Friday, January 13, 2012

Thank Goodness

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.  On tap is a poker tournament at 1pm (yay) and then......

The New England Patriots VS The Denver Broncos

Tom Terrific VS Mediocrity (but religious!)


I LOL at anyone who thinks this could even be a close game.  No.  It wouldn't have been close at Mile High Stadium and it surely won't be close at Gillette.  That being said, I will be enjoying it very much.  I figure I should be home from the tourney by 6pm, which will give me enough time to get my sweats on and settle in for the show.

For my post fantasy football league I need The Pats to win and GB too for that matter.  I don't think this will be a problem.  :)  It's going to be a fun Saturday.

Let's get back to poker for a moment.  The last time I played at this private club I did quite badly.  I'll be up against a field where over 50% of the players do not play basic poker well, as well as  Pokah Dave (awesome dude) his sister and girlfriend.  A lot of baaaaaaad poker players and a few great ones.  Such is life.  My goal is to outlast Pokah Dave, and I will.

Remember my friend Tony from Vegas?  He's the guy who grinds out low limit poker and then loses thousands of dollars in video black jack so he can get a free fucking room.  That guy.  I was trying to help him stay away from the machines and build his roll.  Futile, I know.  He's addicted, I know.  Yet, I thought with a little support from a friend he might be able to make it through a week, see/learn that if he stayed away his roll would build.  Dumb, I know.  He's been winning money at poker and losing even more than he's won at video black jack.  I offered him an incentive if he'd stay away from it for a week.

He didn't.

I offered it one last time.

He accept the offer.

And then put about $500 in a machine after 3 days of not.

Of course all the neanderthals at his blog thought I offered a picture of my boobs, a web cam show of said boobs, and I dunno what else.  Oh yes, I do!  I was also told I had "tired boobs" (wrong!) that I had maternal instincts for a 42 yr old man and that I was like one of those women who marry guys on deathrow.  That was nice.   I listened to all their shiat and kept my temper under control....well, for me anyway. <---miracle right there.  My point is I took a lot of shit, something I don't normally do, because I felt being supportive was more important than telling someone to fuck off.  Unfortunately, Tony thinks it's more important to play machine games that are -EV than keep his roll intact.  I suppose we all make our choices.  This is America. 

Trying to get Tony to stop machines is like a tail trying to wag a dog.

Anyway, since it's never going to happen I may as well tell you what Tony was going to get if he managed 7 days as a poker player exclusively.

I was going to send a package to his POBox that contained:

Walgreens Gift Card, $50 - Tony said he was in walking distance to a Walgreens.
Burger King Gift Card, $50 - Yum!  Actually, I much prefer McDonalds.
Money Belt - This is a concealed wallet typically worn while travelling to prevent pick pocketing I suppose. It is worn strapped around the waist under your shirt. Tony keeps his money in his sock and I thought this would be a good alternative.  Bummer is I already bought it online.  I will give it to Evan tonight though and I am sure he'll think it's cool.  Lord knows, I would never strap bulk to my waist.
Toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash and listerine strips.  Just in case he used the Walgreens card for something else.
2 new polo shirts and a couple of poker tshirts.
Snickers bars
Homemade cookies
My copy of Mike Matesow's biography

Granted there would no pictures of tits in the package, but it would still be a decent haul.  Obv not as exciting as pushing buttons on a machine like a monkey, and then swearing at said machine.


I'd rather think about poker and football.

Play smart.



sevencard2003 said...

i just assumed the package would probably be something i didnt know if id want since u wouldnt say what it was, and we did talk about the gift cards but i never expected it to be over $10. had i known u was going to send all that, i couldve easily stayed off them for a week. mainly just so u wouldnt give up on me. all of them things would been very invaluable to me. i feel bad because i really do want to quit playing them, am terrified ill end up broke and on the streets. ive won about $1000 at poker in the last 10 days, but have gained nothing because its barely keeping pace with what i lost in the machines. and i dont feel like counseling will keep me off them. i feel like the only way to keep off them is by being far from a casino and only playing online, or by spending all my time in the company of a fellow poker player til im ready to sleep, and no one is interested in doing that. grouchie is mad and donkeytax is too busy with tournies. and i was serious about wanting to live in FL instead of NJ, but to get to florida on the amtrak it takes u thru wash dc on the way, so while im up there, i would want to visit ac nj and foxwoods on the way since its so close. and yes i would probably not get to florida til a month or so later. so they were partly right.

Josie said...

I'm terrified of you going broke too, but man, I am out of ideas.

borzi said...

So, so sad. Josie, you are too nice and too nice within TBC's Blog. We need that fire that you have here in the wasteland that is "How to win at low stakes poker" lol More like, "How to lose everything on a machine"

The boobies just might have kept Tony off the machines for the week.

lightning36 said...

Ahh, the bad comments really only came from that one d-bag who was just trolling. Most of the people were very supportive of you. Yeah -- sometimes you appear to have a heart of gold despite being short tempered (and short everything else!).

