Friday, December 9, 2011

It's All Relative

Well I had a nice visit with my uncles and aunts yesterday, and boy do I feel young now!  :)  Either that or they've gotten quite old.  Actually, my Auntie Louise gave me a few backhanded comments about getting old. Here's the first one: "Sweetie, we're all getting old.  Even you, I see."

Awww, thanks Auntie!  The last time I saw Auntie Louise and Uncle Rocky was at their 50th wedding anniversary, so the second thing she says to me is "Dolly, we have some beautiful pictures of you from our anniversary.  What a pretty blue dress you were wearing."

"Thanks, Auntie."

"You looked so pretty Uncle Rocky didn't even recognize you.  He didn't know who you were.  It didn't look like you.  You looked like you're in your thirties.  In the picture, of course."

"Awesome."

Actually Gary and Wifey Tootsie met Auntie Louise at my dad's funeral.  I doubt Gary would remember her but I bet Tootsie does.  She's quite a character, with her hot pink lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow.  (dear god, please don't let me turn into auntie louise.  thank you. amen.)

Auntie Louise is the only one of the bunch who wasn't born in Sicily so she's the only one who spoke entirely in English.  The others would start a sentence in English and finish it in Sicilian, and I do mean Sicilian, not Italian.  The Sicilian dialect is similar to Italian yet quite different.  I took Italian for 5 years in school so I can follow along, plus I grew up with the half and half conversations so it was no prob.

It was no prob until the conversation turned to "blacks and puerto ricans" and abortion.  omg.  I was kinda following along (kinda) when Uncle Rocky turned to me and asked me what I thought of the l'abortion.  Ut oh.  Uncle Rocky is uber Catholic and a deacon in his church, so I don't know that he'd really appreciate my view.

"Ummmm.....abortion......"

"Ya, whaddaya think!"

"Well, I'd never have one Uncle Rocky, but the service should be there for women who choose that.  If it's illegal women will find a way to get one and it'll be unregulated and dangerous...blah blah blah".

"I meana whaddaya think about la insuranca quando pay for it. that's a not right, eh?"

"Ohhhhhh. yeah, that's not right." (if i'm paying for insurance, of course it's right, but who cares)

Luckily Auntie Louis shifted the conversation to Dancing With The Stars, which is solid ground for me.

"Sweetheart, did you watch that Kardashian on dancing with the stars?  What a handsome boy."

Auntie Louise also told me that Chelsea Clinton is getting divorced because her husband is a playboy.  According to Auntie Louise it's all Chelsea's fault because he was a playboy before they got married so she should've known better.

"They don't change Jo!" She said, giving Uncle Rocky a glaring look.

I had no idea Chelsea and her hubby were splitting.  I actually googled it last night and couldn't find much info about it but that doesn't matter.  Auntie Louise knows!

In other relatives news, Sugar Bear is home sick.  :( Ergo, I'm leaving work as early as possible today, once I get some shiat done.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Josie

15 comments:

Wolfshead said...

Don't all us Catholics, active and retired, have that problem in our families? You ain't seen nothing until you've gone from being the family's best hope for the priesthood in your childhood to being the family heathen. Then the religous half wants to bring the subjects up to prove how wrong headed you are while the getting along half want you to shut up and bite your tongue because they know what's in the offing.

Josie said...

LOL, YOU were the family's best hope for a priest. you're killing me. ;)

I do know what you mean though.

lightning36 said...

I think I'd like Uncle Rocky ... : o )

Now I understand why circumstances have brought Josie, Wolfshead, and lightning36 together -- so that I can bring you guys back into the fold!

Oh yeah ... remembering the abortion conversation with Joe C in Las Vegas ... gawd forbid hearing about her sexual preferences ... : o )

Happy weekend!

Josie said...

LOl, Lightning, I'd forgotten that we had the abortion conversation. i do not remember a conversation about my sexual preferences(!). Ut oh!

Cranky said...

VJ - my wife was brought up Catholic, too. There are certain things best not discussed with the Catholic in-laws, such as the fact that we're in-laws, since they're against same sex marriage. Interestingly, the most supportive of Skip's 4 brothers is a deacon. He spoke at our Civil Union in Vermont years ago (back before our marriage was legal in Mass) and my mother has loved loved loved him ever since.

Families are funny things. Loved your story.

Josie said...

@cranky, you made me laugh with "it's better not to mention to the inlaws that we ARE inlaws." lol

yeah, family is family and older peeps are set in their ways but i do love them all and vice versa.

Gary said...

Of course I remember her - how could I forget? She called me handsome, just like your mother did! I made a few jokes about wishing she were single and that got all the black dresses giggling...

Seriously, I like your fam, to the extent I know them. All full of life.

Josie said...

thanks gary! LOL whenever your name comes up my mother always does say "what a handsome guy". lol

lightning36 said...

So sorry to hear that your family has a history of visual impairments ... : o )

Wolfshead said...

Yes, everyone thought I was destined for the priesthood up until about 8th grade then i started asking questions. Even worse I had a seminarian on a hiatus as an 8th grade teacher and due to his influence I went to a high school other than the local Catholic one. It was Catholic but their religious training was not so doctranaire or dogmatic. Not only that the educational thrust in all classes was to think and to question. Guess they figured faith would prevail but in my case questions put my feet on the path to Perdition.

As for bringing me back to the flock Light you can forget it. I'm retired and I'm not giving back my gold watch.

Wolfshead said...

Yes, everyone thought I was destined for the priesthood up until about 8th grade then i started asking questions. Even worse I had a seminarian on a hiatus as an 8th grade teacher and due to his influence I went to a high school other than the local Catholic one. It was Catholic but their religious training was not so doctranaire or dogmatic. Not only that the educational thrust in all classes was to think and to question. Guess they figured faith would prevail but in my case questions put my feet on the path to Perdition.

As for bringing me back to the flock Light you can forget it. I'm retired and I'm not giving back my gold watch.

Gary said...

Light, that's funnier than you think it is.

And as for Jo's sexual preferences: I have it on good authority that she especially likes - how do I put this? - clever lefties? Smart sinistrals? or even...crafty southpaws?????

Josie said...

ha gary! and then you woke up.

Gary said...

Please. I do my best work asleep.

Josie said...

@gary, as I've been privy to some of your dreams, I do agree.