Very Josie

Not Cute I understand that raccoons are a part of nature, and we are all God's creatures.  I get that.  Really I do.  Any creatures that come in my house leave in a body bag though.  Stay off my fucking turf. That goes for bugs too.  I don't mind bugs when I'm outside.  If I'm outside I'm hanging at their place then I'm respectful.  I can go camping and not freak the fuck out at the many bugs and moths that are part of the experience.  But if one flies into the house, rest assured he does not fly out.  I'm not one of those people that escort bugs to the door and bid them farewell.  It's time for that fucker to meet his maker. I live near a woody area so my neighborhood is filled with squirrels, cats, foxes, skunks, wild turkeys, coyotes (yep), and the dreaded raccoons.  And if I'm to be totally honest (and I always am) I'm not a big fan of animals, wild or otherwise. That being said, I've been called the crazy cat lady ...

...when I could be reading crAAKKer!   CrAAKKer is a cracker of pocket aces and kings....how cool is that!  Love me an aggressive poker player.  Does he know about the wonder of J-10 and the power it has to crack aces?  I'm thinking mebbe he does. No, I don't know this guy from Adam, but he's hilarious AND he's smart.  Too bad I can't say that about most of you. (just kidding) He's also a follower of mine, which speaks volumes about his good taste.  His latest post mentions cougars, sausage stuffers, and the Poker Grump.  And it's frigging hilarious (I might've mentioned that).  Now something that's noticeably absent is any mention of me.  I am going to overlook this for the moment..although how could he NOT mention me??????????? The good news is I have oodles of crAAKKer archives to read when I'm bored at work, so I won't have to bug Waffles so much. The bad news is when I was looking for "cracker" images for this post...

...and  played alot.  It ain't easy winning a little! I started off with the 2-4 limit cash game with $60 on the table.  Caught trips early on and it paid off.  Pretty much a grind after that.  Played maybe 3 hands total but won them so when I headed over to the sit & go I was up maybe $45. I sat down at a (1) table $60 game.  First place was $240.  The dealer was the same dealer I had when I played against that bus load of 18 year old boys.  The dealer remembered the game, how it was one kid's birthday, and how I pwned them.  lol  So of course the talk turned to "You should have let him win because it's his birthday." Ugh.  There were 3 decent players at that table, me (fabulous), and (6) donks.  I was playing with one of the donks at the cash game and I liked what I saw.  It was unbelievable.  At thte cash game he was calling EVERYTHING even after the river, WITH N...

Like my shower curtain? Just about to jump in the shower.  Played 2 sit & goes this morning and I'm 2 for 2.  I take that as a sign that live poker action will be even better.  :)  I'm all about signs. (good ones, anyway) There is going to be ALOT of poker played today.  Tune back in late tonight for a full recap.  There might even be pictures! My boy Lightning played in the BBT5 Tournament of Champions, and didn't cash.  Sometimes the cards just don't come.  I feel partially responsible though.  :(  I should've been there cheering him on!  But the hardest part of the whole thing was just to get there, and goddammit, he sure did that . Okay - heading to the shower now....although I think I'm staying put for the early part of the day. Play smart. Josie

Remember that picture of College Boy flipping two aces yesterday?  Well there's a story behind the cool photo and if you want to read about it, well clicky right HERE . My Silent Advisor, EVPJM left this comment on a post: Couple of days Late but I think you touched on another Theme for your Blog on a day when your looking to come up with something. Why do we always feel uneasy when we have a high pocket pair? You felt doom in your Belly? Why is that? Is it because we are forced to play a hand like that and we have all seen AA cracked so many times? They say AA is the best starting hand but I think most people would say their not so sure. This comment is in reference to the Poker By The Rail tourney I played in on Monday.  I had pocket aces.  One guy raises, another reraises, I shove all in and get called by the re-raiser who had K-K.  Yes he caught a king and I was out.  So why the achy feeling in the belly when I was way ahead? Well prior to that ...

