Very Josie

As Cranky suggested, I rode the bus home and lost myself in the final book of the Gunslinger series.  I am so very close to the end, yet I don't really want it to.  I don't know if I don't want it to end so much as I don't want to read the ending I disliked so much the first time.  In any event, the stresses of the day rolled off my back, and I was walking home. Singing a bit to myself as I motored along. Until... Far ahead of me I saw something BIG at the corner of the sidewalk,where I make a turn.  It was a huge German Shepard who was thankfully on a leash.  I was pretty far away from him still, yet I was mapping my escape route.  Dogs do not stay in the middle of the sidewalk immobile though, so I was anxiously hoping dog and owner would move before I approached them. No such luck. I saw the guy tug the leash but the dog was focused.  On me.  (I shiat you not) and wouldn't move.  His eyes were all alert and happy and was kin...

I'm yelling at everyone and if you send me an email, God help you.  I lost count of how many fuck you replies i've sent out. Stay away!  Save yourself! I overslept this morning, was later than I intended and as a result look like total shit.  Wet hair pulled back in ponytail and i'm wearing all black from head to toe. And I'm in a furious mood. Oh and I have no fucking receptionist. Awesome. Waffles called me a succubus last night too and made fun of me cuz I didn't know what the word meant. It means I'm a sex demon.  Not like I have sex a lot (far fucking from it) but if a man were to have sex with me it'd kill him.  It would be totally WORTH it, but still, not a good ending. Anywhoo, I want to kill someone, and not by having sex with him. Josie

Hey Bitches, I'm totally sorry I don't have a post for you YET.  I have meetings all morning so you're gonna have to be patient.  I played both live and online poker this weekend and I'm a shitty breakeven mother fucker.  Sure that ain't terrible for biatches like you, but I totally sucked ass. Why? Because I played 3 tourneys online - big ass ones, big fields of peeps to be specific.  And in every mother fucking one of them I dominated that fucker.  DOMINATED them.  Rose to the top like cream and played those tourneys like I do.  I was chip leader in a field of over 300 doing my thang.  Poetry in motion and then I threw these tourneys away on one hand.  One hand.  That hand was ace rag in 2 of the 3 tourneys. OMFG.  I need an intervention!  Dont' get me wrong, I threw away ace rag, dozens of times but that doesn't count.  What does count is the one time I over played it.  One time for each tourney that is....

...said the spider to the fly. Grrouchie did a post yesterday called FOR THE LADIES  which I enjoyed very much.  And since I love to steal good ideas and use them for my own, I decided to do a post for you guys, and what you enjoy. Just for you my pet.  So get comfy and enjoy. Let's start with a beer, shall we? Pale? Amber? Stout?  Whatever your pleasure, I happen to have it on tap.  And what's beer without football, on a big TV? Perhaps in the company of a woman in an oversized football jersey? She does NOT look like a plumber, btw. Of course, football isn't football without something yummy. Mmmmm As yummy as they are there is something yummier.  Something all guys really like.  PORN.  Yeah baby porn.  Do I have a porn star for you. Now this isn't just any porn star.  Someone emailed me a photo of a porn star, saying he was watching some porn and the porn star looked like me!  Very Josie!  Here's s...

I flirt. Alot.  :) Especially on this blog.  There's nothing I like better than giving fresh and flippant answers to the variety of comments I get.  And sure some of them may contain innuendo.  Sue me.  (please don't)  They may even contain stuff like "xoxoxo" or "Hey Baby".  It's just me having fun.  It surely doesn't mean that I am your girlfriend, otherwise I'd have about 102 boyfriends and I do not.  Wolfie isn't my bf and neither is lightning (although he wishes he was) or the other multitude of guys that I consider my friends.  In my mind you are all my dear dear friends, whether you like it or not. Get it? Besides there's a yin and yang to this.  You may get a flirty comment today but tomorrow you could get the sharp side of my tongue.  Believe it or not, I sometimes have a short temper. Are we clear? *fluttering eyelashes seductively* Josie

Tonight is the big (not really) after work bash for crazy girl but before that one of the principals and I are taking her out for a goodbye lunch.  I don't know how I got roped into it....well actually I do.  Principal said he should take her out to lunch and I heartily agreed and waited for the other shoe to drop (that I should attend) but he didn't say anything of the kind.  Woot.  I'm going to be spending the evening with her and surely that's enough. Nope. He came back from reception and said that when he invited her, she asked if Josie could come too.  OMFG.  I was like erm....um.....alright.  Biatch!  I sent her and email saying wtf and she replied about how I'd make it fun.  I'll make her ass fun! lol  It's free food, so there's that, but sheesh.  Oh and because of a last minute change I'm hosting Noodles' annual superbowl party.  I'd done it for quite a few years but since I joined my poker le...

