Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I have a dream!

Oh wait a minute....it was Memorial Day, not MLK Jr. Day, but still.  I had a dream and I usually don't remember my dreams yet I remembered this one!

I was in Las Vegas (yay me!) and somehow I ended up sharing a room with Jen Aniston!  I shiat you not! Btw she's even hotter in dreams person, but let me back track a bit.  I was going to Vegas and meeting my two cousins there, Sara and Maria.  My mother told me in no uncertain terms that I must be home in time for Thanksgiving, which was a few days away.  Anyway, I get there, meet up with my cousins at the pool and then they intoduce me to Jen Aniston while pool side and get this....She was there in a tiny tangerine bikini bottom and that's it.  She was sunbathing topless.  I tried to appear cool for about 2 seconds and then I was all like "OMG You're Jen!  I love your tan." Of course I was trying to NOT look at her tanned bosom, yet that proved impossible.  She told me topless was the only way to tan.  Hmmmmm

Fast forward to our room......turns out my cousins were sharing one bed and I was sharing the other with Jen!  We had a blast and no, nothing x rated happened, although I did miss my flight and Thanksgiving.  Ma was not happy about THAT.

I've never been a big fan (or even a little one) of Jennifer Aniston, but let me tell you this:  JENNIFER ANISTON IS HOT!

Play smart.


Thursday, May 26, 2011

I've been a Baaaaad Girl

Oh. My. God.  Have you guys ever had a Snickers Peanut Butter Square?  I never had, until this morning that is.  There's a bag of them here in the office and they're so good.  I'm telling you, if you look up ambrosia in the dictionary, you'll see one of these squares.  I'm not a huge snickers fan, but I DO love chocolate and peanut butter and baby, they've got the combo done pat.

After I had the first bite, I was all.....like this:

Hello Lover Snickers Peanut Butter Square....

 Is it so wrong to have candy for breakfast when it's just a little square?  Um, two squares, that is.

Oh and I'm having salad for lunch. :)

And for my late night dessert.......a heads up game with The Poker Grump a/k/a Rakewell and the stakes are high, which means I'll be kicking Poker Grump butt.  Poor guy wants to be beaten again by a girl. Who am I to say no?  Hmmm too bad peanut butter squares aren't part of the prop bet.

Play smart.


Monday, May 23, 2011

The Lion

I was reading my horoscope on the way in to work this morning and it gave me pause. (Now don't go rolling your eyes because you have to read my horoscope; it's good!)

Leo - You're craving excitement this week.  Even your favorite pastimes are starting to bore you.  Don't despair, an exciting new hobby will soon capture your attention and take up lots of your free time.

Isn't that interesting?  I mean I am craving excitement and of course my favorite pastime (this blog) is in fact, starting to bore me!  It's hard to have an exciting poker blog without, um, poker.  Speaking of poker, I played a heads up match against Jew Boy this weekend.  Anyone wanna guess who won?  :)  I'll give you a hint, it was a HEADS UP MATCH and I WAS PLAYING.

If you guessed me, you're right.  The whole game didn't last much longer than 15 minutes when I flopped trip queens and slow played them.  Jew Boy jammed all in and I instacalled.  GG Jew Boy!

Have I mentioned that I LOVE Heads Up play?  On Sunday, I got a little more HU action, albeit vicariously,  when I found the NBC HU invitational thingy on TV.  It was awesome!  Eric Siedel was poetry in motion against Moneymaker.  Ironically enough, their HU match ended very much the same way my match wtih Jew Boy did.  Eric flopped trips (trip 5s to be exact) and after a little slow playing Moneymaker jammed all in with Eric instacalling.  Eric and I played it the same way, except he won a little more graciously than I did.

So this got my HU appetite whetted and naturally my thoughts returned to Poker Grump.  He beat me HU very very easily.  Grrrr.  Grumpy, it's time for a rematch!  I haven't played online, even a play money game since Heff's first home game on Poker Stars which must've been over a month ago.  Grumpy, I challenge YOU to a Heads Up match!  Winner wins um money!  I don't play well unless there's cash on the line.  I propose that the loser pays the winner in person when I get to Vegas.  Surely he can hold onto my winnings until then.  :)  I never got over that loss against Grumpy.  I remember being instantly on tilt and playing crappy thereafter, but I am sooooo untilted now!  I'll email Poker Grump and post the details here when we've ironed them out.

The Queen of HU has returned.  I just wish I could be playing against Negreanu, Siedel and Duke, but there's always next year.

Play smart.


Saturday, May 21, 2011


Our receptionist is on vacation this week which means the reception desk is largly unmanned, although I stop by there in the afternoon to see if the mail is in....really to see if there are any checks in the mail. 

