Did You Know...
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a
substitute for Blood plasma.
Josie: I wonder if vampires can drink coconut milk.
**************************************************
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Josie: Go ahead...I'll wait. No, I couldn't do it either.
**************************************************
Donkeys kill more people annually
than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )
Josie: OMG I could've been killed!
*************************************************
You burn more calories sleeping
than you do watching television.
Josie: OMG I should be like 110 lbs! I've been gypped!
************************************************
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are
fifty (50) years of age or older.
Josie: KenP has been producing acorns for decades!
************************************************
The first product to have a bar code
was Wrigley's gum.
Josie: Barcodes are for wimps. I used to work in a supermarket during college and every effing can and box had to be manually keyed in. I won speediest cashier month after month because of my agile fingers.
*************************************************
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
Josie: BFD
************************************************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive
from each salad served in first class.
Josie: I looooooooove olives, but find this very hard to believe.
************************************************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Josie: Venus is the planet associated with women, so women are the ones going in the right direction.
************************************************
Apples, not caffeine,
are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .
Josie: No fucking way! Coffee!!!!!
************************************ **********
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN !
Josie: Gross!
***********************************************
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first ' Marlboro Man'.
Josie: No surprise - ciggys give you cancer and cost way too fucking much. btw I have never ever had a puff of a cigarette in my life.
***********************************************
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
Josie: Me too!
***********************************************
PEARLS DISSOLVE
IN VINEGAR !
Josie: No shit. Pearls are soft and porous and vinegar is acidy.
**********************************************
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola , and Budweiser, in that order.
Josie: Diet Coke!
**********************************************
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
but, not downstairs.
*********************************************
A duck's quack doesn't echo,
and no one knows why.
Josie: According to Edward, this is FALSE.
*********************************************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
Josie: I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !
*********************************************
And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Josie: I know some people that must be turtles in disguise, don't YOU ?
substitute for Blood plasma.
Josie: I wonder if vampires can drink coconut milk.
**************************************************
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Josie: Go ahead...I'll wait. No, I couldn't do it either.
**************************************************
Donkeys kill more people annually
than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )
Josie: OMG I could've been killed!
*************************************************
You burn more calories sleeping
than you do watching television.
Josie: OMG I should be like 110 lbs! I've been gypped!
************************************************
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are
fifty (50) years of age or older.
Josie: KenP has been producing acorns for decades!
************************************************
The first product to have a bar code
was Wrigley's gum.
Josie: Barcodes are for wimps. I used to work in a supermarket during college and every effing can and box had to be manually keyed in. I won speediest cashier month after month because of my agile fingers.
*************************************************
The King of Hearts is the only king
WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
Josie: BFD
************************************************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive
from each salad served in first class.
Josie: I looooooooove olives, but find this very hard to believe.
************************************************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Josie: Venus is the planet associated with women, so women are the ones going in the right direction.
************************************************
Apples, not caffeine,
are more efficient at waking you up in the morning .
Josie: No fucking way! Coffee!!!!!
************************************ **********
Most dust particles in your house are made from
DEAD SKIN !
Josie: Gross!
***********************************************
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first ' Marlboro Man'.
Josie: No surprise - ciggys give you cancer and cost way too fucking much. btw I have never ever had a puff of a cigarette in my life.
***********************************************
Walt Disney was afraid
OF MICE!
Josie: Me too!
***********************************************
PEARLS DISSOLVE
IN VINEGAR !
Josie: No shit. Pearls are soft and porous and vinegar is acidy.
**********************************************
The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola , and Budweiser, in that order.
Josie: Diet Coke!
**********************************************
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...
but, not downstairs.
*********************************************
A duck's quack doesn't echo,
and no one knows why.
Josie: According to Edward, this is FALSE.
*********************************************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
Josie: I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !
*********************************************
And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Josie: I know some people that must be turtles in disguise, don't YOU ?
Comments
Zin: Something is wrong with this picture, lol.
Skip was bitten by a very large duck once who was intent on getting the piece of bread she was offering it. It broke the skin so we figured she should get a tetanus shot. The doc at the walk-in clinic had a hard time keeping a straight face when she said she was bitten by a duck.
Key is greater hand strength and starting with a D size schematic
"because of my agile fingers."
I would like to hear more about this talent.
Here I be -- the mighty oak ... once a nut like you.
because of my agile fingers
Better occupation than clerk for that
The King of Hearts is the only king wITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
Holds true for Italian women too.
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Same place Josie pulls cards.
Struggling for content? Might try pictures of casinos.
Ken! *sob* I'm not even going to respond to today's insults because I am sooo upset. MY KINDLE WON'T WORK!!!! OMFG IT WONT EVEN POWER ON. *SOB*
Remove the battery.
Let it set for 10 minutes or so.
Reinstall battery.
Pray.
was it your amazingly talented fingers that did it?
If A woman bitches and a man is not around to hear it, is he still in trouble?
No you're not in trouble! Eff that bitchy woman! :)
2 Eye of Newt (other one)
10 drops Sweat of Toad.
Stir in Very Essence of Josie to flavor
Guaranteed to turn anything that works into its dysfunctional equivalent or broken hulk.