Monday, October 3, 2011

Groovy Movie & Stuff

My kind of bridesmaids

It's funny.  As much as I like to read chick lit (yes I do but don't tell anyone) I'm just not a big fan of chick flicks.  That's why I never ran out to see Bridesmaids.  It seemed like a movie that would have Kate Hudson in it, giggling her way up the aisle with a 5 carat rock and a 30K Vera Wang gown working against her like gravity.

I was wrong.

The movie was "spray your diet coke out your nose" funny.  These were real women too.  In fact if I squinted just so, I could've sworn this was the same group of women I went away with for our goddesses weekend.  I shiat you not.  What a pleasant and hilarious surprise.  To give you a bit of the movie's flavor, here are some quotes that had me laughing.

You're really doing it, aren't ya? You're shitting in the street!

I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.
Annie's Mom: I'm sure she meets him in the evening, beaver first.

Annie: "George.. George Glass" (like the brady bunch!  that's effing hilarious)
Megan's idea for a bachelorette party: Female fight club. We grease up - surprise! Beat the crap out of her.
I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.
Alright, I've been avoiding the inevitable for long enough....Guess who kicked who's ass at football this week?  Need help?  Here's a hint:

Angry?  Fantasy?  Nerd?  Why it's Waffles!

Seriously, I want to know who the heck is making Waffles' picks because it cannot be him.  Not only did he kick my butt again this week, had he been in my pool he would've won for the week.  Yep that's right, he's kicked 30 butts this week.  OMFG  He would've won $100! 

I'll post final numbers after Monday night's game, not that it would help me.  At the moment I have 92 points and Waffles has a whopping 114.  This doesn't even count the points on Monday night's game.  Freaking freaky, and perhaps amazing too.  Blah. 

You know if I were a guy, and I wanted an angry Sicilian woman to like me, I'd LOSE for a few weeks.  But that's me.

Eli Elezra.  If you follow professional poker you know him.  He's the guy that sniffs a rose when he's playing poker.  I don't like him anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I was never a huge fan.  He's no Phil Ivey or anything, but I never disliked him before either.

I was watching some poker On Demand.  Day 6 of the main event of the WSOP and all of a sudden the camera cut to Elezra who was all in with J-J.  Seeing him shocked me because...well.....take a look yourself.

What the fuck is that on his head?

He was wearing that POS logo larger than his big fucking head.  Can you believe that?  My first thought was to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps I was watching the 2010 WSOP?  Nope I was watching day 6 of 2011 main event which took place in July.

Now he isn't wearing that ugly hat for his health.  He's wearing it because he was paid to wear it.  Paid by Full Jilt.  With my money! (yeah and yours too whatev.  all eyes back on Josie)  How could he accept money from those crooks knowing that money was dirty?  Yeah, yeah, he's a poker player and poker players love money but that just doesn't cut it for me.  If he didn't care about integrity then how about his image?  He's aligning himself and his image with them?  For what price did he sell his image?  I'm sorry (not really) but don't rub that logo in the faces of thousands of American WSOP viewers who have been jilted by Full Tilt.  Very uncool.  I'm up to episode 12 right now and I'm hoping Eli and his hat don't make it much further.

What else is going on?  I've been invited to go down to Foxwoods with someone who's dying to get into my pants.  No, not YOU or YOU.  My gal Lynne, who runs the poker league, is heading down there with a bunch of women and is dying for me to go too.  It's always good to have a bunch of friends at the casino, and truly if any man yelled at me when Lynne was around, I'd feel bad for the men.  That woman has more muscles than Arny.  If you've seen Arnold lately I suppose that isn't really saying much but you know what I mean.  She's a frigging bodybuilder for goodness sakes.  She has muscles on  her muscles!  Actually last time I was playing at her house the brothers (big black men) were telling a story about how they always call Lynne to help move their furniture and then she ends up doing it all by herself.  Seriously.  So a trip would Lynne and her gang would be great but there's an issue.

Lynne's all chick Foxwoods trip is in place so they/we can all play the Ladies Event at Foxwoods during the WPT Finals.  The Ladies Event is on Oct 22nd at 11am.  SEE SCHEDULE.  The thing is Ladies Events suck imho.  I played one Ladies Event at Foxwoods about 6 years ago and it was horrible!  I'm sorry to say this and make this blanket statement but the majority of women do not play well.  I don't mind one or two women at my table, but a table full?  No thank you.  I just wouldn't enjoy it so I told Lynne this.  She didn't seem to mind so long as I went along with them, and I will. 

But what will I do there?

I could play 1-2 NL obv and I will.  But here's the thing.  The Ladies Event is at 11am and there's another event that starts at noon.  At $1,500 the buy in is not within my bankroll range though.  Boo!!!!!!  A smart woman wouldn't consider dipping that far into her bankroll, but..........I am tempted.

I just have to figure out a way to win the $1,500 between now and October 22nd.  If I won an extra $1,500 between now and then, there's no reason I couldn't play it.  I guess it's time for 1-2NL.

Play smart.



SirFWALGMan said...

You can always use my picks for your football pool.. then at least you would make some cash. :).

Josie said...

Whore. I actually had that same thought last night when I discovered you would've won.

Amazing picks man. And um, you suck.

lightning36 said...

And to think -- the cry used to be "Fade Waffles." Now it is "Fade Joe C?"

Wow -- I finally get a link, albeit not in the way I would usually want one.

Just print what everyone already knows and your conscience might feel better. All the bloggers know you want me in the worst way possible. Lord knows what that might mean.

Josie said...

Light bulb,

I will kick waffles butt. this is a marathon not a sprint. Dumb luck can only win for so long.

There's nothing "worst" about it. :P

Wolfshead said...

Cracked up looking at the fantasy nerd picture. Swear it was a guy I used to know back in my AOL days

Wolfshead said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josie said...

LOL Ewwww You knew an ugly guy!

TJStier said...

Re: Eli Elezra's hat. Before you beat the guy up too badly you should probably take down the thing that advertises your touranment "Very Josie" on...Full Tilt Poker. Not trying to be an a-hole just pointing out something I noticed.

Josie said...

Wrong TJ! Bad TJ!

I received zero compensation for the buttons on my post. Big diff.

please comment again though as next time I will be super nice! xoxo

Wolfshead said...

Hey, I am an ugly guy

Josie said...

No you aren't! Trust me, I'm an expert on this!