I was sitting at the reception desk and the owner is walking by the desk and asks me if Matt is in the South Studio. 


Our office is divided into two studios: The North Studio and The South Studio with reception smack in the middle.  I have zero sense of direction so even though I've been there almost seven years, I have to stop and think about it.  "Which one is the South Studio again?"  The South Studio is the studio on the South side of the building but I have NO CLUE which side that might be.  Even as I type this I'm only about 80% sure I know which studio is which.

The South Studio (or um, the North)

Couple that with the fact that in the past three months we've hired about nine new employees, which is alot for our small firm.  We've gone from a cozy 22-23 employees working on reduce hours to 32 employees working full time.  And as great as that is, I find it hard to remember all the new people's names. 

So keeping all this in mind, let's get back to the owner's question. 

Old, tired, 77 yr old man:  "Is Matt in the South Studio?"

Me:  "Ummm, hmmmm......yes, I'm pretty sure he's there."

And off he goes to the South Studio in search of....Matt.  After he left I start thinking "Hmmmm Matt...which one is Matt?"  I go through the new employees in the South Studio in my mind....Josh, Jason, Jonathan, Yujin, Madeleine.  No Matt!  New employees in North Studio:  Scott, Isaac, Erik, Tom.....

OMFG We don't have a new guy named Matt!  Yet I told him Matt was in the South Studio!

I peek over into the South Studio and the old owner is very animated and chatting with new guy Jason.  I guess he found who he was looking for.  He's closing in on 80 yrs old, so he's excused.  Me however, I have no excuse.  Ugh, that's what I get for sitting at reception.

Our fiscal year ends May 31st and I usually arrange for a New Year party every year.  This year, next Monday is Memorial Day which means our little New Year party is going to have to be next week!  And I have nothing in stone yet.  I have an idea, but it has to be approved by the owner and it's looking a little pricier than we usually spend.

My idea is to have a barbeque party catered in the office.  I already have the caterer and the menu, but not the final approval so the caterer is driving me nuts trying to get it finalized but as the owner's been out of town we've gotten nowhere.  One way or another I'll get him to approve it on Monday.

In Office BBQ Menu:

Grilled steak tips with plum something or other sauce
BBQ'd chicken legs, wings, thighs and breast
Potato Salad
Corn and red pepper something or other
Garden Salad, rolls
Watermelon wedges
Chocolate chip cookies *
Mike's Hard Lemonade

*Or we could have individual ice creams like Hoodsies (perhaps just a Boston term?) or ice cream bars in lieu of cookies for a more bbq feel.

Also, we'll have checkered table cloths and kitschy things like that.  Cute right?  Plus it's the beginning of the BBQ season so no one's sick of it yet.

I wonder if Matt will attend.  ;)


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Not ALL the neighbors bite

Did I mention that we have new neighbors?

Neighbor Sue (the one with the dog who bit my ass) has a 2 family house and a new family moved into the vacant floor.  Evan was uber excited about it because his friend Nick, from his school/grade now lives right across the street from us! 

When I got home last week Nick was over.  It started getting late and Evan hadn't done his homework and as much as I HATE to tell kids to go home, I had to break the news to him that Evan hadn't done his homework yet.  And then it struck me....this kid had been at my house all afternoon playing....

"Nick, have you done your homework?"

"Ummmmm......no" he said.

Obviously, I told him that he needed to do his homework too.  I had a feeling that was the last thing he was planning on doing.  He said it was hard so I told him to go get the worksheet and come back.  He could do it here with Evan and me.  He came back a half hour later carrying only a pen. (?)  He said he couldn't find it but he'd copy Evan's worksheet if I'd help him figure it out.  That was alot more work than it should've been, but he got it all done and went home happily.

It seems that Nick's mom doesn't check homework and doesn't make him go to bed on school nights (!). 

Fast forward to 2 nights ago.  Evan had a big project due on Wednesday and as I was at the sox game Monday night, I told him he could finish it (the lion's share) on Tuesday night.  So I get home from work Tuesday and Evan says "Mom, if Nick gets a bad grade on this project he'll fail, he'll have to go to summer school, he might stay back....I thought he was going to throw in earth quakes next.  And could he come over and do it here?

