Thursday, April 29, 2010

I feel so satisfied

I played a great fucking game last night called The Dank or The Mookie (depends on who you ask).  87 players.  I lasted about 2 1/2 hrs.  Out 21st.  Normally I'm pissed off when I'm knocked out of a tourney.  But not tonight.  It was too much fun, the players were way cool, and it was such a pleasure to play against a field of that quality.  I'm so satisfied you'd think I was petting the kitty.

As I type this I'm also watching the final table.  Who's left is:

Fmarra17 - That's my boy Frankie - He just doubled up off of Floppy, so he has 56K.

Floppy - He should change his name to Chippy.  He's got the lion's share of them.  He just took out Lorretta who had fishhooks.  Floppy's AK hit a king on the flop and bye bye Loretta.  Floppy has 145K at the moment.

Down to three, Rakewell, Fmarra and Floppy.  Rakewell has 35K...he's at the bottom....correction...he and Frankie are even and Floppy's the chip leader.

Rakewell doubled up when he went all in for over 50K with A8.  Floppy CALLED the ALL IN with 8/5 suited.  I think someone's getting tired.  How do you make a call like that?  If you're embarrassed you could say that you hit the wrong button by accident, but I doubt anyone would believe you.  :)

Rakewell keeps putting pressure on Floppy.  Betting hard and making Floppy deal with tough decisions.  3 handed play and they're all doing it well.  Seems to me that Rake's changed his play...turning aggressive and making continuation bet after continuation bet, and it's paying off.  He's now the chip leader.

It's back and forth between Rake and Floppy.  Fmarra's been playing tight.  Floppy raises and Fmarra goes over the top all in.  Floppy calls and shows ace rag against Frankie's sailboats (pocket 4s).  Floppy hits an ace and Fmarra's out third.

Rake and Floppy heads up and not alot of difference  in their chip stacks.  Floppy has something like 3-6 , hit's a 3 on the flop, and another on the river.  he doubles up and cripples Rake badly.  Next hand Rake is out and Floppy.....dear old lovable Floppy has won The Mookie and a ToC seat.  Yes he got lucky a few times but he played well too.

All I can say is Mazel Tov!

But enough about those dudes, let me tell you about my play.  This is gonna be a long post so get comfy.

I started out with MiamiDon at my table.  I've been a big fan of his blog for years.  Whenever he would post you were pretty much guaranteed an exciting and true story.  You just can't make up shiat like that.  Oh and when he'd get laid, he'd favor us with pics of the lucky ladies (topless).  What more can you ask of a blogger? 

Well guess what?  He says he's writing again!  Best news I've heard in a while. I think we had a LLB but I'm not I owe you something Don?  :)

So I'm playing along and I have NYRambler to my right.  He's an aggressive bastard and it seeems whenever I bet he raises.  I'm trying to play cautious.  I catch AA early on and get a few chips so I'm doing fine.  Then I get 10-10.  5 people limp in for 40 including NYRambler and I raise it up to 320.  Everyone folds but NYR (friggin new yorker)  and the flop is 3-6-7.  I bet pot and he goes over the top all in! 


Why go all in so early in the tourney?  Does he have trips? Is he just being the aggressive bully I suspect he is?  I think I have the best hand but man if I'm out this early I won't hear the end of it tomorrow.  Bottom line is I think he's trying to  push me around so I call and he flips over 6-5suited. 

All in with middle pair....WTF? 

Thankfully he doesn't suck out on me and I double up! 

I play tight aggressive poker.  I get card dead for quite a while but have my patience with me tonight and I'm doing just fine.  Till I get a hand I despise.  A Rag (ace five specifically).  Listen to me very carefully.....


Flop has a 5.  I make a bet on my pair of fives and some fucking villian (does anyone remember who?) calls.  I catch an ace on the river for two pair and the villian gets a straight and doubles up.  :(

But I don't tilt.  I relax....enjoy the game and I'm steady eddy.  Coop gets transferred to my table for a while....Lightning comes does a really cool dude named Jamy.  I really enjoy playing with Jamy but guess what?  The fucker doesn't have me on his blog roll.  Someone oughta fix that. :)  Having a really good time though. 

Coop gets dealt AA and hits trip aces on the flop.  He checks it and gives his opponent a straight.  Trip aces lose and coop's down to 2k....then poof, he's disappeared from my table and pops up at Gary's table.

Gary's hanging in.  He raised with Q-10 in early position.  He got one caller:  Buddy Dank.  Flop was AQQ and before you can say Holy trips batman they are all in and Gary's up against Buddy's KQ....Gary's crushed, or so I thought.  The river brouught a 10 and another Full Tilt suckout.

Gary was like a merry go round after that.  Up and down.  Up and down.  He and Coop were at the same table and both had a less than average stack.  I was keeping an eye on their table and then offered Coop a little incentive....if you take Gary out I'll give you a back rub.  I was just making a funny.  It's an offer I make in live games but damn it worked tonight!  It woke The Banana Man right up and about 5 minutes later Gary was history.  Gary had Ace Rag (no comment) against Coop's AA.  Coop I owe you a back rub!!!!

I think it's very interesting that whenever I offer an incentive to a man he most always rises to the occasion and wins the prize.  Real men rise to the occasion.

Speaking of rising to the occasion there's this guy Lightning.  For a change he has a helluva post up called Just HAVE to check it out.

Now let's have a little are some of the guys that I lasted long than:
Buddy Dank,
NY Rambler,
 Lucki Duck,
Riggs :P,
The Banana Man,
JamyHawk (toldya so!) among others. 

Ahhhh I told you I was satisfied, didn't I?  Mmmm if I smoked, I'd light one right now.

Play smart.


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'm So Excited!

