Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Wednesday is Very Josie Day! UPDATED!!

Winner's Bounty

Happy December everyone!  It's the first Wednesday of December so you know what that means; it's The Very Josie!

Wednesday Night at 9pm.
Password is pokerbaby

Starting tomorrow, The winner of The Very Josie gets a coveted Very Josie t-shirt absolutely free!  The only way to get one is to win The Very Josie. (unless you're Miami Don)

So come on and play. 

Just to mix things up a little, I'm playing Spewday tonight.  I'm too freaking lazy to link it, but it's a HORSE game and I've never played one of those before.  Should be interesting.  I'll give you an update when it's over.  Hopefully I'll last a little longer than I did in last week's Mookie.

UPDATE:  I ended up BUBBLE in Spewday.  Soooo dumb!  This was my first time playing HORSE though....and I lost track of which game I was playing!  I thought I was playing a H/L game but it was RAZZ and I was all in with crapola, and I bubbled.  I did take Waffles ass out prior to that though and he was chip leader for most of the tourney.  :)

Play smart, especially if you're playing THE VERY JOSIE WEDNESDAY NIGHT.  :)


Monday, November 29, 2010


 I am front and center in blue and my brother is far right in black.

Yes, that picture is from the 80's, but it's the only one I've scanned of my brother.  Tomorrow would have been his 48th birthday.  Seems crazy to me, that my brother would be that old.  He died, you see, 13 years ago.

No, I'm not over it, but I've made progress towards healing in the past year.  The fact that I am able to write this post is proof of my progress.  I cannot even utter his name without crying.  So bear with me and yet another tribute type post as I try to honor his memory in a positive way.

Speaking of uttering his name....his name was Bennie, but I always called him Bayne - my private nickname for him.  It started out as Banus (a combo of Bennie and anus because he was a PIA) and then it morphed into Bayne.  So whenever I see a comment from Bayne, my heart skips a beat.

Anyway, he was 4 years older than me and from the time I was about 7 years old I was his fiercest protector.  He just seemed like he needed it.  He was always in trouble, in school and otherwise.  In hindsight I'm pretty sure he had something like ADHD but that sort of thing wasn't diagnosed at the time.

I'd do his homework for him and he'd do anything for me.  That's just how we were.  And later on as he got older he'd blow most of his money on partying which always bothered me.  I was quite the saver when I was young.  So after he came home from a night at the disco (yes, I am old) I'd scan his room for remaining money, scoff it and save it for him.  Over and over.  He never even missed it.  Till one day I told him he had almost $1,000 saved up.  He couldn't frigging believe it.  He knew I'd been socking away "some" money for him but didn't have a clue as to how much.

Later on, well I always made sure he had a job but learned that people have to do for themselves.  There were some things that I just couldn't fix.  Like his marriage.  His relationship with his ex-wife....his depression.

I'm lucky enough to have people in this world that love me, but I will tell you this.  He loved me beyond compare.  In his eyes I could do no wrong, and baby I've done plenty of wrong.  His nickname for me?  Mother Theresa.

He was found with pictures of his children...and me - a bad picture of me from an old camping trip that I thought I'd thrown away.

Happy Birthday Bayne...


Sunday, November 28, 2010


Isn't he handsome?

That is my handsome 12 year old son.  And what's that he's wearing?  Why it's a Very Josie t-shirt!  Tomorrow one just like it is being shipped to The Netherlands!  Woot!  Very Josie is very international!

Would you like to be as cool as Evan and have your own Very Josie t-shirt?  All you have to do is win The Very Josie tournament.  It's this Wednesday, December 1st.  Come play with me, and the winner will get his own Very Josie t-shirt.

I'll be practicing my mad tourney skills in preparation for Vegas, baby, so watch out.  I'll be coming out swinging.  This Wednesday @ 9:00pm. 

The Very Josie

The password is pokerbaby.

Play smart.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Mmmmmm Turkey

Wishing each of you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.  Lucky for me, I'll be doing more eating than cooking for this holiday.  My mother is making Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm helping out a bit.

I'm making a couple of side dishes (the peas and sweet potatoes) plus I'm baking lemon drop cookies and an apple almond cheesecake.  As Rachael Ray would say....Delish!

