Monday, June 7, 2010

The Spanker Got Spanked!

Boy Does My Ass Hurt

I got my ass handed to me on Full Tilt and I didn't even swear.  Well I DID, but that was me yelling at the lap top.  No offensive language was typed by these talented fingers.

Let's start with the goddamn Battle Fucking Royale With Cheese

Although my table appeared to be a full one, at first only SuitedKings (you suck TOO) and I were actually there.  I picked up tons of those little blinds, spanked Mr. Suited Kings a little and was doing great.

Then fucking Morning Thunder shows up.  Hold up a minute.

That's your name dude?  Morning Thunder? You sound like a goddamn cup of coffee. (Mama DOES like coffee)

Anyway, I dunno Morning Thunder from Adam, except wait a minute....maybe I do.  I kinda remember him beating up on The One Who Got Away during a Mook, so maybe he's a half decent player.  Duly Noted.  But he can't outplay Mama is what I think.  And perhaps I'm right about that.

Unless you count a runner, runner win as outplaying, and I DO NOT.

At this point there are 4 actual players that showed up at my table, but it's a full one, so there are tons of blinds for stealing and we're playing 4 handed. 

I look down at 9-something.  Morning Thunder and I are the only two in this hand. 

Flop is 9-9-4.

Bet, raise, and I shove ALL IN Baby!!

Morning Glory calls me with TWO OVERS.  K-J or K-Q.  I forget which, but one of those hands.  Free Rolling Baby!  My actual thought was "I don't care if he hits his over pair.  I'm all set!"

Except the turn was a 10.

And the river was a Q (or jack) and he made an inside runner runner straight.


Then Morning Glory says "I hope you're going to be nice to me on your blog!."  What???????

I don't know this guy from fuck, do I?  Does he know me?

"Do you read my blog?"  I ask while I struggle not to throw the laptop on the floor.  Argh!!!! OF COURSE, he does!  He says "Yeah I read you.  I read Waffles so of course I read your blog too." 

So he's one of those readers that read but never comment.  There are ALOT of you guys out there.  Mama's feeling ass raped today, so you guys ought to comment.  It'd make me feel better.

Oh and Morning Bitch, how is it that I am NOT on your blog roll?  Yes I found you, and I'm not there.  Fix that shit PRONTO dude.  Add Mama.  You don't need to go thru Waffles' "I Hate My Wife" blog to find me. :)

Onto bigger things though.

Do I play the 750K event?  I have plenty of cash in my account and an itch to play.  NO I shouldn't have, but yes I did.

Got into quite a groove too.  More than doubled up very early on.  I even took a screenshot with my new screenhunter software! 

And then I pissed it away.  Now I know that the players I'm up against here are good, so I was proceeding with caution.  I took a couple of bad beats and was at about 3K. 

I raise it up big with A-J and get one caller.  Flop is J-8-3.

I bet, he raises, and I call.

Turn is Ace.  Bing! Top Two Pair!

I have less than 2K in chips so I shove All In!!!

He calls and turns over 8-3 bottom two pair.  Whew, what a relief.  I was so worried I was up against trips.

River is an 8 and I'm  out.  :( Just like that.  Easily my worst day for poker in recent memory.

Never should have played that 750K.  Hell never should have gotten out of bed.

Still have plenty in the Full Tilt account, but that's not the goddam point.  The day was so devastating I decide it may be time to take a break from online playing.


Yet, Morning Thunder might be playing The Mookie on Wednesday.  I've got a lesson to teach.  One that has NOTHING to do with money.  Just wondering if he can runner runner a win TWICE.  We shall see.  If he plays, I will too.

Play smart Bitches.



Josie said...

Morning Thundah!!! Thanks for adding me to your blog list. Wherever did you get such a great idea? :)

MorningThunder said...

Some smart lady suggested it. Had to listen.

Josie said...

Excuse me for stating the OBVIOUS, but some guy from fucking KANSAS, is delusional. :)

really have to work on the swearing thing, but blame morning glory. You are soooooo mine.

Bayne_S said...

I think unregistering from $750k gives you a $216 ticket rather than $T.

I won a supersat to $750k and when I unregistered I got a $55 ticket.

I think you have to play a tourney of that level sometime when you take the steps route so playing $750k is as good as any other choice.

Rough exits though

Josie said...


You've probably played more of them than I did, but I did win a ticket to the 750K tourney and I DID unregister for it. When I unregistered I def got T$ - 216 of them....which I ended up putting right back in. Ugh.

suitedaces said...

I need more tournies like that although it did take me too long to figure out there were only a few players sitting there. Very Josie started off raising every and I mean every hand. Without the beats she would have emassed an unsurmountable chip lead. Things were right for me. Had the top spot most of the tourney. Can't wait for the next one.

Josie said...

LOL I WAS raisng every hand, only cuz no one was there! I knew you hadn't figured it out when I saw you fold in the little blind TWICE to someone in thebig blind who wasn't there.

Where did you place?

You don't REALLY suck btw. From me, that's a compliment.

Josie said...

@ Jew Boy, look at the title under FU Morning Glory on my blog roll.

lolllll Very Josie's Very Hazy lolllll I wish

lightning36 said...

I see that you are now ready to go on to the next level of blogging: changing hand histories. Looks like you have been busted.

btw -- I object to your blatant cruelty. Writing about being spanked probably had poor Waffles already do his own spanking this morning. Poor little monkey ...

Josie said...

Light, LMAO!

I think you are the cruel one!!! Although that may be applicable to me sometimes too. ;)

Bayne_S said...

I haven't played $750k sats in a little while.

Mainly because I kept getting $55 tickets in the supersats and getting tickets when I did steps.

Being able to convert $216 tickets to $T seems like an automatic decision especially for people whose style is more conducive to getting into money rather than top 3.

Gary said...

Tee Hee
look! a pen!

Damian said...

I played the 750k once.... I took a sickie from work as the tourney starts at 8am monday morning here in oz. I spent all weekend reviewing hand histories, reading up on strategies etc The buy in was more than half my bankroll so my aim was to at least make it to the money.

First hand AKs folded to me in the SB, I raise he shoves, I call, he shows AA... gg me.

Such a stoopid call so early...

The buy-in was too rich for my blood to start with, I should never have played it.

Anyway, you gave it a good go mate, better luck next time eh?

suitedaces said...

Placed fifth. See I'll be trying to play in all the Mookie and Very Josie events.

Josie said...


Aw Damian, you made my night by commenting. Thanks!

Bummer about your 750K experience tho. :( No more using big chunks of the bankroll for me.

*grin* he called me mate, eh? lol

Josie said...

Suited, Nice!!! (esp the part about the very josie events)

The Neophyte said...

Ouch, hard way to lose Josie. But it was worth a shot and you've done so well lately too. A break won't hurt as long as you stay sharp playing live or something.

Josie said...

Well Neo, I don't know how BIG a break it's going to be. I most likely will be playing the mookie wednesday night. And a live game or two as well.

KenP said...

I don't thing Morning Thunder has anything to do with coffee.

Think flatulence.