Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm Late, I'm Late!

Hello my pets,

Excuse the late posting.  I was up late last night, attempting a bit of writing which meant I didn't get to the office as early as I would've liked, this morning.  Ah well.  We have loads to cover my friends, so strap on (hee hee, i said strap-on!)  your seat belt; it's going to be a longish ride.

Football - Yes, I know posting about football picks is boring if you aren't playing, yet I must do it.  Feel free to skip down to the good stuff, if you'd like.

The Patriots 16
San Fran 15
New Orleans 14
Green Bay 13
Baltimore 12
Chicago 11
Dallas 10
Tampa Bay 9
Jets 8
Pittsburgh 7
Miami 6
Atlanta 5
Minnesota 4
Buffalo 3
Seattle 2 (i hope you guys went with the philly eagles.  lol suckers!)
Jacksonville 1 (i bet you went with San Diego chargers, didn't ya?  sucker!)

Speaking of football - SOMEONE was whining about how I don't listen to him.  As it happens, what he says is true.  I was doing great in Lucky Duck's Football Contest and Waffles told me to pick some lame ass pick and instead I went with what I thought was a sure thing.  His lame ass pick won and my 'sure thing' knocked me out of the contest.  GG Very Josie!  So this week I decided to let Waffles choose my pick for LuckiDuck's contest.  Thankfully, he picked an awesome team - The New England Patriots.  They better frigging win or else Waffles will be looking more retarded* than usual when I'm done with him.

I went to see my mom after work last night and I'm going again tonight.  Blah. Today would've been my brother's birthday.  It's a day that usually gets me very down, but I think this is the first birthday since he's passed away where I'm feeling okay.  Thankfully.  And um, it's been 14 years.  So I'll spend time with Mom tonight and get home far too late....blah.  She is making me some turkey vegetable soup so that'll be good.  Of course she'll insist I bring a few gallons home with me but that's okay.  Last night she was saying some stuff that had me thinking "I'm so gonna post this shit" but I can't remember what it was!  I am sooo getting old.

Poker - no actual poker games to speak of at the moment, but I may be posting a kind of bland, vanilla post about poker that you might find interesting (or not).

Work is work.  What's new is I am in a bit of a frenzy trying to plan our holiday party, which is on December 16th.  Somehow the whole thing is my responsibility even though this is in no way part of my job.  See what happens when you help someone out and take personal satisfaction in a job well done?  You get it thrown on you.  Anyway, I just finished picking the menu with the caterer, who's been kissing my butt to get me to pick them.  Damn but I like getting my ass spanked kissed. I went with the butt kissers who are giving me free delivery and free rentals, as well as a tote bag and christmas cookies for moi.  Cookies?!?  Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out, but I can usually shut her up with cookies.  :)  Actually I'm doing pretty well diet wise other than the massive pig out on Thanksgiving, so there's that.

Want to hear the menu?  Get a drool cup ready!

Jumbo mushrooms stuffed with wilted baby spinach and garlic herb cheese
Grilled salmon with a lemon buerre blanc sauce
Lolliop lambchops with a brown mustard glaze
Steak au poivre
Roasted root vegetables
Green beans
herbed rice pilaf (they suggested mashed potatoes but blah)
garden salad
rolls, butter
carrot cake cream cheese frosting and chocolate torte with a silky chocolate ganache

Mmmmmm now I just need to order the champagne.

Every year we have a game at the party.  This year I chose to do a baby contest.  Why?  Because I love babies, kiddos and people in work support my habit by sending me pics of their kids.  So everyone must submit a baby photo of themselves or their child, grandchild, niece/nephew etc.  We'll post the photos at the party and everyone votes for the cutest baby.  The winner gets a $100 gift card to.....somewhere.  I have to pick up the gift card too.  omfg

Wanna see a sample of one of the cutie pies?  This little boy is about 6 months old.

Little angel, right?  It's going to be war around here because all these men and women think they're kid is the cutest.  But I (as usual) have the ace up my sleeve - baby photos of Sugar Bear.  These kids can't hold a candle to him!  He was the world's cutest baby.  *sigh* I love babies....and um, poker. and booze and the patriots, and the red sox, and money, and challenges and COOKIES.

Play smart.


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Soul Mate

At long last, I've found my soulmate, or rather my soulmate has found me.  It's true! (at least I thought so yesterday) And unlike some other people, my soulmate is not a cat.  Heck,to my surprise, it's not even a man!  Lemme splain.

I noticed that I had a new follower yesterday, which makes for 31. (I rock) Anyway, I clicked on the new follower....a woman.....and the more I read about her....well it was like looking in a freaking mirror!  The first thing she says about herself...."F-Bomb dropping poker player."  And then she ends with "I shit glamour".

Wow.  That could soooo be a description of me!  And what a gem of a line!  Honestly, I thought I was in love.  With a girl.  And then I see she has like 3 blogs and one of them's a poker blog.  Bestill my beating heart.  And the name of the poker blog?

Glitter and Spit.  The Kim Shannon Poker Experience.

Again, wow.  At least until I clicked on it.  Unfortunately there weren't any posts.  Yet.  Boo!!!!!!  So I had to click on her other blog, which is called Glaring Madness.  I started reading but she scares me!  So I had to close it.

She does scare me...a little.  And she cracks me up too.  She has a post for men called "She's just not that into you if....."

1. Another guy's dick is in her mouth.  Heh.
2. If you paid money for her.  Hookers don't fall in love.

The other reasons are more risque (omfg it's true) so I will stop here.  Besides, I'm scared.

If she starts that poker blog of hers, I'll be out of business.

Play smart and don't scare me!


Monday, November 28, 2011


Another killer week for me at football.  Killer.  I won for the week in my larger league, which means I'll be getting $125 shipped to me.  More than the cost for playing all year.  Wheeee!!!  And I have it won, regardless of whether New Orleans wins or not tonight.  No sweating out Monday Night Football.  I have alot more winning to do if I want to cash for the end of year prizes though.

Here's the first email the commissioner sent out to the league:  It's a sad night.... having count on the Chiefs to keep Josie from winning !

And then: Nightmares come true! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh yes! Out of a possible 136 points for the 16 games, I lost only 10 points.  I shiat you not.  I lost my 1, 2 & 7.  That's it.  I have 3 points on New Orleans for tonight.  Only 3.
As far as the blogger football league goes, I've won for the week here too....beating Waffles' entire family, including his surrogate father, Bayne.  The only question is how much will I win by?  Will I beat Waffles by 18 points or 25 points?  Will I beat his son by 37 points or 45 points?  Stay tuned.  Those weren't even the biggest wins!  Bayne is at a steady loss of either 20 or 21 points.

Speaking of losing....did anyone watch the Patriots/Eagles game last night?  OMFG what a game.  The Eagles came out swinging with a quick 10 point lead over the Patriots, but then they choked, while the Pats came to life.  Vince Young surely ain't no Michael Vick.  I am sooo not a Vick fan, but the guy can and does think on his feet.  Instincts and a sharp mind go a long way in this game.  It seems to me that Vick won't be playing next week either.  Heh.  Regardless Tom was his usual terrific self with his golden arm.  He actually ran a bit (a little bit) too.  *sigh* He's called Tom Terrific for a reason.  Go Pats!

Since I'm spewing good news, I'll tell you about some work related news, which makes me happy.  There's a man who's been working here almost as long as I have.  I'm guessing he's been here for about 7 years.  Seven long years and today it was just announced that HE IS AN ARCHITECT.


He's been working towards this goal the whole time he's been here and just passed his last test.  Awesome professional achievement.  This means he goes from being a peon who works very long hours for the bottom wrung of the ladder in terms of pay.  To put it in perspective, this guy who's had about 10 years of post high school education will go from making much less money than me, while working 40% more hours, to making much more than me, God willing.  He also happens to be the guy who is a Mormon, and regards consumption of caffeine and alcohol among other things (like swearing and gambling), a sin.  And he's my buddy.  :)  I am more powerful than religion!  lol jk.  When he started here I used to send him out to pick up beer and wine for our Friday presentations.  Usually the last one in gets to be a peon and do tasks such as that.  About 6 months into him being the beer run guy, he pulled me aside to explain that he felt uncomfortable being in a liquor store and buying booze on a weekly basis.

