that would make me Sheba Monroe!  Start waving your dollar bills!

(I had a mongrel named Sheba and grew up on Monroe Street)

Come on guys, I am bored here in work on Monday, so submit your Porn Star names and give me a chuckle in an otherwise boring day.  :)

Play smart.


Saturday, December 18, 2010


One of Las Vegas' many lures (for me anyway) was the abundance of tournament play available.  Tournament play is my strength and I knew if I played in a few (or more) I'd cash.  This did turn out to be true, but at the end of my stay in Vegas I was down.  That was not part of the plan!

Here is a quick recap of my tournament play.

#1 $80 Tourney at Harrahs.  Approx 40 peeps, played for almost 4 hrs, and was THE BUBBLE. I wasn't shortstacked but only 5 players, the blinds and antes were huge and I wanted them.  I jammed all in with A-J sooted and got called by K-9 and lost on the river.

#2 $60 Tourney at Harrahs.  12 peeps, came in 2nd.  Big come back from $1,000 to chip leader.  When heads up, I had 90% of the chips and suffered 3 horrible bad beats in a row, witnessed by Lightning.

#3 WPBT Tourney.  $120 entry, 97 peeps, + $10 luckbox last longer challenge.   I started out with Otis, Poker Grump, Lightning and Brian Danilo (full tilt guy, most famous for being Al Can't Hang's bitch).  Brian was to my right and played at least 80% of the pots.  He was extremely aggressive, which is how I normally play, so it was hard for me to do my thing.  Plus I got very few premium hands in the 2 1/2 hrs I played.  The other "negative" was having Lightning at my table.  He was part of Team Waffles and I certainly didn't want to knock a teammate out and ruin my chances for extra cash.  It was no longer an issue when Waffles donked out so early solved that little problem.

I was very excited and apprehensive to play with Poker Grump at my table.  I watched his every move looking for a tell or two.  When he checked he did so with a dove-like touch that barely grazed the table.  That was usually followed by a fold.  Hmmm... Then he'd glance at his opponents chips, and check raise.  It was after the first break that he and I were in a hand together, however it was very short lived because SOMEONE is a meanie.

I hadn't played a hand in forever and my stack was dwindling.  I was 2nd off the button, had A-10 and came in raising....I believe to 3x the big blind.  2 people folded and then Grump thought for a moment or 2 and raised me.  Big raise considering my stack size, and I wasn't going to call.  I was either going to re-raise or  fold.  I did like my hand, but felt I could very easily be behind.  Could Grump really re-raise with less than A-10?  He'd been playing maybe 35% of his hands up till now. 

I folded.

Then he gives me a little grin and turns over.........................

Wait for it......................................................

That fucker...................................................

I owe him for this one....................................

He turned over 10-7 off suit.

Lucky for him he wasn't in my backhanding range.  I owe you Grumpy.....or more to the point, you owe me.  I am Sicilian and will never forget that until I exact my revenge.  :)  A grand gesture on your part is recommended.

This was before he raised me with crapola.
Read what The Wife wrote about this outfit! (and my cheeks)

After that I just didn't get a hand, except for AA and I got no action with it, only the blinds.  Finally I had about 4 big blinds left and looked down at A-Q crubs.  I jammed all in, in first position and got called by the SB who had AA. (what a donk, huh?)

I was down to a 25 chip!  At this point I wanted the misery to end, but you can't always get what you want.  I won a few hands in a row, but soon enough I lost to Brian Danilo who got a Very Josie t-shirt and a Jonathan Papelbon bobblehead, among other things.  :)

I was out 71st. Blah.  Earlier in the day, when we were having breakfast Miami Don predicted I'd be out in the 70's.  The bastard!!!! :) 

#4 Finally I played a highly anticipated tournament at The Venetian Saturday night.  $120 buy in, 90something peeps and 9 itm.  I played my heart out.  I played smart and got in good and built up my chip stack.  Then I had a couple of bad beats.  I find I go in tilt after the bad beat and play in more hands than I should.  I noticed this pattern in games 1, 2 & 4.  So anyway, I played for about 5 hours, 9 itm and I was out 11th when I jammed all in to pick up the blinds with q-9.  A-4 called me and I didn't improve my hand.  Such a donky move on my part after hours of solid playing.  I wasn't THAT shortstacked.  I should've waited till I was itm to make a move.  Very aggravating.

To recap, 1 bubble, 2 from the bubble, wpbt not even close and a 2nd place win.  It doesn't look too bad in recap form, but in 3 of 4 games I was far closer to winning than my places illustrate.