Thanksgiving is pretty much about 3 things; food, football and being thankful.  Today I told my boss I was thankful for him.  I think he was shocked.  Now I'm not talking about the owner; the old guy I love, love love.  Although I'm thankful for him too.  Yesterday the owner did me a large favor, then came over to bring me my bottle of Thanksgiving wine.  I thanked him, but it was more for the favor than the wine.  He understood.  He whispered in my ear "Dear, I'd do anything for you." And you know what?  I'd do anything for him. 

But anyway, my immediate boss is a PIA, but nevertheless, I'm thankful for him too.  We just have a different type of relationship.  He whines relentlessly and I listen and respond.  Blah.  But he's a good guy, just not an enjoyable one.

On the poker front - suck.  I've played very little lately, although last night I fired up ole Full Tilt and decided to play a few tourneys.  3 to be exact and I lost, lost, lost.  No, not because of bad beats and poker gods and blah blah blah.  Yeah, I got sucked out on, but that's not why I lost.  I lost because I didn't play well.  Played too many hands I shouldn't have been in.  Need to sharpen up, but not tonight.

Tonight's for baking, just like tomorrow's for eating.  And football.  And giving thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving my dears. 


Monday, November 22, 2010


I'm in the midst of planning our office Christmas Holiday party.  It seems that the hardest part is coming up with our annual party game, so I am looking for ideas that I can steal use.

Last year our game was "Two Truths and a Lie" which I stole from Linda Lou's fabulous book, Bastard Husband, A Love Story.  It was alot of fun.  Every employee submitted 2 truths and 1 lie about themselves.  We put it all on a big board and everyone had to figure which one was the lie.  The point is to submit truths that no one knows about and make the lie believable so it's hard to determine.

Every year the game is different, and quite frankly I am out of ideas.  We've done the "submit a baby picture of yourself and guess who's who."  We did a doppleganger one.  We submitted quotes of things said by each employee and you had to guess who said it.  Once you add booze, these games become a riot.

Below are the options for this year so far, and none are really great:

1.  Submit your favorite Christmas gift as a child.  Then we all guess who's gift is whose.
2.  Whoever you get for secret santa - you must stealthily take something from this person's desk - something somewhat personal and give to me.  All items will be numbered and displayed at the party.  You have to guess who's stuff it is.
3. Be a Movie Star - everyone gets a move star name stuck to their back and they have to guess who they are by asking questions.

I'm obviously looking for better ideas.  Got any?


Saturday, November 20, 2010

What to do?

I'm still feeling sick, but kind of committed to another Spades game at Lynne's house.  Stay home and be sick, or cancel, which I know will disappoint them? When she scheduled the spades game, she made it for when I was available.  But damn, I cannot seem to shake this congestion.

Was feeling better yesterday.  Today, not so much.

And I was planning on getting so much done today (Saturday) but it's almost 2pm and I'm sitting here inert.

Oh well.


Friday, November 19, 2010

2 1/2 weeks

Less than 3 weeks till Vegas, but who's counting? :)  I get to try out my mad poker skills in Vegas baby!  Hopefully, you know that was written with a bit of sarcasm.  Yet I really do have a knack for reading people, both at the poker table and in life.  We shall see if I reap some benefits from it.

Okay, it's my day off and I'm about to get some errands done, so i have to make this quick.  Below are the reasons why I'm so excited to FINALLY go to Las Vegas:

(in no particular order)

1.)  Live action Baby!
2.)  Lots o drinking
3.)  Wolfie's bringing Salted Cararmels.  (if he doesn't, let's just say that would be BAD)
4.)  Meeting Wolfie
5.)  I'll be meeting MIAMI DON. (I'm gonna try not to act like a groupie)
6.)  Ditto for Lightning
7.)  Ditto for Waffles - although I've already "met" him.  Haven't seen him in quite a while though.  Certainly not since he started sporting his Porn Stache. 
8.) Poker Grump!  Yes, I'll be meeting him too!  Wheeeeee
9.) Playing with my team, in the last longer challenge.  I love me some team sports.  :)
10.)  Um.....SPORTS BOOK.  At my disposal.  Bestill my beating heart.
11.) It'll be a helluva lot warmer than frigging Boston
12.) I'd really LOVE to meet Carmen......of course she doesn't know me, but bahhh that never stopped me before.
13.)  Maybe I'll see Bammer, Riggs, Oh Captain....no Mojo though.  :(
14.)  Ah, and my old love - Black Jack!  Jack used to be my first love, until poker came along in a major way.  Nevertheless, a one hour black jack session is the easiest and quickest way to win a few hundred bucks, assuming you can count cards, and manage your betting properly.  Ohhhh old love, it's time for a visit!