"Negro, that's all you had to say!"

Okay I didn't really say that, but I did apologize.  I figured he just couldn't imbibe, without realizing that he may not want to hang in a packy.  LOL  He hangs around my office so much, he's glimpsed at this here blog a time or two and asked for the URL.  Um, no!

"Why?" he'd ask.

"Do you realize, how many sins, you'd commit if you read it?  You have no idea."


"Gambling, profanity, even some sexual innuendo.....I even mention my love for coffee and diet coke".  (two drinks that are uber taboo in the Mormon community)

"That's okay....."


One day he told me he'd been promoted to a High Stake Counselor in his.....religion.  I was like "Wow,  High Stakes, that's really good....that's big time."  And he has the cutest little daughters that love to visit me because A.)I'm cool B.) I have a candy jar at my desk and C.) I give them free stuff.  Anyway congrats to him and his major career accomplishment.  It's a big deal in a firm like ours.

Not as big as say, kicking ass in a football league, but big nonetheless.

Play smart.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

Slogan Generator

This thingy cracks me up.   You put in a word, like "Josie" and this random slogan generator comes up with an advertising slogan for you.  How cool is that?  This blog can always use some PR so I thought, why not?

I put in Josie and they came up with this for MY SLOGAN. (A taste of Josie)

Ahem, maybe that's not the best slogan.  I realized my error and this time I put in "Very Josie" to get my NEW SLOGAN. (50% more Very I've gained weight!  No thank you!)

Ugh.  Not a big fan of that either.  Hmmmmm  I decided to re-do....even though I'm a firm believer that the first answer is usually the right answer.  This time not so much.  I am very happy with my REDO.  That's my new motto. (Behold the Power of Very Josie! has a nice ring to it!)

I think you guys may need a new slogan yourself and being the kind, generous person I am, I have decided to deliver.  The slogans below were made by the same slogan generator, NOT ME.

MOJO - Mojo Comes to Those Who Wait. (Imma waiting)
Lightning - Top Breeders Recommend Lightning (obv)
Waffles - Change Your Whole Waffles
Acorn man - Do You Eat The Acorn Man Last?
Crafty Southpaw - Feel The Crafty Southpaw Please.
Hoyazo - If Only Everything in Life Was as Reliable as a Hoyazo
Wolfshead - Don't Live a Little, Live a Wolfshead.
Edgie - The NonSticky, Sticky Edgie (ROFL)
The Wife - Lightening The Wife
Julius Goat - Only Julius Goat Has The Answer
KenP - It Must Be KenP.
Bayne - Give The Dog a Bayne. (ROFL)

Keep in mind, these were first time slogans - it's not like I searched and searched, yet I found them to be right on the money!  I mean Hoyazo should have that slogan tattooed on his ass! (LLB anyone?)  And if not him, then def Julius Goat....and the rest of you guys.  Since it was so right on the mark, I decided to see how it handled the following:

Sugar Bear - Get The Sugar Bear Out! (as if!  he's staying with mama till he's 40!)
Cricket - The Coolest Cricket On Ice. (okay this thingy is working again)
Jman - Behold The Power of Jman. (I will kick his butt! behold this!)

Speaking of Sugar Bear, he's sitting next to me watching American Pickers, and randomly asks me out of the blue if I've read Boobs Injuries and Dr. Pepper lately.  I tell him that no, I haven't, because she doesn't post anymore....she shut down her blog.

Sugar Bear was disappointed.  "That's the only blog that ever interested me".

"Hmmm, wonder why...."

"No, not because of that!  All the other blogs you read are like "Trips on the flop, double down, sailboats, jam to the fold.  Oh and I don't know you at all but let's meet in vegas.  we can pretend we know each other and then I'll jam you in my van.  That'll be safe right? Sure, let's meet in vegas.  I mean we both speak poker!"

LOL He had me cracking up.  I think that's because I was talking to Lightning the other day about Vegas, and just to gauge his reaction I asked Evan if he minded me hitting Vegas for a couple of days.....which I'd never do so soon after the AC trip.  The key to skedaddling for a couple of days is to make sure the peeps you leave behind are sick of you.  To accomplish this you cannot have trips too close together.  Soon enough he'll be dying for me to leave him alone for a day or two....and then....FOXWOODS!"

Biatches, each and every one of you mother fuckers better start thinking FOXWOODS.  Those New Yawkers think they showed me how to go deep in a tourney.  Bah!  It's time to show New Yawk where real tourney playas come from.  I'm talking Boston! Or erm....Pennsylvania, Illinois, Indiana, Tennessee (looking at you mr. retirement) or even, God help me, Rhode Island.  But really, it's Boston.

Play smart and start thinking about sneaking away for a tourney at Foxwoods.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Cowboy Blues

If you're at my blog reading about the cowboy blues you know I'm talking 'bout kings, right?  They killed me last night, absolutely killed me.  In fact I should start a new blog called How NOT to play KK.  OMFG

Yesterday (Friday) at the last minute I decided I had a hankering to play a tournament, so I texted Gary to see if Tootsie would let him out to play.  She did.  I sometimes think Tootsie has thoughts like "God bless Josie for getting Gary outa this house and giving me a few hours of peace and quiet."  Hmmmm maybe, maybe not.  Anyway, we headed up to the Seabrook Poker Room for the 6:30pm $90 tourney.  Fun times.

My plan going in was to be careful and last a long time.  No unecessary gambles, I promised myself.  After about the first hour I was a slight chip leader, playing selectively and well.  A new guy came to the table just as I got QQ.  I raised it up to $500.  The newbie and one other guy came along.  Flop was A-x-x.  I bet out $500 and the newbie raised it up to 2K.  The ladies hit the muck very quickly.

A few hands later I get K-K.  The first guy to act raises to $450 and i reraise to $1100.  Two guys call me in addition to the initial raiser.  There are 4 of us looking at a flop which was J-7-3 two crubs.  First guy to act bets 2K and I raise to 5K.  Newbie jams all in.  The other guy, the one I'd been playing with and had a feeling for how he played, also jammed all in.  Initial better folds. 


I think aloud saying the 2nd guy to jam all in, has a flush draw, but the other guy......jams all in after a raise and a reraise....what's he got?  It ain't A-J.  No one but a moron does that with tptk, considering the situation.  No one is shortstacked.

I figure the first guy for trips....maybe even A-A and the second guy for a flush draw.

First guy calls a clock on me.....

Do I fold or call?  I sooo didn't want to do anything stupid so early, and really what can I beat?  OMFG.  I fold my K-K face up.  First guy has ace rag, both crubs and the second guy has king rag, both clubs.  Jeezus!

We look at the turn and its a heart.  As is the river.  First guy wins with ace high.  I threw away the winner.  OMFG.

I had about 7K of mychips in that pot two, plus I would've taken those two guys out.  I don't panic though as I have about 15K left and we started with 12K.  No biggie.  I clamp down and win a few small pots.....

And then K-K AGAIN.

Same idiot newbie guy.  At this point he's lost most of the chips from that pot and has a bit less than me.  Can you imagine?

So I have K-K again and this time I smooth call knowing he's desperate and steaming from losing the last 5 or so pots.  I smooth call as does someone else and he jams all in.  Awesome.  Just as I thought he would.

I jam all in over the top and the other guy folds.  He flips over Q-J off suit and I flip over my cowboys.  He concedes that I'm rightfully getting my chips back and we look at a flop.

First card shown is a K.  :)

and behind that, an ace and a 10.  Yep, he flopped broadway.   After teh turn I had outs out the kazoo, flush outs in addition to the board pairing for a full house, but nope.  I handed most of my stack to that same guy.

