Very Josie

Waffles got burned! Well, well, well. It's 8pm and Waffles has been matematically eliminated!  There is no way he can beat the awesomeness that is Josie.  So we are even.  I owe him nuttin'.  As far as the league, I made a bone headed move.  Neo Baby was telling me that my San Fran picked sucked, so at the very last minute I changed it.  And San Fran won.  It was only 4 points but it might cost me the half year prize.  My own damn fault and not Neo's AT ALL.  I have a rule about not changing picks for a reason, yet I broke the rule.  Live and learn.  I still MIGHT win but it's going to be close. If you happened to be on the North Shore of Massachusetts tonight, you might have seen a woman in a purple wig, witch's hat and red sox sweatshirt, wandering the streets.  She was warned to not stay too close to the blond headed boy, lest she embarrass him.  Sheesh.  Moi? Play smart. Josie

Evan Sugar Bear went to an all day birthday party on Saturday.  It was a paint balling party, so it was a day of shooting people, followed by a sleepover at the birthday boy's house.  Sooooo I figured it was time to visit The Seabrook Poker Room again. They had a $80 11:15am tournament and a 1pm $160 tournament.  I opted for the cheaper earlier one.  I always start out slowly....observing my opponents.  I quickly noticed that the guy with the liver lips limped in with A-Q and A-K.  I also noticed that he'd check every bet and then call every bet.  A regular calling station. I play maybe 15% of the hands in the beginning.  Only premium raising hands.  And raise I did.  No limping for me.  For the first time evar, I brought my mp3 player with me and listened to music for most of the tourney.  I think this really helped me have more patience than usual. I won a couple of small pots and was doing fine when I got A-J hearts....

I winned! Look at me with a check from Seabrook/Rockingham poker room!  The funny thing is, you have to endorse the check to them, and then they give you cash for it.  See below. My winnings less the dealer's tip The dealer earned his tip today too.  I was in the 10 seat, sitting next to the dealer and yup, I hit him.  I have to stop doing that, although once I smacked him around, my cards seemed to improve considerably. I'm very tired right now, but later on I will write up the details of the really fun tournament I played today.  $80 buy in and 22 peeps.  In the end, when we were 3 handed I had over double the next stack yet I offered to split 3 ways if they gave me $100 extra.  They both jumped on it and I got a little over $500 for a few hours of play.  Mama has won the cost of the Vegas trip.  Well, air and hotel costs anyway. It's time to book it. Play smart. Josie

It's Week 8 and it's time to Pick The Winners!  In my league I am tied for first place.  Believe it or not, I do a fair amount of trash talking in that league so if I don't win this I'll never hear the end of it.  I've won for the past three years. (hat trick thus far baby) I also have a half year side bet with one of the guys in my league, and he's about 65 points behind me.  It's nice that one bet is a sure thing. And last but not least, I have my double or nothing bet with the soon to be mustachioed Waffles.  And we all know there's no way in heck that he can win two weeks in a row.  Of course just pondering the odds of that makes me think about SpewDay and losing with pocket QQ's twice in a row.  Shit like that can't keep happening to me.  I'm too good a person.  I mean, I'm kind, generous, sensitive, intelligent, and humble! :P Without further ado, below you will find Week 8's winners: Bu...

spew (verb) spewed, spew·ing, spews 1. To send or force out in or as if in a stream; eject forcefully or in large amounts:   I must say, the tournament is aptly named.  It started at 9pm and I was done before 9:30pm.  I played a couple of hands and lost a few chips....until I got a couple of decent hands.  That was my demise.   I get QQ I min raise to 120 and Walchy reraises me to 180.  I jam all in baby!  He calls me, PREFLOP, with 5-3.  Check it out below...     Ouch! I doubled Walchy oup but still had enough to be in the game.  I play a short stack just fine, unless lightning (not you lightbulb) strikes twice. 2 hands later, I get QQ AGAIN.  Again, I raise to 120, again he reraises to 180.  Again I jam all in.  Again he calls my all in PREFLOP.  This time he has J-4.  Ha!  He can't bust QQ twice.  Boy was I wrong. Loved the flop, but knew I was done when the turn gave him the stra...

