Saturday, May 1, 2010

Live Action is The Nuts

You know how I didn't cash in The Mookie (21st place) or that $3 (90) person (12th place) that I played?  Well I kept thinking it'd be so much easier if I could just play a live tourney. So that's what I did.

I had Friday off so I decided to hit The Seabrook Poker Room.  Gary wasn't interested in going.  Maybe that has something to do with the fact that's he's never cashed there. :P  I cash there alot but don't go there much.

First order of business was finding the right "poker uniform".  Why not use all your assets right?  I tried this top on and took a couple of pictures:

So that was my first pick.  But when I looked at these pictures I thought it was too much.  LOL it's probably "too much" to post here even, but what the hell.

Anyway, I ended up changing into a brown satin camisole that covered the girls a little more but was still a little sexy.  Good thing I did.  The air conditioning in that place was on full blast and I froze for hours.  These pictures are really crappy and blurry cuz I was in a hurry to leave.

I get there just in time for the 1pm $100 tourney.  Never played there during the week before.  I sat down to a table with 4 hard core players and 3 dealers who didn't have to work till that evening.  The guy to my left (jimmy) asked my name and when I told him, he immediately sang the Josie & The Pussycats song.  Very friendly guys.  I won about 4-5 small pots in the first hour.  At one point I was up against one of the "off the clock" dealers.  I had A-8 (I know, I know).  I was the big blind.  Button tripled the blinds and I called.  Flop was 8-3-2.  I figure he has high cards.  I bet almost pot and he calls.  Turn is a Jack.  I'm not liking this at all.  I check and so does he.  River is a small card...I think a 5.  I check and he bets $700.  I really don't want to lose $700 with ace rag, but I just don't put him on a jack.  Hard call but I call.  He flips over pocket sevens. I flip over my Ace 8 and he says you got the pot again.  I say "Yeah, I also got an extra $700."

Well the table explodes!  They say I was rubbing it in.  Jimmy wins the next pot and says "Ship it to Mama!" in a high voice as he scoops the pot. I guess he was imitating me.  Then every time there's a winner, they yell "Ship it to Mama!"  So of course I do the same thing.  Then the whole table starts calling me Sugar Mama. 

Today I was christened with the following nicknames in this order.

Sugar Mama
Pretty Predator (which got shortened to PP...not a fan of THAT)
Brown Widow (I ended up wearing the brown top)

Brown Widow was the one that stuck.

But let's go back to why I called that $700 bet.  Every tourney I play there are some things that just don't change.  At the beginning of a tourney men tend to try to push me around with shitty cards.  Do they think women are timid and will run away?  I think so!  So every tourney starts with guys trying to bully me.  Then moves to respecting my play, then moves to fearing me when I'm in a pot.  Every tourney, every time.  I'm not saying I always cash.  I get bad beats like everyone else but by the end, NO ONE is pushing me around unless they've got a great hand.

Break after the first hour and I have more than double the starting chips.  I'm doing great and keep on playing and playing.  Making lots of correct calls and reads.  Now people are less interested in being in pots with me, which suits me fine.

During that first hour all I kept thinking was ahhhh "the blindfold is off".  To me, playing online felt like playing blindfolded, and now the blindfold was lifted.  I could SEE who was slow playing, who was bluffing....Mamma was HOME.

I'm doing some blind stealing but selectively.  There are two tight players in seats 1 and 2. I'm in seat 5 and steal their blinds mercilessly. They notice that I'm always raising their blinds but don't do anything about it, till I have A-Q suited.  One guy calls my raise and the flop is Q-rag-rag.  I bet big and he finally folds.  I show my hand, which makes him happy, and affords me a little credibility to keep doing what I'm doing.

I get badly hurt when I flop trip sixes.  I have pocket sixes and bet 4times the blind.  Flop is 6-J-Q.  I feel like he might've caught some of that, so I bet big.  No slow playing for Very Josie today.  Not something I do anymore.  It gets you in trouble and there's no need to be greedy.  I'm happy to scoop whatever's in the pot.  Except he doesn't call, he goes all in.

I instacall and he flips over Q-J (queen/jack ends up hurting me later on too).  But I'm ticked pink at the moment.  Trips vs 2 pair.  Turn is a non card, and river is a jack.  I have 6s full of jacks and he has jacks full of queens. 

I get moved to another table and eventually lose with pocket 8's after a big raise and a flop that was seven high.  Fuuuuuuuuck.