Okay this isn't a picture of me, it's a picture of Rachel Ray.  Don't want you guys to think I'm trying to pull the wool over your eyes.  Yes, I know I'm not as hot as she is, but I have been told that I look like her.

Guess what?  I'm even more excited than she looks!

Wanna know why?

The awesome guys from Poker From The Rail invited me to the BBT5 Invitationals!  It is invitation only, the entries are FREE and top TWO places get a TOC seat, plus cashola.

I was going to copy and paste the entire email here, but I dunno if that would upset them (sometimes I upset people...go figure).  Instead I'll just show you a tiny excerpt from this very nice man's email:

I checked out your blog. I agree, it is pretty damn cool. We'd love to have you in the "Invitational." What's your Full Tilt name? I'll add it to the list.

Woo Hoo!

Isn't he a sweetheart?  He was looking at my blog today, and unfortunately I just realized that I referred to Full Tilt as FFT (Fucking Full Tilt) on today's post.  Probably not the best way to make friends but those guys at Poker From the Rail don't scare easily.

It's this Sunday night at 7:00pm ET and the next few Sunday nights after that too.  If you've got nothing to do Sunday night, feel free to watch Mama in action.

I guess Ms. Harriet Beecher Stowe was right, after all. 

BTW I'm playing The Mookie tonight, and guess what?  I made some phone calls and the home game is on too.  Who says I can't multi-task?  Besides The Mookie starts at 10pm and the home game ends at 10:30pm, not really THAT much overlap.

Play smart.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Betting it all on Schaubs and hanging by a thread

Yesterday I worked an 11 hr day.  If you add the commute, well it just gets sad. No rest for the wicked.  Of course I did have last Thursday and Friday off, but that seems like such a distant memory now. 

Today is sure to be more of the same.  I've got too much to do and not enough time to do it in, but goddamn it I'm going to try.  I have some of my financials done and a management meeting at 8:30 where I have to explain that we've lost money again. 

I'm writing this at about 4am.

My plan is to go in super-duper early and get everything finished right before the meeting.  I suppose I could've stayed a little longer last night but I get to a point where I just can't look at numbers with efficiency and accuracy anymore.  That's when it's time to go home.

(I'm sure I'm boring you to death with this work stuff, but if you keep reading we'll get to my bet with Schaubs)

Then after that I have a BOD (board of directors) lunch meeting at noon.  There I'll make a financial presentation, and then get kicked out so they can make their decisions in private and eat lunch.  Our fiscal year ends May 31st and that means I'm in "cash plan" mode.  If this were like years past, the end of fiscal year would mean BONUS TIME.  It's the time to reward great employees like me because if they didn't unload the money, it would just go to taxes.  It's always been a matter of how much, not a matter of whether or not I'd get one but this year looks so dismal, I'm not holding my breath.

Well maybe I'm holding my breath a little.  Last week the owner stopped by to chat....I dunno what kind of kiss assy thing I said, but his response was "Oh it's that time of year.  You're working on your bonus, huh?"


I wasn't working on my bonus cuz in my mind there's no money for bonuses.....but I think the owner showed a tell!  Of course my hand is like a 10-2 off suit.  But just ask Doyle....sometimes those hands win.

Anyway enough of shop talk, let's talk about poker and FFT (Fucking Full Tilt).

As you know I played 3 sit 'n goes with some blogging buddies Sunday night and lost them all.  I just checked my balance and I have a whopping $28 left.  Dammit!

I am playing The Mookie Wednesday night so deduct $11.  And I have a side bet on The Mookie with Schaub-a-licous.  Whoever lasts longer wins a Mookie buy-in for the next one.  I plan on being tighter than Willie Nelson's headband.

The way I've been playing online, I need to keep an $11 balance just in case I should lose to Schauby.

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

Further proof that I'm a dork.  Inspirational quotes really do inspire me.  I have them hanging in my office and when times get tough they sooth and strengthen me.

If Ms. Harriet Beecher Stowe is right, it's time for the tide to turn.  Cuz baby, it sure seems like a tight place.

Play smart.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Frankly My Dear....

....Frank won.

Me and my boys, Frankie, G-Man (Gary is no longer Jew Boy, G-Man it is!) and Lucki Duck played some poker last night and it wasn't pretty.

It was just bad beat, after bad beat, after bad beat.  And I'm not just saying that because I lost. 

We played (3) one table games.

Game 1 - $11+1 (9) person turbo
Lucki Duck didn't make it on time to get in on this game.  I guess he is lucky!  Frankie, Gary and I were out on bad beats....please don't ask me to remember them! No one cashed.

Game 2 - $5+.50 (9) person
Lucki Duck was out early when his pocket aces were cracked by pocket queens.  Duck raised, and the bad guy re-raised to 510 chips.  I was next with pocket nines, which I folded....then the two of them were all in.

Flop was 2,9,10....I would've flopped trips!  Turn was a Q, trips for the bad guy.  River was a J and Duck's goose was cooked.

Gary was doing fine chipwise, but called a big raise with Jack Ten.  Flop was 10, rag, rag.....all in, and his opponent had an ace, which turned into a pair of aces on the turn.  Bu-bye G-man.

I saw alot of bad beats so I dunno which happened here, but rest assured I didn't cash.

Frankie came in 3rd....only one of us good guys in the money.

Game 3 - $5+.50 (9) Person
It sucked!  My only bad play of the night was my last one.  Calling an all in against a guy who had two pair....and I had middle pair.  Really dumb, but at that point I had so many terrible beats I was frustrated.  Plus the flop was 8 high and thought I was okay.  Then G-man was out, and then the Duck....again just horrible beats. 

Frankie held on and played steady solid he had me to keep him company and urge him on.  I tend to be a good luck charm....he was a little shortstacked but doing fine.