Hey Tony -- I'll be out in just over three weeks. The offer of a free buffet is still good.

badbilly32 said... great surprise, im curious what do i have to do to get that care package sent to me? :)

what if i stay off tony's blog for 7 days?

it wouldnt have mattered if you told him you were gonna send him 100,000 dollars, he wouldnt stay off the machines, he wouldnt do it for crackwhore brittany...he wont do it for anyone

he doesnt need counseling, besides he can count cards and has a system and if all else fails he can stop in a.c for a couple of months then go to florida cause the games are easier to beat in a.c. and

you sir arew a degenerate and a moron! leave josie alone and go look for britni

badbilly32 said...

now for a worthwile post, i hope you do well at your tourney!

i will also be pulling for n.e., if for no other reason i detest tim tebow!..i think both g.b. and n.o. could be in trouble this weekend although i think g.b. has a better shot of winning( do not like n.o. outside on the road verse a staunch defense) baltimore should roll!

it warms the cockles of my heart, for the love that you have for sweat pants( you need to embrace hoodies also)

Josie said...

borzi, you really think a pic of the boobs would do it? Hmmm

lightning, yes, I am short and short @#%^

BILLY - no packages for you

sevencard2003 said...

lightning, i didnt want to say this on my blog, but the guys ISP was in sweden, and NOT In las vegas. i didnt want him to realize i knew that. so i never took what he said all that seriously, maybe he just wanted to make me think about why i shouldnt made threats myself when mad. only difference of course is, id never follow up the threats. and i dont like those who think i would. and of course the part on 2+2 about guns and drugs is a joke, otherwise id not be worried about living in the wrong neighborhood. but yeah i dont think he reads this blog most likely only my blog and maybe not regularly since its his only post. so im using this venue to mention his swedish ISP.

Josie said...

lol billy, my new sweats DO have a matching hoodie! you are sweet btw....but still no package. :)

SirFWALGMan said...

..send him a pic of someone elses boobs.. that way you do not have to exploit yourself and he gets free boobs..

Tony is addicted to some bad behaviors. He definitely has the right idea about getting away from slot machines but his chosen vocation - poker - is always going to have him in the midst of those glowing demons...

Perhaps a GA meeting or two might help him.. not sure.. counseling would definitely help him. I understand why he is reluctant and thinks it will not help.. and he could be right... but if he got the right person and could figure out some of the motivations for his behaviors and just talk to someone about his stresses then it probably would help somewhat.

So I think he is in trouble no matter what you do..

sevencard2003 said...

i have no interests in seeing a pic of anyones boobs, thats not what i am interested in. remember i never once spent money going to strip clubs in the last few years. (i did once about 8 yrs ago, a woman ripped me off for $100 who worked there--and since then ive had no interest). only thing i really care about is cutting my costs and coming up with money.

talking to someone does help--is why im so upset Britnis disappeared. i did better the first week when josie checked on me every morning til she stopped this. but what i really need is someone i can phone instantly who wouldnt mind being woken up the minute i get the urge to run to a machine when upset. no one would want to bother with that, even living at donkeytax house would help as far as being away from casinos and having someone to talk to. im a little afraid to anymore now that i hear he carries guns.

KenP said...

Interesting you are a fan of the team your hero (Hoy) calls the NE Cheatriots.

I had a friend that was a compulsive gambler. I tried to help. LOL That doesn't work. Seven step programs work but only after the person accepts he has lost control and hit the bottom. Sad but true.

Josie said...

Ken, I dislike his word for the pats but he won't change it and yes, i've asked him to. What that has to do his skill as poker player I dont know, hence I don't get your point.............. :)

josiesboytoy said...

I never thought I would cheer for any Boston team but I hate that religious wingnut Tebow. Even if there was a higher being do you really think he would give a damn about football. Hell he or she is too busy giving young kids cancer.Sorry thats my rant against organized religion.

Good luck tomorrow Miss Josie. Let the horndogs speculate on how nice your boobs are.

KenP said...

Tom Terrific VS Mediocrity (but religious!)

For my post fantasy football league I need The Pats to win

After a couple of years, it appears roosters inhabit the road's shoulder with their thumbs out -- trying to get to the roost.

Two words:

Josie Jinx!

Josie said...

Ken you disappoint me...believing in jinxes and all.

BoyToy - Go Pats!

KenP said...

You asked Hoy to change his mind?

When did you start chasing one outers?

VegasDWP said...

Josie, you seem like a very nice lady and undoubtedly have nice boobs.

I've tried to help Tony as well, and will probably keep trying until I find a way to penetrate his thick skull.

And ... Pats are gonna stomp Tebow AND Jeezus - by 3 touchdowns.

Josie said...

LOL VegasDWP, you're kinda cute.

Cranky said...

VJ - thought I'd check out your latest post while waiting for Skip's surgery to complete. Is that devotion to your words or what? Anyway ... I am really looking forward to Saturday's games. Maybe the fascination for Tebow will stop when he's playing golf with the rest of the NFL folks whose teams are on vacation.

Jordan said...