Next tourney is at 5pm.  Just to pass time I decide to play a limit cash game.  Very first hand I have pocket 6s (AGAIN).  I just call.....not a big fan of 6s at this point.  Flop is 6-Q-rag.  I bet and get a few callers and one raise.  I raise right back.  We're 3 handed.  Turn is a non guy bets, I raise and the third guy folds.  River is another 6.  QUADS BABY!  He bets, I raise, he raises, I raise....then he says that the only thing that can beat him is quad 6s and I can't have THAT but he's just gonna call.  He turns over pocket queens, he has a house.  I show my quads and he's shocked.  I play one more hand after that and leave the table  up $32.  I HATE that game.

5pm tourney is a $70 buy-in and I'm ready.  Same shit again.  I definitely don't want to lose two tourneys so I'm focused on being patient and waiting for the cards.  They don't come as easily this time, but I'm up a little more than my starting stack when I get AA.  I raise to 5 times the blind and get one caller.  An older woman.  Flop is Q-2-6. I bet pot and she goes all in.  Instacall AGAIN.  She turns over Q-J AGAIN.

Turn is a 2.  Now I have two pair.  I don't need to worry about a jack anymore.  She's standing up, packing her shit up and the turn is a Q.  Rivered a boat AGAIN.  She had less than me, but now I'm shortstacked.

I tell myself that I'm going to wait and play with patience like Frankie.  My table gets split up and I play precious few hands.  I get KK and it holds up.  A youngish kid, tries to buy my pot and I re-raise and with my over pair.  Then I start raising HIS blinds.  Again and Again.  I have A-K when he finally calls one of my raises.  Good timing!

He starts calling me the Brown Widow.  When tables get combined he tells them out for the Brown Widow, she'll kill you. Don't get caught in her web (that's verbatim).  The guys look at my not so large stack and say, what are you talking about?  She's not the chip leader?  He says "Doesn't matter.  Watch out she's a predator.  I think she's here from Vegas (LOL I wish!).  His buddy says well at least she's a pretty predator.  That guys starts calling me PP but the other guy won't let up with the brown widow shit.

He's in a plaid shirt so I start calling him Plaid Boy.  "Brown Widow and Plaid Boy Super Heroes!" someone says.  I say only one of us is a hero.  I ask plaid boy if his drawers are plaid too.  He tells me that if I win any more of his chips he'll show me.  About 20 minutes later I do. 

I had forgotten about THAT incentive until he immediately stands up and shows the top of his boxers, which are paisley.  So of course I call him ghey.  My actual words were  "Pretty panties faggot!".  I was kidding around!!!  But he looked crestfallen.  He got moved to another table and to make up for it I tell him, see you at the final table.

We fist pump and he's gone.  He ends up knocked out soon after.  Buh-bye Plaid Boy.

I make it to the final table, but only 6 places are in the money.  Through this all there's this huge guy in a green t-shirt that Plaid Boy has been calling "Green Monster".  The guy has a monster stack  and never plays a hand.  I keep telling him that I'm going to take his chips.  He keeps laughing and says "Come get them".  But he's never in a hand so I can't.  Plus I'm still 2nd shortest stack at the table.  Most other stacks are huge, so I have to tread carefully to avoid the landmines.

Blinds are huge.  3,000 & 6,000 and Green Monster finally doubles someone up.  Big chunk of his stack is gone.  Blinds go around twice and I cannot catch 2 decent cards..  I have $6,500 left and I'm first to act.  As the blinds are 6,000 it's go all in on this hand or the next.  I get Q-8 suited and it's the best thing I've seen in a while.  I'm betting my next hand will be shitty so I shove.

Green Monster is next to act and he shoves all in too!  (God Bless Him) Everyone folds, including the blinds.

My Q-8 is up against A-8 (Ace Rag!!!!)

Queen on the flop and no ace on the board.  Brown Widow's back baby!  I have 31K now.

A few hands later I have A-Q suited.  I want the blinds or to double up.  I'm still up against huge I shove.  Green Monster calls my all in and flips over K-Q suited.  I say I told you I was going to take your chips!

Note to self: Maybe I shouldn't say shit like that.  He looks hurt.  After I win that hand.  I apologize and while the dealer is shuffling I jump up and rub his shoulders to make up for it.  The dealers says he should be getting the back rub.  I say here's some incentive.  Deal me some good cards and your next.

Well I take Green Monster out and my dealer gets a 2 minute back rub.

Down to 7 of us.  6 in the money and we agree to pay off 7th, $70...he gets his buy in back.  I'm thrilled, just in case it's me, but it's not.

The guy in out sixth looks disgusted at his $10 net win (been there!) $80 for 6th place.  Then there are five.