So Nick's back with his pen and back pack.  Somehow he lost ALL the paperwork and hadn't even started the project.  Ugh.  As Evan was finishing his, Nick was just starting.  We painstakingly went through ALL the steps required.  I made him read every little thing about the Roman colosseums, he drew his pictures, wrote his letter, and answered a ton of questions. OMG In only 3 hours he was done.  ("only" was sarcasm)  In the end he held up his multipage report with every item that was requested done and done well.  He looked at his finished product and exclaimed "This is the best report I've ever done!"  The look of pride on his face was priceless.  He didn't even mind that I had to yell at him (just a little bit) to keep him focused.  :)

Last night he was over (again) because it was Evan's spring concert and I asked him if he remembered to turn in his report.  Sometimes, turning it in is hard to remember.  He told me that he had and he said Mr. Burke looked at it and said it was amazing and easily his best work.  He might even get an A on it and he's never even gotten a B on reports before.

So I made a deal with Mr. No Bed Time.  I said "If you get an A, you have to go to bed at 10pm on school nights!"  He said he usually goes to bed by midnight and he didn't exactly agree.  Not yet anyway.  And of course Evan piped in that his bed time was 9:30 and totally unfair and he should stay up till 10pm too.  As if!

Although I did let Evan stay up till 10 last night because of his concert and he didn't really eat until afterwards.  I offered Nick a bagel and cream cheese and he said "Oh I'm good, I had a bag of potato chips today." OMFG

His mom, doesn't give him dinner, make him go to bed OR check his homework.  Oh and she ain't the sharpest tool in the shed either.  When she saw the racoons on our porch she said "You better hope they don't get in your flute.  If they get in the flute they'll lay eggs there and you'll never get rid of the babies once they hatch." And yes, she said "flute" TWICE, which is nothing compared to her racoon egg theory.


Monday, May 16, 2011

Friday the 13th on a Monday

When I left for work this morning I was loaded down more than usual.  I had my usual giant hand bag filled to the brim, but because it was Monday and because I was going to the Red Sox game tonight, I had an extra bag with me.  I was carrying breakfast for the week, a big jar of peanut butter (don't ask) a hard cover book, makeup, nail polish, 2 extra jackets, a thermal top, an umbrella, book, mp3 player and the list went on.   But so what, right?  The bus drops me off across the street from my office so I don't have to walk very far.

Or so I thought.

After the bus crossed the Tobin Bridge and took the exit to Charlestown, it BROKE DOWN.  The bus stalled and then would not start back up again.  Damn!  I had 2 options: walk the rest of the way or wait and flag down the next bus.  I knew the next bus was at least 20 minutes away so I decided to walk even though I was loaded down with all that shiat.  We were pretty much dumped on the grassy shoulder of a highway and I thought being a moving target was safer than just standing there.

As I'm walking (in the rain natch) like a pack mule I decide to take the "glass is half full" point of view.  I tell myself that maybe this is a good thing!  I'll get my walk in, and I wouldn't have time to do that tonight cuz I was going to the game.  Unfortunately the good attitude didn't last long, because things went from bad to worse quickly enough.  The grassy shoulder turned into a decent albiet small sidewalk.  Nice.  But then.....I had to cross a bridge.  On foot.  Which swayed with each passing car.  During morning rush hour traffic.  And the pathway I was walking on was like a loooooooooong metal grate so I could see the cold water below me as everything swayed.  Oh and the rain made it slippery too.  My mood went from happy to scared like that.  Yet I made it into work in about 20 minutes.

Because I was carrying too many bags I couldn't really use my umbrella.  Mind you, I spent an extra 10-15 minutes on my hair this morning because I'd be meeting clients at the game tonight, and rain frizzes my hair like you wouldn't believe.  It's not a big exaggeration to say that when I went to the ladies room, this is what was staring back at me in the mirror:

Fawk.  All that extra hair straightening for nothing.  (You guys have it so easy) I decided to do the ponytail thing to contain the frizz.

I left work a little later than usual but it was still too early to go to the park.  I decided to go to McDonalds because they had indoor seating and get a drink, a bite, and do my nails. Yes, at this point I'm still trying to look nice for the clients, but I shouldn't have bothered.

My weakness at McDonalds is the fries but I was determined not to indulge in them.  I decided to get a small salad and my big treat was a Diet Coke.  I've been off the Diet Crack Coke and the thought of a cup full of ice and DC was just what the doctor ordered.  Because this Mickey D's was near Fenway it was pretty packed but I got a booth.  Nice!  I settle down with my salad, my book and my beloved Diet Coke.  Mmmmm I take that first long pull of my soda and *gag* it's....it's....NOT Diet Coke.  I take another timid sip and it dawns on me that this is ROOT BEER.  Ugh.  I look at the cover and see that none of the little buttons are pushed down.  I leave my salad and book on the table, grab all my other crap, plus the rootbeer and go back to the cashier, but it's a huge line.  As I'm thinking about cutting I realize/remember that the soda was self serve! Doh!  I did this myself!  All the poor cashier did was hand me a cup.  So I go back to the soda machine, dump out the contents, then wipe the inside of the cup with napkins so I wouldn't have residual rootbeer taste in my DC and get myself a new icey drink.  Mmmmmmm  I couldn't believe I was the one who put the foul tasting substance in my cup!

