Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's only Tuesday?

Here's the official countdown:

2 days until I go to Foxwoods. I'm going on Thursday, a day early.  I have a room at an uber cheap rate and I want to play the cash game on Thursday night.
3 days until my tournament.  Is it Friday yet?
5 days until my birthday.  Yep, that's right.  I turn 45 years old (omfg) on Sunday, the 21st.  As my mother just said to me this past Sunday..."Wow, you're old."  I'm too good a daughter to point out that she turns the big 7-0 two weeks afterwards.  I want to get her a nice gift for the milestone birthday but she doesn't help. 

"How about a new cordless phone? If your phone was cordless you could bring it anywhere."

"No, my phone works fine. I don't need a phone"

"A cell phone then?"

"No!  I don't needa no phone!  I could use a nightgown."

Great.  She's no help at all.  Yeah, I'll get her a nightgown but I was looking for ideas on a bigger present.  I just called her (2 minutes ago) and out of the blue she says "You wanna know what I want for my birthday?  Forget about the nightgown.  I want a table cloth.  VINYL.  Not real cloth. Those stain."  Ugh.  A vinyl tablecloth.  Ma knows how to live it up.  I'll think of something else to get her though.

Did you know Billy Joel wrote a song about me?

She can kill with a smile

She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
She steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind
She will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

That's the kind of woman I'll be at Foxwoods, but if I'm not playing poker I'm a sweetheart. Well...kinda.

Play smart.



PokahDave said...

....or you could just distract with cleavage....

Josie said...

Heh, that goes without saying.

The only question is how low will I go?

The answer....pretty fricking low (cut).