Wednesday, April 7, 2010

DB Cooper Kicked My Ass!

Don't believe everything you read!

The bummer of it is we didn't even play on the same table. Even so, he lasted longer than I did, so he has earned his "ass-kicking" status. And he DID kick ass, just not mine.

Coop played well and got lucky a few times, which was a formidable combination. I remember him having back to back aces....he was catching some nice cards and some nice rivers. Of course I also remember him over playing his middle pair, but who am I to cast stones? He was a chip leader from the beginning and stayed there till there were 5 players left. Then suddenly the tide changed and my boy Lightning36 all of a sudden took the lead.

Now one of the things that make me such a good poker player (except last night) is I have oodles of women's intuition and know how to go with a gut feeling. My gut feelings tend to be right. And at the beginning of this tourney, while Lightning was shortstacked and crippled, I stated that he was the horse I was betting on to win the tourney. And damn, but wasn't I right?

Oops I gave away the ending story!

Let's take a look at a few hands, shall we?

Hand one - There are raises and re-raises and before you know it Memphis Mojo is all in with KK, and he's up against QQ. The flop is Q, rag, rag and before you can say "geezer", Memphis was out of the tournament.

Hand four - My sista, The Lovely Cricket, is in the hand. KeepFloppin raises, and I call with 9,9. Cricket re-raises and Keep Floppin calls and I fold my nines. Too much money for a middle pair.

Flop has a king. My sis has a king too. K,Q to be exact. She bets and Floppy goes all in, and sista calls. Floppy has A,A and Cricket is down to 150 in chips. She lasted a few more hands and then was out.

I was out tenth, right before the final table. I didn't play as well as I could've. I think I was too focused on chatting, and not on the game. I won't make that mistake again. My final hand was ace/ten, and I caught an ace on the turn and pushed with it. I kinda liked my kicker and thought I was up against kings. Turns out I was up against trips - mutha fucka.

Then there's Jew Boy - He was out 7th - but before that happened he had plenty of chips and was chip leader for quite a while...I was chatting so I dunno what happened to them.

And I didn't realize it but The Poker Grump was in my game! Holy Sheet! Not only that, he also TWEETED about my game. How cool is that? Grumpy, I hope you had fun...and the most important thing to remember is I lasted longer than you!!!!! Grumpy came in 12th place. Poker Grump I want a rematch with you. You're one of those vegas professional guys - and I betcha I can take you. Care to make a wager?

Coop took him out with A,K. Grumpy had A,J.

Coop, I want a rematch with you too and I want you at my table. And we're upping the side bet. You sure don't play like an old guy.

Back to the game...Final table and Coop is still the chip leader. Mr. GoBurn1 is short stacked. He's been playing tight - just like I remember him. Tight and smart. I know he's a good player and has won plenty of cash both online and live. And he's cool as a cucumber. I'm pretty sure ice wouldn't melt in his hand. This guy does not get rattled. He's choosing his spots and pushing all in quite a bit. And no one calls him. He's picking up blinds but very short stacked.

GoBurns doesn't live too far from me, so I offer him some incentive - take out my nemesis, DB Cooper and I'll make you a homemade calzone. My homemade calzone is so good it'd make you cry. The only problem is whenevery I make it, it disappears almost instantly.

Of course Go Burns is very shortstacked and coop is the chip leader when I make this offer - but I just had a feeling....almost two hours after I offer my incentive it happens - Go Burns takes out Coop and coop is bubble boy!

Lightning was the chip leader and won the tourney - with Go Burns in 2nd with a calzone bonus. Newin Nov came in third. Who the heck is he?

And you know who's a funny bastard? Floppy! Floppy, you're my second favorite Jew!I must be your favorite Shiksa, no?

Oh and one other thing.....part of my bet with Coop is to add a hyperlink to this post and it'll shoot you over to his blog. And I'm gonna do that just how he likes it. On the very last sentence.

That's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.



lightning36 said...

Remind me to take you with me the next time I go to the track and need someone to pick the ponies.

Fun tournament. Thanks for hosting.

Josie said...

Only if you whinny for me! LOL

Tell Waffles to play next time, and don't shave that beard.

The Poker Meister said...

So dissapointed that you didn't say "Floppy kicked your ass," particularly because I was the one who took you out :-)

Josie said...

I agree Floppy, but a bet's a bet - and that was the bet I had with Coop...besides YOU GOT LUCKY....lucky I caught my ace on the turn.

"Like a young man coming in from a quickie, I feel so unsatified"....really floppy! I need to redeem myself - and get you back for that.

And I DID say your my 2nd favorite Jew! xoxo

The Poker Meister said...

And you did see a lot of "Jew on Jew action" last night :-)

Josie said...

@pokermeister - yep, only thing better would've been twin brothas. ;)

SirFWALGMan said...

NewInNov is a regular to the Mookie and blogs a lot. I can get you a link if you want. He is a decent player. Lightbulb has been killing the blogger games since I have not been around to knock his ass out. :). I will play the next one.

I like my goatee but it is a bit salt and peppah so it is annoying. So I am contemplating the removal. If it would just go all white I would be cool with it.

My dad went all white young like me. (Young being a relative term meaning like in his 40's).

SirFWALGMan said...

I will play the next Josie is Stacked tourney? No Stack the Josie tourney? No Very very Josie tourney ya that's it..

Josie said...