I was out soon enough....played a sit & go and came in 3rd place even though the guy who came in second knew nothing about poker except that a flush beats a straight.  no one's fault but mine.  I at least cashed though.

Play smart....or drunk, which can also be profitable.  If you don't believe me, then read THIS HERE.


Friday, November 25, 2011

Friday Night

Friday in Atlantic City was a bit of a wasted day.  By "wasted" I mean no poker was played (till night) and I didn't get much done.  I did check out of Borgata and Wolfie and I headed over to Absecon (sp?) to check in at a Marriott Fairfield, which was 5 min away and quite cheap.  But before check in we headed to Ocean City as Wolfie needed 17 buckets of caramel corn and I wanted to get Sugar Bear a souvenir.  Last time I went to AC I brought him those little ketchup and mustard bottles that you get with room service.  I promised him something better this time.  The problem was there was nothing at Borgata that he'd like, or in Absecon for that matter, so I was hoping Ocean City would be the answer.

Not so.

It was a beautiful day but 98% of the shops were closed.  The only things open were Mank & Manco's Pizza, the caramel corn place and a jewelry store.  Blah.  Nothing for a 13 yr old boy.***  And it took us forever to find and "open" caramel corn place.  OMFG Anyway, after we had a few metric tons of caramel corn on board we had "linner".....a combo of lunch and dinner, at a nice seafood place.  I got some yummy shrimp and a salad, which was delish.  BTW I had shrimp 2 days in a row at the Borgata food court as well.  I think I'm all shrimped out.

Wolfie had something fucking gross.


He had snails.

Double Ugh. I have a weak stomache!  Future selections will have to be preapproved by moi! Last time I was in AC with Wolfie he had "scrapple" with his breakfast.  Another double ugh.   Next time the only thing Wolfie will be allowed to order is chicken parmigiana - whether it be for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

But I digress....

We checked in and decided to hit the Taj Majal poker room.  There was a daily tourney that night and we figured it would be good to see a different poker room - different from Borg or Harrah's.

I did NOT like the Taj poker room and will probably never return.  It was small and had an air of desperation about it.  My tourney wasn't starting for about a half hour and they weren't accepting buy ins at that point, so I bought some redbirds to sit down at the 1-2 NL game.  The guy that sold me the chips was an Indian (dot, not feather).  He wished me luck and then told me he'd give me special luck.  With that, he prayed over my chips for me.  Quite seriously might I add.  When it was over he handed me the chips and murmured "Special luck for you".

Oooooooo  Never look a gift horse in the mouth!

I sat down at the table, ready to begin my night of drinking.  I hadn't been drinking the whole trip and baby, it was time.  As soon as the waitress came over I placed my order.  "A pino grigio please".

We don't have that.

"Oh, what kind of wine do you have?"

We don't have wine.

What. The. Fuck.

That's how dingy a place the Taj Mahal Poker Room was.

So instead of having a nice few glasses of wine, I was forced to drink TEQUILA.  Insert picture of wheels falling off.....but not just yet.

The table seemed quite happy about my second choice of drink.  I hadn't played a hand yet.....until I was the big blind.  I had 6-3 diamonds on the button.  First 4 peeps fold and then a guy makes it $10 to go.  One other guy calls and I decide to defend my big blind, and throw in another $8 for shits and giggles.

Flop is 4diamonds, 2diamonds and a jack.  Original raiser makes it $20 and the other guy folds.  I call with a flush draw, inside straight draw and the highly  unlikely inside straight flush draw.

Turn is the 5 of diamonds!  Straight flush!  I think about the guy praying over my chips and smile.  The guy bets another $20 and I raise it up to $50.....thinking he can't fold to such a small raise.

He bets the river and I jam all in.  He's a loud mo' fo' and he's talking away.  Finally he ends his rant with "You have shit.  Absolute shit.  I know you have nothing but I'm going to fold this anyway."

I turn over my straight flush and say "If you call this shit..."

He erupted like a mad man.  Like a crazy person.  "Why were you even in this hand?  How could you call my raise with that?"  Screaming.  He has a bit of chips left and he scooped them up and left.  Walked out of the poker room.  2 minutes later he comes running back in just to yell at me more.  "And how do you call my bet after the flop? You shouldn't even be playing"  On and on.  He actually left again, and came back again, just to rant some more.  Crazy guy that said he'd had alot of bad beats that night. 

Anyway, at this point I signed up for the tourney, which was only 15 peeps.  Blah. I had 7 peeps at my table and 5 of them had just come from a texas holdem lesson/seminar.  I shit you not.  They were clutching the handouts they'd just received and had papers that said they'd "passed".  WTF.  Why did I sign up for this?  This is not a tournament!!!  Thank God the lovely tequila lady (the waitress) kept me in mind, which helped the pain a bit.....but not enough.  The guy to my left was a giggler.  A giggler that was in every fucking hand.  And he giggled at every move he made and every win.  He was winning alot too.  In the first hour he called an all in with A-9 offsuit and won.  And then he won with J-5....and took a peep out.  You could raise to a gazillion and he would call.  He'd call even before he amassed his huge stack, so at this point it was a no brainer for him.  The giggling was just killing me though.  I had both ear pods in and the volume blasting yet it couldn't quite cover the noises coming from him completely.

I decided to do the only thing I could in this situation.  Wait for a big hand and shove, knowing I'd get called.  Sure enough just that happened.  Twice.  3 hours later I took the giggler out myself with K-K.  At that point he'd lost all of his chips so it was no great feat but it made my day.  As soon as he left, the guy in the 4 seat, an indian (feather, not dot) smiles at me and says "You didn't like him, did you?"

Erm, no.

"You're nice.  I like you." he tells me, with a big shit eating grin.  He had a wicked cool Indian name, which I completely forget, unfortunately.  Perhaps that's because I kept calling him "Playing with Fire" and "Dances with Josie".  lol.  I am soooo PC.

In the end......I didn't cash.  There were only 2 peeps in the money for this "tournament" and 4 hours later I was A.) Out in 4th place and B.) Wicked drunk.

Time to visit my boy Wolfie!

Wolfie was playing something like Omaha High Low with a Twist for Alot of Money. Something like that.  Something I do not know how to play.  Actually, I think it was a $10-$20 limit game with a kill.  Ever heard of a kill?  Me neither!  Till that game, anyway.

So I was watching Wolfie playing *yawn* when a spot opened up at the table.  There was a long list waiting for that spot, but don't forget the theme for the rest of this story....I was drunk. 

So they're calling the names on the list and no one is showing up to claim the seat, so when the next set of initials is called I say "That's me!" and sit my ass down.  I still have those chips from the 1-2nl game earlier.

I sat down to Wolfie's left.  I don't remember a helluva lot more after this, except when he'd limp in the pot I'd raise.  :)  I can't help it Wolfie, it's just my nature!  And then even though I had shit, I'd win.  And win.  And get lucky on the river.  :)

And kept getting that fucking kill button, which meant i had to put extra chips in the next pot.  Pissed me off.

Wolfie drove my drunk ass home after waiting for me a while longer, mumbling that I cost him $100.  :)  I usually cost guys more than that!

Play smart and drunk.  Hmmmm perhaps both tonight.  I have a bunch of days off!


***So that this point I still don't have a souvenir for Evan except for more of those tiny ketchup bottles.  Fawk.  Wolfie and I were going to play at Harrah's Chester tomorrow before my flight.  He tells me that they have a gift shop there.  Okay.  I decide I'll find something there.  And I do.  But the only shit at Harrah's Chester is poker shit.  And Sugar Bear doesn't like poker very much.  I end up getting him a WSOP t-shirt.  (I mean,wouldn't YOU like that?  I know I would.) Plus a globe key chain and a liberty bell from the philly airport.  Does that smack of desperation?  It should.

He HATED the t-shirt.  "You got me an I LOVE POKER t-shirt? How could you?"

"erm....didja see the liberty bell?  besides you could use that tshirt to sleep in."

I suck.  Once again, he was thrilled with the little ketchup bottles though.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope Thanksgiving makes you as happy as it did Evan a few years ago.