So that's the good news.

The bad news is I am socially inept and have a really hard time meeting people for the first time.  No social skills.  Waffles can attest to this.  Although I've already met him, so there won't be a problem there.  I'm really not going to worry about it too much.  I will rely on liquid courage. 

I think it's pretty funny that I completely forgot to mention "food" on my list of fave Vegas things.  I suppose there will be some time for eating.  They serve food in the poker room and sports book, right?  :)

I didn't forget shit like magic shows, celine dion concerts, or a visit to the ferrari showroom.  I won't be doing ANY of that stuff. Mama's got her priorites.  Guess that means sleeping's out too.

And here's the final thing on my list....

15.)  WINNING a tournament.  Bank on it.  It just maybe the blogger tournament you'll be playing too.  Then again maybe not, but I'll tell you this;  I'll be winning a tourney.

Play smart.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

What's your name?

I'm wicked sick.  Shivering and sweats all night.  What a freakin combo.  But I'm in work for now because duty calls. (and my boss is out tomorrow)

Which brings me to the point of this post.  I had plans to meet with a new employee this morning, which I just did.  Lovely Asian girl, but English is definitely not her first, second, or third language.  Anyway, I ask her how to pronounce her name (I really try not to butcher people's names) and she tells me her name is....


"Really, pronounce it again so I can get it right" I request.


Does she know she has the name of  a nerdy boy?  I'm thinking no.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Olive Story

The Pits

I have always loved olives.  Heck, my Nonno was an olive farmer in Sicily, so why wouldn't I love olives.  My ex brother in law, however hated olives.  He was a meat and potatoes kind of guy.  That's pretty much all he ate, when he wasn't eating butter and potato chip sandwiches.  Yes, a real gourmet.

Anyway, we all went away to NH for the weekend and we were sharing a suite.  We always brought tons of snacks, and someone brought a small box of chocolates, which was quickly eaten.  Later on, I was laying on a bed, reading my book, and eating some olives!  I had no where to put the pits except for in the little chocolate box that was near by.  Perfect!  I'd suck on an olive for a while, nibble the yummy olive goodness off the pit and deposit the pit in the empty chocolate box.  Rinse and repeat.

Then I went down to the pool for a swim.

When I got back exbro in-law was laying on the bed eating chocolates!  He had the box in his lap and something in his mouth!  I said "What are you doing?"  He said he was having some chocolate but they were really hard.  They must be stale.

I said "No....those are olive pits!"  He jumped up like his ass was on fire and spit the offending pit out.  "I was wondering what that taste was! You think that's funny?" (I was dying laughing)  He thought that I had tricked him on purpose.  So I added "You know, I was sucking on those olive pits." Ahhh good times.

Oh on an entirely different, and you just may lose your lunch, note.  I have a zit smack on the middle of my chest and it's starting to look like a third nipple.  Blah.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Fast Food

Online poker is to live games, as fast food is to gourmet fare.

How online poker and fast food are alike:
  • They both are quick options.
  • You think they are satisfying till afterwards.
  • They are addicting.
  • Afterwards, you'll be thinking, "why did I indulge?".
That being said, although I do play my fair share of online poker, I do NOT eat fast food regularly.  Maybe once every 4 months at most.  Unless you count pizza, and I do not!

Mmmmm pizza.....as much as I love pizza I don't have it very often either.  When I do have it, it's to be social at lunch time at work. 

I work at the edge of the North End of Boston, which is Italian, Italian, Italian.  I am a 2 minute walk from the famous Pizzeria Regina, but most of the people at work get their pizza at Ernesto's.  First time I went to Ernesto's I ordered 2 slices of pizza and was handed 2 thirds of a large pie.  I didn't know that when you order one slice, you get 2 very large slices.  Those Italians are generous, which is why everyone in the office goes there - quantity not quality.

The bestest pizza in The North End (hence in Massachusetts) can be found at Galleria Umberto's on Hanover Street.


Oh my God, is it good!  It's soooo goood....that you have to wait in line to get pizza, huge line, unless you get there before noon.  And NO you can't call your order in.  They don't allow that. It's hard though, because if you have an hour for lunch, you can expect to spend half of that hour waiting in a line that usually spills out onto the sidewalk.

And it's not like they will sell pizza all afternoon.  They make so much dough - enough for the day, and when they run out of dough, the restaurant (I'm using that term loosely) closes.  I dunno that I'd call it a restaurant.  It's an open hall, which is needed for the huge line, and there are seats on either side of the hall. 

