Tuesday, January 31, 2012

So I'm walking home from the Bus Stop

As Cranky suggested, I rode the bus home and lost myself in the final book of the Gunslinger series.  I am so very close to the end, yet I don't really want it to.  I don't know if I don't want it to end so much as I don't want to read the ending I disliked so much the first time.  In any event, the stresses of the day rolled off my back, and I was walking home.

Singing a bit to myself as I motored along.

Until...

Far ahead of me I saw something BIG at the corner of the sidewalk,where I make a turn.  It was a huge German Shepard who was thankfully on a leash.  I was pretty far away from him still, yet I was mapping my escape route.  Dogs do not stay in the middle of the sidewalk immobile though, so I was anxiously hoping dog and owner would move before I approached them.

No such luck.

I saw the guy tug the leash but the dog was focused.  On me.  (I shiat you not) and wouldn't move.  His eyes were all alert and happy and was kinda lurching toward me FML.  I mean really?  Both he and I were about the same height and I was not in the mood for this shiat.  If you're a new reader keep in mind that I don't like dogs and dogs (and donkeys) bite me.

I figured this was not the time for small talk.  Mind you, I am socially retarded in person and that's with me actually trying to be social, in this case, I didn't even make an attempt.  I kept walking toward that huge effing dog who was barely being held back by his leash. 

First words to the owner as I approached was "Does he bite?" 

Now that I was in speaking distance the dog was looking at me like a long lost friend and was thumping his tail wildly.

Dog Owner: No he doesn't bite.  I've never seen him act like this.  Did you see how he was waiting for you?  I couldn't pull him away! (yeah effing awesome)

Josie (no social skills):  I got bitten by my neighbor's dog a while ago.  Are you sure he doesn't bite?

Dog Owner:  No!  Look at him dying to get to you.  He LIKES you. 

Hmfph.  As much as I dislike dogs, I don't hate the larger ones and he did seem very friendly.  He was all like, pat me! Pat me! Hey baby, just a pat!  Plus he didn't sniff my crotch or try to knock me over.  He like sat there and loved getting petted so much, I even scratched him behind the ears and he was like "ooooooo woof!"

So as much as I thought I was walking toward misery, it actually didn't suck.  I even patted the fucking dog and chatted with the owner. (that's really good for me - like a double whammy.  I hate dogs and I hate making small talk with people I don't know)  I started walking away, feeling pretty good....

and then.....

Dog owner got into stride next to me, and kept talking.

And talking.

And talking.

And walked me home.

OMFG

It's a long walk home and I got to hear all about his cold, his wife's cold, his wife's job, about how incredibly awesome his dog is...blah blah blah.  I actually considered taking a detour which would've lengthened my walk but then I thought, what if he just follows me and keeps talking?  Plus it was really cold out.  :(

I got home and had to leave shortly thereafter to tie up some loose ends with the receptionist, which I did.  I just got home from that bit of fun and as I left her house she came out onto the street and started yelling 'I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!'.  I was very close to dissing the whole thing, but I'm glad now that I didn't.  Yes, she was drunk when she professed her love for me.  So what.

The night we went out for drinks (which I never told you about properly) was the only night I've ever seen her where she didn't get falling down drunk.  It was downright disappointing!  So much so, there wasn't much to report.  She was downright quiet and drank 2 beers instead of her usual wine or vodka.  I still cannot believe it.  Especially considering it was her night to drink for free.

Which reminds me....in order to get a girl to come out, I had to agree to go out for drinks with her, when crazy girl wasn't around so we can really talk.  So me and 2 chicks are going out tonight (Tuesday) to gossip our lips off.  Plus this is the girl who I give oodles of men advice to and she had a first date over the weekend.  This will give me the opportunity I need to get all the info from her and advise her on her next steps to land this man if she wants to.  Should be fun.

Speaking of dating advice....I've been sharing my pearls of wisdom with Waffles and he's been doing pretty damn well.  Mr. Pessimistic doesn't think so but I do.  I think he expected her to rip her clothes off and throw herself at him on the first date.  Sheesh!  Some things take a little time and effort. 

What else is going on....I played a live tourney on Saturday night and had one of the worst beats I've ever had.  Ever.  I don't feel bad about this though as I couldn't have effected the outcome.  I was playing against a very bad player, which is good long term, right?  I had 9-10 and decided to call a raise to see a flop, which was 6-7-8 rainbow.  Cha-ching!  I was up against the chip leader who was just hitting crazy draws and that was how she got her chips.  fine by me.  I bet, she raised and I jammed all in, hoping she'd call.  She thinks for a bit and calls.  Awesome.  She had K-J of clubs.  She had NOTHING.  No draws and no pair.  Turn was a club and river was a club for a rivered flush.  I could not fucking believe it.  I still fucking can't but what can I do.  I want a donkey call like that any day of the week, right?  To be honest I should also mention that she was very drunk.