Thanksgiving 2005
 very happy to get a piece of pomergranite

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Football Picks!


Below are my picks.

Pittsburgh Steelers 16
NY Jets 15
Atlanta Falcons 14
Cinncy Bengals 13
Dallas Cowboys 12
New England Patriots 11
Oakland Raiders 10
Baltimore 9
Carolina 8
Seattle 7
Green Bay 6
Houston 5
Tennessee 4
New Orleans 3
St Louis 2
San Diego 1

Time to beat Waffles ass again.

Play smart.


Drunken Josie

First of all this is another teaser post.  I intended to post this morning about my last night in AC, but I don't have time to write it up properly, so it's coming.....most likely by late tonight or tomorrow morning.

I didn't imbibe until that last night in AC.  I was there to play poker and make smart decisions.  I do both of those better when I'm not drunk.  Anyway, I'd decided that the last night would be the drinking night.  And drink I did.  Oh boy did I!  It's probably bad when a poker player repeatedly states "I'm drunk.  I call."

Especially when playing a game I don't know how to play.  But I won.  :)  Yet almost bankrupted Wolfie.  Sorry baby, but I was drunk! :)

So Drunk Josie stories and football picks to come!

Play smart and drunk, it's quite a combo!


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Yous Guys

It's Tuesday! I have a very booked day ahead of me, so I shall try to be brief (but I am sure I will fail at that).  First of all, let's talk Football.  I fell asleep last night before the first quarter of the Pats game was complete, but I hear they won! Which means.......

I kicked Waffles ass!

I kicked Bayne's ass!

I kicked Waffles' son's ass!

I kicked Waffles' little girl's bum bum!

I kicked Waffles' wife's ass! (Not literally, but if he wants to pay for that service he should email me.)

I'll tell you whose ass I didn't kick; Zeb's.  He and I tied for the week.  Well done old chap, well done!  Co-Winners! I am ready for a repeat performance this week.

Has anyone been by Poker Grump's little blog lately?  His latest post, called Josie & The Dog is based on a dream he had about me. (not his first dream about Very Josie btw) When I saw the title of the post my first thought was "Thank God WAFFLES didn't write a post called Josie & The Dog.  Ugh.  I don't like dogs.  I think of them as flea bags that poop and drool.  Blah.  And to think Grump would put some dog before the needs of his wife (me!).  Grumpy we are fighting!  lol jk. It seems Poker Grump cannot go a week without writing and/or dreaming about me.  Don't you think that makes me Poker Grump's muse?  I do!

I must go but before I do....a bit of poker.

After I got knocked out of the black chip bounty tournament, I was hanging around railing, Hoy and Edgie, trying to decide what to do next.  I went up to the poker counter and asked if they had any daily tournaments.  The woman told me there was a $150 tourney starting at 3pm so I signed up for that.

I'm playing away at that tourney - it seemed to be about an 8 table game.  After an hour or so, the nice guy on my left starts talking about winning a seat to the million dollar guarantee event on Sunday. 

"Oh, you're going to try to win a seat?" I ask.

"Erm, yeah, that's what we're all doing Miss."

I was playing in a satellite event and I didn't even know it.  5 seats to the the Sun-Tues event were the prizes for this tourney.  Doh!  But I was leaving on Saturday! Hmmmmm  Million dollar guarantee though.....I start thinking that I COULD skip work on Monday, but if I last till Tuesday, I'd be in big trouble.

First I had to win the seat though.

I played that tourney for over 4 hours and went out with A-K when I was short stacked.  7-7 called me and the walking sticks held up.  Hmpf, I couldn't stay in AC till Tuesday anyway!

More to the mean time, I'd link you to Hoyazo, but did you see his write up?  Sounds like I wasn't even fucking there at all.  Not one mention of me! OMFG How is that even possible?

Play smart.


Monday, November 21, 2011

Day One Atlantic City

As promised, Wolfie picked me up right on time at the Philly airport around noon.  I was staying at Borg and Wolfie was staying at Harrah's but as check in wasn't until 4pm, Wolfie came up with a plan.  We'd go to Harrah's and play in their poker room until his room was ready.  After he checked in, he'd drop me off at Borgata for my check in.  Good plan!  Poker playing asap!

Wolfie decided to play omaha (I think) and I bought $200 of red chips as the plan was to play 1-2NL.  There was a list for 1-2 but 2-5 had an open seat.  Hmmmmmm I decided wtf, I'd play the 2-5, even though I usually don't play it. 1-2 gets expensive enough for me.

I tucked a hundy bill under my stack so I had $300 on the table and we were off.  First hand I played was K-Q.  Flop was Q-5-3.  I bet out $15 and one guy smooth called me.  Mark.  Mark was a bit obnoxious btw.  I bet $35 on the turn and he called again. 5 on the river for a pair of 5s on the board.  I don't like his calling or the last card, so I check.  He bet out another $35 and I call thinking I'm beat.  He flips over A-5 for trip 5s.  Blah.

I lost the next hand too.

Mark was a regular there as was the guy next to him.  They knew every waitress and every dealer and most of the other players as well.  There were also 3 young aggro boys at the table.  I waited, and observed.  One young guy was an aggro guy who tried to steal every damn pot he'd put a chip in.  The one to my right hardly played at all and when he did, I usually reraised him and made him fold.

The young stealer though......he doubled me up.  He had a HUGE stack of chips, most of which I got.  I flopped a flush and checked.  He bet and I smooth called.  Turn comes and I check again, with a bit of overacting and looking disgusted.  He bets $75 and I think and think and think.....and act and act and act.  I finally throw the chips in and tell the dealer I need one card - give me the right card!  Obv I don't need any other cards.  River is a brick - no more hearts, not that I needed anymore :) and I tap the table.  He jams all in and I instacall.  He had A-10. 

Next hand he and I are in together I had my fave J-10.  Flop brings me top pair and the turn brings me top two.  Nice.  After the flop I bet about $30 - not fooling around anymore.  He raises me and I call.  As I said, the turn gave me two pair and I bet out again $80 and he calls.  On the river I bet out $100 even and say "It's just one black chip, you have a bunch anway".  He calls but mucks when I say "top two".

Mama's chips mid way through the session

I took that picture after I won the pretty black chip on top, but by the end of the session I had even more.  I wanted to take another pic, but thought it was slightly rude of me.  I felted at least 3 peeps, including that regular I mentioned in the beginning of the session.  I kept telling him it didn't matter how many chips I won, I wanted his.  He was clearly enamored and whenever I was in a pot he'd join me.  Me, I was only playing premium hands and him, he was playing whatever I did.  He'd bet, I'd raise and he'd fold.  Rinse, repeat.

Mark decided to order some corn dogs.  I had no idea you could order food in Harrah's poker room.  He got two corn dogs, which he scarfed at the table.  Um, seeing him deep throat his meat on a stick is something I wished I missed. 

When he finished the second one he said "Now, it's time for a milkshake.  Know what's a good day for me?  Corn dogs, a milk shake and a handjob.  In that order".

"Keep your hands on the table after you're done with that milkshake!"  I cried. 

Every hour or so, I'd go visit Wolfie to see if his room was ready and to tell him how much I was up. :)  I don't think his room was ready until after 7pm.  Wolfie decided just to drive me down to Borgata, so it was time to cash out.  I won the very last hand I played and left with more than $1,500 net profit.  Wolfie, not so much.  Wolfie was getting baaaad beats up the wazoo and I think waiting for his room cost him some cash.  All the walking through the casino and hotel wasn't doing him any favors either. His feet were hurting.  Oh and he had a cold.  But he drove me to Borgata!  I was ready to check into my mansion of a room.

I got my players card easily enough and the check in was a snap.  As soon as I gave them my name the lady said "Oh this stay is comped".  Yeah!

The room was nice enough and clean but not very big or glamourous.  I actually think Harrah's room was nicer.  The only thing that impressed me at Borgata was the shower.  No tub but a walk in shower with a marble bench.  It was niiiice.  I took a pic of that too.

