Why Am I Reading YOUR Blog....

...when I could be reading crAAKKer! 

CrAAKKer is a cracker of pocket aces and kings....how cool is that!  Love me an aggressive poker player.  Does he know about the wonder of J-10 and the power it has to crack aces?  I'm thinking mebbe he does.

No, I don't know this guy from Adam, but he's hilarious AND he's smart.  Too bad I can't say that about most of you. (just kidding)

He's also a follower of mine, which speaks volumes about his good taste. 

His latest post mentions cougars, sausage stuffers, and the Poker Grump.  And it's frigging hilarious (I might've mentioned that).  Now something that's noticeably absent is any mention of me.  I am going to overlook this for the moment..although how could he NOT mention me???????????

The good news is I have oodles of crAAKKer archives to read when I'm bored at work, so I won't have to bug Waffles so much.

The bad news is when I was looking for "cracker" images for this post, I came across this photo:

Frigging Horrific

That picture freaks me the fuck out.  Have I mentioned my raccoon phobia?  I had a very traumatic raccoon incident about a year or 2 ago, and now I break out into a cold sweat when I see one of this little masked bastards on TV.  Whenever a raccoon should show up on TV I always know about it cuz my son yells "Mom you have to see this!!!!!" just so he can see me freak out.  Sweet kid, huh?

FYI raccoons aren't so fucking little when you're up close and personal to them.  He looks little in this photo doesn't he?  This one must be a newborn or something. 

The one that was up in my grill IN MY HOUSE was a huge fucker.....I'm talking about the size of tank.

*shudder*

Josie

Comments

dbcooper said…
Where I live borders on a golf course and there are lots of raccoons, deer and squirrels that I see everyday. How can you be scared of a cute little raccoon??
May 30, 2010 at 11:21 AM
dbcooper said…
Oh yea stop ignoring me when I visit you online like last night when you were playing that 22.00 SNG... Geez .. Saw you go out in 3rd for a cash.
May 30, 2010 at 11:25 AM
Memphis MOJO said…
I'll second your praise of crAAKKer. Besides being interesting, he writes well from a technical standpoint.
May 30, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Josie said…
Coop, I forgot that you live in Shangrila. This was horrible though and he wasn't little.

Oh and I wasn't ignoring you, i was chatting with another blogger...lets call him Pancakes...it's his fault I ONLY came in 3rd.

@Mojo - you have good taste.
May 30, 2010 at 12:15 PM
Wolfshead said…
Yea, I'm suprised that he hasn't mentioned you yet as the way you play poker is hilarious so he has a whole new source of material.
May 30, 2010 at 12:45 PM
The Neophyte said…
Raccoons are mean nasty creatures who are much too smart for their own good and able to get into nearly anything. They are all over the place down here. I hit one in my car about 4am one morning and it was so big that I caught it's head with my bumper while he was running on all fours. That's a big raccoon. He probably had been eating out of every garbage can and dumpster in the area. Raccoons scare me, small hands, smell like cabbage.
May 30, 2010 at 1:22 PM
Grange95 said…
Josie, thank you for your flattering post. I have been following your blog for a few months now, and it is always an enjoyable read. You will definitely make an appearance in my blog, but it will be much like my crAAKKing hands--when you least expect it. :-p

As for the poor raccoon, how can you fear him? Look at him ... soooo cute! I grew up on a farm next to a creek, and we had raccoons in our sweet corn field all the time. Once, I was carrying one end of a 30 foot aluminum irrigation pipe through a patch of shoulder high weeds when I stepped right on a big raccoon who was trying to hide. Scared us both!
May 30, 2010 at 1:49 PM
lightning36 said…
Don't mess with raccoons. They are mean suckers.
May 30, 2010 at 10:07 PM
Josie said…
Wolfie baby, YOU'RE hilarious.

Neo - Raccoons are carnie people, lol. They fucking scare me too though.

CrAAKKer - you're a farmer AND a lawyer....how.....well rounded you are. Raccoons are the work of the devil!!! Thanks for your kind words though! I anxiously await my debut on CrAAKKer's blog!
May 31, 2010 at 1:15 AM
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