Thursday, April 7, 2011

Miami Don can handle Asian women, but not Sicilians!

Miami Don's a good boy....

After The Very Josie (much more on that in a bit) Miami Don challenged moi to a heads up match.  Now I tried to tell him that he didn't know who he was dealing with.  Heads up I'm like Mohammad Ali....I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!  But he insisted.......

So we played a gazillion heads up matches.  Now you'll see on his blog how he brags about banging old asian ladies, but what you won't see on his blog is any bragging about pwning Sicilian ladies.  Cuz I spanked that big mo fo.  Maybe I needed a step ladder to get the job done, but I have a feeling it's gonna hurt Donnie to sit down this morning.

We played Eight (8) heads up matches.  And I won 5-3, and quite frankly I probably should've won more.  There was a point when I just could not lose a hand,  Flopping 2 pairs was par for the course.  It was awesome.  The amazing part was that Don lasted as long as he did. (that's what she said)  He does have the ability to fold second best hand over and over again with out investing too much in a loser.  I wish I had that kind of discipline and hope to someday.  When he had K-K and I had J-7 the flop was J-7-x natch.  Rinse and repeat.

Mind you I tried to tell him that he couldn't beat me heads up, but did he listen?  No!  In fact, he even wants to do it again.  What do you call guys that like to get punished?  Oh yeah, you call them MIAMI DON.  :)

GG baby, as you know.  Each game (except one) was a long term battle won inch by inch and a helluva lot of fun.  For some reason I got angry more even though I won more.

I remain the Queen of Heads Up matches and wonder who would like to get spanked next.  Just remember, Don is the winner of WPBT and I'm better than him! Hoyazo, are you quaking in your boots?  Drop me a comment if you think you can do what Don could not.

The Very Josie


I chipped up and became the early chip leader.  I was adding and adding to my stack and by the first break I had about 10K and 2nd place had maybe 5K.  Then I worked that up to 13K.  Then JoelPokerGod came along and the whole thing fell apart.  I really stopped playing my game and tried to play his which resulted in me spewing chips.

I'd flopped top pair and by the turn I still had top pair and a straight flush draw.  He jammed all in with 2nd biggest stack and I called.  Why?  Because it's JoelPokerGod and I know how aggressive he is.  He'll do that with the nuts or with nothing.  I called him and he had 2 pair.  The river was a club which game me my flush but I didn't quite understand why my chips were being shipped to Joel, until it dawned on me that the card that gave me the flush also gave him a full house.  Doh.

Then I played like crap, neutralzing all the good player earlier in the game.  When I cashed in 3rd, instead of sending me a gg Wolfie said "You played at the end so badly I won't even give you a gg.  you just gave Joel all your chips."  Worst part is he's right.  I won't soon forget that comment. Blah

I did better than Wolfie though and about 14 others.

Joel won,  and Lucky Duck played a solid TIGHT game that had him sliding into a deal for 2nd, once they got rid of the riff raff Very Josie in third place.

With 17 peeps it was a good sized 2 table game. I was focused on my table and my cards.  At the other table someone said something ignorant and hurtful that offended Bam Bam.  I mean really?  WTF It's a $10 game.  There's no reason to offend people and make enemies over a few bucks or even an injured ego.  We've all been there.  I wish people could learn to lose with a little class, and no I'm NOT the pot calling the kettle black.  I will pepper my chat with a omfg, or biatch, but if you've spent ANY time playing with me you know there's no mailiciousness behind it and I'm just there to have fun.  There is no reason to be hurtful.  Someone owes Bammer an apology and I'll be the first in line because I am truly sorry this happened at my game.It was upsetting news to read after looking forward to this game all month.

Waffles, since you were doing all your whining at my table, I'm going to assume it was not you.

Play lucky.



KenP said...

Welcome sports fans to Very Josie Field. Please review the scoreboard for the results of past games.

|Skill: 0|
|Luck: +1|

Josie said...

Ken, how can you comment on my skills or lack thereof when you've never played against me? Huh punk?

SirFWALGMan said...

Ficking Joel moron God. How the fuck you let him win. Goddam fucking retard.

Cards is a big boy game. If people want to be offensive they can. Just turn of chat. I respect Bam's reasoning for not playing. It is not fun to him. So good for him.. But people at poker tables are always going to be assholes.

I mean fuck your playing a game whose sole purpose is to take advantage of people who are weaker than you.

Josie said...

Miami Don left a comment that I can't quite post. It's too rauncy even for me, so I'll clean it up a bit and give you a rated R version.

Miami Don said:
Fuck Josie, tell the truth. You usually post screenshots but left them out here. I read you like a book but I got coolered over and over. I should have won 6 games - should be 6-1 Miami Don.
Josie's a cooler, she rules but she's a card rack with serious betting patterns that are easy to see. Still, it's hard to beat Joe C. From now on she's Athena to me.

Josie said: Don speaks the truth! I was getting awesome starting hands and hitting every flop. Heh.

lightning36 said...

The Queen, or rather, PRINCESS, once again fails to mention that I am up 3-2 in HU matches and she refuses to play me again.
Yes, we are tied 2-2 in HU Hold Em and I am up 1-0 in Omaha.

And Joe -- no whining about playing Omaha since I trust you can read (you ARE a member of MENSTRA, right?)and you chose to enter into the HU match with me.

Oh -- and I believe that your usual charge that I "lucked out" fails to acknowledge that every once in a while you actually get cards that do not perfectly match and you are forced to use your ... ahem ... skills ...

Memphis MOJO said...

Congrats on a good showing in the VJ and in the heads-up match.

Josie said...


1.) Do not call me the P word again.

2.) If you have to reduce yourself to trickery you don't get to play HU with me - I thought we'd covered this. Yes I can read, but when we agreed to play holdem and you join first and I have a millisecond to find you and join I don't review the parameters of the game. YOU KNOW THIS.

GG for tricking me once. nevah happen twice. I have a policy about not getting fucked twice.

Bayne_S said...

I thought Drizz pwned you heads up as well?

Josie said...

Bayne, Whaddaya mean "as well"?

He did pwn me, but it was omaha - I am the queen of nlhe. Nice work keeping track btw.

Josie said...

JoelPokerGod is an asshole.

HighOnPoker said...

I'd be delighted to shame you with some HU play.

Josie said...

Jordan, sounds good, but if you're like the others, you're going to whine and complain afterwards about how I run so good. Obv there's no skill in this game, just luck. (that is sarcasm people)

I'll be in touch - I love me some good competition!

SirFWALGMan said...

I woulda beat you but you kept going like "one more game one more game one more game" until I puked. :P

Josie said...

Waffles, I thought I made this crystal clear: Fuck off.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the edit.

I want a rematch. 100+ hands in a HU SnG was work.

We can do first to four wins? Right now Joe C bitches 1, Miami Don fucking zero. That should change.

Josie said...

I dunno Don, I'm in a baaaaaad mood. (see comment directed at waffles if you don't believe me)

KenP said...

Dearest Punkette,

The net is wall to wall with your hands. You've even posted some yourself.

That said; that is Hold'em. If you don't realize that there is a name for you. It is Waffles.

Anonymous said...

I believe you and I'm sorry if my mouth caused some of it.

I promise I'll be good....really I do.

Josie said...

Ken, please see comment to waffles and consider yourself cc'd. Have I mentioned I'm in a bad mood?

Don, Thank you sweetie. We'll def do a rematch. :)

Bayne_S said...

" lightning36 said...
The Queen, or rather, PRINCESS, once again fails to mention that I am up 3-2 in HU matches and she refuses to play me again."

leads to an "as well"