Clean enough but nothing fancy. 
Those are sheets on the bed, not even a coverlet on top!

Nice little sitting area

I love a hot hot shower!

I checked in, took a hot shower and got dressed.  I was pretty stoked to already be up so much.  I went down stairs and saw a very pretty pair of overpriced earrings and an overpriced necklace.  I thought "fuck it" and bought myself both.  Something I rarely do, but money comes and goes and now I have a souvenir bought with my winnings.  :)

I went to the Borgata Poker Room and was playing 1-2NL when I saw a very pregnant woman eating ice cream.  Damn but she looked familiar.  It was LJ!  At least I was almost certain it was.  I saw her pic on Borgata's website from her wins earlier in the week.  Hmmmmm

I left the table and went up to her as she was railing a guy in  game.

"Are you LJ?  Erm...Lana?"

She was!  I told her that I wrote a blog and read about her win.  After I congratulated her I asked her if I could take a picture for my blog and she said sure.  The picture came out shitty and I wasn't able to take another one because it was at that exact moment that my phone decided to die.  Faaaawwwwwkkkk.

I'm an AWESOME photographer

So we're chatting away about pregnancy, childbirth (I'll spare you the details) and poker when she asks which poker blog it is that I write.

"Very Josie!"

"Oh, you're Waffles' friend.  He's always writing about you." she says.  "I've read your blog.  I thought you said you've never play at Borgata.  I read that post".

I explained that I can be bought very easily and two free nights was all it took.

I played some cash for a bit, and left pretty much even.  I was there basically because I was trying to locate Edgie, which was proving difficult because of my dead phone and because I stupidly didn't bring my charger.  I found out the next day that the Borgata concierge could charge it for me, if I paid them $5, which i did. 

Wolfie decided to stay put at Harrah's as he was a bit spent.  Remember last time I Wolfie and I hit AC he was wearing a big white floppy hat?  Maybe he called it a boater - I dunno.  Well this time when I got in his car, he had a different but equally unusual hat with him.  It was a beige suede driving hat - I think.  I dunno.  All I know is this time I was taking a picture of it.

I tried it on and it was too big or I would've taken it home.

Me wearing Wolfie's hat.  Very cool.

Which reminds me.....

I was wearing Wolfie's hat as we were strolling on the Ocean City boardwalk and went into a jewelry store. Wolfie likes jewelry even more than me, which is saying something.  So the sales girl helps him with his purchase and at the end I ask the girl if she'd take a picture of Wolfie and me together.

"Sure!" she says.

She takes the picture and I ask her if she needs to take another and she says 'No I got a good one." I grab my phone and we leave.

Below is a picture of us.  It's a 'good one'. FML

I guess she liked Wolfie more than me.  The whore.

Play smart.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

Edgie Is Da Man and Hoy ain't so bad either

Atlantic City baby! 

I just got home and had a greeeaaaattttt time.  Alot of wins in cash, and alot of losses in tourneys.  It's like I'm supporting my tourney habit, by prostituting myself at the cash game.  I'm only there for the money.

Anyway, there will be a multi post recap coming, but in the mean time, let me tell you how the tourney ended.  It was Event #14, which was a black chip bounty.  I got zero bounties and was out early when I lost the majority of my stack with KK.  I am so fucking mad at myself that this happened so early.  I should've just let the hand go and live to see another hand, but I didn't.  After raising big  pre, The flop was 10 high rainbow.  Young kid bet and I raised pot.  He jammed all in.

Was I worried about trips?  Sure.  I took my time, thought about it and asked him how much he had left.  He looked scared shitless.  For real.  But regardless, I should've just folded yet I didn't.  I called his all in and was thrilled to see I was up against A-Q.  Idiot.  Turn was fine but the river was a A.  Arrrgggghhhh!  Instead of getting my first bounty I was down to 4K ish.  And it steadily went down from there until I lost with J-J.  Blah.

The big news though.....and yes there IS big I wasn't the only blogger playing in this tourney.  My boyz Edgie and Hoyazo were also playing with me and they did great.  Amazing.  Solid playing that I had a ringside view of for hours.  Edgie came in 7th plance and Hoyazo came in 11th.  Wow.  Do I know how to surround myself with great players or what?  Edgie got himself a big stack early on and held onto those chips for hours.  He played carefully and solidly, never losing many chips that I could see.  He stayed at about 60K for a few hours then hit another monster pot and increased his stack.  Very awesome playing.

I was looking for Edgie when I got there but didn't really know who I was looking for, except for a guy with brown hair.  Doesn't narrow things down much.  But after a while this nice looking preppy boy came walking toward me and smiling....."Edgie?"   Yup!

Oh so innocent looking and cute. And with a big stack to boot. *sigh*

By the way, I did wear my very bright yellow blouse, so I'm sure it was easier for him to spot me.  I wish I got a picture of myself in it because it looked sooooooooo good, didn't it boys, or is it just me?  A little sexy but subtle, imho.  Next time I wear it I'll snap a pic.

Meanwhile, a few tables over was Hoyazo.  He was dressed as one of  "those" guys, in his sunglasses and hoodie. He spent the first 5 hours or so of the tourney card dead.  Completely.  It was just one of those days.  He waited it out though.  Didn't panic and played with patience, through all the shitty cards.  Two table changes later, he started getting cards and getting paid off.  Where Edgie had a big stack from earlish on and stayed that way for the whole tourney, Hoy did not.  Hoy was never a big stack.  It was interesting to see how Hoy played his smallish stack while watching Edgie as well. Hoy wasn't uber short though.  At best he was average and usually a little less than that, but he kept himself in the game.  Ironically enough, he played the majority of the tournament with the chip leader on his left.  Hard spot as whenever Hoy bet out, the chip leader was right there. 

See the black hand on the right side of the picture?  That was the chip leader. I wish I got a his stack in the shot so you could see the disparity between his and Hoy's stack.  As it was, I got yelled at for taking this picture and told I could be fined up to $250.  Biatch.

Hoy had 9-9  multiple times and was continually raising this one guy's big blind.  (something I love to do btw)  At one point I came by to see how Hoy was doing and this guy says 'to me "Tell your man to stop raising my blind.  You can tell him what to do"


Hoy replies that he tells me what to do, not vice versa.

OMFG  That earned him a smack. I may have smacked him more than once too.  He has only himself to blame.  I don't remember what prompted the other instances, but I'm sure I had a good reason.  In fact I came up with a new nickname for Hoy on Thursday.  NLB, which stands for Negotiating Lawyer Biatch.  It has a nice ring to it, yes?  I was nice enough to let Hoy buy me my dinner.  He doesn't fully appreciate what an honor that is for him.  He almost got a double honor as he was going to chauffer my ass (as everyone puts it) to Harrah's, but he took too fucking long to get knocked out of the tourney.  By that time, it was really late and decided to stay put.

Anyway, they both went deep which is just awesome.  Like them.

All that happened on Thursday but I got in on Wednesday afternoon so we're going to have to back track.  I just wanted to give you the amazing results.

Coming up next:  Teaser Alert!  Next post is all about Wolfie and how I almost killed him both physically and financially.  Hopefully, he'll recover.  :)

Play smart like my Edgie and NLB.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Hello my pets,

It's Tuesday (Okay Tuesday!) and I'm trying like heck to get a week's worth of stuff done because I leave tomorrow!  Yay!  So this is going to be brief.  (as if I could be brief)

The devil and his spawn (hi waffles!) kicked my ass again this week. Seriously.  Even the damn wife beat me.  I don't know what's going on, but it's time for me to stop going with the odds and resume going with my gut.  I mean a 15 on the Eagles.  A team I hate?  Blah - those days are over.

As I won't be around tomorrow or Thursday to post my football picks, I found a substitution to do it for me.   Playing the role of Very Josie, will be the one and only LIGHTNING! 