So I FINALLY get back to the booth.  Seems like no one's touched my salad or book and now I can have my soda.  Mmmmm I take another long drink and..........



Wtf!  There was only one diet coke spigot and it was hooked up to root beer.  All I wanted was my soda but it was not to be.  I told the cashier and got my money back.  Now SOMEHOW during all of this, I got a huge stain on my pants.  And by huge I mean a light brown stain on my left thigh from like my hip to almost my knee.  I don't know how it happened and I didn't see it until I arrived in Fenway and shook hands with Barbara and Steve.  It was there larger than life and easily the side of my hand.  So yeah, I looked like a stained slob with frizzy hair.

But Steve bought me a hot coffee, peanuts and a hot dog.  Oh and then when Barbara and I were discussing Varitek's age Steve said "You couldn't possibly be 40 yrs old."  Mama likes Steve!

But I'd had more than enough.  If I left the game early I could catch the 10pm bus.  At this point the Red Sox were losing 5-0 so that's exactly what I did.  I left early.  I mean this was surely a loss after sweeping the Yankees, right?


I left and missed a great come from behind win.  Somehow they ended up winning 8-7.  I am entirely certain this was because I left the game.

I'm home, writing this up, staring at the huge stain on my pants that is dry and stiff, and for the life of me I cannot figure out what it could be, but who cares.  At least this day is over.

Oh, did I mention the racoons are back?  The neighbors say they saw the racoons on top of my porch, scratching at MY bedroom window.  Natch.

If you hear any blood curdling screams in the distance, that means they got in.


Friday, May 13, 2011


I say one non-ass kissy thing about Full Tilt and Blogger takes my post down.  Coincidence?  I think not! LOL Just kidding.  It's very odd that they've taken down our posts though, don't you think?

I've been feeling crappy the past couple of days.  One knee is absolutely killing me so I haven't been doing my power walk.  I missed a couple of days and it really makes a difference.  When I was walking every day I felt like every day I could go a little further, motor a little faster.  By skipping a couple of days I feel like I've lost ground.  I don't know if it's because of the missed days or the shitty knee.  Knee hurting all the time seems to make me tired, perhaps because it wakes me up at night or maybe it's just that dealing with pain is tiring.  :(  Oh and I have PMS so that doesn't help.  :)

I'm going to do some sort of walk tonight and then we rented Little Fockers on Net Flix so it's Movie Night at our house.  I will try to stay awake for the whole movie.  *fingers crossed*

My boss took me out for lunch today and now I just want to curl up and go to sleep.  I haven't had like white bread in quite a while so I got a grilled chicken panini, with pesto sauce, roasted peppers and provolone cheese, oh and it was healthy because it came with a salad.  :)  I ate less than half the panini though (it was huge) and most of my salad, which was a basic field greens salad tossed in house dressing.  Anyway I ask the waiter to wrap up half my sandwich for a doggie bag (it was a nice restaurant) and my boss asks "Aren't you going to take the rest of your salad?  Um it was like 4 leaves of lettuce in dressing so I was like "No, it's already wilting. Ewww"

Crazy receptionist went with us.  She's going on a 2 week vacation starting this Wednesday.  Wheeeeeeeeee!  It's gonna be a vacation for me too!

Oh my God, it's not even 4pm yet.  Shoot me!

Weekend starts very shortly!  I don't plan on doing much on Saturday other than cleaning and walking and mebbe a little shopping.  :)

Sunday night is the poker league game with The Ladies and Black men, complete with free food and booze.

I'm going to the Red Sox game Monday night with work clients.  I'll be on my best behaviour, although I was told that the client will be paying for dinner and drinks all night.  Client is a drinker, so I must be sociable.  Woot!  I'll be doing a write up of the game for Red Sox 101 so stay tuned for that.

Have a wonderful weekend and if you have any Pamprin, send it my way.


Thursday, May 12, 2011

I have a baaad feeling about this

Poker Stars sent me my cash money over a week ago, so why can't Full Tilt do the same?  I'm thinking that they could, but they most certainly have not.  I'm getting a baaaad feeling about this.  WTF!  If you've read anything Full Tilt related by Waffles, you'd see that he says we should be bowing to them in thanks for taking our money for the past decade and giving us some freebies.  How bout giving me my effing money?  Huh?  That right there would solicite a "thank you" from me.

