Thursday, July 22, 2010

Story Time! (No poker content)

Both bosses are out today so I have time for a little story about my old boss, but first a little background.  As you probably know I work for an architecture firm in Boston and have been with them for about 6 years.  Prior to this job I worked at a different architecture firm in the same office building where I work now.  I was at the old firm for about 5 years. (till I got laid off)  This story is about the old boss from the old firm.

Peter (old boss) was a very odd and very unhappy man.  After working with him for 5 years I figured out why.  He was definitely gay, but married with two kids, which made him very miserable.  He absolutely HATED his wife and would talk bad about her every chance he got.  And he used to make VERY suggestive comments to my male coworker, but I'll omit them from this post.  It's not what this story is about.

The story is about jogging!!

Peter decided to start jogging.  He had a male friend that was doing it so he joined him.  He'd run like 4 days a week at lunchtime.  And he'd run in those micro short running shorts - fire engine red.  The problem was that instead of going to the men's room to change he'd change in his office, which was separated from mine by a GLASS DOOR.  And if he just said, "I'm changing" before he did, I would've been fine with that,  But he didn't.  So I never knew when I walked by that door if the ugly fucker was clothed or not.  Yes a couple of times I had to utter 'Oh I'm sorry...you should say something when you're changing" and I'd avert my eyes.

I really think it was more for my coworker's benefit but I'd be the one embarrassed/upset by it.

One day he's in his shorts, so I figure the strip down is over.  Cool.  He's in his office and I walk in for something and I'm shocked.

He's sitting behind his desk....TOPLESS....and rubbing, what looks to me like a deodorant stick, ON HIS NIPPLES.  I shiat you not.  I'm like - Oops, thought you were fucking dressed, and I run out.

He puts his shirt on and explains to me that he was rubbing some stick on his nips to prevent chafing that he gets from running.  BARF!

I say "Can you do that in the bathroom?"

He says "Oh it only takes a second, that was just bad timing."  And off he ran in his micro mini red shorts.

Yuck.

I was reminded of this encounter because like I said, I work in the same office building as the old firm, just a different floor.  So I'm riding the elevator coming back from lunch (sushi) and there's an old coworker in there.  We say hello and he introduces me to his colleagues who now work there.  We do some name dropping, and I mention some of the principals that are no longer there.  One of the guys says he doesn't know them but has heard stories.  Hmmm...I say have you heard any stories about me?  The guys says "No, all the weird stories told about accounting are about this guy named Peter....."

Josie

8 comments:

The Poker Meister said...

Not a runner, but I think that is legit; guys do get chafing from running. Sounds gross, but pretty sure it's not a perverse thing.

Schaubs said...

Better than having bloody nipplies!

It's pretty common for runners, especially distance runners.

Josie said...

I agree it's legit but damn, DO IT IN THE BATHROOM. Not in an office!

Josie said...

And I've got perv stories to be sure, I'm just being NICE.

Cricket said...

ewwww...hilarious!

The Neophyte said...

I cannot imagine sitting in an office with clear glass windows and changing or putting something on to keep my nipples from chafing. If my nipples are chafing it's either time to quit running or tell someone to ease off a bit at night. What a weirdo. You do seem to attract that type tho Josie

Josie said...

Neo - He was my boss so don't blame me - you cannot choose the people you work with...believe me I wish I could.

The office had a glass door not windows, and his desk wasn't in front of it so you coldn't see him till u stepped in. Ugh.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

I love this story, and I'm totally with you--bathroom activities should be done in the BATHROOM. I almost murdered a co-worker for clipping his fingernails in his cubicle. Murder may sound extreme, but completely justified, if you ask me.