It's official.  HeffMike is my favorite blogger.* As you know we had a side bet where I had to pay his buy in to (2) Spewday events as well as The Very Josie. (which is next wednesday so mark your calendars) He says that he'll ship the Spewday buyins back if I use them to play the tourneys myself.  And I was dying to play!  How nice is he? Waffles still sucks though.  Says I smell like de-feet.  The fucker.  Fucking lucky fucker.  I hope he remembers how lucky he got next time he starts to whine about how he runs bad.  Speaking of running bad, Waffles and I are doing it again.  Get your minds out of the gutter!  I'm talking about betting on picking the winners again in football.  Double or nothing baby!  Trust me, he cannot win twice in a row. Thank you Heff!  You rock.  Waffles, not so much. Ohhhh and since I love to tease - something exciting is coming to this Blog.  Stay tuned tomorrow for some news...

You know it's not the booze.  I'd be happy to get Waffles drunk anytime.  It's the paying 3 buyins for frigging HeffMike.  Pisses me off.  Oh Heff, I sent the buy in for the 2 Spewday events....Very Josie buy in to come.  To say you'll be wearing a target in the VJ is a gross understatement. He broke his frigging shoulder!  After such a good start.  You know what happened, I ain't reliving it. As far as my league, the Dallas loss means I am now tied for first place.  At the end of next week's games whoever has the lead wins the prize.  I am pissed off.  Perhaps I've already mentioned that. Fuckers. Josie

Green Bay won.  That means: Josie: 66 Waffles: 62 No more tie possibilities.  Now for Monday Night Football.  If Dallas wins, I win with a score of 72 and if The Giants (bleh) win, Waffles will win with a score of 69. Plus if I win, not only do I get 2 drinks from Waffles, Heffmike will pay for my buy in to both Spewday events, he'll buy Waffles into the next Very Josie tourney and most importantly , he'll write a post about the dangers of gambooling with Josie. Gooooooooooooooooooooo Dallas! Bet smart. Josie

Oh my God, this is going to be a close one! Right now the 4pm games are almost done.  Assuming Seattle, Oakland and New England wins (and they are all pwning at the moment), here is where we are at. Very Josie - 64 Points Wawfuls - 62 Points It will all come down to the last 2 games.  Tonight's game:  GB vs Minn, I have  a 2 on GB and Waffles has an 8 on Minnesota Mon Night:  Giants vs Dallas, I have a 6 on Dallas and Waffles has a 7 on the Giants. If Minnesota wins and Dallas wins, we tie. If Minn wins and Giants win, Waffles wins. If GB wins and Dallas wins, I win. If GB wins and Giants win, Waffles wins. Updated:  2 minutes left in the game and Green bay is up 28-24.  Go GREEN BAY!!!  Minnesota has the ball but it's 4th and 5!!! I may have to change  my panties. Josie

I played a game called Spades last night.  First time I've ever played it and it was alot of fun!  It was at Lynne's, of L&BM fame.  Except there were all lesbians and only 2 black men, and me.  Kinda weird at first.  It was the first time I met alot of these women as only a few of them play poker. And since they all played for the same team, I think they assumed......let's just say I shouldn't have gotten my hair cut.  Two women gave me a ride home, and one was helping me out of the back seat when she said "I hope you don't think I'm grabbing your boob."    Hmmmm After the game ended a few of the women made a plea to Lynne. "Next time NO MEN AT ALL.  We don't want to deal with men, just us.  Right, Josie?"   Now I wouldn't mind an all girl game, but then again, I don't mind the men either. As long as everyone has cash, I couldn't care less.  That's pretty much what I told them, but I think...

Waffles better get some money and permission from the wife for this! I don't know if you've heard, but Waffles and I have a bet on football this weekend!  Waffles Loser has to buy the winner drinks! Here is the bet.  I am in a football league where you pick the winners of all games (outright winners, no spread) and assign a value to each winner. 1-14 cuz there are 14 games.  1 goes to your least confident pick and 14 to your post confident pick.  At the end, whoever has the most total points wins! Easy peasy!  At least that's what Waffles thinks.  He thinks he can compete, but I've been kicking ass at this game for years.  To play in the league it's $60 for the year, but you can win alot more than that.  But more than that, it makes Sunday Football so much fun and exciting.  Booya!  I cannot wait for Sunday! Okay below are my picks - they are in order of my favorite to least favorite.  I have no DOUBT I will be getting free sh...

It's almost 1am so here is the world's quickest poker recap. Live Poker:  Net winnings of $1!  I shiat you not.  It's $5 per game.  First game had 5 peeps for $25 total prize.  When it was down to 2 of us, we split and I got $12.  So I'm up $7 at this point.  Lost 2nd game so down another $5....down to $2, and then I had a $1 side bet with Noodles that I lost.  Big $1 winner! I played The Mookie and was out early. 7 or 8 peeps, with Buddy making a late entrance.  I lost to Buddy when I flopped top pair and he turned a flush. Then I played a $3 (90) person.  Got lucky 3 times when I went all in with 2nd best hand and caught miracle rivers.  3 freaking times!  Anyway I get short stacked when there are 14 peeps left and I keep hanging on...trying to make it to the money.  9 itm.  I finally get there and guess who else is at the final table? Lucky Duck! I had no idea he was in the game.  He had a few more c...

