Saturday, December 17, 2011


A post on Saturday? Practically unheard of!

Excuse the extreme close of my boss and me.  That was at last year's holiday party, and yes, we'd had a few too many at that point.  I totally forgot to charge my phone so I wasn't able to take any pictures yesterday, but plenty of other people were, so stay tuned.  I was sporting a black Bruins santa hat at yesterday's party.  No one seemed to see the bruins logo in front though and kept asking me if I was bad Santa. Heh.

The party was a big success even though it started out shaky.  I called the caterer at 9:30am to confirm the time of delivery which was 12:30.  She said "Oh yes, delivery between 12:15 and 12:30".  Perfect.  Except they arrived at 11:35am.  What.  The.  Fuck.  I kinda freaked out on the poor delivery guy, who was just doing his job, so I reigned it in and accepted it.  Keeping beef, fish and lamb on heaters is only going to overcook it and dry it out though!  :(  In the end, we started the party 15 minutes early and everyone raved about the food.....and the champagne.  We ended up with Veuve Clicquot (that's French!) and lord knows how much of it I drank.  I know I drank from 1pm to 5pm, and constantly had my glass refilled by the owner or his "drink elf" whenever it got to about half full.  So no idea how much that would be.  I do know that I have a head ache though! 

Secret Santa:  OMFG I finally got the gift!  A giant gelt chocolate coin about the size of a small plate (kosher!) some Toblerone(kosher!) a chanukah yo-yo, that lights up and sings dradle (sp?) songs and a fuzzy pair of antler ears to wear.  (recipient has to wear whatever he's given, and since i couldn't put a new yarmulke on his head antlers would have to do)  This all came with a note from Santa that said something like:

Dear Uri,

You've been a good boy this year so Santa wants to remind you of your Chankuah experiences as a child.  What, you didn't wear antlers for 8 nights?  Enjoy, from Santa.

Blah - kinda lame but whatever.  Here's the thing though.  We started opening gifts at 2:30pm, early so he could leave before sundown or sabbath or whatever, and we start calling him to open the gift, and he'd already left.  Biatch.  Didn't even say anything, just snuck out.  And the sun wasn't setting at 2:30!

Then the Secret Santa gift to me - Always a very scary thing.....It was a huge wrapped board with two envelopes attached.  The big board scared me because it could be.....anything.  So I open the first envelope and it says something like:
Josie, we have discovered your secret.  Unwrap large package to show everyone.
Uh, oh!

In my drunk state, I start thinking about what this could be and do not like the list that pops up.  At all.  Dear God, Let it not be the blog. Thank you. Amen.
It was a huge (larger than a large screen tv) poster board of me, holding a 254,000,000 check for winning megamillions with people all around me.  lol  It was actually my face photoshopped on whoever actually won it.  Very well done too.  Except.....I don't know where that picture of me came from but it was ooooooold.  At least 6 or 7 years old because my hair in the photo is BLONDE.  ugh.  I'd forgotten I went through that stage.  Some people aren't meant to be blonde and I'm one of them.  I looked like one of those overly blonded hispanic women...and in the picture my mouth is WIDE open, like....well, like a blow up doll.  I shiat you not.  I suppose they were going with the shocked look that I won the money, or perhaps just for laughs.  Like I said, I don't remember THAT photo. People kept coming up to look at it saying "But that's not a picture of you!". 

"Um, yeah it is. I was blonde for a little while". 


"Look at the eyes, not the mouth or hair."

Plus, I got (2) $5 scratch ticketss.  Ugh.  I fucking hate scratch tickets.  People assume because I play poker I like shiat like that.  I pay enough in fucking taxes and feel no need to give any more money to the Commonwealth of Mass.  Scratch tickets are another sucker game.  I'm sure I mentioned playing in my poker league where the knockout bounty is a $5 scratch ticket.  One night I ended up with 7 of those fucking pieces of cardboard and won nothing.  I always bitch and moan about the shitty bounty so when I knocked one guy out he said 'I think I have a lucky ticket but since you don't like them, how bout I give you $5 and keep my ticket?"

"Hells, yes!"
He won NOTHING.  But I digress.  I was talking about the holiday party.  Everyone had a great time, Evan, my Sugar Bear got ONE vote for cutest baby so he didn't win.  *sob*  You couldn't vote for your own photo or he would've gotten 2 votes.  Maybe.  :)  My vote went to the winner who was the most ADORABLE little asian girl who was about 4 years old. 