I really think thos Mo' Fo's will be keeping our money and that pisses me off to no end.  It's not like they're out of bidness.  They have all you Canadians and Europeans supporting them, so why not send a few Euros to this American?  Huh?

Play Smart a/k/a NOT online.


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I played poker in Foxwoods!  Um and I sucked.  :(  I played (2) $80 tourneys and didn't cash in either.  My only saving grace was that the 2nd tourney was a bounty so if you knocked someone out you got a $25 chip.  I got 3 of those, so the latter game didn't cost me much.....but still.

This was the first time playing poker there and I certainly felt like a new kid on the block.  Each tourney had about 60 peeps and it seemed that there were 6-8 college kids that were tight and most likely playing together.  Oh and they knew the names of every dealer and pit boss so this wasn't their first rodeo.  One was sitting at my table, dripping with gold chains and with oversized shades, an oversized watch and and an oversized ego. I'd been watching his play for a quite a while and when I got 9-9 I got into a hand with him.  I raised it up to 4x the blind and he called.  Flop was 2-3-7.  Bing! I bet 1,800 and he jammed all in for 1,600 more.  As soon as he did it I knew he had a bigger over pair.  I KNEW it.  I said "I know you have pocket jacks or queens but I'm priced in..." then I continued to ponder it.  I decide that he has Jacks FOR SURE.....and even though I'm a  big advocate of "pot odds doesn't turn a losing hand into a winning hand"  I finally mutter "I call, now show me your jacks."  He flips over his jacks and says "And I thought you were a tourist.  You're really on your game."  I double him up.

This was after I knocked out a very bad player.  At the beginning of a tourney is when the bad players are still in the game!  It's like shooting fish in a barrel!  I got alot of this bad players chips when I flopped trips.  He was on tilt and the very next hand I flop trips AGAIN. There were 2 hearts on a queen high flop so I jam all in with my trips.  He thinks about it for a while and calls with A-K!  Called my all in with ace high!  Obv my trips held up. 

Later on, I lost half my stack when one of the college boys jams all in on my big blind.  I had A-K and I called his all in.  He flipped over 10-8 and hit an 8.  Ugh.  I can't stress enough how fast these games were.  Antes started before the first break and before the 2nd break the antes were 200 and the blinds were 600/1,200.  It ended up being an all in fest because there were so many chips in play before the flop.

It was definitely a good time but fuck, I hate losing!

Staying over Gary's house was a trip.  He has 2 cats and one of them looks EXACTLY like this:


I was sleeping on their sofa and Toots gave me a quilt.  Well they went off to bed and Rusty was going nuts for the quilt!  It was like 2am and he wanted the quilt, but didn't want to get to close to me, so he kept pacing and sniffing.  Keep in mind I'd just been bitten by my neighbor's dog so even though I love cats, this one didn't know me and I started thinking he'd attack.  He didn't though.  He only looks intimidating.

When before they went to bed Gary mentioned that he had an alarm clock and not to wake him up before it went off.  Okay......except I was awake at like 7am.  No matter how much coughing and throat clearing I did, there was no sign of life before 10am.  Sheesh man, the day's half over by then!

We met up with Lynne, who did NOT teach me craps.  When I met her at like noon, she was at the bar drowning her sorrows in beer.  She said she lost her shirt at the craps table.  Ugh.

Hmmm in other news my sistah just came back from a trip to Italy!  She went to Rome and Florence.  Nice huh?  She brought me back the MOST BEAUTIFUL leather lambskin I Medici handbag.  It's like butter, except it smells like leather!  It's awesome! 

In a couple of weeks my aunt and uncle are having a 50th anniversary party and since I have NOTHING appropriate to wear, I just ordered this dress online:

What do you think?

It won't be that short on me, as the girl in the pic is probably a foot taller than me.  I never very rarely buy clothes online so I have no idea if this will look good on me or how it'll fit.  Keep your fingers crossed that it fits in the butt area.  Of course if it doesn't, I can always get frigging Neighbor Sue's dog to nip a few inches off.  

To be on the safe side, I am continuing the walking/hiking.  I missed today though.  :(  I did do alot of walking in Foxwoods and I wore my Shapeups! 

Play smart,


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Why I don't like dogs

Very Josie's Ass

OMFG I was getting ready to head out for my hike when Neighbor Sue invited me to stop in for some iced coffee.  Remember her and her dog????  Moose knows me and starts barking happily when he sees me so I try to be sociable and pat him.  All of a sudden I feel a sharp pain on my ass.  I wasn't sure if he bit me or scratched me because he'd been jumping up on me, but ouch.  It hurt alot more than a scratch.  The fucker bit me in  my ass.  Unfuckingbelievable.  I guess he's been doing that to people he doesn't see very much.

