The rope that's wrapped around me
Is cutting through my skin
And the doubts that have surrounded me
Are finding their way in
I keep it close to me
Like a holy man prays
In my desperate hour
It's better, better that way
I've crept into your temple (casino)
I have slept upon your pew
I've dreamed of the divinity
Inside and out of you
I want it more than truth
I can taste it on my breath
I would give my life just for a little death
I'm sure Ms. Melissa Etheridge was talking about some hot woman, but the song speaks volumes to me about my feelings of this tournament. I do want it more than truth and yes, I can taste it, but the doubts...
Is my competition a better class of player because it's a WPT event? Am I in over my head?
I think these peeps will be a bit better than I'm used to but I'm NOT over my head dammit! And maybe, just maybe, they aren't used to the likes of me.
I plan on changing up my play: tight, aggressive, tight. And since they don't know me I also plan on appearing weak and helpless, which is the perfect trap. In the beginning anyway. The weak image never seems to last long.
The other thing bothering me.....the back to back trips. When I booked the second trip, it looked like a fine idea on the calendar, but in reality it was dumb. I have to pack tonight because tomorrow I leave for my goddesses weekend. I get home late Sunday afternoon and then leave for AC Monday morning. This means last minute packing Sunday night.
I have so much stuff to get done before I go too! Want to see my to do list, which is sitting on my desk?
1. Get hair done. (that's tonight)
2. Get nails done. (I may have to do this Sunday afternoon when I get home)
3. Eyebrows waxed. (ouch!)
4. Buy new book for flight. (worst case, I can get one at the airport)
5. Buy juice, booze and food for girls weekend.
6. Submit football picks for my league.
7. Submit football pick for Lucki Duck's contest.
8. Buy something for each Goddess. (I thought it would be nice if I got everyone matching bracelets or something but I'm running out of time! Anyone have any other ideas?)
9. Download some new songs from Itunes, including "I'm a Bitch" by Meredith Brooks.
10. Write note for Evan. (Done!)
13. Pack again for second trip.
Once I get everything done I expect to feel less anxious and more like my old self....you know a legend in my own mind...which is the perfect attitude with which to win a tournament. Besides, I have to do it for Wolfie. Believe me, you wouldn't want to be Wolfie, giving me an hour long ride to the airport, if I lose.
Hell, I was no cup of tea on the ride home from Foxwoods, the day after I won. Just ask my sister!
Play smart. That's really all I can do....besides win.