Remember me? Too busy in work yesterday to post and I should've written something up the night before but....I didn't.  I may have been emailing and IMing instead.  I dunno.  I DO know that I've been going to bed late every night, yet not accomplishing much. Friday is the receptionist's last day at work.  Long time readers have heard stories about her.  She's seriously the nuttiest person I have ever met, and I've met a lot of people.  Add to that the fact that she's a drinker and when she drinks, she is very volatile and unpredictable.  She's one of the reasons why I didn't go out drinking after the holiday party.  She wanted us to go together and I've been in that situation before and regretted it.  Everyone here at the office has.  The stuff she's done after a few drinks would make your hair stand on end. A couple of years ago I went to the after party with a bunch of people, including her, and she physically accosted me.  ...

Wow, I have a bit to catch you up on.  First of all, the Patriots are going to the Super Bowl!  Yay! I thought for sure they'd be playing overtime.  Did you see that missed field goal that gave the Pats the win?  Doh. A win's a win, so I'll take it.  I assure you Tom will look better in his Superbowl performance.  He will squish the Giants.  I cannot wait. I watched the game at my mother's house because my sis was bringing over the new boyfriend to meet everyone.  The night before, my mother called me to ask what I was wearing to this blessed event.  She of course had her outfit ready.  I told her I'd be wearing jeans and a sweater. "A sweater?  How bout that nice blouse you wore to the wake?"  Um, no.  I wasn't going to a wake.  I was going to my mom's house for dinner and football.  I get that she wanted to make a good impression with my sis' friend and she was a bit nervous but I don't get d...

3pm cannot get here fast enough.  That's when the New England Patriots go up against the Baltimore Ravens for the AFC Championship. <---a bit of info, in case you live under a rock. This is a huge game. HUGE. (cue the Angelina Jolie picture)  The Patriots strength lies in their offense with Tom Terrific, Welker, Gronk (Tom loves him) and they'll be going up against the Ravens' mighty defense.  So what wins championships?  Offense or defense?  Ugh, the answer to that questions scares me, BUT we have Tom Brady and Belichik and baby the Patriots are going to the Super Bowl!  You heard it here first. As added bonus the Patriots will have four honorary captains of the game:  Drew Bledsoe! Teddy Bruschi! Troy Brown! Ty Law! With that kind of a ka-tet (sorry, still reading the gunslinger) we cannot lose.  If you don't know who they are, then your loss.  I don't have time to 'splain but they're all awesome Patriots from the '96 season. ...

Good morning Sugar Pies! *Big Cheesy Grin* Last night after dinner my sister called me...... Sis: Hey what's going on? Me: Nothing. How bout you? Sis: Tell me what's going in!  What happened? Me: Huh? Sis: I'm at Mike's house and we're want to know what this big news is! Me:  Oh, that . You're going to have to tune in tomorrow like everyone else..... Sis: I'm your sister! Heh. She had me at "sister" so I had to tell her.  Mike, YOU are not my sister, so you must pay for finding out early.  I'll get back to you on how you will pay exactly. But anyway, back to my big news. Ahem.  Check out the little blue bird in yonder right corner.... That's right Biatches, I'm on Twitter!  Tweet, tweet!  You can follow me, I can follow you....and um, I dunno.  I'm not really sure how the whole thing works yet, but that's what this weekend is for. Me!  A luddite when it comes to technology, I'm on twitter.  Impressed ...

Big news to come!!!  Come back tomorrow for some REALLY BIG news.  Really, really big.  Life changing big (possibly).  And no don't email me to ask...you have to wait just like everyone else. I am about to amaze you! :) I hope! Play smart my biatches. Josie PS.  Not a great idea to do a Google Image search of the word HUGE while in work.  Sheesh.  I've never seen such big body parts in my life!

Dreaming 'bout my dream Well, well, well, lookie who has another four day work week!  Me and um, hopefully you too.  Thank you, Martin Luther King Jr.  I was visiting my mom yesterday, who brought the subject up.  She asked if I had the day off. <---loaded question.  A cousin of hers passed away (God bless her) and the wake is today, MLK day, at 4pm.  Just what I wanted to do on my day off. <---sarcasm, in case TickTock man is reading. Anyway, Ma went on to speculate about why "he" gets a holiday.  'That's supposed to be for the presidents. He was just a guy. I remember him.  I know why he gets all a the respect.  You know a why?" Erm...civil rights? No!  All a this a because what the white guys did.  White guys did that. They kill him.  Thats a no good.  So now he get a the respect. So much respect he gets like the president because a the white guys do the wrong. Ugh.....the exchange ended with me telling my...