Then there are 4.  Another big stack doubles me up when he has ace rag vs my pocket 9s.  He goes on tilt and donks his HUGE stack off.

Then 3.  One guy that I didn't play with till the final table has all the chips.  I'm 2nd and this quiet kid is shortstacked.  I tell the quiet kid that he and I are going to split this baby and he laughs.

He gets double up with QQ.  Then I get double up with ace rag.  Playing 3 handed with the blinds so big, I had to shove.  Now the blinds are 5K & 10K.  It's really anyone's game.


It's really my game.

I get Q-2 diamonds in the big blind and the guy who is now the slight chip leader calls...he's the chip leader now, but just slightly.

Flop is A diamonds, K diamonds and rag.  I've got the nut flush draw.  He didn't raise preflop so I hope he doesn't have an ace as I shove my big stack all in.

He instacalls with K-8.  I flip over my queen deuce of diamonds and start praying for a diamond.  It's time to gamble.

Turn is a 2....I've got a pair of 2s now.

River is ANOTHER 2.  Trips baby.  Villian looks like he was just kicked in the balls.

Next hand he's out when he shoves against my pocket 8s. He's out 3rd.  He says he cannot believe I could be so lucky.

Heads up.  Blinds are 10K and 20K.  I lose a pot to the quiet kid and now I have about 60% of the chips to his 40%.  It's back and forth and anyone's game.

I NEVER do this but I suggest a 50/50 split.  He's thrilled and immediately agrees.

I won $865, which makes my day a net profit of over $600.

Then the Brown Widow went home to her web.

But not before I take a picture with my favorite dealer!

Dealer finds the (2) 8's that knocked that fucker out and props them up for our photo. Dealer may just be reading this post!  I gave him the URL.

Me and My Dealer

There's a big game going on there today, but I'm staying home.  Gonna rest up for that "blindfolded" Invitiational tomorrow night.

Boys, you better watch out.  Brown Widow will be spinning her web.

Speaking of boys.....Oh Frankie!!!!  I believe I have earned my INCENTIVE!  Woot!  My Poker Stars Incentive!!!! You've got tons of cash there anyway!  ;)

Play smart.



dbcooper said...

I Like both tops. Congrats on your win...I am getting worried about Wednesday night.....

Josie said...

Hi Coop!

I think the first top was too low and the second wasn't low enough. I need a third top that's just right.

dbcooper said...

Actually I thought the first top was just about right. ha ha

Might have to hold off on that side bet until you cool off a bit LOL

Josie said...

Coop, I'm always going to be hot.

But I understand if you're afraid. Scaredy cat.

Cricket said...

Nice job again, Sista!

Got a nice new silk scarf that you could maybe borrow to polish off those amazingly huge and brilliant BALLS!


Josie said...


Memphis MOJO said...

Trips baby. Villian looks like he was just kicked in the balls.

He had been -- I can feel it from here, ouch.

Nothing wrong with this. Even if you're a lot better players, at that level *stuff* happens.

Josie said...

Yeah, I could feel it too. And you're right. It's just part of the game.

Hey Mojo, what lemme ask you something. Some people tell me they don't like the one-eyed profile phot...but I kinda don't think I should change it. You're a photog...what do you think?

dbcooper said...

Geez and I thought you only had one eye. If we see both you can't give us guys the eye anymore

Anonymous said...

First top.

Congrats on the score. Now go dump a few dollars back on Full Tilt so you can play blindfolded some more.

Memphis MOJO said...

I love it

Josie said...

Thanks Coop and Mojo. The one eye stays. Coop....SIDE BET!!!!!

Donnie, The itchy gambler in me may just listen to you and dump some money in there....but I suck at online.....till tomorrow when I win the invitational.

Lucki Duck said...

Just. Win. Baby!!!

Nice score. Congratulations!

Josie said...

Awww Thanks Duck. I'm sure as hell gonna go down fighting.

lightning36 said...


Just wishing I could have read Waffles's mind as he looked at the pictures ... he he.

Memphis MOJO said...

here's a similar one to yours that I like -- A LOT.

Josie said...

Mojo, I like that one too....very cool and pretty.

I took mine because my sister had just dyed my hair and I was trying to get a pic of the color, lol.

SirFWALGMan said...

I liked the first top.. the last pic with the dealer looked good with that top though.. the lighting makes it look like your wearing no bra and your.. um cold.. of course maybe you were wearing no bra and you were cold.

Josie said...

Damn Waffles, you're good. Correct, correct & correct.

Guess I wore the wrong top! Everyone preferred the first time, but now I know for next time.

Thanks everyone!