Lightning donning his Very Josie garb

So swing by LIGHTNING'S blog to see my picks.  I'll be emailing them to him tonight.  Not that I don't trust Waffles with them, but....oh wait, I don't.  Just kidding.  It's just that Lightning is neutral, like Switzerland.

As I said, I must do some shit that I get paid to do so I must fly, my sunshines.  One final post tomorrow before I set out for Logan.

Ciao for now.


Monday, November 14, 2011

For Paul...

Not this Paul!

"Paul" left a comment on my post about the Phillies aquiring Papelbon.  I believe I said something like "it could be worse, he could've gone to the Yankees."

Below is Paul's comment as well as mine.

Paul said...
Sorry Josie but the NYY would NEVER be interested in Pap.....he is a LOSER not a CLOSER.

Josie said...
@paul, if he is, he's a 50 million dollar loser, according to the phillies.
and I disagree with you. I think the yankees favorite past time is to collect ex red sox players that are past their prime. shall I make you a list of them? :)

Something tells me Paul is from New York.  It should be noted that I do not have an aversion to NY itself, it's the Yankees I dislike very very very very very very very much.  :)

Anywho, it got me thinking.....just how many Red Sox players have the Yankees aquired with their open purse strings.  Hmmmm......

Below is a list.  No, I'm sure it's not a complete list, but as I was working today, I'd think of one or another and add them.  This list certainly doesn't mean I'm old.  :)  Keep in mind I've been a sox fan since I was 10 years old.

In no particular order......

Wade Boggs (blah, you can have him.  I met the lush a couple of years ago.  Not impressed)
Roger Clemens (Rocket Man!  My first red sox sweatshirt had his name and number on it.  sigh.)
Jose Canseco (only thing postive about him....besides his steriods test that is, is the way he looked in his uniform)
Tom Gordon (A God in my book)
Jeff Reardon (I do like a man with a beard)
Paul Quantrill (helluve pitcher imho)
Johnny Demon (the fucker.  fuck him, and fuck his wife, who I think was the reason for the move)
Darren Bragg (extremely nice guy who I've had the pleasure to chat with many a time)
Mike Stanton
Alan Embree
Doug Mientkiewicz (do not leave me a comment saying I spelled his name wrong.  I don't care)
Tony Fossas (I suppose I'm dating myself now)
Butch Hobson (yes, he came back as a manager, but did spend time as a yankee)
John Flaherty (meh)
Mark Bellhorn (I must confess I wore a tshirt at spring training that said "So Bellhorny".  It did get me an autograph from him!)
Mike Myers (not the actor)

And I'm sure there are many many more.  Have I made my point Paul?  Am I right, as always?  A simple "yes" in your comment would be sufficient.

Thanks for commenting Paul.  I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed thinking about the Red Sox players of the past.  I am certainly not looking forward to the upcoming season.  Bard ain't so bad, but I don't love the idea of him as our closer.  I wonder what Tom Gordon is doing next year.  :)


Atlantic City Prep

Atlantic City
In case you haven't heard, I'm going to Atlantic City in just two short days! On Wednesday, to be exact.  It cannot get here fast enough.  I'm staying for three nights, and come home Saturday.  The monkey wrench in the works is.....I don't have a room for Friday night, yet.  I'm staying at Borgata for free on Wed and Thurs nights and I need to book something SOMEWHERE for Friday night.  If I don't do it pretty soon, I may be dozing on a park bench on the boardwalk!  LOL Maybe it isn't that bad but I have to book something.  Funny thing is Wolfie hasn't booked his Friday night yet either.  He says not to worry, we'll get a room somewhere, maybe Taj, maybe Abescon.  I dunno.....

I got some emails and texts from my gal Lynne, saying her wife was working Saturday night and did I want to play some poker?  She suggested Foxwoods.  I did want to get a little more play in before I hit Altantic City but I definitely wasn't interested in going to Foxwoods this weekend.  I told her that if she wanted to go to Seabrook Poker Room, I was in. "It's closer!" I said. We texted Marvin, Leon and Glenn but no one else was available. Off we went.

There was a $30 rebuy event where you could rebuy 3 times (blah shoot me now) and Lynne opted to play that, but rebuys are not for me.  Intstead, I decided to hit the game I hate most in life.  2-4 LIMIT.  2-4 Limit really sucks if you're a tournament player.  As the bets are $2 or $4 you cannot bet enough to get anyone off a hand.  All these dudes hang around till the river to see which one of them hit their inside straight draw.  Blah.  I sat down to this while wating for a $60 sit & go to fill up.  Funny thing is I won like the first 5 hands in a row, betting hard all the way and getting paid off.  Saweet!  All those straight and flush chasers paid the premium for the opporunity.  Soon enough they were seating my sit & go and I left up about $80.

And it seemed everyone missed me!  When I sat down to the 2-4 limit table, the dealer said "Where have you been?  I've been looking for you." (?) Huh?  "Every weekend, I keep an eye out for you, but you never come here anymore. You win here, so why haven't you been back?"

"Erm....I guess because I've been going to Foxwoods".

When I sat down at the sit & go, the first thing the very nice dealer there said "You're finally back.  We missed your bubbly personality."

I was called bubbly!  LOL I think that's a first.

So my table's ready and when I head over I hear a couple of guys talking about a last longer bet.  A very young boy, certainly younger than 21, was asking the table if anyone was interested in a last longer and another guy had no idea what he was talking about.  The young kid was explaining it and getting no takers when I sat down.  I immediately said "Last longer?  I'm in!  How much?"

The kid replies "As much as you want!  As much as you have."

OMFG Really?

I say "How bout $20?"

He says "Not 100?"

Noooooo.  He gives me his $20 and explains to the table that whichever of us lasts longer gets $40.  The guy who didn't know what a last longer bet was decides to join us.  Heh.  A final guy sits down to my right.  A guy with the most GORGEOUS eyes and eyelashes that I have ever seen.  Mmmmmmm.  I nicely explain the last longer bet to him too and he's in as well.  $80 to whoever lasts longer.

This is a fast game.  You start with 5K in chips and the blinds start at 100/100 and go  up every 10 minutes.  Lose two hands and you'll find yourself short stacked.  Soon enough the guy who didn't know what a last longer bet was, becomes the chip leader when he knocks an older guy out.  Then I knock a guy out when I play 4-5 spades.  Flop is 3-6x and two were spades.  I have an open ended straight flush draw.  I bet out and get one caller.  I hit my straight on the turn and check.  He bets, I raise, he jams all in.  I'm worried that he has two higher spades and has a better flush draw but I have a made straight so I call.  Turns out he didn't have a flush draw but had A-6 for a pair of sixes.  and I take him out.  Mama's got chips!

A couple hands later I have Q-10 diamonds and Mr. Hot Eyes raises.  Another peep and I call.  There is a K and a 9 of diamonds on the flop.  Bing!  The other peep bets out, Mr. Hot Eyes is next and then it's me.  I am planning on making a decent size raise with my draws (inside straight flush draw and flush draw) when Mr. Hot Eyes jams all in.  Shit!  Hot Eyes has alot more chips than the other guy and there is no way in HELL I'm calling an all in on a draw if I'm not short. I'm the last person to act in this threesome, so I slap him, show him my awesome cards and fold.

He turns over pocket jacks (bfd) and felts the other guy.  Would I have hit my diamond?  YEP! So I slap him again!  I would've knocked them both out!  Shit!  Then the dealer starts rubbing it in just so I'll hit him again, and of course I do.

We are down to 3 in the last longer bet; me, hot eyes and young kid.  Hot Eyes and I are about even and after that last pot he nicely says to me "If I win the LLB I'll give you your $20 back."



Um, never look a gift horse in the mouth I say!  Coolio!

Except after that I ran over that table.  I took out another man and then it was time for the young kid.  Who, just by not playing became short stacked.  That's how quick this game is.  I raised it up with K-K, pretending I'm steaming and young kid came along.  Flop was 10 high so I checked.  Unfortunately for him, this is when he decided to jam all in with nothing.  I called him and bu-bye.

