Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Woo Woo!

Woo woos (the drink) always remind me of my bachelorette party, that my sister threw for me. I was only 23yrs old and my much more wordly 28 yr old sister decided to have the shindig at ther apartment.

She got dozens of boxes of condoms and had them filled with helium and tied with ribbons. These very phallicky balloons were floating around everywhere. She had play girl centerfolds on the wall, which we used to play "Pin the Lips on the Penis". (ouch we didn't really pin anything so much as stick lips to penises).

And in addition to all this there was a huge punchbowl of woo woo's. Which is vodka, peach schnapps and cranberry.

Now my friends are all the goody goody type. Not big partyers like my sista so she came up with a game to go with the woo woos.

Everyone had to read a tongue twister and if they messed up, WOO WOO!

You never saw 20 girls get hammered so fast! Especially me.

And then there was a knock at the door....pizza delivery!

Except he didn't bring any pizza.

And he ripped his shirt off.

Yep, my sister got me a stripper. What she DIDN'T get me was an attractive stripper! Yuck, I'm guessing he was on sale.

Saying I was drunk was an understatement! So ugly shirtless pizza boy is all up in my grill since it's my party, and he asks the girls if he should take his pants off.

Yes! from all around!

Then he says he won't take them off unless I unzip his pants with my teeth! Even in my drunken state, I'm not digging this. I try once and to do this I have to mash my face into his crotch. And I remember thinking "no fucking way. he's getting paid to be a bitch, not me!" So I refuse....yet finally, somehow, his pants are gone and he's in a g-string.

Whew glad that's over. Then he starts dancing on my lap, dancing in my face....pretty much putting his butt in my face (don't forget he's wearing a g-string) and his ass is covered in zits! Friggin' gross.

I feel like I'm gonna hurl on his ass, but make it to the bathroom.

Doesn't my sister rock? LOLLLLLLLLLLLL


Gary said...

"Yes, I'd like a large cheese and ass-pimples pizza please, and a side-order of penicillin."

Josie said...

20 years later, Butch still talks about that night. His wife, who never drinks, gave him the best sex of his life when she got home. See what woo woo's can do?

I recommend that all you gentlemen make some woo woo's for your women when you want a little something something.

dbcooper said...

Having used to drive a limo in my spare time as a second job I very wel remember the batchelorette parties. The girls were always wider and much more fun than any guy parties I drove around.

dbcooper said...

I meant to say WILDER not wider... Yikes!!!

Josie said...

LOL I thought that's what you meant DB. You know what DB stands for, right? :)