The hole's about the size of The Grand Canyon and the funny thing this is I didn't realize I had such a hole in my game until tonight.
Poker Meister a/k/a Floppy commented on one of my earlier posts and this is what he said:
I'm still trying to work on this, so it's hypocritical for me to criticize you for doing it, but don't help other players - even if you feel badly for them. There are a lot of reasons for people to play poker - and I find the losers want one thing: to confirm that they lose. I have also found that by trying to help, they either don't listen, don't get it, or don't care.
What purpose is served by helping them? For me, it "relieves me" of the guilt of taking stack over stack, week after week, from a person whom I would consider to be a friend. Some of the time, though, even the best of intentions are met with resentment... they know you're a better player than they, and they come for the gamble of it all. I'm finding that it serves no purpose to voluntarily help other players get better.
Wow - Pearls of wisdom right there.
This is something I do repeatedly. I play against some nice guys at the Saugus Sportsman's Club monthly - and I usually take their money.....last time I was there I was trying to help a guy play the short stack before he got too low....Gary's (jewboy's) response was "Jo, this is a competition you know". At the same tourney I got yelled at because I was trying to teach a girl my theory on middle pairs.
I play at Lynne's house every two weeks and there the stakes are high - not kid stuff - and when she loses every week, I'm just banging my head against the wall, frustrated that she cannot comprehend pot odds, being reeled in and what a decent starting hand is.
So why the hell do I do this?
Why do I feel the need to help/teach/learn when I'm there for one reason. The money! And if that's the reason then my actions don't make sense.
Poker Meister is exactly right. I DO feel bad taking money from people I like, repeatedly. Over the last couple years I've taken thousands from the sportsmen's club, but it's done fair and square....sorta. There's a luck factor in poker, but only to a certain extent. I'm not in the money every time I play there, but close enough. And the funny thing is, they're aware of how often I cash, and how they suck, yet they don't want to hear what I've got to say, or just don't understand what I'm getting at and really are not interested.
I think another reason I do this so much is because I'm a big dork and love to talk about poker theory. I LOVE chatting about big slick and why it isn't as great as it looks (or pocket pairs, or chasing straight draws, or playing the shortstack, or what-evah) and it's not just to hear myself talk. Nothing brings me greater joy than to find someone who has their own theories and I can learn from their point of view and maybe even debate. People like that are hard to find though.
One night after a cash game at Lynne's house I actually asked her what she got out of all this hosting and never winning. She said she wanted the company and if she didn't do this, she'd be at the bar drinking, spending her money THAT way. "This way" she said "I get to see my friends, have some laughs and drink at home, not alone. Whether I lose the money in poker or spend it drinking at a bar, it doesn't matter."
She told me that about 3 months ago, yet I've continued with my "helping" with nothing positive coming from it.
Hell, last night during Very Josie Poker, Floppy knocked me out so I was watching the game. DB Cooper played great but I noticed him over betting his middle pair, which was something that took him out of a tourney earlier in the week.
I started IMing like a mad woman "MIDDLE PAIR COOP! YOU DID IT AGAIN - LEARN FROM THIS". And I did this to what end?
Bottom line is I'm plugging this fucking hole up and my piehole too. At least as far as giving unsolicited advice goes. Those days are OVER.
Thanks for making me aware of it Floppy. YOUR advice did not fall on deaf ears.
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