Only Hot Eyes and I were left in the LLB, and I had a 4-1 chip advantage over him.  I say "Since you're so nice, I'll give you your $20 back right now and I'll keep $60.  Deal?"  I really thought that since I had so much more chips than him that this WAS a nice offer, but he declined.

We were down to 4 peeps, on the bubble, and I had A-9 sooted on the button, and with 2 limpers I raised it up big.  Hot Eyes called me.  Flop was 8-8-9.  VN.  He bets and I jam all in.  I'm betting he doesn't have an 8.  He calls my all in with A-J.  WTF!  Who calls with that?  I bust Hot Eyes but I don't want him to go!!!!  Boooo!!!!

As he gets up, I do something I hardly ever do.  I gave him his $20 back because he kindly offered the same to me earlier.  But guess what?  He says "I had alot of fun playing with you but I can't take this, you won it."  He gave me the $20 back.  Then the dealer says that Hot Eyes must've enjoyed getting slapped around and Hot Eyes agreed.  Heh.

I am now heads up with a HORRIBLE player.  I mean he sucks.  He's betting with shit over and over again. Two hands into heads up I felt him.  I had 8-8.  He was first to act and came in raising.  I had more chips than him but he was not short stacked by any means.  Just to pick up his raising chips, I jam all in with my 8-8.  He instacalls.  Fawk!  And flips over A-3 off suit.  Who the hell CALLS an all in with that when they have a ton of chips in front of him?  A donkey!  I'm up against a 3 outer and my 8s hold up. 1st place baby, PLUS $80 in the LLB.

The donkey tells me how lucky I am as we wait for our cash.  Okay.......

He leaves.

I'm packing up my shit and the floor person comes over to me and says "Josephine, I guess leaving your profitable cash game worked out for you".  Yep.   This guy has been great.  He actually walked over to the cash game and got me when my sit & go was started.  He nicely cashed out all of those $2 chips for me, so I wouldn't miss a hand in the sit & go and then.....when he came over with my fist full of cash I thanked him and added "Erm, I left my cardigan at the cash game.  Could you get it for me?" 

The three of us are talking and the dealer says some really nice things about my play and asks me to come back sooner next time.  I ask him the one thing that's stuck in my mind.  "Who CALLS an all in with A-3 with all those chips?"

He replies "An asshole that's who.  And then he calls you lucky!"

I tell him I've been called lucky alot, but whatever.  It's a profitable night.  I go to see how Lynne is doing, but she just busted out of her tourney.  Booooo.....I asked her what she wanted to do.  Personally, I made more than I planned on with the LLB so I'm ready to hit the road.  Thankfully she's tired and agrees so we're outa there.

I won a net of more than $300 in about 3 hours.  Almost my Borgata buy in for Thursday!  Saweet!

But here's the thing.......

As I may have mentioned previously, I'm not a believer in luck.  I don't carry around a lucky chip for a card protector, and don't believe in lucky charms or lucky anything.  However, Lynne does.

I was wearing a VERY BRIGHT YELLOW blouse to play in last night, and Lynne says to me "If you win tonight, you have to wear that yellow top for your tournament at Atlantic City.


'On the way home she reiterates it.  I guess you're wearing your lucky top for the tournament!  Hmmm...."$300 does not really make for a 'lucky' top in my opinion, but for some reason I told her I would.

Now I'm stuck wearing a bright as sunshine yellow top at Borgata?  I dunno.  I'm on the fence.  I had a much hotter top I was planning on wearing and besides.....if top = luck, maybe I should be wearing the red top I had on when I won over 4k at Foxwoods.  Hmmmm I'll be packing both just in case and making a game time decision.  I suppose I could wear both, changing during the dinner break.  I mean I will have a room right upstairs from the tourney.

We shall see.

Help a sista out.  Help me decide.  Sunshine yellow?  Red top that was a 4k winner?  Both?

The blouse looks very much like the one above.....except I'd probably have to not eat for a year, for it to really look like that, and as it's November, I have no tan and am as pale as you mere mortals. :(

Red winning top

2 days and counting. 3 till the tourney.

Play smart.


Friday, November 11, 2011

Speaking of Papelbon...

Below is a picture of my Evan with Jonathan Papelbon's twin brothers, Josh and Jeremy.  They were minor league pitchers at the time.

Josh, Evan and Jeremy

Evan is holding up his signed photo of each of them.  They were sooooo nice and friendly, talked to Evan about pitching and gave him some pointers.  Priceless.

And not for nothing but isn't my son a cutie pie?

Oh Jonathan! :(




Jonathan Papelbon, OUR Red Sox closer just signed a deal with THE PHILLIES.

Le moan.  :(

You can read all about it RIGHT HERE

Only thing worse would be if he signed with the yankees.



Mojo Baby

Sending out a big thank you to MOJO and all veterans on this Veteran's Day.  True heroes among us.  Too bad I have to work on Veteran's Day though.  Boo.  Sugar Bear is marching in the Veteran's Day Parade in Saugus, which I am bummed to miss.  I'm kicking myself for not taking a vacation day.  At my firm we work on Veteran's Day because we get the day after Thanksgiving off.

Have a great weekend peeps and if you see a veteran, give him (or her) a hug.  Mojo's getting a big one should I ever meet him.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Mob

Sure, you probably know I'm Italian but did you know I'm in THE MOB!!! Well, I am!  The Hendon Mob to be exact.  Who knew?

I was perusing through it checking out all the cash young Mr. Hoyazo has won, and then just for kicks I put in my name and was pleasantly surprised.  I'm in there for my cash at Foxwoods.  Hoy's in there for some little known event called the WSOP, plus a few other cashes as well.  Biatch.  We'll see who cashes for more next week at Borgata.  I will get another entry if when I cash there.  And you guys know I'll be lasting longer than Hoy, right?

I can't. Freakin'. Wait.

Under my name it says that the player's photo is not available.  I'm thinking of sending the picture of me and James Freakin' Woods.  :)

Play smart and get on the Hendon Mob page.


Thursday Football

Good morning.

Below are my football picks for the week.

Josie's Picks
San Diego 16 (Kendra's fave team, and could me mine too if they win tonight)
Philly 15 (omfg i'm putting 15 points on philly.  Shoot me now)
Green Bay 14
Baltimore 13
Dallas 12
Jacksonville 11
KC 10
Pittsburgh 9
Carolina 8
Houston 7
SF 6
Cleveland Rocks 5 (Drew Carey fans?)
Miami 4 (Miami Don rocks)
Chicago 3 (Lightning baby, they better win)
Atlanta 2 (coin toss)
New England 1 (shut up. what have they done for me lately?)

Seb's Picks
Green Bay Packers 16

Philadelphia Eagles 15
San Diego Chargers 14
Baltimore Ravens 13
Dallas Cowboys 12
Miami Dolphins 11
San Francisco 49ers 10
Carolina Panthers 9
Pittsburgh Steelers 8
Houston Texans 7
Kansas City Chiefs 6
Jacksonville Jaguars 5
Chicago Bears 4
Cleveland Browns 3
New York Jets 2
Atlanta Falcons 1

Play smart biatches.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Jagged Little Pill

Today's lesson comes to us courtesy of the letter A.  A, as in Alanis....Morrisette that is.

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone (I certainly do!)

I recommend walking around naked in your living room (yeah!)
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone (I certainly do)
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time (feel free!)
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend (yeah baby)

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

I've been learning alot lately.  Hopefully enough to cash in my borgata poker open tourney which is a week from tomorrow!


So I was walking home the bus stop last night and when I get to my street I hear "Hey Numbahs!"  It was my son's friend Shane.  Shane has been friends with Sugar Bear and spending time at my house since they were about 5 years old. Years ago a friend of mine used to call me Numbers (and John omfg) just to piss me off.  Of course, Shane and Sugar Bear picked this up and they love nothing better than to aggravate me.  Shocking, right?  So Shane follows me into the house and there's my baby boy along with Nick.  The three of them start calling me John and/or Numbers.  Now they know what happens when they do this.  I get my ammo together (slippers, ping pong balls, rolled up socks and the daddy of all ammo, my nerf gun) chase them down and pelt them.  Over and over.  Round and round the house we go, them shrieking names, and me pelting them over and over again.  I have a deadly aim btw.

