Sophia just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophia. Luigi's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luigi took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophia ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luigi's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Sophia", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luigi took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophia ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luigi took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luigi's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luigi took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophia saw this, she ran downstairs.
"Mama, Mama, Luigi's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell ifhis bride-to-be is still a virgin. His doctor says, "Mario, all theItalian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit - A small can of red paint, a smallcan of blue paint and a shovel."
Mario asks, "And what do I do with thesethings, doc?" The doctor replies, "Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other testicleblue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of testicles I've ever seen!', you hit her with the shovel."