I stayed for a bit but I was totally freaked out and kept feeling like he'd bite me again at any time.  :(  My ass hurts.

Tonight I'm going out to the movies with the girls. 6 of us are taking the town by storm and by town I mean Pelham NH.  We're going to Chunky's, a movie theater in NH where they serve you dinner before and during the movie, plus they serve mixed drinks!  Woot!  Martinis, margaritas and everything!  We're going to see Something Borrowed, a total chick flick.  I've read the book and really enjoyed it so I know I'm going to have a great night.  So long as no dogs are allowed in the theater.  :(

Tomorrow I'm going to Ma's house where I'll meet up with Gary and then it's onto FOXWOODS.  We'll be playing the 8pm $80 Turbo tourney and another tourney on Monday.  Those players don't know what's in store for them.  :)

Play smart.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

To Pooped to Post

I'm sorry for the lack of posts.  It seems that I'm slacking and I'll tell you why.  I'm so busy in work that there isn't time to post here like I had been.  Then when I get home I workout for at least an hour and then deal with dinner.  By the time all of that is done, the workout from hell has me done in and I'm to pooped to post. 

I played in the league tournament last Saturday night.  I'd decided that I wasn't going to play in the league, but seeing as how online poker is kaput, I've changed my mind.  I'm in baby!

There were 16 peeps and 2 tables, with a couple of new ladies at my table that I hadn't played with before.  They were definitely a couple and one of them was quite drunk, but more on that later.  Marvin, the second best player in the league (me being the best of course) was also at my table.  Remember last time I won the $40 last longer prop bet with Marvin? Heh.  I still down with Marvin on my left and ask him if he's up for another last longer bet and he tells me that he is but he only wants to invest $10.  I'm cool with that so we set aside our money and one of the new girls asks what we're doing.  We tell her and she wants in.  :)  And so does her girlfriend, and so does Lynne....pretty soon there's $60 in the prop bet which makes me happy because other than Marvin, there's no way these peeps can last longer than me.  Marvin whispers that when it's down to just me and him we'll split the $60 and I agree.

We're playing along and it's the 3rd hand dealt when drunk new girl bets half her stack and forces this other girl (who does not have a fold button) to fold.  Then drunk girl flips over her 10 high bluff.  Wow!  Good to know!  Half hour later the chick without the fold button limps and I have AQ sooted.  I raise it up big and of course she comes along for the ride.  Flop is A-J-X.  The girl is shortstacked because of that hand she folded on the river and makes a big bet at the pot.  I think I'm good because she's humming.  She'd been in lots of pots and hummed while deciding what to do and folding.  I'm thinking humming is a good sign so I raise her.  She jams all in and I instacall.  She flips over her J-10 and gg Hummer! 

I think she just couldn't get past losing the earlier hand and I did not put her on AK with her limp preflop.  After that I take a big chunk of chips from drunk girl and Marvin.  Although Marvin was a shortstack for a long time, he lasted to almost the bitter end.  I had probably 4 opportunities to take him out when I would've won, but I just didn't want to give him any chips.  Unfortunately, other people did just that.  I should've been a bit more aggressive with him, but you never know what you're up against when calling an all in from Marvin.  And I find it's almost always a bad move to call those all ins.  I think it's better to not get involved if I don't need chips.

Then an interesting hand takes place.  There's a 3 way all in preflop between a shortie, drunk girl, and drunk girl's girlfriend.  The shortie is all in but the 2 girls have more chips.  btw the girlfriend had been playing VERY TIGHT.  The flop is Q-10-3.  Drunk girl checks and Very Tight Girlfriend bets pot!  Shazam!  Drunk Girl starts yelling at her GF  "You're not supposed to do that!  You're so stupid!  Are you out of your mind?"  That's just a small sampling.  She yelled at her for maybe 5 loooooong minutes and then CALLED her.  Then GF jams all in.  Drunk Girl has a coniption and folds.  (She stayed pissed off for the rest of the night)  GF flips over Q-10 and scoops the pot.  She'd flopped top 2 pair.  Drunk Girl was even more pissed off and started yelling that she still shouldn't have bet to get the shortie out.  I felt really bad for the GF.  Drunk Girl wanted my opinion on whether GF should've bet post flop.  As gently as I could, I told her that "90%  of the time GF should check it down, but in this case, flopping top 2 pair, I like the post flop bet.  She's protecting her winner imo."  She didn't like my answer very much.