Oh and you want pepperoni on your pizza? NO! They don't do that. They sell ONE kind of pizza. Cheese pizza. And it's unfrigging believeable. They sell maybe 5 items.....pizza, 2 kinds of calzone, aranciata and maybe one other thing, but I wouldn't really know because if I'm there I'm getting pizza.

Slices are small, square and only a buck each.  Everything there is super cheap although all the "trattorias" that surround Umberto's are anything but cheap.  But they don't care about competition, progess or raising their prices.  I just checked to see if they have a website and of course they don't, but check out this link: http://www.hiddenboston.com/GalleriaUmberto.html

I know they're been there for at least 40 years.  Because my mom would take us kids there when we were very little.

We lived in the suburbs but once in a while my Mom would go to The North End on the weekend to shop at Haymarket - which was an open air market that sold produce and fish, and everyone spoke Italian.  Anyway she brought all of us kids, so we could carry all the stuff she bought.  Produce is heavy!  If we did as we were told we'd each get a slice of pizza from Umberto's.

I had completely forgotten about the place till I started working in the area and someone told me I should go to this "secret hole in the wall" and it was a Russian woman who mentioned it.  I told her I'd been there before but I'd love to go!

Mmmmm pizza.

Can you tell I'm back on my diet?  This post was intended to be about online poker but c'e la vie.

Play smart.


Friday, November 12, 2010

Mama's going to Vegas!


I am so excited.  Everything is booked so that makes it official.  If I drink enough Monster energy drinks, I'll have 120 hours of poker playing time.  I. Can't. Wait.

I ended up getting a super cheap deal and because of the cheap flights on Wednesday, I'm going a day early!

What I'd really like to do Wednesday evening is play a good sized tournament.  I checked The Venetian's website and there isn't much going on, on Wednesdays.  Just a $60 mtt at 8pm.

Can anyone recommend where I can find a juicy No Limit Holdem Tournament on Wednesday, Dec 8th? Help a sista out!

I had yesterday off, and went Christmas shopping with the girls, all day long.  Didn't get home till after 9:30!  These are the same girls from the weekend getaway.  They insisted we wear our matching tshirts for the shopping trip so I complied.  I mean how could I not?  The woman who made those tshirts is making The Very Josie T-Shirts for me.  And they're going to be awesome!  She was a little shocked at the graphics but they're almost done!  I explained to her that I needed things speeded up so I could send one to The Netherlands.  I also have to send one over the pond to Nacho's friend, Acornman.

Who knew the first 2 shirts would be sent out of the US.  Here's hoping one of the U.S. boys will win the next Very Josie, as whoever wins The Very Josie will now get a t-shirt!

On the poker front, I am playing an $8 (2) table step game on Full Tilt, right now.  I seem to donk off chips when I over play small pairs.  Gonna try to work on that.

Play smart, and let me know if you have any information on tourneys in Vegas...specifically on Wed Dec 8th or Fri Dec 10th.  I am keeping Thursday open for meeting all you awesome bloggers that have kept me entertained all year long. You guys rock.


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Action anyone?

Anyone wanna bet on whether or not Wolfie comes home from Vegas with this tattoo?

Monday, November 8, 2010


Believe it or not, I have NEVER had an energy drink, Monster or otherwise.  Before today, that is.

Tonight I am doing ANOTHER focus group and this one is on energy drinks.  When asked if I drink them regularly, I answer affirmative!  Um, that means I lied.

But I did it for you guys!  If I do this focus group, I'll have me some drinkin' money.

And even though I lied, I do like to give them their money's worth, so today my fave receptionist went out at lunch and bought me TWO Monster energy drinks.  I drink about 3/4 of the first one and I feel like I'm on crack!  Sheesh - maybe this stuff should be illegal.

I will be sampling the other flavor (first one tasted gross, yet I told them thats what I drink!) as soon as this post is finished.  I may get a week's worth of work done on Monday.


Kinda worried though that they are going to make me try like 10 different kinds while I'm there tonight.  I may never get to sleep.

Hey, anyone see that cry baby, Affleck lose at the WSOP.  What a fucking moron to be crying like a little cry baby.  That's for you..

Play smart.


Gooooo Bengals!

Happy Monday Peeps!

Didn't I tell you that Week 9 looked mighty fine?  I did very well this week, getting ALL of my picks right EXCEPT my 10 (New England) and my 1 (Kansas City).  Not too shabbay.  Too bad I didn't have a frigging bet with Heffmike!

