Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Here I Am!

Remember me?

Too busy in work yesterday to post and I should've written something up the night before but....I didn't.  I may have been emailing and IMing instead.  I dunno.  I DO know that I've been going to bed late every night, yet not accomplishing much.

Friday is the receptionist's last day at work.  Long time readers have heard stories about her.  She's seriously the nuttiest person I have ever met, and I've met a lot of people.  Add to that the fact that she's a drinker and when she drinks, she is very volatile and unpredictable.  She's one of the reasons why I didn't go out drinking after the holiday party.  She wanted us to go together and I've been in that situation before and regretted it.  Everyone here at the office has.  The stuff she's done after a few drinks would make your hair stand on end.

A couple of years ago I went to the after party with a bunch of people, including her, and she physically accosted me.  And embarrassed me. In public.  And I don't embarrass easily.  I'd written about this before and was looking for the post to link this to, but I must've deleted it.  Guess I'll have to give you a recap.  :)

In the Green Dragon after the holiday party, I'm standing at the bar, chatting and whatnot.  She, very drunk, walks up to me and in a very loud voice says "You're short!".  And I am, so I readily agree but then stupidly add, "You're not so tall yourself". <---dumb.  Her response is to yell "Well my tits are bigger than yours!".  Every head in the bar turned towards us.  She was absolutely correct by the way.  They were HUGE. Like a J or a K cup and I'm not kidding.  She's since had a breast reduction, but anyway.....

I readily agreed with her and in her drunken state she started complaining about how they were so heavy.  omfg. and then she wants to SHOW me how heavy they were so she walks right up to me, lifts them up and plops them on my chest and was like - see how heavy?  She had me trapped against the bar with her boobs on me!  Yeah, so I stopped going out in public with her for the most part after that.

God help me, her goodbye bash (which she is throwing herself) is at a bar Thursday night and I promised her I'd go.  She's had a hard couple of months and most of the people in the office are not going (because of previous drunken behaviour) and I don't want her sitting there by herself, so I told her I'm going and I'm not leaving early.  Lord knows how this is going to end up, but I feel it's the least I can do for her.  I'm trying to talk a couple of other peeps into going by saying I would def be there, and I'd be expensing some rounds.  Free booze = God help Josie.  If I get drunk enough (and I will) I may take pictures.  Hopefully they won't be of her on top of me.

She leaves the country on Monday, back to her home land (Canada). It's been quite a ride.



grrouchie said...

man o man - if'n I were in town I'd be there before y'all showed up and stay till after you left.

This would be an amusing show to watch lol.

Good luck with it though - maybe she has settled down since then?
Maybe with not a whole bunch of people going she'll take it easy and you two can just have great conversation for a few hours and then head home.

Or maybe you're the only one who shows up and she now thinks you are her new bestie and she'll call you and text you and email you daily just to chat about the weather and boys (kinda like I already do - bitch taking my spot).

lightning36 said...

"She had me trapped against the bar with her boobs on me!"

The Waffles Dream

Josie said...

@grrouchie, no she hasn't settled down, she's prolly worse as drinking is worse. lol you're prolly right about her thinking we're besties now but I banned her from drunk dialing/texting over a year ago (long story).

lightning, he would've been crushed. I was traumatized I tell you!

Cranky said...

VJ - Yowza! I hope you are able to get some other work friends there to deflect her focus off of you for a bit. At least this is the last time you'll have to go to a bar with her.

Do you think she'll ask you to be a reference? :-)

Josie said...

Yes, she's already asked me to be a reference. I told her I would.

I think we have 4-5 peeps already. FWIW there are pics of her putting the giant melons on various guys from the office too.

SirFWALGMan said...

LOL. If you need a bodyguard I can come! I expect at least a few rounds comped for my services. :).

Zin said...

VJ we have only heard one side of the story about the nutty receptionist, you should let her tell her side of the story on your blog, lol. Good luck at the party and wear a heavy duty bra just in case you have to carry her boobs again, lol.

Josie said...

Zin, you are going to have to trust me on this.

Wildcat Fan said...


grrouchie said...

I'm with Zin on this.

Can I have said crazy chick with big tits contact info.
I'd like to ask her a few questions, get her drunk and then take pics of her ta-ta's on various parts of my body.
Totally for research purposes.

Then, I'll conduct an interview with her (after intoxication has fully occurred) discussing different points of your blog that involve her and her work performance as pointed out by you. But I'll tell her that I got the info from Jery Vosie - she'll never figure that shit out.

Said interview will then be posted on my blog, with pics, and I'll be a Superstar!

Josie said...

ROFLLLLLLL No Grrouchie! No contact info for you!

grrouchie said...

Very disappointed in your answer but I guess I'll live.

And, your comment on my last blog got me in a tizzy so I've already worked up the "ladies edition" blog post.

Will post it tomorrow before work :)

Josie said...

Lol really? That's awesome. Cant wait...I think.

Wolfshead said...

Damn, you sure you two aren't on an anime show? Have to tell my daughter that story so she can put it into the manga she is attempting to write. It'll be a hit. BTW, Mar just went out the tubes yesterday unless my insurance has a low deductible for replacing windshields