I smell so delish.  LOL  Wanna know just how delish I smell?  I caught myself sniffing my arms at work!  Yes, I smell that good.  I have this new body lotion.  I am not a fan of sicky sweet, flowery scents, and I'm not a perfume person, but this lotion is subtle yet distracting. It's full of all sorts of good stuff and smells slightly fruity and feels so luxurious.  Mmmm is the best way to describe it. I am delicately perfumed and silky soft. I'm just sayin'... Josie

I'm having lunch with my friend Nicole, who says to me "Jenny is going to be Snooki from The Jersey Shore for Halloween.  She needs some really big, gaudy, hoop earrings.  Can she borrow a pair from you?" OMG  I almost choked on my Diet Coke. Those girls know me too well.  And my answer?  "I have the perfect pair!" After lunch I'm working away and I hear one of the principals, a much older woman, speaking to a young drafter.  This drafter is an uber religious Mormon, who has such a great personality.  I think I horrify him on a daily basis though.  He just became a High Counselor which is a big accomplishment for his young age...but I keep calling him a High Stakes Counselor.  Oops. Anyway, I'm working away and it's very quiet in the office until I hear the older woman exclaim to the religious kid,  "Andy, that's quite a package you have there!" I seriously lost my shit over that one.  I peered around to check out sai...

Yes another post for me.  Why you ask?  Because I ran into one too many stupid "friends" today.  Lemme splain... Adam is a kid I work with and he's in my football league and yes he sucks.  He's at the very bottom of the standings and we have a half time and end of year bet that is pretty much sewn up.  So I sort of get why he'd be bitter.  He came by my desk a couple of times today just to say "I hope you lose!!!  Tennessee is gonna win!  You're toast!"   WTF!  I ask "You're really hoping I lose?"  Yup!  I figure him being male and all, maybe he's slow, so I explain that whether I win or lose tonight won't help him. He's beyond catching up to me, but yeah he knows that.  Okay fine. Then my favorite Jew calls me.  We have a nice long chat (17 min, 38 seconds) and at the end he tells me that he's rooting for me to lose.  Really I ask?  Or are you just being funny?  Answer:  "Yeah, I kinda am"...

Am I the only one who does this?   When the going gets tough....I start making deals with God.  Like yesterday's post...Dear God if The Jags win I'll be a good girl for a whole week.  I have a feeling that God doesn't spend alot of time in the deal making game.  I mean why should he?  But that doesn't stop me from trying to sweeten the pot to get what I want from the universe. Sooooo here's he deal.  If The Jags win, I work out every day this week, no eating in between meals and NO DIET COKE for one week.  Not only that, but I'll throw in no swearing, neither live nor on this blog for an entire week.  Sheesh I dunno if I still want the Jags to win!  LOL  But in any case, if I make a deal, even an internal one, I keep it. This brings to mind one of my biggest "deals" with God.  I was maybe 2 1/2 months pregnant with my Sugar Bear, when I got a call in work from the gynocologist telling me that they needed to see me in their offic...

Mama's Boy Dear God, I promise to be on my best behavior for one whole week if you'll just let the Jags beat the Titans.  Yes, Dear Lord, I know they're the underdog.  :) I did well in my football pool this week.  But it's winner take all, so doing "well" isn't quite good enough to win.  I need to do fanfuckingtastic. Click on the grid below and you will see I'm in first place for the week.  Out of the 13 games played so far this week, I picked 10 winners and 3 losers.  Not too shabbay. Here comes the funny part.  Even though I put my points on Tennessee to win tomorrow night, I am now rooting for their opposition.  If Tennessee wins, Art will take the lead and win for the week.  If Tennessee loses, I retain the lead and get the win.  And this league is winner take all.  No cash for 2nd place.  1st place gets $69 every week. There is another way to win as well.  Your weekly points are accumulated and midway t...