Then they were down to two, so I wanted to offer Frankie extra incentive to win it outright.  Hmmmm, I racked my brain thinking what carrot can I offer?????  Came up with my good home cooking, but he's too far away.  Thought of a few other things too, but he's so young.  I can't corrupt him.  Then I thought of it!

My write up!  A favorable write up by Very Josie!  Who wouldn't want that! It obviously did the trick because Frankie won first place in game 3.  If he didn't I would've hit him with a hanger. ;)

Frankie was the hands down winner, and he's my winning horse for the next Very Josie, might I add.

Fun freaking time.  It cost me $24 for the fun time, but it was totally worth it.  I just feel bad for the 5 other guys at the table who had to endure my presence long after I was knocked out.

If any of you guys can offer details of your demise, or details in general, please comment, as I need the help.

I'm heading for bed.  I have to be in work at 8:30am and damn I'm tired.

Nice, nice guys....all of you.

Sweet dreams.


Sunday, April 25, 2010

I'm a Cougar!

Remember I made those basketball cakes for my friend's son who was turning 13?  Well I was just chatting with his YOUNGER brother who I think is about 10 yrs old.  All I can say is 10 yrs old or 50 yrs old, you guys are all alike.

I copied our facebook chat and it's below.  Please enjoy.  Keep in mind that whenever I see him I always spend about a half hour chasing him around the house, trying to get a kiss.

9:47amMe: Give me a kiss!

9:47amBrian: no

9:47amMe:  Come on!  If I was in 5th grade you would!

9:47amBrian:  no

Me:  how bout a hug?

9:48amBrian:  no

9:48amMe:  a virtual high five?

9:48amBrian:  no

Me:  Mean!  A handshake?

9:48amBrian:  no

Me:  you owe me!

9:49amBrian:  no

9:49amMe:  remember all the times you used to hit me in the butt?  you need to give me a kiss for every time!

9:50amBrian:  no

9:51amMe:  Hmmm do you say anything but NO?

9:51amBrian:  hi

Me:  LOL okay that's a start

9:51amBrian:  lol

9:52amMe:  You should practice you're running, next time I see you I'm catching you!

9:52amBrian:  no

Me:  Um yes I am, and then I'm TICKLING you!

9:53amBrian:  i am faster than u

9:54amMe:  What?????? That can't be!  Can it? Aren't you still 5 years old? :P

Brian:  yeah it can be and im not 5 years old

9:56amMe:  lol

9:56amBrian: lol

9:56amMe:  I gotta go! Bye! :* xoxoxoxoxo

Story of my life!


Easy Money!

Me and my boy Frankie (the friggin' New Yorker lol) are playing a single table on full tilt tonight at 9pm ET.  It's a $10+1 game.

And guess who else is playing?  Jew Boy! (Gary)

I've also sent invitations to DB Cooper and Lucki Duck, but they're wicked old, so who knows if they have the energy to play with me.

So the young guys (younger than me anyway), Frankie and Jew Boy are definites.

And old guys, Coop and Ducky, check out the invites I sent you and let me know. 

And yeah Ducky I'm assuming you're older than me, which makes you very old, like Coop.

I'll be blogging about the game while Duck hunting!

Play smart.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Josie in the 80's! (No Poker Content)

Here are some pictures of me from the 80's!  These photos are not the greatest quality.  Clicky on the photo to see it better.

That's me in the center in the blue top with my cousins.  1985

Josie in 1990....but it sure looks like the 80's doesn't it?  LOL

Me at Disney 1989

Well there you have it!  I've aged like a fine Italian wine. ;)


Playing Online

Is it me, or is it everyone else?  Who's fault is it?  I hate fucking online poker, yet that's what's available.  Someone called online poker "methadone" for poker addicts and dammit I can't find a better metaphor than that.  Ever see someone on methadone....walking zombies.  I've been "lucky" enough to see plenty of them.

I commute into Boston daily for work and there's a methadone clinic next to my T-Stop.  One day I was waiting for my bus and had time to pop into the coffee shop and there were people outside the door begging for money with a dazed look on their faces....more inside the coffee shop, all walking zombies engaged in serious profound conversations, but not really being able to talk.

They were everywhere!

I started noticing a pattern.  I saw more of them when I left work early (talk about using negative reinforcement to keep me in work).  And they all looked like they just shot up or something.  Not easy people to look at, nor do you want to make eye contact anyway.  Most missing front teeth, battered and bruised.  The women were tarted up something awful, but not looking good if you catch my drift...looking diseased and tarted up at the same time.  Not a winning combination. 

And I have a problem with homeless people asking me for money.  I give it to them.  Especially women.  I know, I know....give a drunk money and he'll buy booze and ditto for drugs.  But man, it's fucking cold in Boston in the winter, and if that drunk needs a bottle to keep him warm, well I'm thinking he needs my dollar more than I do.

Don't get me wrong.  I've wrestled with this alot.  I used to give out Mickey D's value meals in lieu of giving a buck.  Once, years ago, (maybe 15 years ago) I gave the winter coat off my back to a woman in the street.  Yes, I did! and getting home was fucking cold (I'm always cold unless it's 90 degrees). 

As I've gotten older I've reeled it in, but yeah if you're looking for a buck on the street, I'm the chick to ask.  But the walking zombies, they don't get a dime from me...and that's saying something.  I just don't want the eye contact and there's too many of them and one of me.  So I have to say "No" which is really hard for me to do.  If you ever dated me in the eighties, you'd know that. ;)

But back to online poker and the zombies who play that. 

I have far greater success in live tournaments so in the past few months I've played less and less online stuff.  The crazy bad beats get to me as do the crazy calls.  My mind still says to me, if you can do it live, why not online?