In work we are not replacing the receptionist as we are about to have a round of layoffs.  Plan is to suck it up for the foreseeable future which includes dispersing her duties...and people fending for themselves a bit.  The biggest issue is having a warm body actually sitting at the front desk.  Right now the executive assistant to the owners is doing it, but my plan is for the marketing assistant to share this.  All was going just fine until about 9:30am when one of the associates comes by to tell me we're out of paper...the big kind for like printing big mo' fo' drawings.  I have a feeling this is the beginning of a lot more headaches.  :(

Speaking of headaches...I am very worried about Gronk and his high ankle sprain.  He's missed three practices so far.  Booo!!!  This is a kid who hasn't missed a game in the past couple of seasons.  I KNOW he will not miss the superbowl, I just worry that he won't be 100%.

I just finished the final book of the Gunslinger series on the bus ride in this morning.  Whatever I read next will pale in comparison.  Maybe the ending sucked a little bit less this time since I was prepared for it.  I don't know.  Now I'm thinking it was the perfect ending insomuch as no other ending would be as good.

Ka is a wheel and it just keeps rolling along.  I think Ka will be rolling to Foxwoods for me.  Just as soon as the Patriots win the Superbowl. <---also ka.

Play smart.

Josie

PS. Hi Jeff!

18 comments:

SirFWALGMan said...

Tell your cheap ass bosses that the 6 bucks an hour it costs to hire a little pretty intern will pay for itself in lost productivity from higher paid professionals having to run to Staples and pick up a pack of paper. yeeshh. Cut some different corners you retards.

Anonymous said...

lolololol epic rant imo

was nice coz i jus broke a mouse when playin hu wif a fishontilt - he shoved a double stack pre and i snapped his hand off with jj.... what he have??

he had 34o like a certified gangsta and 3xx3x board came down

then he ran, weeeeeeeeeeeee

off tilt now so ur present is going to be some more peepee pics of me and Mr B xD

fboyyyyyyyyy

Josie said...

Fboy, LOL Bummer about the jacks being cracked. People are crazy!

As much as I do like presents, do not send me any pictures. Comments are gift enough. :)

Cranky said...

VJ - great post! I wonder what the animal attraction was from the Shepherd?

I agree with Waffles re the receptionist. Penny wise and pound foolish. Have the high-priced professional talent waste time on administrivia. Dumb.

Josie said...

lol Thanks Cranky. I dunno what the damn attraction is or I'd fix it. I wonder if its that I'm short....or as my sister's asian friend once said to her...

"Your sister...she not too high".

Anonymous said...

tony has teh digital images and said he wud ship them after he played his $1 freeplay at circus circus and gets a limo bk to redrock

eek

fboyyy

Zin said...

@fboy was Jacked Up will be on ESPN highlights, hehehehe...

@josie, the Patriots are probably a better team with Hernandez than with Gronk(guy who was scared of BB)imo. Hernandez can make all the catches Gronk makes and can run out of the backfield something Gronk is incapable of doing.
The Patriots don't really have much of a chance with or with out Gronk. Bottom line is that the Giants are just the better team.
The Patriots have Eddelman playing defense come on man, that shows how bad the Patriots secondary is when you have to go to an offensive player to play defense. Sorry josie but it is what it is.
Already missing the receptionist, lol, might be time to start looking for a new job.

Josie said...

@zin, any given sunday.

Zin said...

@josie your #1 with me sweetness.

Rob said...

Sorry about that tourny suck out. Calls an all in needing runner runner for a flush to beat your flopped straight...and gets it? Ouch. Too bad you weren't around when somebody gets all her chips for making such stupid calls.

grrouchie said...

Zin, last time an offensive player played DB for the pats didn't they win a superbowl?

I'm pretty sure I'm remembering this correctly.

Also, he played fairly decent against the Ravens - not great, but not earth shatteringly bad.

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Anonymous said...

pics are cancelled, TBC has a boil on his "asshole"

sorry Josie =(

FBOYYY

Josie said...

FBOY, Thats a damn fine good reason to cancel.

Zin said...

@grrouchie, that was last time, history does not help the Patriots or anyone else. You cannot compare the Ravens receivers with the Giants receivers, its like night and day. I just hope we get a good game and not a blowout by either team.
I do give the Patriots credit, the Patriots have stepped up there defense a tad in the playoffs, is it enough we will find out.

JT88Keys said...

P.S. Your P.S. really made me laugh.

Josie said...

:)

Wolfshead said...

Oh boy, VJ and an Alsatian, Waffles must be drooling.