I feel traumatized that I didn't do better and am questioning whether I should even be playing this game.  I won the last 2 tournaments I played in before the Vegas trip (2 for 2) and am disappointed in myself.  I am  oscillating between that and wanting to get back on the horse, knowing I could do better if given the chance.

I dunno.  It sure was a sobering experience, and I never thought I'd write that in my Vegas post.

Play smart.


Thursday, December 16, 2010

It's almost Christmas!

Last night was Evan's Christmas concert.  He plays the saxaphone and he was soooo excited for the concert because A.) He had a duo (a 2 person solo) and B.) The concert is being televised on our local access tv station.

Handsome boy (I tied the tie for him)

He was amazing. 

But....the concert lasted for over 2 hours and I slept through about half of it.  (the half he didn't participate in)  I guess that I still haven't recovered from Vegas.  That being said, it's time to get my drink on again!

Why, you ask?

Because tomorrow (Friday) is the company Christmas Holiday party.  We have ordered 30 bottles of very expensive champagne....and there are 30 employees.  :)

Last year I made an effort to stay sober and not make a spectacle of myself, because 2 years ago, I did just that.

All I remember is vomiting into my recycle bin under my desk, while THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY (shown below) held my hair for me.


Anyway, what I DIDN'T remember was the owner (shown above) invited me to do shots of aged burbon and i guess I didn't turn that invitation down.  Ever since that, The Josie rule was established.  No hard liquor at the party. boss has been so good to me, and has given me cash baby a nice holiday gift, so I'm bringing him a nice small bottle of scotch.  Should be fun.  :)

Speaking of Christmas, Evan wants a modified controller for Christmas.  They are uber expensive, but I just ordered one online.  Anyone ever hear of these?  I guess they shoot alot faster than an average controller, but I'm concerned because I hear if you're caught using one, you can get kicked off xbox.  Is that pure bull shit?  Acornman, any thoughts?

Toys sure have changed since I was a kid.  One of my favorite gifts from Santa was this doll called Chrissy.  She had hair that would grow!!!! (kinda) And if you wanted it to be short again, you turned the wheel on her back to crank it back up inside her.  See below.


Back then it wasn't like today where kids have been exposed to tons of commercials and what they want has been imbedded in their minds.  I got what I got and I liked it.

Below are a couple other of my favorites.

Spirograph.  I never got tired of making amazingly pretty designs

Jaws, paperback

Jaws in paperback was a gift to my brother from Mom and Dad Santa.  It was the first non kiddie book I've ever read.  The size (and small font) was very intimidating, but once I got into it, I had to read it to the end.  It was the beginning of a great love affair with reading that I've never grown tired of.  When my mother realized I was reading it (I was maybe 10 at the most) she went through the book, and wherever she found anything suggestive, why she just ripped the page out.  Try reading a book, where maybe 15 pages are missing.  It killed me.  As I write this, I'm considering buying it again, just to read it in it's entirety.  I don't know what she could've even taken out.  I mean the movie Jaws didn't have many hot parts, now did it?

Books were a rarity and a pleasure when I was small.  I owned maybe 3 and they were prized possessions, dog eared and well used.

My all time favorite children's book when I was small (and remember I didn't have many) was a book called The Bumper Book.  I read it until it fell apart.

A Gateway to wonderland

After it started falling apart, I actually cut some of the pictures out to use in one of my 6th grade projects.  I have regretted that for years.

Somehow I've gotten onto the topic of books so let me stay there for a minute.  I brought one book (and a Star Magazine) with me for the Vegas trip.  I finished the book prior to the trip home so I decided to treat myself to a new book, while I was in the airport waiting to go home.

I ended up with a book called Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier.  Yeah, I guess you'd call it a chick book.  It's about a female fossil hunter in the 1800's and it's pretty good.

It's not as good as Girl with a Pearl Earring, but it'll do.

I have about 30 pages left and I'm on the horns of a dilemma.  I'd love to finish it right now, in bed, all warm and cozy.....BUT....I have to ride the bus into work tomorrow, and with a book, its a great ride, without a book not so much.  If I finish it tonight, I'll be scrambling for SOMETHING (ANYTHING) to read on the commute tomorrow.

Ah fuck it.  I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.  I have to find out what becomes of Mary Anning.  Besides, on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd only give it a 7.  Definitely not good enough to savor slowly.

Someday, when I'm rich, you'll find me surrounded by a pile of books. (while laying poolside in the sun)  Rich in money and prose. (although I like poetry too)

Josephine Anna Maria