Live has so much more information there for the picking.  Tells and patterns just waiting for the observant person to pick them up.  Then there's the female thing.  I ain't no model and don't garner alot of attention ANYWHERE except at a poker table.  When I'm playing in a tournament I'll have men stopping by periodically to check out my stack (OF CHIPS!) they'll be discussing my every move and I don't know if this happens to you, but 75% of the time I play a tournament, men will congratulate me on my play and tell me what a great player I am. People stop by and shake my hand. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

So why can't I do the same thing online?  Is it me, or is it them?  Does the anonymity of online play breed bad play?  Does it breed bad calls that you'd be too embarrassed to make live?  Are the trillion bad beats indicative of a corrupt game site?  Do I play looser online?  Bluffing is pretty much out the window online, although I use that bullet only once per tourney.

I don't know, but I'm telling you now that I'm making it my business to find out.

I played 3 games tonight.  First one was a tournament and I was out before the blinds went up.  1,500 starting chips and the first hand I played was A-J suited.  I called a raise and the flop was J-4-2.  I bet pot and got called.  Plenty o chips in the pot now.  Turn was a 7 I bet half pot and most of my chips are in there.  He has 250 less than me and goes all in.  I'm worried he has trips (trip 4s or dueces) but I call.  He has A-10.

Yup, fucking Ace Ten.  Brilliant call on my part.....until the river, which is an ace and buh-bye.

So I play a 9 person one table and I came in 2nd.  Decent play and decent reward.  Okay!

Game 3 - Tight, smart, playing.  No fucking around and I'm doing great.  I have about 2,200 in chips after 20 minutes and they increase bit by bit.  Doing just great.  Down to 4 players and I get K-K and I bet 5 times the blind.  Big blind calls me and the flop is Q-4-4.  He checks and I check.  Turn is a 10.  I bet pot and he calls!  I figure him on a Q.  Don't think he'd call that much with a 10.  River is an Ace and he goes all in.  I FOLD.  He shows his Jack/Ten.  Argh!!!!  My fault for giving him the free turn card.  His fault for thinking it was good, my fault for agreeing with him.

I ended up bubble.

So we have 2 losses and a 2nd place finish.....which puts me about even for the night and I don't dare play another.  God only knows what could happen....but I have to practice up so I'll be at it again soon enough.

I know a couple of young guys that want a chance to take my money.  One's a Canadian and one's New Yorker.  How can I say no?

I don't know that the New Yorker necessarily wants to take my money so much as play poker with me.  But come on, why do we play poker?  TO WIN MONEY.  Well that's not the entire reason.....

And the Canadian boy - he wants my money fo' sho'....maybe a little too much!  It's the reason he's playing!  He wants Auntie Josie to foot his Mookie buy-in!  As if that'd happen!

So if it isn't just to win money, why do we play poker?  I can speak for myself and tell you why I want to play against the Canadian.  It's not to win money, IT'S TO WIN.  The money's a nice bonus, but I like winning, plain and simple.

Game is on Wednesday night and I'll be ready.  If you're looking for my write up Thursday morning and you're having trouble finding my blog, well just click on Schaubs' blog.  You'll find Very Josie on his blog roll, where I belong.

Play smart,


Friday, April 23, 2010

I'm Famous! - RE -Edited!!! Lightning36, I fixed it!

I popped up (like a woody) on this guy's poker blog.  His name is Schaubs.  I had to read his post 3-4 times to determine if I was mentioned in a positive or negative way.  My final answer is.....all publicity is good publicity.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Unless I'm mistaken the tone of it is if players like Josie are in the game, well sign me up.  I can beat her like a red-headed stepchild!  I don't blame him.  If I was watching me play The Mookie, I'd think the same thing.

Who the hell is this guy anyway?  Well here's what I know:

  • He's Canadian DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.  We'll summarize this as  "Strike One"
  • He's a friend of Waffles.......I have theories about that too, but I'll leave it alone.
  • He's a decade younger than Very Josie.  I betcha $5 that when he plays poker it's with sunglasses on and likely a baseball cap too.  Oh and he has a couple of "cool" tattoos.  Am I right?
  • He plays golf.  Interesting!  That means he doesn't mind playing a game that he sucks at!  Does this mindset follow for poker too?  I dunno YET.
  • He has himself a pretty good poker blog that's actually about POKER.
Yes, this is a new world's record.  Three posts in one day.  None of them have any real poker content...but that's what lucky #4 is.

Lightning36 (great dad & hubby) with The Poker Brat

Oh, and I'm thinking about taking some money from one of my readers, Frankie.  To do this, I have to give him my cell phone number so we can text prior to a game.  Should I do this or am I asking for trouble?  Of course, there's nothing wrong with a little trouble.

Play smart.


Rants by Josie

What's this?  Two posts in one morning?  Why it's unheard of, but here it is.  I have to vent about the assholes I surround myself with and what better forum than this!

Let's back track to Wednesday.  Wednesday I get called a "man" (among other things) but things get resolved and I'm back to my happy clam status.  Jew Boy wrote a nice comment sexual orientation I suppose, showing he's got my back. 

Well Wed night is my home game.  Game starts at 7:30pm and Jew Boy's there....and guess what he does?  CALLS ME A DUDE ALL NIGHT LONG.  I can't even remember the comments.  Maybe I blocked them out....they all boiled down to one thing....I have a dick.  Sheesh, with friends like that....

*Editor's Note:  Don't forget that I promised to be nice to him for an entire week.  So I couldn't even respond as I would have liked.

Let's see what else?

I had yesterday off for the first time in a long time.  My boss, who's a little too clingy, wrote me an email at 10am yesterday morning. You can see it below:

Good morning my dear Josie,

Please accept my apology for not wishing you a Happy Administrative Professionals day yesterday. Thanks for everything you do for me, personally and professionally. I hope you know how much I appreciate you. Let's do lunch. Have wonderful longgggggg weekend.