Anyway, because of my awesome picking skills, I'm in first place for the week, but only ahead by one point.  That's the good news.

The bad news is if Pittsburgh (my pick) wins tonight, I will lose, because someone has alot more points on it than I do.  See spreadsheet below.

But if Cincy wins.............

Very Josie wins!

Yeah, I know that Pittshburgh will most likely win, so stfu.  Any given Monday....

Blah, it's 6:35am and I am putting off getting in the shower and getting ready for work.  I'm too damn cold, but I gotta be like Nike and Just Do It.



Sunday, November 7, 2010

Week Nine Looks Mighty Fine

Hey Boys,

As you know Waffles and I settled our bet at last Wednesday's Very Josie poker game.  He kicked my butt when he came in 3rd and I came in 4th.  But there is plenty of football left baby!!!

Below are my picks for Week 9.

Click on the pic if you wanna be able to read it

As you can see I am in 2nd place BY ONE POINT.  Whoever said football was a game of inches was damn right.  So I didn't win the halfway pot, but I did win my halfway bet with Adam.  If you look carefully, you'll see that Adam is at the bottom of this page.  There are a few others beneath him, but I couldn't fit them all into the screen shot.  So he's not dead last....but he is dead.  :)

Anyway, Adam and I have another side bet for most points at the end of the year, and since he's almost 100 points behind me, I told him there is no way he can possibly even compete.

Now Adam is a good guy.  He's like 6' 11" (well that's the way he looks from my short point of view) and whenever I rag on him TOO much, he'll stretch his hand high above his head and say to me "High-five Josie!  Jump for it!".  The bastard.  Other than that he's a good kid.  Oh and he has something in common with Waffles....he has GOUT in his toe!  How freaking weird is that?  He's like in his 20's, uber-fit and he has gout.  Go figure.  I'm getting sidetracked though.

So I was feeling bad about the end of year side-bet because there's no way he can catch up, so I offer him a different bet.  I tell him that for the 2nd half, we'll wipe the slate clean and start counting  points with Week 9.  So we both go into Week 9 with 0 points.  He thinks about it for a while...and says NO!

Says he thinks he can catch up and beat me by the end of the year!

He's out of his fricking mind and I tell him so.  I explain that the new offer is nothing but good for him. Then about an hour later he comes by my office and says..."Yeah, let's start the 2nd half with the slate cleaned..."

I agreed.

Unless something catastrophic happens, there's still no way he can win, but at least this makes the bet a little more fun.

Speaking of leagues.....

I played at Lynne's house last night - Black Men and Lesbian league....except there were no black men there!  It's a league than culminates at the Super Bowl.  Only 9 peeps showed up, and the league leader, Marvin, was sick.  This was just the opportunity I needed to move up in the ranks. I'm in 4th place.

I told Lynne that because she was in 2nd and Marvin was MIA, she was going to be my target.  Did I hit my target?  Yes!  I took her out and got a $5 bounty.  That was the good news.  Here comes the bad news.

Such a shitty showing meant only 2 peeps in the money.  So I'm playing away doing my thing, and we are down to 3.  And then I make a boneheaded dumb ass move. 

Blinds are 1k/2k and I am the small blind.  Rick limps on the button, so there is 5k in there.  I am the chip leader with slightly more chips that Rick.  I had maybe 2k more than him.  Anyway, he limps and I look down at Snowmen (8-8).

I KNOW he doesn't have a big hand, and I know I ain't gonna win this post flop, so I jam all in, KNOWING he's going to call.  He hems and haws for a while and finally he calls on the bubble for all his chips.......

....with Ace Nine.

Fuck!  What the fuck did I just do?  I completely forgot that Rick was a total donk.

Flop was 9 high and I was very shortstacked.  Next hand I get is 5-2.  Flop is J-J-2 and I don't have much left so I jam all in.  The other guy calls because the jam was so little.  And he catches runner, runner for a straight.

Bu-bye.  3rd place.  Bubble.  I keep fucking bubbling and not only that, I keep bubbling when I play small/med pairs.  I will drill this lesson into my lovely brain.

Oh and here's the other stupid thing I did.

Um....I think I have a big  problem that I don't know how to solve.  If any of you have suggestions, please lay them on me.

Lynne...Remember, I told her that she was gonna be my target because she was in 2nd place?  I just fuck around with the people I play with.  It's what I do...it doesn't mean SHIT.