Rocky: I can't do it. Adrian: What? Rocky: I can't beat him. Adrian: Apollo? Rocky: Yeah. I been out there walkin' around, thinkin'. I mean, who am I kiddin'? I ain't even in the guy's league. Adrian: What are we gonna do? Rocky: I don't know. Adrian: You worked so hard. Rocky: Yeah, that don't matter. 'Cause I was nobody before. Adrian: Don't say that. Rocky: Ah come on, Adrian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.

"College Boy" Isn't he cute?  This is College Boy !  Yes, he looks like he's 16 years old but he's a very legal 20 years old.  CB rocks because he was one of my first commenters evar.  He and Coop were there, way back in the beginning (two and a half months ago).  Anyway that first comment from CB back then, was a request to justify how I raise with pairs and the theory behind it.  So I wrote  RAISE SHIT JUSTIFICATION  for CB. He's a full time college student but he's on summer break so he's back home in Massachusetts. One of his first posts once he was back, was to mention his admiration for me.  Awww.  You know I love me a hyperlink!  This is his latest request:  Josieeeee if u ever have another game, I want innnnnn. I wanna play with jew boy and get soul read by uuuuuuuuuu Okay so maybe I was bragging about my mad reading skillz in those early posts.  :)  But trust me College Boy, I can read your soul, if ...

You guys are into cake decorating right?  Me too!  I've been decorating cakes for years.  I took a night class at the local high school when I was about 20 years old and have just done my own thing since.  Below is a small sample of some of my cakes! For a girl turning Sweet Sixteen Tank cake for Sugar Bear - He's still fascinated with guns Wanna play? Made in between two live tournaments, hence not great A friend's 50th Birthday A friend's 60th Birthday Boss' 75th Birthday (is that sucking up?) Pooh Bear for Sugar Bear Soccer Cake Cake decorating wasn't my first endeavor into baking though.  I am an offical Donut Maker!  Certified by DDU (Dunkin Donut's University).  LOL Yes, it's true. Mama's got mad skillz. I worked at Dunkin Donuts from 15 years old until - I dunno 21 maybe.  I started as a counter girl.  Back then Dunkin Donuts had booths, china and metal silverware.  Anyway, eventually I became a baker, donut ...

The final nail in the coffin was A-A.  Raise, reraise, reraise then all in preflop.  I was up against K-K and felt doom in my belly!  Yup, K on the flop and I was out. Prior to that I lost with trip deuces.  It was just one of those nights.  I caught a straight flush though!!!  Unfortunately, I folded my cards and then caught it - guess that doesn't really count. Fawk! Just one of those nights....besides I think it's Riggsy's night tonight.  Hmmm maybe I should go visit him and offer him some incentive.  Gotta think of something good though.  :) Playing a $6 (90) person tourney.  I love those! Play smart. Josie

She moves in mysterious ways!

1.  Smart 2. Handsome 3. Has great taste in friends 4. A helluva poker player 5. Has longer hair than I do (so jealous) 6. A good friend 7. Someone I would call if I killed someone and needed help hiding the body. 8. Is a really good guitar player 9. Is VERY funny Okay Gary, a deal's a deal.  NOW TELL ME! Josie

...and I don't want to talk about it!

Don't believe what you hear Don't believe what you see If you just close your eyes You can feel the enemy When I first met you girl You had fire in your soul What happened your face of melting in snow? Now it looks like this And you can swallow Or you can spit You can throw it up Or choke on it And you can dream So dream out loud You know that your time is coming 'round So don't let the bastards grind you down No, nothing makes sense Nothing seems to fit I know you'd hit out If you only knew who to hit And I'd join the movement If there was one I could believe in Yeah I'd break bread and wine If there was a church I could receive in 'Cause I need it now To take the cup To fill it up To drink it slow I can't let you go I must be an acrobat To talk like this And act like that And you can dream So dream out loud And don't let the bastards grind you down Oh, it hurts baby What are we going to ...