For the record, I am NOT an adminstrative professional, which is a secretary! If I were one, I'd be happy to be called one BUT I'M NOT.  WTF!  Now it seems I have to have lunch with him....which suits him, not me.  He'll insist on taking me to lunch every couple of months, and yes it's always a nice free meal but I have to spend it with him.  Just him and me.  No thank you.  I'd rather eat my salad with my friends during my hour off.  And he gets a free lunch too.  I reimburse him for the whole thing.  Obviously all work related lunches are expensed.

Let's see what else?  After that I notice Coop playing a 9 person on Full Tilt.  I leave him a comment telling him I want to play at a table with him if he's got time cuz I've got a score to settle (I want my 5 bucks back)   and sure he does!  So as soon as we're at the table I send him a message like this "We're playing for my 5 bucks, I want it back."

And he says "Nope".  WTF!

I say "Why do you think I wanted to play in a one table with you?  To win my money back!"

And he's like "Noooooo I'm keeping your money.  I'm too old and decrepid to work, so that 5 bucks has to last until the canadian government sends me my monthly stipend of $9."  (maybe he didn't say EXACTLY that but it boiled down to the same thing)  No bet.

And then COOP IS OUT FIRST. And of course I WIN THE WHOLE SHEBANG.  First place baby, but no bet.

And you wonder why I got so upset being called a dude.  Just look at those 3 fine examples!

Play smart Bitches!


The Mookie: Fuggedaboutit

No one's playing The Mookie anymore.  Don't let that showing of 120 people this week fool you.  Hell, not even Mook  plays it.  But do you know what Mook DOES PLAY?

Very Josie Poker!

Okay, so I'm just full of shit.  But if he knew about it, I'd bet he'd play.

Very Josie, a fun and profitable MTT will be held on THE FIRST WEDNESDAY of EVERY MONTH at 9:00pm ET. Below is a schedule of dates when the tourney will be held.

May 5
June 2
July 7
August 4
September 1
October 6
November 3
December 1

And yeah, I know the tournament in May will be in direct competition with BBT5....that means if you play the Mookie, as a bonus, the winner gets a ToC seat.  Do  you really think I can't compete with that?

Let's not forget that at the first Very Josie GoBurn1 got a bonus calzone for doing my bidding.  I just got around to making it last night.  See below:

Calzone by Josie

Okay, maybe it's yumminess is lost in the photo, but it tastes better than it looks.  It's filled with alot of Italian deli meats and cheese.

Kinda makes you want to play Very Josie, doesn't it?  May 5 at 9:00pm ET.  Oh and I'm 2 for 2 picking my winning horses for this event.....and certain to be 3 for 3.....I already have an inkling who the winner is going to be, and no one's even entered yet.  Yes, I am THAT good.

Seriously, it's the most fun you can have with your clothes on.....hmmm gives me an idea.....

Last time I played a drinking game during Very Josie, but it lead to my demise after playing so well for two hours....but clothing removal....that shouldn't effect MY play. ;)

Play smart and play with me.  Very Josie, Wednesday, May 5 at 9:00pm ET.


PS.....See the title of the post?  I'm watching an old Sopranos episode.  Love it!  Tony would appreciate my calzone! *Editor's Note:  And I would appreciate Tony's calzone.  Always had a thing for him.....there's something about him.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I better get this done and over with

I suck.  I played The Mookie last night with over 115 other players, and I played very badly.  NY Rambler kept putting pressure on me and I think I folded the best hand twice....just didn't want to call an all in and be out so soon.  Don't forget my side bet with DB Cooper aka Old Man.

So yeah I was out first, and I went out with my favorite hand; jack ten suited.  After the turn I had a flush draw and an open ended straight draw so I called two all in bets AND I LOST.  What a donk move.  I was on tilt and just didn't play well.

I owe Poop Coop $5 for our side bet.  Full Tilt won't let me transfer it until Coop completes ALL of  his address details....hold on, lemme try again...It just went through.  :(  Taking money from a sweet, innocent young woman.  I don't know how he sleeps at night. *sigh*

Onto better news....I have tomorrow and Friday off.  No work till next Monday!  How cool is that!  Although I set up some meetings that I usually run for tomorrow and told the PM's and prinicpals to go ahead and meet without me.  I dunno how THAT is going to work....I just may go in at noon....I dunno.  I do know they don't expect me so don't say anything. ;)

Instead I could always get out my poker uniform......go to the Seabrook Poker Room........Hmmmmm.

Josie & The PussyCats

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

All Better Now!

Boy was I upset this morning, but I'm all better now.  The guy who wrote the untrue stuff about me sent me a really nice honest email and we're cool. 

He said he reconsidered all the stuff he said about me and apologized for jumping to conclusions. What more could I ask?  Takes a decent guy to say that after the nasty insults I hurled at him at Waffles blog.

So we are VERY cool and he says he'll even play Very Josie!!!  You can bet I'll be on my best least for the first 10 minutes!

Oh, and he's from NY.  No, I didn't ask him if he was a Yankee fan, but I think we can assume he is.

Coop!!! Time to wake up from your nap!!!!  My goal tonight isn't to outlast Coop, it's to take down The Mookie.   Nothing less will do.  God help whoever's in my way.  Please feel free to watch but I won't be as chatty as usual.

Play Smart and Confident, LIKE ME.


Good morning! One more thing....Josie Trivia

One thing I forgot to mention.  As soon as I settled in my seat, next to my buddy, they played MY SONG in it's entirety in the Garden.  How rare and cool is that?

Any song that starts with the word "Josie" is a fave of mine....lyrics are below.  Yes, it's an old song, but so am I.  Do you know it?  Name the song and the artist!