I think it meant something to her though....

For the past couple months I've been getting that feeling that Lynne's really...um..into me.  My expertise lies with men, so I wasn't too sure, but after last night, I'M SURE.

She was flirting with me, in a very very major way.  She was trying to get me drunk, and she kept saying she wanted my attention.  Okay...but her wife was playing - which makes the wifey a little less pleasant.  At the end of the night she pretty much begged me for a back rub...while the wife was in ear shot.

This is NOT good.

I don't want the wife to hate me, and I don't want Lynne thinking....you know.  I SWEAR I have done nothing to inspire this, other than telling her she's my target, but I meant for POKER.  Ugh.

Lynne knows this guy....she's getting a group together to take a limo up to Foxwoods the week before Thanksgiving, and I'm in!  She says we're gonna get drunk on the way up.  I'm in for that too, but now I'm worried that Wife will definitely be shooting me daggers, and this sux.  I plan on sitting next to the brothers for the ride up.  At this point, they're the safest bet - which is a riot.

So I really wanna go, yet I don't want to deal with the wife.  Who btw is short, kinda plump and has dark brown hair.  Sound like anyone we know? (I'm much more attractive though)

So what do I do? 

Besides, playing smart?


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Guess What Happened?

I was the bubble

We played The Very Josie tonight and had just a great time!  Damn, I love blogger MTTs.  Here's a quick recap, although things already seem fuzzy...

I started out with a bang! 8th hand of the game and I limped with pocket 3s, no one raised and we got to look at a flop.  Flop was 10, 6, 3.  Boom!  I bet out and Gary called.  Turn was another 6 giving me a full house.  I bet, he raised, I reraised..that went back and forth a few times  until we were all in.  Gary flipped over a 6-2 for three of a kind and I had a full house.  GG Gary. 

BTW I did have 2 new players that have never played The VJ before.  Krack ur Nuts from The Netherlands and Mr. AcornMan from Scotland.  We were lucky to get Acorn because he had the next day off.  Yay!  (or booo depending on how you look at it,but I'm getting ahead of myself)

As you know I offered any new players a prize for playing.  So Krack and Acorn are getting Very Josie T-shirts....the very first ones!  I don't have them yet but expect them in next week, and I expect them to be awesome.  Winners of The Very Josie will now win a Very Josie T-shirt as well.  And they're so cool!

Okay so back to the game.  Even though I chipped up early, I made bonehead move #1 when I flopped tptk and Ugly Wolfie jammed all in.  I called and was facing a big over pair: K-K.  Bone headed move that doubled Wolfie up and put me back to mebbe 3,500.  Not really a hardship and soon enough I was back in the 5-6K range. 

Also soon enough, Wolfie was out of the tournament.  :)  Well not that soon.  I think he made it to the final table but that's about it.  Actually below is a screen shot of where we all ended up.

My second boneheaded move was my demise.  HeffMike was to my right.  Now I've played with him enough to have a feel for how he plays.  And he was jamming all in on my blinds over and over again.  Finally he did it when I had 6-6.  Now I had a ton of chips and there's no need to risk most of them with 6-6, I mean at best I'm up against 2 overs, or worse against an over pair.  Yet when he jammed all in, I somehow called him.  he turned over 9-9 and I doubled him up, and left myself with about 1,300 in chips.


No matter....I played and played.  Jammed when I thought I had the best hand, and stole the BB of Mr. PushMonkey who was suddenly absent.  I got it back up to 6-7K and played my heart out.

You guys know this was my tiebreaker bet against Waffles, right?  Whoever lasted longer....I dunno was the most awesome person in the universe.  Well, Waffles is AWESOME.  I've actually never saw him play as well as he did tonight in a tourney.  Patience galore and making the right bets at the right time.  Anyway, don't get me wrong, I wasn't all that bad myself.

We were down to 4 peeps....3 itm....and I had a small pair that I jammed into a bigger pair.  I think it was Acorn who took me out 4th.  Then like 2 hands latah Waffles was out 3rd.  GG Waffles.  I think he wants his 2 drinks served in a very special manner. 

So with the donks like Waffles and me out of the way, it was down to Acorn Man from across the pond (hi mate!) and HeffMike, who is rapidly replacing Dionysus as the poker blogger whose play I admire, but more on Dionysus in a bit. :)  (hi dionysus!)  It's heads up so of course I start rooting for Acorn.  First of all, he's got a cute accent, 2nd of all he's got a cute accent.  As I'm encouraging him to kick Heff's sorry ass out of this tourney.....Heff says that if he wins he'll ship the buyin back to me!  Don't forget that I paid his way tonight.  (does that make him ma bitch?) 