How I feel Live actions sucks!  Just kidding!  It sucked for me today though.  I played at the SSC, as did Gary, and I frigging lost.  Only 10 players at $50 per person.  One big table, with Gary to my left.  I was pretty much card dead FOR THE WHOLE GAME.  I frigging hate when that happens, especially when playing against a big table like that. Maybe 45 minutes into it, I'm looking down at Q-Q - I raise to 5 times the blinds...Gary calls and Pokah Dave (best player at the table EXCEPT ME) reraises to triple my raise.  I call and Gary folds. Flop is 5-5-8. Pokah Dave bets 1,600.  Fawwwk.  I put him on aces with that re-raise.  He reminds me that he hasn't won a race against me in 3 years but I have a bad feeling about this, yet I call.  (should I have shoved pre or post flop? I dunno, but like I said I had a bad feeling so I didn't). Turn is a non card - 2 maybe.  He checks (weakness? maybe...) I reall...

Well Lightning's even luckier in life.  He's married to Salutations By Susan , but I like to call her Thunder.  That's right, Thunder and Lightning! Anyway Thunder is a very talented woman who makes handmade cards, so very beautifully.  I've bought a couple of sets from her.  The first set is called the "So Very" series...as in each card says..."so very cute", "so very sorry" (need lots of them), "so very sweet"...you get the idea.  Going to get alot of use out of this Then I got an idea! I asked Thunder if she could change that third word on the card front so it would read So Very Josie !!! She made the custom cards for me and they are FABULOUS.  See for yourself.  If you're very lucky, someday you might receive a  So Very Josie card. (but don't hold your breath) You should check out all her cards and show her a little love.  Cards are beautiful and attention to detail is amazing.  Oh and they'...

It's the weekend Baby!!!  Mama has the day off....kinda. I attended a focus group last night, out in East Bum Fuck, which paid $150 for a one hour, one on one, discussion about my office, office equipment, computers, etc.  I pretty much talked for one hour nonstop (don't say it Coop) and they handed me a Benjamin and a fifty in cash, which I split with my sista Cricket. Today I have the day off, but I'm doing ANOTHER focus group at 3:30pm.  When it rains, it pours.  At least this one is in Boston and it's very easy.  I have to watch a TV show with a monitor strapped to my chest.  They want to see when Very Josie's heart beat quickens.  Hopefully there will be no commercials for waffles.  This pays $100.  Shit, if you want to pay me $100 to watch a one hour TV show, I'm all yours. (don't get any ideas!) So because of this $100 guaranteed win, I can't get to Seabrook today to continue my "Fridays" run there.  Tomorrow there's a...

EVP's advice is always good and I usually follow it (except once and I regret that).  So my novel idea is to do a post about.............POKER. Specifically, how I am going to win a ToC seat.  Time is running out so I need a plan.  I would also be GRATEFUL for any suggestions or advice. Come on, help me out! My usual MO gets me close but no cigar.  I obviously need to make an adjustment to take it to the next level. Usual MO - Play strong hands aggressively. Dump if I don't connect after the flop.  Bet huge if I do.  No flush/straight chasing....try not to play ace rag. I believe I need to mix things up a bit....but more importantly, WHAT DO YOU THINK? Should I be slow playing big pairs and trying to trap and make more? Play smart, or at least teach me how to by this Sunday. Josie

Someone Very Smart left me a comment, telling my how my camping posts were, to paraphrase, horrible.  I'm airing her dirty laundry in public and it's unfair.  This person is entirely right. I feel so bad that I did just that. I have no excuse.  I didn't mean to hurt her and was going to remove the posts in a day anyway.  But I never should've posted them. I think because she still is a thorn in my side on a daily basis, that somehow justified it, but it doesn't. My motive was merely to give Schaubs a little comic relief, but I shouldn't have done that at her expense. Very Embarrassed, Very Josie