Lynne was to my right and has so many tells it's just not fair.  I took quite a few pots from her and soon enough she was out, as was her partner June.  By the time we combined to a final table I was still the chip leader, Marvin was still shortstacked and some guy from the other table had almost as much chips as I did, the bastard.  :)  Eventually all the people in our last longer bet were out except me and Marvin.  So we split the $60 and kept on playing, free rolling as the tourney cost $25 to enter. 

This 2 table game went from 8pm to almost 1am, as I was determined to have patience.  It was down to me, Marvin, and Davey and finally Davey knocked Marvin out.  We were HU and of course he had more chips.  At this point Evan was calling and calling saying, "When are you coming home???"  so I just called his all in with 5-2 off suit because I had to skeedadle.  Of course my awesome hand didn't hold up against A-J so I got 2nd place and $90, which was fine by me.

There have been 3 games played so far in the league.  I skipped the first one and played only 2 of 3, yet I'm tied for 3rd place right now.  Not too shabbay!

Oh and I'm meeting up with Lynne, June and possible Marvin at Foxwoods this weekend!  Woot!  I'll be playing at least 2 tournaments and Lynne has promised to teach me how to play craps.  Should be a blast.  Oh and guess who lives an hour away from Foxwoods?  Gary and Tootsie!  So I'm crashing on their couch or guest room!  Thank you Gary and Tootsie!  I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell.

Play smart.


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm a Bad Mommy

I said something horrible. Truly, I was in panic mode and just reacting. I just don’t know why I reacted that way and said what I said. 

In my house we do NOT insult each other. I’ve never called Sugar Bear dumb, stupid, ignorant, evil spawn….you get the idea. Okay, I may have called him evil spawn, but he knew that was in jest. So that being said…..

Last night I got back from my walk and he got back from a dip in Neighbor Sue’s jacuzzi. This means he was dripping wet from head to toe (literally) and standing by the front door when our cat Pokey started knocking on the back door. Whenever Pokey wants to come in she bangs on the screen door with her paw until someone comes. Since Sugar Bear was dripping water, I told him to stay where he was and I’d let her in.

Pokey loves loves loves loves to hunt and kill animals and man, she’s good at it. She’s always leaving headless mice, birds and snakes by the back door. Obviously Pokey likes head. So in she comes and I see a tiny grey mouse, left in her wake, by the back step – completely still. This one does still have its head and even though its lifeless, its ears are standing up. Hmmmm and then it starts to move a tiny bit. Ugh.

So what did I do? Anyone?


Here is where it gets bad…

Sugar Bear (who loves animals as much as I skeeve them) comes running to see the mouse so I tell him to look out the window of the door. He sees the mouse moving and grooving (but obv nicked by Pokeylicious) so he opens the door, WIDE OPEN, and says:

“Come on Mousie! Mousie come here!” While making kissy noises.
WTF! He has the door open and is inviting the diseased rat into the house! So I yell:
“What are you retarded? Shut the door!”
And he just looks at me shocked and then finally closes the door and says “You think I’m retarded? Are you going to keep calling me that?” Frankly, I was shocked too. I don’t usually use that word in a derogatory way. I mean who am I, Waffles?
And I’d kill Sugar Bear if he used that word like that and he knows this. He’s not allowed to and I’d never set such a bad example for him, yet I just did!

Sugar Bear is very hurt at this point but instead of apologizing I rationalize it to him.

You had the door open and were calling the mouse inside!!! I had to say something!”

“You think I’m retarded!” was the only response I got. That and the cold shoulder for about 20 minutes and then *poof* he was fine, and resumed his job of aggravating me. It’s a full time job with no time off for holidays!


Monday, May 2, 2011

Conversations with Lightning36 #1

I was chatting/iming with Lightning36 last night after we got knocked out of BBT in Exile #1.  Please enjoy...

Light: Thanks for calling me like you said you would.

VJ: Erm...I was sooo gonna call you but this is better!

Light: You coming to Vegas?  My air and hotel is all set.  I got both for $5.

VJ:  Wow that's great - but I dunno.  Don't have enough funds and my trip will cost more than $5.

Light: I can get you a free room!

VJ: Erm...would you be sleeping in said room?

Light: Of course!

VJ:  You know no matter how drunk I can possibly get there's no chance of you getting lucky, right?

Light: Well...it would be payment, not luck...

VJ: LOLLLLLLLLLL For payment like that, you'd have to set me up at the Bellagio for like a month, with room service.

Oh shit....he's booking me a month at Bellagio!  Nooooo!!!!!

