Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah!

Our holiday party is Friday and I'm freaking out a bit.  I still don't have my Secret Santa gift which is totally unlike me. For Secret Santa, you pick a name out of a hat and buy a gift for whoever you picked.  Gift must be $10 value and should be creative, funny, and a bit humiliating is always nice.  :)  Also, whatever you get, you must use right there.  If it's booze, open up and drink.  If it's an article of clothing, you must wear it.  etc.  In the past, Adam got a spiked dog collars (which he had to wear) because at the time he was an architect's bitch.  The receptionist got a sombrero, with a dozen wine glasses hanging from it....you get the idea.

I picked this guy....Uri, who is Jewish and he's not the average kind of Jewish.  He's the type who has to be home by sun down on Fridays.  He can't use the phone during sabbath, and he certainly has never eaten a morsel of food in the office that he didn't bring from home.  Not even something like salad.  Oh and he wears a plain black yarmulke every day, much like the photo above.

I thought, what if I got him a fancy yarmulke? I've often seen them in different colors and even embroidered, like the ones below.  Hmmm I love a bit of bling and pizazz!


The thing is, I didn't want him to think I was making fun of his religion.  I'm trying to be more sensitive...at least I'm trying, right?  My boss is Jewish and by boss, I mean the guy in charge of finance.  The owner is also Jewish, but I didn't go to him, I went to the boss.  I told him my idea and he thought it was great and def not insulting.  In fact, he says to me, his temple sells Red Sox and Patriots yarmulkes.  Ooooo I thought.  Perfect!


Okay, so I felt like I was all set with my Secret Santa gift.  The boss said he'd pick the thingy up for me, plus I had a musical, glowing chanukah yo-yo to go with it.  Perfect!

Except....on Monday the owner (also Jewish) stopped by to hear about the menu and chat...blah blah blah.  To make small talk, I mention my Secret Santa gift and he's HORRIFIED and says it's a baaad idea.

"But Al said it was a good idea and he's Jewish".

"Does he seem particularly sensitive to you?  Do you think he has good manners?"

"erm, no....."

"I suggest you don't do this." (which really means I better fucking not)

So my idea is out the window.  Besides, the boss wouldn't pick up the thingy because it cost $16 and the limit is $10.  I was like "That doesn't matter.  I've never stayed within the limit." Obviously, he does though, because he didn't get it, which is just as well.

Now all I have is that yo-yo and a chanukah gift bag.  OMFG I need an idea very badly, otherwise I'm getting him a pen.  Yes, a pen, the world's most boring gift.

Help me!



VegasDWP said...

The best secret Santa gift I ever saw was given to the boss of an advertising agency where I knew some of the people. The boss opened up his secret Santa gift at the Christmas party to find three porn magazines and a tube of KY jelly.

He was a total wanker, though.

I'm not suggesting you take this idea, but I thought you'd at least find it amusing.

Josie said...

Heh. I find that hilarious and quite appropriate, as Im guessing that boss "screwed" many a person.

The Neophyte said...

Best secret santa gift I saw, a day too late for my own party, was a Justin Beiber face watch at Penneys for 14.99. Forcing someone to wear that all day would be rather funny