I couldn't understand why you were getting so deep down that rabbit hole, VJ. I enjoy reading Tony's blog, but I avoid commenting, because I do not want to get sucked into that vortex. Let's be real. As bloggers and a blogging community, we can pick and choose how involved we get in other people's lives, and I generally choose to keep out of people's affairs. You cannot help the guy; all you are going to do is invest your emotional energy into a losing bet. As self-destructive as Tony is, your aid is its own form of self-destruction. Keep reading, but don't make it your job to fix the guy. It's -EV.

Josie said...

Cranky, hope the surgery goes well and easily.

Jordan, you enjoy reading Tony's blog? Really? That I don't get, but I do get the message you are sending. I'm done trying. I will let Tony do some trying.

Josie said...

It's a shame I have only two settings; sweet as pie or rip your fucking throat out. I'm set on the latter setting in work today. :) There will be a weekend post about this, lol, and it's all about work.

lightning36 said...

Broncos by 2. You heard it here first. Got a direct tip from God.

badbilly32 said...

lol @ only 2 settings...leo's.....

p.c.a. final table live streaming on pokerstars tv.couple good internet pros at the top(faraz jaka/thetoilet, and kyle julius/kjulius) and a girl is in third should be a good f.t.(this is a poker blog right?)

Josie said...

LOL Lightning, Nope, no matter how much you pray.

KenP said...

Poppycock! God doesn't frequent Illinois. Haven't you noticed it getting warmer?

Illinois has Pestilence, War, Famine, and Governor Quin.

Etickets said...


The care package was a nice offer.

I am a big believer in eating healthy though. Some will scoff at this but I believe that if Tony ate healthier (cut out junk food and fried food, cut out soda (even diet soda), eat salads etc) he would find that his compulsions would be greatly reduced. So giving him Burger King and cookies aren't gonna help him.

I would also highly recommend these:,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=930&bih=695&q=gum+soft+picks&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=18341365152146255476&sa=X&ei=NYoQT7iRFI3jrAfswI2MAg&ved=0CJQBEPMCMAA

Etickets said...

The offer of a care package was very thoughtful.

I am a big believer in healthy eating though. Some may scoff at this but I honestly believe that if Tony ate healthier his compulsions would be reduced. He needs to stay away from the junk foods and friend foods and soda (even diet) and incorporate more whole foods (salad, veggies, fruit, beans, nuts, etc) into his diet. More Burger King and cookies are not going to help matters.

Also highly recommend google: "Gem Softpicks"

Josie said...

ET, you make a very good point. Tony is the one who requested the BK gift card. That was not my idea, but his.

Obv Tony has many areas to improve, and his health is certainly one of them. The package was meant as a "carrot" but I feared if it literally contained carrots, it wouldn't serve as an incentive. The point is moot, as I am no longer offering anything.

I wish Tony all the best and hope he does well but I am done trying to fix what only he himself can fix.

Etickets said...

Carrots do work. A couple years back a study was done where they compared offering drug addicts trivial amounts of money vs traditional drug treatment (counseling, group meetings etc). Turns out more addicts stayed sober with monetary rewards than those getting the traditional counseling. Of course this has not translated to any changes since we have a whole industry set up to cater to the notion that psychobabble is the answer.

Josie said...


Funny you should mention that. I read somewhere (dunno where) that at an inner city school children were paid quite well for each good grade they received from a private institution. Their grades skyrocketed and they learned.

Have a good weekend and be sure to catch the Patriots game.

Memphis MOJO said...

You don't treat cancer with a WalGreen gift card and you don't treat an addiction with one, either. Besides, he doesn't deserve your concern.

GL in the tourney. I expect to hear good things.

Zin said...

Well miss josie those were some very nice parting gifts tony would have received if he could have stayed off them machines, but he can't, maybe he needs to talk to Tebow, Lol!
The truth is tony does not stop playing them machines cause he knows he can get government help as soon as he needs the money. Another poor -ev investment from our government.

The playoffs
Saints over the 49ers
Giants over the Cheeseheads
Texans over the Ravens
Patriots over the Broncos

Rob said...

What a great offer to Tony to quit the machines, very generous and supportive of you to offer that. Too bad he didn't take you up. I follow Tony's adventures although it is very sad to see him throw his money down the rathole with those damn machines.

I'm surprised to see Tony say he wouldn't accept your offer if it was a picture of your boobs because, as far as I know, most men will will do pretty much anything for boobs. We are very weak. So poor Tony can resist boobs but not video BJ machines? Interesting.

I have no real emotional investment either way but I would love to see Denver pull off the upset....sorry.

Josie said...

Rob, Tony wants friendship, not a boobie shot....not that I would ever ever do that in a million years anyway. I just like to kid around.

Thanks Mojo - I understand a gift card doesn't magically fix things.

Zin - I hope you're right about all your football predictions!

DuggleBogey said...

Just so you guys know Josie sent me a boobie shot, and all I did was send her a DVD!


Josie said...

Lol hmmm I never sent u anything for that movie, which I enjoyed btw.

Rakewell said...
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