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. ~Bertrand Russell I played in the Black Men & Lesbian Tourney tonight.  15 peeps, with $25 entry.  It was supposed to be "The Battle of the Sexes" with an all man table and an all women table until the final table, but we didn't have enough lesbians so it was not to be.  :)  In fact, there were only 2 women and 13 donks men.  :) This is also a league, so even though we were playing for cash we were also playing for points toward the end of year big tourney on Super Bowl Sunday.  Going into it I was in 7th place in the league and I had 1st, 2nd & 3rd place at my table.  Marvin, the guy in first was my strongest competition IMO and I was determined not to give him any of my chips.  At least that was the plan until I played my first hand. :) Marvin was to my right and raised.  I looked down, saw A-K, thought about re-raising but just called.  I figured, let me be cautio...

Just got home from a long day at work.  Alot of deadlines coming up but the worst thing is our lack of cash.  I have a payroll to fund this Friday and it isn't looking good.  We are designing a new library and the town this library is in had been paying timely so I projected that we'd receive these funds, but we have not.  For months.  So 3 months later, I'm still waiting for my July and August payments and instead of working with the town like I had been, things have changed and I have to go through this "owner's rep" guy.  And I just don't like him.  He keeps making me jump through hoops, so I jump, and then nothing...no money.  He wants copies of all the invoices.  Done.  Then he says statements would be better.  Done.  Then he says he wants them in a different format, maybe in Word.  Done.  Nahhh that doesn't work, I should send them in Excel.  omfg.  Done.  Turns out copies of invoices aren...

If you want a step back in time, check out The Crafty Devil Southpaw's latest post , where he compares me to his mom's 70's wallpaper.  The reason I wore the big earrings (and floral top) for the pictures was I was worried I'd look to butch/dikey, with the short hair. I've seen the wallpaper in person and even though I am sure it was put up at least 30 years ago, it looks brand spanking new.  The whole house is kind of like stepping into a time machine, in the coolest of ways.  I think Gary should do a whole post about his Mom.  Ma stories are the best! Yankees suck.  I know you probably think they've been playing well but trust me, THEY SUCK.  I predict the Texas Rangers kick their ass and win the World Series. Speaking of The Rangers, there's another sports team called The Rangers right over the pond.  You should check out Little Acorn Man's post about The Rangers .....it looks like a damn exciting game - who knew soccer could be so...

Okay below are a bunch of pictures of the new cut.  Cricket is on her way over right now and she's bringing her scissors.  Not sure if I want some more layers or not. Maybe layers???  Or highlights???  Or both???

It's about 5:30am and I have today off.  Well....I brought about 3 hours of work home with me, which I still haven't done yet, but other than that I have the day off.  I am THRILLED to have a Monday off....ummm...but not so thrilled to be up so early on my day off.  I've had maybe 5 hrs sleep so after I write this up I'm  gonna try for another 5 hrs.  Saturday.... So the wacky kid slept over....All the boys that usually come over are kids I've known for years, but not this kid.  This was the 2nd time (and last time) I've met him.  Funny thing is he has the face of an angel.  Just goes to show you not to judge a book by it's cover.  I told you about his use of the C-word.  Well the visit didn't get any better after that. The next nugget was his mention of the term t-bagging.  This frigging kid is 12 years old!  And he shoves his package in my son's direction and yells "Tbagging Evan!  Tbagging!".  Not a nice kid. N...

First of all let me say that I am a cool mom.  Really.  Every one of my son's friends that come over love me.  I'm fun, I let them pretty much have reign of the TV and I'm always doling out snacks.  His friends are always excited when I actually play with them and talk to them you know.  Seriously.  They love me.  I always let them get away with murder.  Kids love that. For example there is a kid here now and they've watched TV, played video games, lit tiny and kinda safe fireworks in the back yard, had freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and he's sleeping over. Why am I telling you this? I JUST YELLED AT HIM. I have never yelled at any of my son's friends before and I'm kinda pissed off that he pushed me to that. So here's what happened.  I don't like kids using foul language.  In fact, I can/will do a whole separate post about swearing.  Until Evan was 8 years old anyone swearing at my poker table had to pay....

Well for starters I'm in freaking work!  My long time readers know that because of a reduction in pay I have Fridays off but there is so much time sensitive work to do, so here I am. On Wednesday my boss asked me what I had planned for Friday.  "Nothing much yet" I told him.  "Do you want me to come in?"   He said to keep it open just in case.  Now I've worked a Friday or two without getting paid and if I wasn't so darn broke it wouldn't be an issue.  But I am. And then he never got back to me. Thursday was NOT a good day.  I was in a bad mood all day long (hard to believe, right?) trying to get too much done in not enough time and like 2 minutes before I was leaving he comes up to me and says "I hate to ask this, but can you come in Friday?" My response was "I hate to say this but will I be getting paid?" He started with maybe I'd get something like time off later on, WHICH I DON'T NEED.  I have vacation time, ...