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older

I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night but keep it undercover

I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Trying to stop my hands from shakin'
Somethin' in my mind's not makin' sense
It's been a while since we were all alone
I can't hide the way I'm feelin'

As you leave me please would you close the door
and don't forget what I told you
Just 'cause you're right - that don't mean I'm wrong
Another shoulder to cry upon

I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Play smart and confident!


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bruins Play-Off Game

I went to the Boston Bruins - Buffalo Sabres playoff game with JB last night.  Now I don't know anything about hockey so I can't report too much about the actual game except for the basics like THE BRUINS WON!!!!

I finally met up with JB and we went to a deli kiosk so JB could get a corned beef sandwich *gag*.  While waiting for his sandwich this guy started talking to me....a guy from New York.  So of course I had to ask him the question I ask all New Yorkers..."Are you a Yankees fan?"

He hesitated.....definitely didn't want to answer, and then finally admitted, yep, he's a Yankee fan.  Of course my next question was "Are you a vice president?"  LOL I shiat you not, that's what I asked him!  Gary started cracking up and Mr. Yankee said "No, I'm not a VP but I am a blah blah blah..."  I tried to seem interested and polite but I dunno what he said. 

EVP, guys weren't at the Bruins game last night were you? ;)

So, we get to our seats which are center ice but really high up, and right next to me is a woman (questionable) who is a HUGE Bruins fan and she's leaning over my lap talking to the guy next to Gary.  When there was a break in the conversation I offered to switch seats with her so she could be closer to her friend.  She freaks out and says "No!!!!!  I've been watching the Bruins all year from this seat, I can't change my seat now!!!".   Okay!!!

The game started and it was loud.  Really loud.

Oh, wait a minute.  Here's a picture of me and my playoff ticket!

So the game starts and my neighbor is a loud mother fucker.  Chanting "Puck Support! Puck Support!" over and over again.  She must've screamed it 500 times.  I don't even know what that means.  In my mind I'm picturing a hockey puck in a jock strap, but I'm probably wrong.  Of course that doesn't stop me from chanting it along with her.  And instantly I have myself a buddy.

We're screaming "Puck Support" together and then she stops and changes to "We need a fight.  That's what they need to get them going.  We need a fight!"

Now remember I know nothing about hockey, but I do pick things up here and there, so while she's screaming we need a fight, I say to her, with an air of authority "They probably won't fight tonight because it's a playoff game".  Coop told me that and I figure it's a true statement.

Crazy lady looks at me like I'm crazy, LOL, and retorts with something like "They won't hold back.  Patrice will fight.  You're wrong!" (Thanks ALOT Coop)  And that pretty much ended our relationship right there.  Gary said she played for the other team, and I'm not talking about hockey.

Time for another picture!  Coop, look what's hanging in The Boston Garden:

Yep, a Canadian fricking flag.  I guess they'll hang just about anything in The Garden. :)

Crazy lady was right, and more importantly, Coop was wrong.  There was alot of fighting at the game.  And while they fight the refs just stand around them and watch.  WTF!  I think once one of the punchers falls to the ice then the refs step in.

For you hockey fans, the scoring went something like this:  First the Sabres scored, then the Bruins scored and then the Bruins scored AGAIN.  They won 2-1.

The bad news is I didn't get on the Jumbotron.  Oh well.  They did put all the marathon runners in the audience up on the Jumbotron, but no one confused me with one of them!  I thought there was a camera to my right so I was waving at it until JB pointed out that it was a spot light, not a camera. LOL

In other news (yes this is a long post.  worth the wait, no?)  I have meticulously tallyed the votes for Very Josie Poker and I'm going to leave it EXACTLY where it is.  Wednesdays at 9:00pm ET.  The first Wednesday of every month to be exact.

Now the readers over at Waffles blog think I should skip the first one in May because I'll be in competition with BBT5.  In fact someone very classy suggested no one would play Very Josie Poker unless....well never mind.  I ain't skipping shit.  First Wednesday of EVERY MONTH including May.

I understand the BBT5 is a big thing so I don't expect many players and that's cool.  But if you wanna play with me, well I'll be posting more info as well as a schedule of tournament dates in the near future.

Hmmm what else?  Tomorrow night I'll be playing The Mookie at 10pm ET.  I have a little bizness with a certain BALD man that needs to be taken care of.  He seems to think I'm a secretary, which is the WORST thing to call me.  And not only that but he's underestimated my talent at the felt so he has a false sense of security.  Suits me just fine.

Play smart and with confidence!


Tune in tonight

For my post.  Too busy in work today!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Very Josie Poker - Looking for Input

Very Josie Poker, the hottest blogger tournament since The Mookie, is the game you should be playing. 

For now Very Josie Poker is going to be a monthly tournament, which I propose to be the first Wednesday of every month. Wednesdays starting at 9:00pm ET.

But I want to hear from you!  What day and what time works best for you?  The more fishies  experienced poker players, the better.

Please comment and tell me when you can make it.  Majority rules!  This is a by a queen, you know.  ;)

I will tally the votes and post the final Very Josie Poker schedule.

Have you played my little tourney yet?  If not, just try it once and you'll be back.  All I do is chat and's easy money for the taking.

Full disclosure - The drinking was an experiment that failed .  Do not expect it to happen again.....unless I lose a bet.  :)

Happy Patriots Day my friends!  There's a little race being run not to far from my office....there's also a ball game going on too, but those damn Red Sox are trying my patience and I will NOT be commenting about THEM.

Play smart (unlike the sox).


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Thoughts about yesterday

When some people (like Phil Hellmuth) lose a tournament it's a donkey's "fault".  They think they lost because their opponent made a loose call or didn't play correctly.  This kind of thinking is ridiculous.

I never think that way.  When I lose a tournament (like yesterday) I review all my moves post mortem (that's medical talk for my new reader, Dr. Chako!) to see how I could improve my play. 