Holiday season is bad for my poker playing.  No effing time.  I have so much crapola yet to do but I feel like I haven't played poker in forever.  I'm going to take a day off mid week....most likely Wednesday.  I could do some last minute baking, cooking prep and present wrapping, OR I could go to Foxwoods and jam all the other shiat into Friday, which I also have off.

I'm thinking the latter. :)

Btw, here's some good news/bad news.  I now have 34 followers!  Woot!  Come follow me - the best is yet to be!  Okay, that's the good news.  The bad news is the name of the new follower is Derek Jeter. Grrrrrrrr Someone is Bad.



Wolfshead said...

Do you ever remember to charge your phone? (Think Borgata)

Cliquot ain't bad but Bollinger better and they used to be around the same price. At least you didn't go Mumms. Sorry I have a preference for Ay over Eperney or Reims. BTW, if you want to serve a good bubbles next year and save your boss some bucks go Iron Horse. Good domestic bubbles but a few bucks per bottle cheaper that the French

sebszebra said...

After seeing last night's libatory post, I was pondering what titles today's might have, such as:

"Momma's Got A Hangover"


"Momma Woke Up In The Broom Closet"


"When The F%&£ Did I Get That New York Jets Tattoo!"

Josie said...

@wolfie - if i got domestic champagny they'd effing throw it at me.

@sebs lolllllllll you crack me up. i mightve used those titles if i'd gone to the bar afterwards. my prob is it doesn't take many drinks to get me drunk. baaaad

and for the record I am tattoo free! I always said I'd get a red sox tat if they ever won the world series. and then they did in 2004 so i stopped saying that!

Josie said...

@wolfie - oh yeah, dead phone at borgata. you should be at my side at all times with that spare charger of yours. :)

Wolfshead said...

If they toss Iron Horse at you then grab what you can and thank them. Sound like a group that decides what is good by name rather than axctual quality, IOW, name snobs because if they know good quality bubbles they aren't turning down Iron Horse

josiesboytoy said...

Nice pic.... Oh and Derek Jeter is my real name

badbilly32 said...

i would have went with bucky dent.or arron boone personally....also bad read on men some of my married friends would make me look like"good billy" instead of badbilly! of course. im well behaved a good majority of the time(well thats prolly not true either)!

ill be rooting tom brady today, as i CANNOT STAND all this tim tebow crap(also ive given up on the browns and have morphed into a lions fan!)
on todays italian sunday dinner menu...... blackened chicken with shrimp alfredo..still debating if im gonna cheat and use a hoakie doak alfredo sauce in the jar....

and i would replace "kinda" with VERY I.M.O. LOL!
have a good day jo! :)

Josie said...

wow billy. i get your point about married men, which is why i amended my comment with "usually, anyway".

and I do NOT have a bad read on men. don't know you from adam, so let's see how we do.

I betcha....
1. Bucky Dent is you.
2. Even though you're Italian, I'd say you are the type with blue eyes. (Mmmm)

I don't blame you for giving up on the browns this year,ugh, that's a tough team to root for. Sunday dinner sounds delish. I swear to God we pretty much cook the same stuff. I made blackened chicken 2 weeks ago. Although i NEVER use jarred gravy, on occasion I do use the jar alfredo stuff. (shhhh) The real deal is easy to make though, as I'm sure you know.

Thanks for the nice words. You're sweet. (that's another read)


Memphis MOJO said...

Come follow me - the best is yet to be!

I didn't realize I wasn't following you -- am now!

Josie said...

Aww Thanks Mojo. You're my #35!!!! Yayy! And besides that you were one of the first guys to ever comment. you and coop.

badbilly32 said...

i was pretty much breaking chops on the bad read men thing, im sure your reads poker/men /otherwise are good ones lol(see qq discussion in the tbc thread lol)

blue/green ..depends on what i wear

#!%@!@#!%@%$!#%#browns, painful! lions did come back and win! they will be the next great nfl team,mark my words! and thank you very much mr brady(lol @ anyone saying brees or rodgers is better)

of course my alfredo(even with cheating sauce) was the bomb!

i guess if i keep posting in your blog then eventually you will know me from adam :)
and the whole reason i posted now was to ask if you are watching wsop europe(espn2) sick sick sick final table.......

nighty night josie !

Josie said...

Actually, I'm watching Survivor Finale, but now i'm switching to espn2.