Anyway, turns out that I'd do just about anything for $11!!!

I start to root for Heffmike like it's the 2004 world series and he's on the red sox!  Gooooooooo Heff!!!!!  Heff had the lead heads up too, but after quite a long heads up battle, Acorn doubled up to get the lead, and then finally the win. 

First time player and winner................................ACORN MAN!!!!

It might've been Acorn's first Very Josie, but it sure wasn't his first poker game.  Me mate can play.  Congrats man!

Speaking of men.......Dionysus......out early. D was telling me how much he wanted Very Josie's bounty....how he was gonna get it, but guess what?  I took D's ass out and got his bounty - which is the sweetest money of all.  Mmmmmmmm

I dunno what happened to Lightbulb...but he was there.

Play smart.


PS - This shitty recap, written when I'm half asleep just doesn't do it justice....doesn't illustrate all the fun, all the trash talking, all the bs and good ole poker playing fun that was had.  You should really play next time.  Frigging fun!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Oh, I was right...

It was PMS after all.  But don't worry...feeling better now.


Chicks, Man

Women are so smart in the little game we call life.  I've learned so much from so many women in my life.  Lessons that I've carried with me for decades.  This isn't a testament to my memory, which is mediocre at best in some ways, but to long lasting impact they've made on me.
When I was in my early twenties I worked with a woman called Birdie.  One of the happiest people I've ever known.  She was maybe 350 lbs, and sported a crew cut, but spent 3 weeks of every year on a nude beach at Martha's Vineyard.  No clothes at all for almost a  month!  Talk about a great self image.  She loved every little thing about herself and her body and she's one of the happiest people I've ever known. 

It was my first job out of school.  I was doing cash management for a company that managed health facilities.  Birdie taught me my job, how to survive my first experience in an office, and covered my ass on many occasions.  I find myself  playing "The Birdie" role every now and again in the office where I work now.  I chuckle to myself but am happy to pay it forward. 

And let's not forget  my mom.  Born and bred in Sicily.  Mom taught me everything, but here are some doozies:

"Always knock with your feet."  As in, if you are visitng someone, you should always have to knock with your feet because your arms are full.  Never visit anyone empty handed!

"When the fox can't get to the grapes he says Oh they're probably sour anyway." 

"You can tell if a person is good or bad by the way they treat elderly people."

"Black matches everything."

"Pasta keeps cooking even after you take it off the heat."

So yes, women are smart in life.  Very often they are smart in business too.  So tell me this.  Why oh why do I think that women make the shittiest poker players?  Present company excepted.  :)

Saturday at Seabrook, I'd say maybe 5% of the players were female.  It seemed to me that all the women I encountered played 1 of 2 ways.  (both ways being shitty imo)

Too tight:  They'd play very little and check/fold at a minimum bet.  They seemed to be waiting for AA or KK and wouldn't play much else.  And when they did play, with something like AK they would fall on their sword for it.  Couldn't seem to fold ace high after the flop.  They would get chipped down and have to do something desperate.


Crazy Ladies:  There were some women that seemed to be in every hand and calling every raise with the worst hand.  Then they would call a bet after the flop with nothing.  I saw one woman call with nothing down to the river, just to catch a river card for a win, time and again.  How does she call with nothing?  She chipped up early with her river catches but was out of the tourney way before the final table.  You can only get lucky like that for so long.

I really did not see one woman who played well.  NOT ONE.  And that bums me out, but it reminds me of my worst tournament experience.  About 3 years ago I played in the Ladies Event at Foxwoods.  I think the buy in was $350.  The biggest buy in I have ever paid to play poker.

And the play at my table was terrible.  It seemed that no one really knew what they were doing.  It was a very frustrating day that ended earlier than I wanted it to.  I will never play another Ladies Event again, and truly, I don't even know why there are "Ladies" events.  I mean it's not frigging football.  Braun is not a factor, so why segregate women in a separate tournament?  Is it to make it easier on us ladies, by taking the big bad men out of the competition?  We play against men on a regular basis.  Playing at a table of all women was like The Twilight Zone.  I suggest you don't try it.