Anyone want to guess where I finished in the live tourney? It was a day filled with poker.  The live tournament at the private club was suck.  For starters not enough people showed up.  Perhaps this was because of all the football scheduled for the day.  In any event, it was only a one table with ten people. Blah.  $25 entry.  Within the first 15 minutes I was down to 800 in chips.  Yep, you heard that right.  First hand I played was against a guy who didn't know how to bet or play and he had QQ, and I had a couple of hearts.  Flop was Q-heart-heart.  Bet, call.  Turn was a blank and the river was a heart but paired the turn....giving me a flush and him a boat.  Ugh.  Next hand was against Gary.  I had J-4 and the flop was 4-4-8.  He bet and I raised to 2K.  He called.  Turn was a 6, bet, raise, all in.  He had 6-6, which brought me down to my 800 in chips. Then I battled, and battled and batt...

You simply MUST watch the video clip if you haven't already seen it. Josie

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.  On tap is a poker tournament at 1pm (yay) and then...... The New England Patriots VS The Denver Broncos Tom Terrific VS Mediocrity (but religious!) lol I LOL at anyone who thinks this could even be a close game.  No.  It wouldn't have been close at Mile High Stadium and it surely won't be close at Gillette.  That being said, I will be enjoying it very much.  I figure I should be home from the tourney by 6pm, which will give me enough time to get my sweats on and settle in for the show. For my post fantasy football league I need The Pats to win and GB too for that matter.  I don't think this will be a problem.  :)  It's going to be a fun Saturday. Let's get back to poker for a moment.  The last time I played at this private club I did quite badly.  I'll be up against a field where over 50% of the players do not play basic poker well, as well as  Pokah Dave (awesome dude) his sister and...

I'm busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor so you'll have to forgive me for not posting today. What, you thought this was a post?  Um, no it isn't. But, if you're desperate to read something about Very Josie, and if you like crafty humor, you could go ---> HERE as this post tickles my funny bone.  Go on now, go THERE and enjoy some fine writing for a change, and tell him Very Josie sent you. Snaps for Josie!  (you have to go HERE to appreciate this line and then come back here to leave me a comment.  Just because I'm too busy to post doesn't mean I don't like getting comments.  Now scoot!) Josie

Question: Ever play with a guy like this? Answer: More times than I can count. Card Player magazine published and article called The Most Annoying Player Habits at The Table.   Boy did they hit nail on the head with this one.  This strikes a chord with me because I am always mindful of the other players at the table, but many are not. Anyway, without further ado, The Top Ten Most Annoying Habits at the felt: 10. Players who always chop in the blinds, unless they have a big pocket pair. The player reserves the right to decide whether or not they want to chop every time the action folds around to the blinds preflop. That being said, you can’t change your mind just because you’ve been dealt aces. If you “always” chop, then you “always” chop. Not just when you don’t like your hand. OMFG if the $1.00 SB is that big of a deal, perhaps you shouldn't be at the table. 9. People who wear headphones at the table and can’t follow the action. There’s nothing wrong with listeni...

It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and lose it all It's unnerving How just one move puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell It's aggravating How you threw me on and you tore me out How your good intentions turn to doubt The way you needed time to sort it out I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on I just didn't want to let it get away from me Tell me is that how it's going to end When you know you've been depending on And the one you're leaving out The one you're leaving out Ahem, JT88Keys....could you email me at veryjosie@aol.com ? You can't be tired of me, can you? Josie

I stole borrowed this idea from Whispering Writer .  Every Tuesday she writes a list of things to be "okay" about. It's Okay.... That I never knew what the GI in GI Joe stood for.  I suppose it's even more okay that I found out over the weekend and it was my 13 year old son who told me " Mom, GI is short for government issued" .  Oh really?  How is it that I'd never heard that before?  I mean I've played with GI Joe's for pete's sake! That I dislike Mitt Romney even more than I thought possible. You LIKE being able to fire people who provide services for you?  Dick.  Seriously, do you know nothing about the country you are trying to lead?  I understand that you feel that way but if you really want to be the slimy politician you are aspiring to be, don't you know not to mention that shit? Idiot.  I have never had an affinity for this man, however hearing that line (in or out of context) while we are meeting to discuss who is gett...

Good morning my pets, Frigging Tebow...or frigging Waffles, depending on how you want to look at it.  :)  Can you believe the Broncos beat the Steelers?  WTF.  Even when the Steelers were behind I thought it was just a temporary thing and fully expected them to take down the win.  Boy was I wrong.  That really crushes my fantasy football team....goodbye defense.  *sigh*  I suppose it makes for an easier game next week for the Patriots, but personally, I think it would be an easy win regardless of which team they'd be up against. Pfff Poker - I spent many hours (too many) playing online poker yesterday.  In fact, I had so much to get done, yet I didn't do anything, except click, click, click.....get a diet coke.....click, click, click.  Unfortunately, I am not exaggerating.  I played 3,258 games yesterday (okay maybe not quite that much) and here's what happened.  I started out Sunday morning with about a $40 balance....