Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm a Bad Mommy

I said something horrible. Truly, I was in panic mode and just reacting. I just don’t know why I reacted that way and said what I said. 

In my house we do NOT insult each other. I’ve never called Sugar Bear dumb, stupid, ignorant, evil spawn….you get the idea. Okay, I may have called him evil spawn, but he knew that was in jest. So that being said…..

Last night I got back from my walk and he got back from a dip in Neighbor Sue’s jacuzzi. This means he was dripping wet from head to toe (literally) and standing by the front door when our cat Pokey started knocking on the back door. Whenever Pokey wants to come in she bangs on the screen door with her paw until someone comes. Since Sugar Bear was dripping water, I told him to stay where he was and I’d let her in.

Pokey loves loves loves loves to hunt and kill animals and man, she’s good at it. She’s always leaving headless mice, birds and snakes by the back door. Obviously Pokey likes head. So in she comes and I see a tiny grey mouse, left in her wake, by the back step – completely still. This one does still have its head and even though its lifeless, its ears are standing up. Hmmmm and then it starts to move a tiny bit. Ugh.

So what did I do? Anyone?


Here is where it gets bad…

Sugar Bear (who loves animals as much as I skeeve them) comes running to see the mouse so I tell him to look out the window of the door. He sees the mouse moving and grooving (but obv nicked by Pokeylicious) so he opens the door, WIDE OPEN, and says:

“Come on Mousie! Mousie come here!” While making kissy noises.
WTF! He has the door open and is inviting the diseased rat into the house! So I yell:
“What are you retarded? Shut the door!”
And he just looks at me shocked and then finally closes the door and says “You think I’m retarded? Are you going to keep calling me that?” Frankly, I was shocked too. I don’t usually use that word in a derogatory way. I mean who am I, Waffles?
And I’d kill Sugar Bear if he used that word like that and he knows this. He’s not allowed to and I’d never set such a bad example for him, yet I just did!

Sugar Bear is very hurt at this point but instead of apologizing I rationalize it to him.

You had the door open and were calling the mouse inside!!! I had to say something!”

“You think I’m retarded!” was the only response I got. That and the cold shoulder for about 20 minutes and then *poof* he was fine, and resumed his job of aggravating me. It’s a full time job with no time off for holidays!



Hurricane Mikey-- said...

All parents, at some point, wonder if their kids are retards.

Except parents of actual retards. They already know.

SirFWALGMan said...

tell him to man up.

Josie said...

LOL Mikey Baby! How u doing?

Waffles - I will not!

Wolfshead said...

See, that's why it pays to start insulting them early, they get used to it. I insult the hell out of my daughter. Of course she gives it back double. Always done in jest.

Josie said...

He does insult me, lemme tell ya, and then it's "Mom, you're beautiful" when he wants something. (and yes it works every time)

Josie said...

He does insult me, lemme tell ya, and then it's "Mom, you're beautiful" when he wants something. (and yes it works every time)

Gary said...

I remember well an evening where the Pokester brought in a crow, very much alive and safe in his jaws, right into the kitchen with a proud swagger. He was all like "check THIS shit out, family!" - whereupon Josie screamed, Pokey let go, and the crow started flying around the house. 5 minutes of I Love Lucy ensued. Awesome, just awesome.

SmBoatDrinks said...

At least you didn't say F***ing Retard!

KenP said...

You think he was hurt? You think his friends don't say much worse?

You must be a baby grand because he's playing you like a piano

Josie said...

Gary - I remember that! *shudder*. Poker brought live birds in more than once, which is why we check her mouth before letting her in now.

Oh and Pokey, though she was named after Pokey Reese IS A GIRL.

Boaty! I still owe u a tshirt! It's being mailed this week, I swear!

Ken - I'm sure they say worse but I'm his Mama, that's different. But yeah he does play me like a piano...

KenP said...

Oh, come on. Everybody here as walked the numbers on everybody else. He's got you pegged to perfection. Now go buy him a new game for his console. That might make him feel better after the abuse he suffered.

Josie said...

Erm....he got a new cell phone yesterday....Shut up!

KenP said...

I'm taking from the response that my message got there but isn't released.

I am so hurt by that.

Do I get a new cell phone too?



Pretty please... :(

Josie said...

Sorry Ken. I thought I'd released it and no you don't get a new cell phone, but then again I don't get a new celly either.

KenP said...

But, you don't deserve one because you are a bad Mommy! HB and I are so deserving and so abused. Oh, woe is us.

KenP said...

You don't get a new phone? That is a shame. If anybody should have one it is you. You are the only person I know that could wear one out.