Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Anyone want some of this?

I'm talking about the cash!

Guess what time it is?

It's time for Very Josie Poker!  I'll be hosting this tournament on the first Wednesday of EVERY MONTH, which is tomorrow!

I know what you're thinking.  The Dank is tomorrow night too.  But you have to ask yourself, what do you want to do?  Grind away till the wee hours of the morning or have a helluva good time and alot of laughs? Listen to Auntie Josie.  Spend your Cinco De Mayo with me!

I expect this to be a small tournament, perhaps even a (1) table so it's not going to take all night, and dontcha want to make me happy?  I've been slaving away typing up post after post and all I ask is that you play with me for a little while.

Um, and give me your chips.  That'd be good too.

But here's the issue.  I promised myself no drinking this time.  The plan was to actually try to win, but it's Cinco de Mayo baby, and I LOVE margaritas....and tequila for that matter.  I blame Cricket for that. 

When I was 19 years old, Cricket, my cousin Sara, and I went on a girls vacation to Cancun!  This was back when no one had ever heard of Cancun.

We were afraid to drink the water so we drank tequila instead.  For a whole week!  LOL  What a crazy freaking week.....Every night they'd tip your head back and pour (free) tequila right down your throat while dancing and singing....Cricket got electrocuted, we partied with male prostitutes, wore our underwear on the beach as though it was a bikini (but it was really just a bra and panties) LOLLLLLLLLLLL  God, what else?  Cricket, remember my run on the beach????

We met some guys on the beach and we were hanging out getting to know each other.  No we didn't speak Spanish and no, they didn't speak English, but sometimes that doesn't even matter.  My guy was super handsome and very tall with long legs and somehow he managed to ask me to take a run with him on the beach.

Now I'm thinking he wants a little alone time with Very Josie (who wouldn't).  And at that time I was quite the jogger so I say sure, let's go for a run.

Well as soon as I say okay, he's off like a bat out of hell.  When he said "run" he meant it.  Fuuuuck, I thought we'd be running together, side by side, by the surf.....you know, like something from, from here to eternity.

Instead, he's motoring like his ass is on fire.

Like I said I was a bit of a runner myself so I set off after him.  LOL I must've chased that guy for 20 minutes as fast as I could.  After about a half hour I catch him.  Only because he decided he'd gone as far as he wanted.  LOL  And that was it.  Then he ran right back and I had to haul my sweaty ass all the way back after him too.

When I got back I was all exhausted and sweaty.  The girls were dying laughing.  They watched me chase that fucker for an hour.

But lemme tell you, I didn't have to chase anyone else that week.  Those Mexicans were on me like white on rice.  Then again, I was 19 and very, very, very, very attractive back then, IMO.  One of the male prostitutes actually said to me in his broken English "You, I will do for free, no money".  Geez, how mighty generous of him, huh?  No, I didn't take him up on his offer.

Hmmm now that I think of it, I think Cricket still has pictures from the trip!!!!  Maybe if we ask Cricket nicely, she'll share them so I can post them.  I haven't seen them in like 20 years.

Whoops, I got side tracked.  Where was I?

Very Josie Poker. 

It's tomorrow night and I'll be chasing after you and your chips, just like when I was 19.  Maybe this time I'll do some catching.

Tournament name:  Very Josie Poker
May 5, 2010 @ 9pm ET
Tournament # 157054062

Password is pokerbaby

I'll be there and you should too.  I still haven't decided if I'll play The Mookie as well.  We'll see how I'm feeling at 9:59pm. 

I'm open to side bets with anyone who has me on their blog roll.  Cuz if you don't, you should.  I've got this $60 just burning a hole in my Full Tilt account.

Play smart.



lightning36 said...

A buy-in last longer bet?

Katitude said...

I'd be up for some of that.

Josie said...

Ahhh Lightning! You're on! That bet will be fine PLUS you have to post "I heart Josie" on your blog the morning after.

@Kat - promises, promises....if I remember correctly you stood me up at the last very josie. Will you actually play this time?

Cricket said...

OMG. I'm laughing out loud all by myself!
What a trip! So many memories...thank God I have you to remember them for me...been drinking that Tekilya longer than you. But, oh yeah, gonna run that visual of you and the runner and chuckle all day.
I'll look for those photos, and maybe I can bring myself to play the Very Josie tommorrow.

Josie said...

Cricket...too frigging funny. Play the Very Josie!!!!

@kat, am I on your blog roll yet? We can do this the easy way or the hard way. :)

lightning36 said...

If you want me to post that, you have to offer 2:1 odds. I am not cheap and easy.

The original offer still stands.

Josie said...

No effing way.

How bout this: You post the "I Heart Josie" if you lose and if I lose I'll buy some cards from your lovely wife!

Plus the buy-in bet. That's fair! I love the cards and they're underpriced!

Do it for your wife.

Josie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wolfshead said...

Well I was planning to play but some of those visuals you left from that vacation have screwed up my mind and it may take me some days to recover. TMI. Be more careful in the future

dbcooper said...

I should be there. (thats 4 words)

Josie said...

@Wolfie, what are you talking about???? What visual did you get??? Me sweaty running after a guy???? Didn't mean to offend anyone!!! I do that more often than I plan.

@Coop, I have two words for you.

Katitude said...

1) stood you up? I wasn't aware we had a date, and in any case, and I know this may be a shock, but there is a life that requires attention sometimes. Which I mentioned at the time.

2) If you went to my blog, you'd notice that I don't HAVE a blogroll. I follow people via Google reader. Which you are on. So does that make it the easy way or the hard way? And btww, I'm not seeing me on yours either.

Josie said...


1.) You did tell me at the time - I was just teasing you. I have an incredible knack for offending people unintentionally.

2.) I went to your blog for the first time today and yep, no blog roll. :( What about a blog roll with only one blogger? One AMAZING blogger! (I am just kidding) Yes, being on your google reader is the easy way.
If you show up for Very Josie tomorrow night you'll be on my blog roll. Hell you're gonna be on it anyway. Love the photos of your knitting. That's something I just have no talent for so it always impresses me.

Bayne_S said...

6 pm still way too early

Josie said...

Sorry Bayne. If I go any later it'll be too late for us on the east coast.

Wolfshead said...

FYI, I'm rarely offended, more likely to be offensive and unlike you it's probably intentional. But being propositoned by male hookers for freebies. Yup, TMI

lightning36 said...

Offer withdrawn.

Wolfshead said...


doesn't mean I'm offended, just that it was more than I really needed to know LOL