Exhaustion is the only thing that ends this game.  Finally it's over as I've given up.  The three of them are sitting on the couch panting, giggling and happy.  They all have this satisfied look on their faces because they've aggravated the heck out of me.  I couldn't help but think that these boys could be KenP, Lightning36 and Wolfshead about 50 years ago.  Isn't it funny how boys and old men act exactly the same way?

Play smart.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

It Sucks That.....

It's Okay Tuesday!  That usually means that I'll post a bunch of things that are okay.  Since I'm not feeling all that okay, and it being my blog and all, I've changed it from It's Okay.... to It Sucks That......

(see where I'm going with this?)  Let's begin.

It Sucks.....

That the Patriots lost two in a row.  What the heck happened to Tom Brady? They not only lost, they didn't even score before half time.

That Joe Frasier died.  Smokin' Joe Frasier, the legend.  It makes me sad. 

That Evan was waiting in line at midnight last night outside Game Stop's door.  Why?  That new war game is out....Call of Duty 102 or something.  According to Evan this is big.  I was watching TV in his room last night and told him I'd wake him up at 11pm should he want to nap.  Next thing I know it's after midnight and I'm by myself in the bunkbeds with a baseball comforter twisted around me.  Lucky kid has today off from school.  Wonder what he'll be doing ALL DAY LONG.

That I keep losing to children at football.  I need to fix that shit pronto.  Or not.  I at least have to keep trying.

That I learn lessons the hard way.  At least I learn them.

It sucks.


Monday, November 7, 2011


I played poker at Foxwoods on Saturday.  As I mentioned in my tease I played poker with a famous person.  Who could it be? 

A.)  James Woods
B.)  Usher
C.)  Waffles

Did you take a guess?

If you guessed all of the above, you are correct!  Um, sort of. 

Let's start with A, shall we?  After all, he's a very famous movie star. A huge fucking movie star, who I talked to and touched.  More than once!  Now did I actually "play" with him?  Well, it depends on how you look at it.  We were at tables next to each other, but I was playing 1-2NL and he was playing 2-5 NL.  (um and it was fucking JAMES WOODS)

Let me start at the beginning.  I was playing 1-2NL, spotted him and said to the table "I think that's James Woods!"  Everyone readily agreed and the dealer told me James plays there all the time.  Ohhhhhhh

BTW I go freaky crazy when I see a famous person, whether it be a movie star or sports star, but seeing him (fucking JAMES WOODS!) put me in a crazy to the 10th power mode.  I knew the last thing he probably wanted while playing poker was to be assaulted approached by a crazy lady but that's never stopped me before!  I decided I needed a plan to meet him.  While he was playing, his girlfriend was standing behind him, looking glum/bored/aggravated at being in a poker room in Connecticut.  Blah.... She was very tall, very thin, very blonde and very young.  My guess is she was about 25 yrs old.  I knew for my plan to work, I had to wait until Miss Glum left.  Below is a kinda bad picture of her.

James Woods' GF is the blonde standing.
Picture does not do her justice as she was much more beautiful in person.

So I'm staring at them, waiting for her to get bored enough to leave.  At this point I am in frenzied fan mode, and am not even trying to focus on poker.  Finally she takes a walk and I get my chance.  Faster than you can Josephine, I am up and standing by James, pretty much in the same spot the GF was.  I see he has a mountain of green chips in front of him, and he's in a hand.  So I wait, trying not to let my squeals bubble over....yet they did!  As soon as the hand was over I gushed something like "You're James Woods you know!  I can't believe it.  James Woods from Casino!"

He laughs and agrees that indeed that is him.  We start chatting for a bit (omfg I'm chatting with James Woods) and he asks me what I'm doing here.  I tell him I'm playing poker at the very next table and just haaaaaaaaaaad to see him in person.  And I love him.  Yes, I told him I loved him.  I told you I freak out around famous people, but for me, he's more than that.  He's a legend.  (I didn't mention that, but I wish I had)  So anyway, I tell him I love him and he kiddingly replies that I'm lucky his girlfriend wasn't around to hear that as she's the jealous type.

"Oh, you mean that teenager that was here earlier?" Heh.

He chuckled at that which pleased me to no end.  I made James Woods chuckle!  So now that I've broken the ice, I go in for the kill.

"Could I please take a picture with you?"  Yes, I know I was bugging him while he's trying to play poker, but I truly could not help it.  I was about ready to explode with excitement.

"Sure, but you might get in trouble from the floor person if you get caught."

"I'll take my chances!  Do you mind?  It'll be quick."

He told me to go ahead, and I surely did.  It was only one and done, because even I couldn't bug him even more than I already had.  So I squeezed in next him and snapped a pic with my phone.

Me and James Woods!

To the untrained eye he may look a bit exasperated, lol, but I choose to think he has a bit of a smile on his face; one courtesy of Very Josie.  I say this because the rest of the time he was playing he seemed to be downright scowling, but I digress. 

After I snapped my picture I realized that while scooching in next to him I touched him.  As soon as I realize this I say to his table.  "I touched James Woods!" And of course he's right there and all, so now I pat his back and say "I touched James Woods again!"  LOL  He and his fellow players are all laughing ( never know what reaction you'll get when acting like a crazy lunatic) and as I start to walk back to my table (the very next one) I back track and give him a gentle poke with my index finger and say "I touched him again".  Then I really return to my table.

When I get back to my table there is a new player sitting next to me; a black, handsome VERY well dressed young man.  I'm talking cashmere sweater, purple velour sports jacket and just the right amount of gold.  He says he doesn't understand why I'm so excited about James Woods, when I have a famous person sitting right next to me.  My reply was "Who are you, P. Diddy?"

He says no to P. Diddy, but claims to be Usher.  Damn but he does look like Usher.  Then he asks if I want to take a picture with him too.  Sure......  He is uber excited about taking a picture with my old self.  Why I do not know.  I scooch in to repeat the process and unlike James Woods, he wraps his arms around me before I take the pic like he's drowning and I'm a flotation device. (!)

Me and 'Usher'
Usher is giving me an overly zealous body hug.

So after this is done it's back to playing poker except I'm still keeping an eye on James Woods, natch.  Funny thing is he keeps looking over at moi.  I shiat you not.  Perhaps he doesn't meet crazy people very often.  When he looks over again, I start waving to him in a very frenzied manner and he looks away.  Fawk.  Then he looks over again (!) and instead of giving him a knowing glance, or showing a modicum of coolness, I resume the frenzied waving.  I have no idea why, but I did.  This time however, he starts waving back at me.  Yes, James Woods is waving back to me.  This is clearly an invitation, no?

My brain is back to planning.  I cannot do the same thing and interupt his game again, but I could walk by his table a few dozens times, right?  Not behind him like before, mind you.  I'm thinking this time I'll walk by the other side of the table and try to be a little more sophisticated when I glance over and make eye contact.  Yes, that's like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted but whatev. And not for nothing, but I was looking decidely know...for me.  Unfortunately, before I was able to put said plan into action, Ms. Teenage Girlfriend returned, looking none the happier this time around.  He's up chatting with her quietly, seeming to try to placate her, and then they both walk right by me and into the restrooms.  Awww they go to the bathroom together!  A couple minutes later James returns but the GF seems to stay in the bathroom for a loooong time. 

Someone at my table (perhaps me) mutters something about how long it's taking the anorexic biatch to puke up her dinner. (Bitter, party of one!  Your table's ready!)

So no, I couldn't put my plan into action BUT as the dealer told me, James Effing Woods plays there all the time.  We will meet again. Fo' Sho'.  It's karma baby, or kesmet or um something.

And then there's Waffles.....
And that my friends, is why first instincts are always the best.

Play smart.