Today would've been my father's 75th birthday.  Dad LOVED to play poker.  Was he good at it? Nahhh, but he played every chance he got.  Growing up I was the youngest of three kids and when Dad decided to play poker, you can bet I was there.  My older brother and sister had no interest, but even then I pwned them all.  10 years old, but very tiny and probably looking 8 years old, I'd take pot after pot.  Dad could never understand it, but kept on playing. As he got older I taught him a little game called No Limit Holdem.  We'd play when I'd visit.  $2 tourneys - the highlight of his week, to be sure.  Of course if I visited any of you, it'd be the highlight of your week too, trust me!  Dad never held out for premium hands though and never had a fold button either, but man he loved to play.  What I DIDN'T love was taking 2 bucks from him every half hr or so. You guys know how I'm a bitch, right? Never found a game I didn't want ...

Hello My Brothas & Sistas, I am playing the Poker from the Rail Tournament RIGHT NOW.  50 minutes into the game and I have 3,600 in chips.  Sitting next to DDionysus and first thing he says to me is "Did you scare away Lightning?"  Obviously, I did. I'll update every 15 minutes or so and let you know how I'm doing. 11pm - on first brea. 5,880 in chips..took shortstack out with pocket 8s.  He had 7-7 and the snowmen held up!  Woot! Just got A-Q suited and raised to 3times the blind.  Reraise to 1300, an 2 all ins after that...then it's back to me and I fold. Three hands are QQ, AK & AA.  Aces held up, and I folded the worst hand with A-Q.  Sheesh!  Only on Full Tilt! Midnight ET and I'm on break again.  I have 7,200 left in chips but it's been a roller coaster ride.  I lost alot of my chips with QQ.  I called a stupid river bet with QQ while there was an ace on the board and what did the villian have?...

I played in the BBT5 invitational last night.  I just woke up and I still feel a littl pissed off about the whole night. I started off great!  Doubled up very early on (that's the easy part) and then didn't squander my chips (the hard part).  Once I had me some chips I played tight aggressive.  Not in many pots but if I was in, I had the goods. I had Lightning and Waffles to my right.  They kept going at it like two bitches on the rag.  Waffles doubled off of Lightning early when he slow placed AA.  He left Lightning catch a straight on the river and pwned him with his full boat, aces over. I don't slow play.  I'm looking down at AA.  Waffles makes it triiple the blind, Light calls, so I go in for the re-raise....about 600 on top.  They both call and the flop is 5-6-5.  There's alot of chips in there and I don't want those to donkeys getting any more cards.  I KNOW with my re-raise they can't be holding 5's or 6s so I sho...

If you're playing the invitational tonight, "...just stay away 'cause I might make you cry, like an onion girl..." I'm a bit unstable, she said With a Cheshire grin So many cracks in my sidewalk, boy Don't you fall in. Feels like the things that I've wanted The most in this life I can't have So you see I've been damning the world Before it damns me She said I'm naked and shameless And I'm peeling back the layers Like an onion girl Don't try to save me Just stay away 'Cause I might make you cry Like an onion girl Like an onion girl Second grade playground I still haven't the nerve Fear is under my skin Like St. Anthony's fire And I can't stand the burn Yeah So let's break a little bread, have a little laugh I haven't laughed for a while 'Cause it's a long road back, yes From the womb tonight I'm naked, shameless And peeling back the layers Like an onion girl Do...

Good Morning My Peeps! Let's start with the emails and the followers and then I'll get into why I have a purse full of cash, even though I LOST the live tournament I played in yesterday. Email number one is from ANOTHER agent who wants his client's ad on Very Josie.  Damn I thought it would take a little longer to get another offer but nope!  We'll see if they'll be willing to pay to be on the coolest poker blog in town.  Oh and they won't tell me which poker site it is yet, but it's in the good ole U.S.of A.  Riggs man, you know what you're talking about.  Congrats to your parents on their golden wedding anniversary! Email number two is from Google.  They say I have (72) hours to remove the BBT5 badge or they'll drop me and the ads on my site like a hot potato.  The BBT5 badge violates some sort of policy Google has.  I can't tell you what because I never read all that fine print.  I just clicked on "I accept the terms".  So Mama...