@waffles - I'd love a link to NewinNov, and I'll take lightbulb out of the next one...right after I take your ass out. :) PLEASE DO PLAY NEXT TME.

And I know EXACTLY what your goatee looks like. You think I haven't seen pictures of you? Auntie Josie does her homework! Of course the pics I saw were about 2 yrs old, and you had the salt 'n pepa back then, even though.....YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN ME. Bastard!

Oh, AND you're a liar....other than that - you're alright by me - keep the goatee - I like it too.

Why did I call you a liar? Because you did NOT look pucking obese in the pictures!

Josie said...

@ WAFFLES will play the next Josie is Stacked tourney? No Stack the Josie tourney? No Very very Josie tourney ya that's it. LOL Josie's got a decent stack!

Memphis MOJO said...

Great tournament, lotsa fun, even though my evening was cut short by NewinNov, um, as in very short.

He's a good guy, though, so I'm giving you the link:

Josie said...

Thanks Mojo - you're a good guy too!

Memphis MOJO said...

Lightning 36 and his bride (very nice couple) came to Memphis last summer and the three of us went out together. If you wanna see what he looks like, check out my blog here:

Josie said...

@memphis - I KNOW what lightbulb looks like - beard with food in what I dont know is what YOU look like...any pics where you're facing the camera - as opposed to your profile pic? Oooo maybe you're in the pics you're talking about? I'll check it out.

Memphis MOJO said...

Here's moi, the one and only MOJO, at the Memphis Zoo (scroll to bottom):

Josie said...

@mojo - you're even cuter than the panda bears!

Okay so maybe you're not THAT old a geezer, but unless you tell me to let up on you, I probably won't. :)

Thanks - i love putting a face with a name!

SirFWALGMan said...

I think Mojo looks a little like Granpa Munster:

LOL. I am only 2 years younger than you Josie. I am not obese but not in great shape either.. working on it though so I can run my marathon later this year.

Gary said...

Great tournament all around - I've never been so proud to finish 7th out of a field of 16 in my life! Josie was right, that was a lot of fun, count me in for the next one, we ALL played really well. Well, I'm going to have to give Mojo an Incomplete. He went in 4-1 ahead, that's about all you can do, but the poker gods had other plans.

Josie, are you suggesting that I am your favorite Jew? I'm flattered. If I had a pen I'd write down the date and time.

Good to play with all of you - floppy, lightning, mojo, coop, everybody. When this tournament gets more popular, I can only imagine how long it's going to take to finish!

dbcooper said...

Thanks Josie for hosting a great tournament. I really enjoyed playing with Gary (no more nicknames for him), Memphis, Your sister, lightning, The Grump, The Duck, the meister and everybody else. Congrats to Lighting who won. Oh yea and thanks for the hyperlink.................. wooo hoo. Till we meet again Josie..

Josie said...

@waffles - ROFL!! Mojo, i can kinda see the granpa munster in you. lollllllllllllll very fucking funny! and whaddaya mean "ONLY" two years younger....a little advice from Very Josie: beware of older women, we're nothing but trouble.

@jewboy - of COURSE you're my favorite Jew - but floppy's gaining on you.

Josie said...

Yeah coop - what a GREAT bunch of guys. Never have I felt so accepted and at ease with a bunch of guys - poker bloggers are THE BEST.

Schaubs said...

It's because they are all perverts...

Are you the new LJ or CK?

I'll try and play next time.

Josie said...

Schaubs - what's the new LJ? I'm Very Josie, baby. VJ!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting!! Makes me very happy...only thing that would make me happier is if you play next time.

Ever lose to a girl? :)

Lucki Duck said...

Great tourney VJ. Except for Mojo... he disappeared faster than a cupcake at a pot party!

Let's do it again, but not too soon... it takes us "old guys" a while to recover for round two.

Josie said...

Thanks Lucky Duck! You need time to recover for round two? I've got one word for you - VIAGRA ;)

I, like alot of women, don't need recovery time, and I wanna play next week! After that I think it'll be monthly. So I expect to go Lucky Duck hunting next wednesday!

Gary said...

As for recovery time, give me a glass of orange juice and a cigarette and I'm ready for round two, baby!!

Wait, are we still talking about poker?

Josie said...

Poker Gary, It's all about Poker!

SirFWALGMan said...

We should grab a friendly beer after work some day. Send me an email at sirfwalgman @ if you want.

NewinNov said...

Boy this is the longest thread I've seen in a while. Can't believe Waffles wrote something nice about someone. Training for marathon? That's incredible. I remember Waffles crazy posts, wacky but always fun to read. I sense a poker blogger reawakening but I've be absent lately so perhaps it's still alive and well.

Cricket said...

Josie, I had do much fun "playing" in the tourney. I noted the time..I was out at 9:08...
Yep, I would have liked to stay a little longer and gonna try real hard next time.
I do have to say though, once I was through licking my wounds, I observed the rest of the two plus hour game and THOROUGHLY enjoyed it!

Glad meeting all and especially the players at my table! You were so much fun, and I learned alot.
Floppy, Coop, Lucki, Lightening, Newi, yes, Gary and Memphis, GoBurn1, and Jos.
You guys were the nice! And what great players!
Looking forward to getting to know(not in the biblical sense, Gary) everyone else.!

SirFWALGMan said...

I will be at the Very Josie Wednesday game. I may even try and win.

Cricket said...

me too!