Thursday, February 2, 2012

Did You Know...

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a

substitute for Blood plasma.

Josie:  I wonder if vampires can drink coconut milk.

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No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Josie:  Go ahead...I'll wait.  No, I couldn't do it either.

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Donkeys kill more people annually

than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )

Josie:  OMG I could've been killed!

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You burn more calories sleeping

than you do watching television.

Josie:  OMG I should be like 110 lbs!  I've been gypped!

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Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are

fifty (50) years of age or older.

Josie: KenP has been producing acorns for decades!

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The first product to have a bar code

was Wrigley's gum.

Josie: Barcodes are for wimps.  I used to work in a supermarket during college and every effing can and box had to be manually keyed in.  I won speediest cashier month after month because of my agile fingers.

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The King of Hearts is the only king

WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE

Josie:  BFD

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American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive

from each salad served in first class.

Josie:  I looooooooove olives, but find this very hard to believe.

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Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Josie:  Venus is the planet associated with women, so women are the ones going in the right direction.

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Apples, not caffeine,

are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .

Josie:  No fucking way!  Coffee!!!!!
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Most dust particles in your house are made from

DEAD SKIN !

Josie: Gross!

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The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

So did the first ' Marlboro Man'.

Josie:  No surprise - ciggys give you cancer and cost way too fucking much.  btw I have never ever had a puff of a cigarette in my life.

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Walt Disney was afraid

OF MICE!

Josie: Me too!

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PEARLS DISSOLVE

IN VINEGAR !

Josie:  No shit.  Pearls are soft and porous and vinegar is acidy.

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The three most valuable brand names on earth:

Marlboro, Coca Cola , and Budweiser, in that order.

Josie:  Diet Coke!

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It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...

but, not downstairs.

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A duck's quack doesn't echo,

and no one knows why.

Josie:  According to Edward, this is FALSE.

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Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Josie: I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !

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And the best for last.....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Josie: I know some people that must be turtles in disguise, don't YOU ?

18 comments:

SirFWALGMan said...

what if a turtle farts when it is breathing?

Edward said...

Actually, a duck's quack DOES echo. http://www.sciencemadesimple.co.uk/page29g.html

Josie said...

Well Hi Edward! I hope you're not Edward from those vampire movies, but if you are, do you drink coconut milk? Thanks for the clarification on the quacking. My son is dying to have a duck as a pet. No idea why, but I'm sure it would bite me if we got one.

Zin said...

josie has to much time on her hands and her better half the receptionist gets laid off.

Zin: Something is wrong with this picture, lol.

Zin said...

@josie any info yet on BCP, let me know asap sunshine. By the way i am going to give myself off the rest of the week, is that ok josie?

Cranky said...

VJ - the whole duck quack not echoing makes no sense. It's a sound like any other, so of course it would echo.

Skip was bitten by a very large duck once who was intent on getting the piece of bread she was offering it. It broke the skin so we figured she should get a tetanus shot. The doc at the walk-in clinic had a hard time keeping a straight face when she said she was bitten by a duck.

Bayne_S said...

Paper folding is wrong.

Key is greater hand strength and starting with a D size schematic

Lucki Duck said...

Ummm ... I believe I'm the only one who should be answering duck questions around here!

"because of my agile fingers."

I would like to hear more about this talent.

KenP said...

KenP has been producing acorns for decades!
Here I be -- the mighty oak ... once a nut like you.

because of my agile fingers
Better occupation than clerk for that

The King of Hearts is the only king wITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
Holds true for Italian women too.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Same place Josie pulls cards.

Struggling for content? Might try pictures of casinos.

Josie said...

Ducky, I have seriously talented fingers. Thats all you need to know.

Ken! *sob* I'm not even going to respond to today's insults because I am sooo upset. MY KINDLE WON'T WORK!!!! OMFG IT WONT EVEN POWER ON. *SOB*

KenP said...

You did charge it, right?

Remove the battery.

Let it set for 10 minutes or so.

Reinstall battery.

Pray.

Wolfshead said...

If it works like my Nook plug it in to an AC outlet, not a computer, to charge for at least 15 min then hold the power button in for 2 min and it reboots.

Wolfshead said...

If it works like my Nook plug it in to an AC outlet, not a computer, to charge for at least 15 min then hold the power button in for 2 min and it reboots.

grrouchie said...

what did you do to the kindle?
was it your amazingly talented fingers that did it?

If A woman bitches and a man is not around to hear it, is he still in trouble?

Josie said...

I dunno what happened. It just would not power up or turn on after being just fricking fine the night before. I just returned it and got a new one.

No you're not in trouble! Eff that bitchy woman! :)

KenP said...

Curse Potion

2 Eye of Newt (other one)
10 drops Sweat of Toad.
Stir in Very Essence of Josie to flavor

Guaranteed to turn anything that works into its dysfunctional equivalent or broken hulk.

bigbootydaddy said...

Go Patriots!!!

Josie said...

Yeah baby! Go Patriots Indeed!