What I do suggest you do is play The Very Josie tonight.  At $10 + 1, it's practically free!  And if you're HeffMike, it IS free.  And there won't be a table full of women.  Only one.  And when that one woman takes you out, and you're tempted to insult me, remember this:  "When the fox can't get to the grapes he says Oh they're probably sour anyway."

Play smart.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Wanna play with me?

If so, then you are in luck!  The Very Josie is Wednesday night.

It is Private Tournament # 19402975.  I'm already registered so an easy way to find it is to look for me; veryjosie.  It starts at 9pm ET SHARP. 

Below are the top ten reasons why you should play The Very Josie Wednesday night.

10.  It's easy money, as Wolfie is playing!
 9.  Bayne, most likely will NOT be playing, because his GPS watch is broken and he's been walking in circles, lost.
8.  This game serves as the tie breaker between Waffles and me.  That right there is reason enough to play.  Cheap entertainment.  His ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower.
7. Cuz I said so.
6. Cuz I want you to.
5. Cuz if this is your first time playing The Very Josie, you will get A PRIZE.
4. Just effing play, okay?
3. Cuz I'm so darn sweet.
2. You'll learn a thing or 2 when you play against me.

And the number one reason to play The Very Josie..........

1.  Lawyers in Frigging New Jersey have nothing better to do anyway.  :)  Which reminds me....I need to be added to the frigging Lawyer's blog roll.  If I last longer, I want in!

Play smart.


Monday, November 1, 2010

It's Just Another Manic Monday

I swear I must have PMS.  Oh never mind, it must be that I'm a bitch.  Yeah, that's it.  Okay, ready to hear me bitch whine make some thoughtful observations?

I (and everyone else) got the email below from the commissioner of my online league this morning:

congrats to my dad for winning Week 08!!!

and, as for halftime payout, it all comes down to tonight between josie and ed...
once again, josie is put in the predicament of actually hoping that her final pick for the week is wrong... hehe anyhow, good luck to both of you!!!!

So I sent the following email to Ed (and everyone else):

Ed sucks eggs. And dresses in women's clothing when no one but Booch is around. I'm just sayin'.

Yes, I am VERY mature.  I guess here's hoping that Indy loses.  It's like hoping Santa's coming to visit me.  Very unlikely. 

On the upside, the office girls are begging me to go out for drinks tonight after work.  One of the girls dressed up as Snooki for Halloween.  I'm gonna ask permission to share a photo here.  Hilarious!

Speaking of office girls - You Know Who is driving me nuts.  Her husband had surgery on his hip, so she brought the xrays into the office.  She kept telling me REPEATEDLY how I had to see the xrays cuz they were so cool.  I don't dig medical stuff.  Yuck.  I don't even want to see my own xrays, so I declined.  This was maybe 3 months ago.  So after I decline - she brings them over and shoves them in my face - LITERALLY.  After I told her I didn't want to see them.  Stuff like that really bothers me.

Couple of weeks ago, he goes in for another surgery and yup she brought the new xrays in and said "You have to see the new xrays.  They're sooooo cool!"

Here was my response "Idiot*, I don't like xrays.  I don't want to see them.  You showed them to me last time after I told you I don't like that sort of thing."

Later that afternoon.....I'm walking by her desk and she calls me.  I go to see what she wants and she has the xray in one hand and her other hand is covering the penis portion of it this time.

I was shocked. 

She jumped right in with "isn't that cool?  I'm covering the bad part..."  So again I explain that I TOLD her I didn't want to see them, and I DON'T THINK THIS IS COOL.  I tell her this in no uncertain terms again. 

Today she sent me an email of her jack o lanterns.  Hmmmm the cut outs weren't faces....I stupidly respond and say, "What did you carve?  I can't make it out."  But I should've known.  She used his xrays as a pattern for her jack o lantern.  "Isn't that cool?"

You better hope my mood improves by Wednesday because This Wednesday is:

The Very Josie

The hottest private online poker tournament in town.  I want all the old players to play and I want NEW players too.  In fact, if you've never played The Very Josie before, I suggest you start THIS WEDNESDAY.  Each new player that has never played before will get a prize.  A prize!!!  I'm also thinking about giving a prize to the winner but you know, that'd be ME.

Play Wednesday.  Password is pokerbaby.

In Waffles news, he and I are even steven.  We need some sore of tiebreaker and I'm open to suggestions.  Oh and Waffles has removed all facial hair and looks like the teenager who shovels snow for me.  What some hot chocolate little boy?

Play smart.