Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Foxwoods, Avacadoes and Milkshakes

I got into the poker room at Foxwoods by 10am.  My plan was to play 1-2 NL cash until the $80 satellite mtt at 2pm.  One in ten win entry into a $300 megastack tournament in August and that was my goal.  Win entry into that.  Last time I was in Foxwoods I'd had a huge win at the cash table but lost the tourney.  I was immediately seated at a full table at 10am, which was a pleasant surprise.

A couple of players at the table were good, a couple were complete donks and the rest mediocre, who played a little too scared.  I was in seat 4 and the complete donks were in seats 3 and 5 much to my delight.  In seat 3 was a loud foreign man who talked nonstop. He also had the habit of showing one card to me when he was in a hand.  It was always the best of his two cards and I found that he seemed to chase middle pairs to the river and bluffed badly.  He acted before me and whenever he'd bet I'd raise.  I got alot of chips from him.  In the 5 seat was a nice older lady, who I felted twice.  She'd call huge preflop raises with ace rag, with K-3 and the like.  First time I felted her I flopped trips.  I bet $40 and she called.  2 hearts were on the flop.  Turn was a diamond and I want to end this now.  I jam all in thinking she'd fold and I'd take the hundy that was in the pot but she called me with her flush draw.  I told the dealer that if the turn was a club he'd get $5, and the dealer got his tip!

The older lady reloaded.  Before the first hour was over I probably had $500 in front of me and I told the lady that the guys were who I was aiming for, not her.  Don't get in the way, I told her!  She'd one a hand or 2 off the crazy guy in seat 3 so she was back to a decent sized stack and doing okay until.....I had A-J sooted.  I raised to $16 preflop and got 2 callers, one of them the old lady.  Flop was A-J-7.  Bing!!!!

I bet $30 thinking that was low enough to get some action.  She jammed all in over the top.  Fawk!  I like my top 2 pair but if she has trips........She'd been playing sooo stupidly but it doesn't take a genius to wake up with trips....Hmmm what to do.....It was alot of money and I actually considered folding but seeing as it was HER, I decided that I couldn't lay it down.  I called.  She had A-7 and I had her dominated.  I was up against a 2 outer and my hand held up.  Woot!

At this point I had a ton of chips and I got tangled up with the guy in the 1 seat, who I dubbed Avacado Man.  Turns out Avacado Man is a detective!  Who knew!

Avacado Man raises preflop and I take a look with J-9.  Flop is 9-6-6.  He checks, I bet, he calls.  Turn is a Q.  He checks and I check behind, just in case.  River is another 9.  Full house baby!  Instead of checking, this time he bets.  Now I thought he might've been checking with a decent hand and think he has the low full house.  Heh.  I go over the top all in.  Best case he calls with the 6 and I get all his chips, worst case, he has a 9 and we split.  Or so I thought.

He instacalls my all in and turns over 6-6.  He flopped quads and I just doubled him up.  OMFG.  I am steaming.  Next hand I have 8-8 in the BB and he is on the button and he raises pretty big.  I consider a big reraise but I'm still a little traumatized from our last hand so I just call.  Flop is 7-5-2.  I bet $60 on my over pair and he JAMS ALL IN.

What the fuck.  Do I fold here?  Yes, I fucking do!  It's probably another $200 to call him and 8-8 ain't worth it.  I fold and toss my eights face up.  He's kind enough to show me his hand, which was 7-2, the frigging hammer.  Maybe I would've sucked out on him had I called him but I made the right move.  I folded the worst hand and besides I'm here to play poker not catch.  I like to remind myself of that when "playing catch" gets tempting.

So I verbally abuse the guy for a bit and he tells me that he's gonna take my money and get an avacado masage.  They have them at Foxwoods for $145.  He says it's the most amazing thing ever, even without a happy avacadao ending.  Blah.  I'm pissed!  So I tell him please do NOT provide me with visuals of you with avacado all over your body.  Heh.

Those were the only two hands he won against me though.  I took that money back bit by bit and amassed a huge stack.  Avacado was chatting with another man when I heard him mention something about playing poker with David Williams, so I had to jump in...

Me: Did you just name drop David Williams?
Avacado: Yes I did.  He stakes me in a game once a year.
Me: Yeah, right.
Avacado:  We're friends.  You don't believe me?
Me: Um, no.

So he starts flicking through the pictures in his phone and shows me a photo......of a little black baby.  "That's David Williams' son" he says.  I tell him that just because he has a photo of  black baby, that doesn't mean it's his son!  LOL  The guy keeps flicking through his phone as we play and then shows me another pic....

This one of......................

David Williams holding his baby son........NAKED.  OMG It's David Williams naked!  Of course the twig and berries weren't showing but still.  I'm shocked and speechless. (rare)  He asks if I believe him now and all I can say is DAVID WILLIAMS NAKED!!!!

Yeah, I believe him.

I was in the neighborhood of $800-$900 when Milkshakes came along.  This cute young boy who thought he was all that.  No time for Milkshakes today.  He gets a separate post of his own tomorrow.

Play smart.

Josie

10 comments:

lightning36 said...

Now you understand why I play soft cash games instead of tournaments, huh grasshopper?

Josie said...

Yeah I get it now. NL cash rocks!

PokahDave said...

LOL...Happy avocado ending?

Josie said...

Well come on Dave! $145 freaking dollars for someone to massage avacado on you? for that price he SHOULD get a happy ending.

Shelly said...

Love the playing catch line. I must remember that. Mmmmm DW nekkid. I need a new screensaver.

Josie said...

LOL. I had no idea how attractive DW was until I saw him au natural. lol

The Neophyte said...

The Poker Queen wants to know - how'd he look? Me, I don't want to know.

Josie said...

He looked very effing sexy and kinda built and milk chocolatey in color. Mmmmmmmmmmmm I'd never thought of him as sexy before.

lightning36 said...

Disgusting imo ...

OES said...

great TITle for a post!