Monday, September 26, 2011

Smack! (not the kiss kind)


Below is a conversation I had with a creep while playing in a tournament at Harrah's.  First let me set up the scene and then you'll get the conversation verbatim as it's been burned into my brain, unfortunately.

This was the first night at AC.  I'd been playing in a tournament and just made it to the final table with plenty of chips.  I'd just taken out a guy by slow playing a goot hand and his buddy was to my immediate right.  A few hands later I was in a hand heads up with the guy to my right.  I had top pair baby kicker and set out a feeler bet.  The man responded with a pot sized reraise.

Ugh.  That's the problem with playing crappy cards.  Even if you hit top pair that crappy kicker can make you think you have the worst hand.

I put him on top pair with a better kicker than a 3 (my hand) so I fold.  He flips over his cards and shows his bluff.  So I playfully smack him on the arm.  Gary you know where, right?  Now let me say that if it's someone I know, like Gary, he'll get a smack with a little something behind it, but for a stranger like this guy (I'd just gotten to this table) gets just a love tap with nothing behind it.

He gives me a look that could kill (oops) and says......

"If you touch me again, I'll hit you back!"

Now this is a big guy that probably hadn't seen 200 lbs since elementary school.  Normally I'd think he was kidding but the look in his eyes was rage.  WTF!

Very Josie: "Excuse me?"

Big Guy: "I said if you touch me again I'll hit you back."

VJ: "That little tap really hurt you huh?" I ask incredulously.  I barely touched him, honest!

BG: "No it didn't hurt but I'll hit any man, woman or child who hits me."

VJ: "What a minute.  You're telling me you hit women and children? A big guy like you?  And you're advertising that?"

BG: "Yeah."

A couple minutes later BG asks me something....I forget what but it was something akin to polite conversation and he was waiting for an answer.  I had my headphones on and ignored his attempts.  By the 3rd attempt I respond.

VJ: "I'm sorry but I can't talk to you.  I don't talk to men who hit children, or women for that matter.  I hope you understand".

Silence for a couple of minutes and then....

BG:  I was just kidding about hitting kids you know.

VJ: "I can't hear you!  I don't talk to men like YOU.

Did I bring this on myself?  Probably.  I've hit ALOT of men at the poker table.  More than you can imagine and I swear to you they normally love it!  It feeds their ego that they've outsmarted me enough to get such a reaction, plus men LOVE being touched.....even if it is a smack.  In all my years of smacking I remember only one other situation when the guy objected.

Anyway, Wolfie has some great poker recaps about our play at AC.  Stop on by and read about the awesomeness that is Very Josie.

READ ABOUT JOSIE IN ATLANTIC CITY HERE.

Play smart and nonviolently.

Josie

23 comments:

Bayne_S said...

Where are football pick results?

I don't like being hit either. My parents were old school "spare the rod spoil the child types" and I have had instances where I swing 1st and see who I am hitting later.

Josie said...

Wow maybe you should join Waffles for a bit-o-therapy. And blaming your parents doesn't cut it for me.

Hmmmm my results were crappy but I can post them. Check back tomorrow.

lightning36 said...

"Did I bring this on myself?"

Likely. As a woman, you take liberties that guys can't take without being called creepy or having the gendarmes called. Many guys resent this.

You are not going to be every guy's "buddy" when you are playing aggro and probably making your share of comments also.

Keepa yer hands offa people you do not know. Capiche?

Josie said...

Nah, it's impossible to keep my hands to myself. Just ask anyone. Besides this is a rare occurence (the i beat women and kids reaction).

Of course I brought it on myself but it's all part of the game and getting opponents on tilt.

I do find it comical after the fact that my "big punishment" for him was that he didn't get to converse with me anymore. LOL Ooooo the poor guy!

Gary said...

"I was just kidding about kids. I only hit women...what am I, some kind of animal?"

Yeesh.

Josie said...

LOL Yeah in that case, let's get all cozy together!

lightning36 said...

"... it's all part of the game and getting opponents on tilt."

Then don't be surprised when guys think you are a biatch (and I used a polite word here).

R. Jacob said...

rule number one

You are there to take everyone's money.

rule number two
There is no number two.

Gary said...

Lightning, it's 'capisce,' not capiche. Like encouraging Jo to keep her hands to her self isn't 'stunad,' it's 'stonato.'

Josie said...

Lightning, See R. Jacob's comment. It seems he's figured me out, unlike you.

Wolfshead said...

Btw, don't think your fans are getting your whole story even tho my titles do say that it's in parts. They are riding your link to the one post and just reading that.. Just thought I would let you know

Josie said...

Hmmm Their loss I suppose. Hopefully they'll noodle it out soon enough.

lightning36 said...

To Josie and R. Jacob: I do not agree. I believe in words like sportsmanship and integrity. Otherwise you are just another angleshooter at the table. Don't be surprised when you get called out at the table, then.

And Josie, I have had you figured out for some time. I like you despite your flaws. We can't all be flawless like ... maybe I should stop talking now ... : o )

And Gary -- I was speaking English, not Italian.

"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns."

Josie said...

I have oodles of integrity as I hope you know. When I'm at the felt I play to win. Period. Nothing unethical about that as there is no cheating involved.

Gary said...

Josie hitting a stranger on the arm isn't angleshooting, it's what she does to become table captain. This one guy didn't like it, so what?

And Light, you can go ahead and say it: flawless like Gary. And btw take it easy on the ol' ticker because you definitely BOO! Oh, sorry man, hope that didn't scare you...

Josie said...

Heh.

lightning36 said...

Was THAT what I was going to say Gary? I think not. Your flaw is defending Josie no matter what. She's a big girl -- she can defend herself. She may have to reach up just to slug a guy in the ankle, but still ...

Shit -- I miss the trash talking from the VJ and the Mookie Dank!

Josie said...

I miss the trash talking too Light!

Gary said...

I'm an old-fashioned guy, Lightning; that's what friends do. Hey, if I knew you for as long as I knew Josie I'd be defending you too - against charges of pointing out people's flaws with such a quickness. Remember: no conversation ends well that begins with "you know what your problem is?" or "your flaw is..."

Another thing to remember is that BOO! Oh, hope I didn't scare you there...

SirFWALGMan said...

Touching people is bad. Waffles dis-approves. Well, unless it's like, that special kind of touch baby.. oooh yeah..

Anyways now that I am back from my fantasy.. that guys reaction was totally douche bag. What a moron.

So you were both wrong in my opinion. You for not learning when your mom said "Josaphena keeepah ya hands to yourself" and the douche for not just saying "Excuse me young lady but I would rather you not hit me. It makes me feel uncomfortable".

SirFWALGMan said...

P.S. I thoughts that Jacobs shithead was going to not ready your filthy immoral blog anymore?

Josie said...

he didn't say he wouldn't read it - just that he was removing it from his. booooo

lightning36 said...

Gary: My station in life is to be a mixer ala Paul's grandfather in A Hard Day's Night.