I mentioned the two critical hands that were my demise yesterday and I've been reviewing my thinking on them.  First one was having Q-8 spades in the big blind, and no raise preflop.  I flopped a flush, with big and got called by Ms. Ace. I don't think I did anything wrong there!  Turn was the king of spades.  I KNEW that was bad for me. 4 spades on the board means one card can beat me, that Ace.

I make another bet to see where I am and Ms. Ace raises me.  What does that tell me?  She has the goddam ace!  Yet I call (first bad move).  It's hard to lay down 2nd best flush but I should've. (that's pride fucking with me).  River is a non card and since I'm a scaredy cat I check and she bets 2,000.  Now I KNOW I'm beat, but I think about it and talk myself into with the following reasoning:
  • maybe it isn't the ace of spades that she has. 
  • maybe she's trying to buy the pot because I checked. 
  • there's alot of money in the pot....2,000 chips to pick up maybe 7,000
All stupid reasons.  If she didn't have the ace she wouldn't be re-raising me.  Trust me, she's a barely adequate player and all the players there don't tangle with me (especially when I'm betting out) unless they've got the nuts.  The guy to my left announced about 10 times, I'm not calling any pot that Josie is in....Yes, I've left an impression there.

Also, that last reason - the money in the pot...pot odds.  I don't like calling because of pot odds.  It's good to know where you are, but my theory is there could be a gazillion chips in the pot, but chips in the pot doesn't turn your hand into a winning hand.  It doesn't matter how much is in the pot if you've got a losing hand you need to lay it down.  I didn't follow my usual advice.

One final thought.  If you've been reading along you know that I'm a studier of tells, and use them in my live play all the time.  Tells are a critical part of my success (yeah sometimes I have success).  The tells I use have to do with glancing, breathing patterns, blinking patterns, talking loudly, softly, making speeches, etc. 

One of the easiest tells to use aren't any of those things, and it's usually quite effective.  When your opponent makes a bet and is waiting for you to call or fold, take a look at him, a good look, and ask yourself this:  Does he look like a winner or a loser?  That's it!  It's really very effective!  Someone who doesn't want a call starts to look miserable while he's waiting, a winner starts to look cocky like "come on, call me" and of course some people stare off into space and try to show nothing.  They won't talk, glance or any of that stuff....but ask yourself that question again "Does he look like a winner or a loser", and you'll find that answer within just have to listen.

So let's go back to that gorgeous picture of Mary:

Does she look like a winner?

The answer is No.  Does she look like a chain smoker?  I say I can see the effects of smoking on her face, but that's not what this post's about. 

I snapped this picture while she was in a hand that she later folded.  Not that she looks like Princess Di when she's winning but she has a glow in her eyes when she has a good hand that's very absent here.

What I like to do when I'm NOT in a hand, but observing players going at it, is ask myself "Does he look like a winner?" and I make my guess and get to see if I'm right.  Practice, practice, practice!

Editor's Note:  I talked to Cancer Al today.  He and Mary chopped first and second.  Then they went to some casino where there is only slot machines and they lost EVERY penny in the slot machines.  $500!  Every penny of both of their cashes.  That just REALLY pisses me off....I no likey slot machines.
Play smart.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Beaten and Traumatized

Yep, that's me!

At this moment Gary's still playing the tournament and I am home typing this.  Oh the injustice of it all!

I started out so well too!

But guess who was sitting at my table?  Yup, both Dave (big shot) and his sister Lisa, plus Lisa's husband who I've played with once before and was not impressed by.  Also, there's a couple of donks and Mary.

This is Mary:

Mary is the lady friend of Cancer Al.  She's a timid player but the Poker Gods were smiling on her today.

I wouldn't mind but the tourney started so well for me.  While the blinds were still 50/100 I was in dealer position and dealt myself Q-8 suited, so I called.  The blinds checked and we looked at a flop, which was A-8-8.

Guy in first position bets 200, BB calls and I bump it to 500.  These guys are calling stations so there's no need to slow play.  First guy folds and BB raises 1,000 on top.  I took him out of the last tourney, and I know he's a horrible player but I figure he has an 8 too.  I have a Q kicker and I like it.....figure he'd never fold with a weak kicker cuz he's a calling station, so I go all in!

He calls......I'm a little worried but tell myself odds are I have the best kicker.  He turns over A-7.  Yes he called an all in with 2 pair weak kicker.  What a bad call, but I'm thrilled!  I have a little less than him so he's down to like 200 in chips and Mama's the chip leader!

Cancer Al is at the other table along with Gary and he yells to me "Hey Josie is there a back-rub bounty on Gary today?"  So of course I say yes! The bounty is on!

Playing along at my table, I'm in the big blind with Q-8 suited spades.  I check it and the flop is J-10-3 ALL SPADES.  I make a big bet and Mary calls.  Turn is the King of Spades.  Fuck!  I bet and Mary raises.  I have the open ended royal flush draw and with my queen the only card that can beat me is the ace of spades so I call.  Rivers a non card, I check, she bets.....and I KNOW she has that damn ace but I call anyway and donk off a bunch of chips.

Playing along for another hour and cannot get a hand and then I look down at AK.  I need to double up, but I know I'll get called with these players so I'm cautious.  I make a bet to 5 times the big blind and I get two callers.  Flop is A-4-7 rainbow.  That's all I need to know.

I make my move All In!