He was just kdding - he's a good friend.  I still think that that as a good friend he can get me a free room down the hall from his.  He must have a gajillion points or whatever it takes to get free rooms at Bally's.  Don't you guys agree?

Here's how the conversation ended:

Light: Osama Bin Laden's been killed.

VJ: What??????  Really?

I put the news on and found he was right.  Wow.  One less evil person in the world, is more than okay by me.


You Youngsters Have it Soooo Easy

I’m really not that old.

I’m in my early forties (yes, 44 is technically “early forties” so suck it) but the workplace and technology has changed so much in the last 20 years, I sometimes feel like a dinosaur. I was working on some figures that didn’t balance so I was adding them up, lickety split, as I always do, and some kid commented on my “lightning” fingers. (Yes, Lightning, he really said that) I can add numbers on a number pad faster than you can say them. It comes from years of doing accounting work with an adding machine and without the benefit of Excel. Yes, when I started my first “real” office job, I didn’t use a computer.
I was out of school and still working at Dunkin Donuts. I’d worked at DD from age 15 to about 22. I sent in a resume with very little experience (I’d done the bookkeeping for DD!) in hopes of getting a cash manager position at a company that owned/managed head injury rehab centers and nursing homes across the country. I had an interview with Paula O’Rourke.
I remember feeling dowdy in the interview. I was wearing an olive green skirt that went almost to my ankles and there was Paula, in a tight bright purple satin blouse and a tan leather mini skirt. Wow! During the interview I found out that A.) She was weird to say the least and B.) She LOVED everything Italian! Woot! +1 for Very Josie! She was actually half Greek and half Italian but married an O’Rourke. We were both Italian. Yay us!
As an aside, I’m just not one of those people that “love” other Italians or “love” Irish people. I just don’t get that. I cannot comprehend having an affinity for someone you don’t know because of their ethnic background, so it was shocking but more than evident here, and I certainly wasn’t complaining. She told me that she longed to learn to speak Italian and asked me if I did. I answered, “Does a cat have an ass?” Heh. What I actually said was that I studied Italian for seven years in school and I understood it but wasn’t fluent. Then I mentioned that I still had my Italian school books lying around the house, and if I got the position she was more than welcome to have them. You’d think I told her I’d found the cure for cancer!
When I got home my mother told me “Somebody called for you about a job.” I called right back and they offered me the job! Woot! Starting salary was $18,000 which wasn’t bad and it was a foot in the door.
I’d put my full name on my resume (mistake) so on the first day everyone said “Hi Josephine”. I asked them to call me Josie, which worked out fine with everyone except Paula. Josephine in Italian is Geuseppina, which is in fact my real name, and the diminutive of that is Peppina. Paula said “I’ll call you Peppina!”. OMFG I fucking hate that name, but I said “Okay, sure!” She called me that for the next 7 years, long after she discovered how much I hated it.
Paula was my boss Bill’s secretary. She, like the queen, didn’t really have any power, but Bill, well he ran the empire. I worked directly for Bill, yet he hadn’t even bothered to meet me before I was hired. He trusted Paula THAT MUCH. Plus he was far to busy to spend 15 minutes not working.
The office was set up so that 3 of us “cash managers” sat in cubes outside Bill’s office. We managed about 50 medical facilities collectively and I personally had about 15 of them. That meant I kept 15 large checkbooks front and center on my desk….remember there were no computers yet! We spent all day adding numbers and moving money around and I’m talking BIG MONEY. We’d always strive for million dollar Mondays, when our deposits for the day exceeded one million dollars. Then we’d move that money from this holding company to that one, with everything done manually. Checks were written and stamped with a check embosser and all accounts were balanced manually on long green ledger sheets. All done with an adding machine and that’s it. Everything had to balance and I took to it like a duck to water. Bill taught me everything and although I was a quick learner, sometimes getting something to balance was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I’d get frustrated (imagine that!) when I’d find my one small mistake that put the whole thing out of balance, but Bill thought I was the bees knees. Turns out, he was right. :) He’d pile more and more work on me saying I needed to be challenged, while the chick next to me did hardly anything in comparison. Funny thing is I didn’t mind a bit. (I would now!) Bill set the example of working hard and I followed it. I got my first raise when I was there less than two months. Bill ran entirely on coffee and cigarettes (and always looked sickly) and I did my damnest to keep up. I’d work late practically every night, but Bill was always there, cigarette in hand, both when I left for the night and when I got in in the morning. That was the place I got my real education in business. Of course I got educated in other areas as well. It took me a couple of years, before it dawned on me that Paula and Bill were a lot more than colleagues.  Perhaps I'll tell that story next.