Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Skank of America

First of all let me say that maybe I got uber frustrated because I am PMSing.  Maybe.  Which may also be why Ken pissed me off.  Nahh....Ken always pisses me off and I don't always have PMS. 

Bank of America, oh, how I hate thee

Every year at Christmas time the owner requests that I get him a large and specific amount of cash.  He uses it to pass out to everyone who has done anything for him during the year; cleaners, building employees, mailmen, waitresses, etc etc etc.  If you've given this guy one cup of coffee during the year, he'll most likely hit you with $100.  He's very generous that way.  In fact, I've never met a grown man who embraced Christmas more than him...and um, he's Jewish.  He goes over the top for Christmas with his bonuses as well (lucky me!) and he's the one who insists on gifts at the holdiay part via Secret Santa.

Anyway.....I have to get him $3,000 in cash, $1,500 in hundys and $1,500 in fifties.  The bank the company uses for business is Boston Private Bank, which is a she-she bank and it's no where near the office, so I decided to go to my bank and cash the check there.  My bank being Bank of America.

So I'm waiting in line for quite a while and get to the teller.  I hand her my check and my request for half in hundys and half in fifties.  She gives me a horrified look, like I've just asked for her first born and replies "I don't have enough fifties".

Okay.....there are two other tellers, flanking her so I say "Could you get some fifities from the other tellers?"


She replies "Well it would be easier if you just went to that teller.  He has plenty of cash".

I blinked at her.

"Couldn't you just get change from him?"

She gave me this big song and dance about how she was leaving in 45 minutes and how I can't expect them to have that much cash available.

Um, they are a BANK.  And not a little one either.  Frankly, $3,000 isn't a gazillion bucks either but fine.  Instead of going back into the very long line, I stand by the teller she suggested I go to.  And wait.

And wait.

Lord knows what he and his client were trying to do but whatever it was they were trying very hard to get it accomplished.

The 3rd teller became available so I decided to jump in there.

"Can you cash a check this large?" I ask her.  She looks at me like "You idiot, we are a bank."  and then says that yes she can cash a check for 3 grand.


I tell her what I need, $1,500 in hundys and $1,500 in fittys.  She's doing her thang and then she says "Oh, I don't have enough hundreds to do that".

Fuck me.  I mean really.  I'm not Donald Trump or anything.  Can't this frigging bank fund their teller drawers correctly?  Especially during the holiday season?  I guess not.

"Now what?" I ask this nice woman who happens to have the same name as my sister!  Yes, this is the North End of Boston and it's Italian country.

Carmela says she'll just borrow some hundreds from the original teller.  lol I shiat you not.

I thank her.  The original teller is not thrilled with the situation though.  She gives a look like she's been sucking on lemons and says "My shift doesn't end for another 45 minutes.  I'll run out of cash".


I lie and tell Carmela that I'm on my lunch break and need to get the fuck out of here.  Carmela comes to the rescue and gets the hundys from the lemon faced biatch, who is moaning about not having enough cash to do her job.  Hey she didn't have enough cash to do her job when I was her customer and that didn't seem to bother her!

And not for nothing, but this chick could've really REALLY used a shower.  Her hair was so greasy and limp and clumped together from the oil.  Blah.

Anyway, I finally get the hell out of there, get back to the office and hand Mr. F****gold his wad of cash and he says "You didn't get new bills like you usually do."

Somehow, I didn't dropkick him.  Self control!



Cranky said...

It would be good to complain to the branch manager about her.

Wolfshead said...

It's what you get for using BoA. Find a nice regional

Josie said...

cranky and wolfie are both right. i signed up with BoA because of all the free atms on every corner as well as the free checking - which i qualify for.