Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Football and Porn Stars

Da Bears ROCK (clicky on the picky for legibility)

Not that I want to count my chickens before they hatch, but it's the 4th Quarter and The Bears are beating the Vikings 40-14. (Put a fork in Favre, he's done)  So far, so good.  If the Bears win, I get a check for $70 plus I am back to first place for the year end grand prize.  Technically when the bears win, I'll be tied with Ed for first place, but same difference!  I own this league!!!  :)

Update:  I winned!  When Minnesota came out with guns blazing and scored first I was a wee bit worried.  But alas, that was for nothing!  Da Bears kicked ass and took names.  I am now officially a Bears fan.  Mama likie!

Damn, just watching this game is making me colder than I already am!  In Boston it's about 25 degrees and still snowing lightly.  Came home in a miserably slow commute and still haven't fully warmed up even though I am in a flannel shirt and slipper socks with a nice warm blankie on my lap.  Hands are cold, as is my nose, but I have a feeling those football players are a wee bit colder than I am. Brrr.

I know what'll warm me up!  Male Porn Stars!  Let's take a look at this Motley Crue!

Porn Star Names
Very Josie = Sheba Monroe
Hoyazo = Tiger Eaglebrook
Lightning = Frisky Inverness (I bet you're Frisky!)
Bayne = Bayne
Gary = Mamie Monson
Pokah Dave = Lucky ShadyHill (Hmmm lucky and shady)
Wolfie = Prince Elric Wood
Grange = Rascal Tower (if that's not a porn name, I dunno what is)
Acornman = Kim Highfield (transvestite?)
Bammer = Muffin Service (best name EVAR)
Miami Don = P.D. Woodpath (follow the path to the wood??)
The Wife = Queenie Starks
Neo = Blitz Dean
JT88* = Pierre Townsend (for those who prefer a classy porn star)
Waffles = Charlie Egg Mount lollllllllllll

You guys rock! I was having a boring day....trying to get labor projections from project managers...scheduling review meetings with the owner and said managers so we can monitor costs carefully and meet the projected multiples.  Hmmm what else did I do today?  Reclass our amex bill, review some contracts...*yawn*  but every once in a while, I'd check my blog and BOOM, there'd be a name like  "Rascal Tower", "Muffin Service" or "Prince WOOD".  Frigging cracked me up.  And what was waiting for me, when I got home from the nasty, snowy commute?  None other than "PD WOODPath". lolllll

Kinda reminds me of the first time I saw a penis....LIVE as in, in person.  Please forgive me if I've already written about this as I cannot recall if I have or not.  (sad, huh?)  Anyway, I was 18 yrs old and pure of body. (I doubt I was ever pure of mind)  Anyway, there is this strip joint in Massachusetts called The Golden Banana.  Awesome name, right?  Anyway, it was a regular female strip club, despite what the name would lead you to assume, but Sunday night was Ladies night and they had male strippers.  My sister (5 yrs older and not nearly as pure) was going with a bunch of her girlfriends and talked me into going with them.  I had a fake ID that looked NOTHING like me, but I got in. 

Now I knew these guys were going to strip, but I assumed they left their undies on.  Not so!  More and more clothes came off, until the g-strings were yanked off too.  The size shocked me, but more than that, they'd swing those schlongs like they were jumping rope!  I shiat you not!  But the weirdest thing was that they all seemed to have their penises tied to their other equipment as they shook them round and round.  And even though they were reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallly long, none of them were erect.

Very weird.  Plus some of the women were going frigging crazy!  It was a little scary.  All these women screaming at the top of their lungs at these guys.  Ugh.  I remember one stripper taking quite an interest in both me and my cousin Maria (both under 21). We were horrified and he was like, "Then why are you here?"  LOL 

Hmmm that being said, I just found The Golden Banana LINK for this post.  I wonder if Sunday night is still Ladies night.  :)  Only kidding!  If I really want to see a show, I'll just wave a few dollar bills at Lucky Shadyhill.  He's local!

Play smart.

Josie

*P.S.  JT88, your name intrigues me.  In case you didn't already know, JT is my fave hand in NLHE.  When pocket 8s are added does it become a fave omaha hand?



5 comments:

JT88Keys said...

Actually it has nothing to do with poker. I play piano and have for like 30+ years. It's the thing most of my friends in real life would associate with me the most, so it became my online moniker for most everything.

JT are my initials and there are 88 keys on a piano. Boring and unimaginative. Sorry.

Josie said...

Ahhh a pianist, very classy, like your porn name. LOL

However, you are now hereby christened Jack Ten! Okay Jack?

PokahDave said...

LOL...the Golden Banana...nobody outside NE would believe it was a strip club where women strip. Maybe I can make some cash and strip on ladies night with my new moniker 'Lucky Shadyhill'.

Hurricane Mikey-- said...

Sorry I didn't get here earlier, but my porn name would be Baron Silverstone. I guess you could put a 'von' in the middle to make it really sound classy...

Josie said...

Ooooo Baron!