Mary instacalls and turns over pocket 4's; she has trips, and I'm out! I cannot fucking believe it but that's poker.  I call her a bitch a couple of times and tell her she's going to bear the brunt of my anger for the rest of the day.   Then I say I guess I'll go rub your boyfriend's back now!  LOL Alot of laughs at the table as I do just that.....Cancer Al moans at all the right times (he's at a different table) and whenever she turns I say "don't you look, you're busy playing with my chips!" (on a sad note, though Al has beaten his battle with cancer for the moment, it has left him without the use of his tree, if you catch my meaning). It's so sad...and he's not that old either. :( So if that guy wants a back rub, he's gonna goddam get one.  The cancer was in his legs and moved up to his groin. I really don't know how old he is but if I had to guess I'd say 55-58 yrs old.

Anyway, I've got nothing better to do so I take some pictures.  I look like crap in all of them, but I'll show you a couple.  It's my motto to only post attractive pictures of myself but what the hell.

This is Mary, Dave and Steve (Lisa's hubby)

You'll soon see that I'm NOT wearing a lowcut top at this game.  I had on a super low one with a little cardigan on top (i'm always cold) but when Gary showed up at my house he said "Holy shit, I see you're in your poker uniform."  And for some reason I decide to change and put on a t-shirt instead.  I think I feel more confident when the guys are looking at me instead of their cards, but maybe this top was a little too low.  No pictures of the super low cut top - and you can blame Gary for that....but maybe it was too much.

I went from looking hot to looking schlumpy because of Gary.
(this pic kind of gives you an idea of my big ass "junk in the trunk" issue but you'll never see it again)

Guess who just walked through the door!  Why it's Jew Boy! He had a ton of chips when I left (hee hee) but here he is.  Sounds like his demise was a 7-10.  Flop was 7-8-9. No, he wasn't shortstacked but for some reason he pushed all in (bottom pair, open ended straight draw) Cancer Al called him with pocket 7's - trips!
Gary says they had almost the same amount of chips and Gary was left with one white chip (100).  He turned it into 2,000 before he was taken out.

Couple more items, worthy of note: 

  • They all smoke AT THE TABLE...and as I write this I reek of it.  Must take a shower! (but Jew Boy's here)

  • There was a scratch ticket bounty, not that I got any, but Jew Boy did and won $60!

  • Lisa did not disappoint.  She was away from the table and her stack of chips keeled over.  A couple of guys went to save them and then hopped away like their hands were on fire....she ran over yelling "Did anyone touch them????"  To which they all said "NO!!!!"  Then I said but your hubby touched them...and made them knock over (he didn't, I'm just mean)...and he started protesting...I didn't, I didn't!  LOL  Then she went onto tell me how lucky he is.  He is so lucky, in fact, that before she plays a game online, she makes him sit in the chair for 5 minutes so the luck rubs off on her.  Not too superstitious, is they?


Dave (cool poker player) and Josie (very josie)

That's all I've got to report kiddos.  Now I must go and curl into a fetal position.  And if that Goddam Jew ever leaves, I'll be washing the stink ofcigarettes off me.

Play smart my dears.


Editor's Note:  Jew Boy has indeed just left, but not before losing a little money to me.  We played 3 heads-up games and I won 2 of 3!

I might be in trouble

Saugus Sportman's Club Tourney starts in about an hour.  You know how I told you how these guys can't play?  Well I  never told you about this guy named Dave.

Dave is younger than me (a little), a vice president of a local bank, and a really good poker player.  He used to always show up to these events and go fishing.  The difference between him and me is he plays high stakes games at Foxwoods, Vegas and online.  Really high stakes.  He's won a ton of money but I suspect he's lost a bunch too.

I think he stopped showing up because this was too small for him, but I just heard that he's playing today and so is his sister Lisa.  Yup, I've got some real competition today.

About a year ago Dave won a huge tourney on Full Tilt - $23,000!  He was having a home game that I attended and he showed me the screen shot of his win.  He called me over and said "Josie, you gotta see this!"  Of course I was impressed and told him so (although he's won more than that at Foxwoods). 

So he says "So you think I'm a good poker player?"  And I say yeah!  Then he says, I think you're better than me and I think you're wasting your time when you could be making real money.  You're one of the few people I'm afraid to play against, and you always knock me out.  (I do have a knack for taking his chips).

That really touched me. Although for years he's been giving me this speech...."If I can do so well, you'll do even better."  That sort of shit.  But I have bills and responsibilities and can't afford to lose big buyins....

That night at his house, after his little lecture I won 2 of 3 tournaments and he won none. :)

I just hope he doesn't start at my table today!  He and his sister are good, although he's the better of the two.  Guess I have some competition today!  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Dave's sister deserves a post of her own.  She's like a female Waffles!  She gets sucked out on alot and will verbally and phsyically assault the asshole....I'm not kidding.  People will fold, because they're afraid of what she'll do if you win her pot.

She looks like a hells angels biker and not a nice one.

Her behaviour, coupled with her weird supersititons, are enough to keep me at bay.

I found out the hard way that if you ever wear the color red, you're her enemy.  Red is bad luck!  If you EVER touch her lighter (not that I have - but they all smoke there) She will assault you.  Touching her lighter is bad luck.  And if you should EVER touch her chips to make change, or whatevah, well I hope you have an insurance policy.  That's bad luck for her, but worse luck for you.

The poor guys act scared!  And I'm not ashamed to say I include myself in that bunch!

Anyway makes for an interesting game.  Wish me luck, dahlings!

Play smart.  I'm gonna.


Friday, April 16, 2010

Further Proof that I'm Capable of Taking Coop's Money

When you win money at the Saugus Sportsmen's Club you get a little manilla envelope like the ones shown here.  I was collecting them for a while, but honest to God I stopped collecting about a year ago.

I wonder how many I'd have if I had kept up with it.  Even the envelope I got last week was trashed.  But why am I showing you this?

It is proof that Coop is wrong!  I can't tell you when and I can't tell you how much, but it's mine!


Friday Humor

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No... Salty."

Mom fainted.

Hee Hee!