Very Josie

I hate word verifications.  In order to post a comment (and you guys know I love to comment) the majority of blogs require a word verification. Oh my aching balls (I really don't have any) what a goddamn pain in the ass that is.  Every damn time.  And they can't be common words.  Oh no!  These are polysyllabic atrocities like...... accensensaties bronefose monavoco aninastrosa pariago I only wish I was making these words up but I am not. Today's was just priceless though.  I commented on Morning Thunder's blog and the word verification was......wait for it.......................shotgism. I was like - does that say.....SHOT GISM.  Really? I wanna meet the guy (and most surely it's a guy) who's job it is to make up these words. Then I want to kill him. Josie

Game is about to begin! Keep Flopping Jew, Lightning, HeffMike, Pinky stinky and a couple of unknowns are at my table. Just got pocket aces against Yor666 but i didn't show.  Raised pre, bet flop and got called.  bet pot on turn and he folded. Oh and Lightning is the early chip leader with about 2k.  I have about 1,700. Update:  I still don't know who won but Congrats to Gary, who I hear came in 4th place - ITM!!!

An era has come to an end.  It's Monday morning and I just did what I've been doing every Monday morning for the last couple of years.  -Come into work -Check work email -Get a cup of hazelnut coffee -Read Hurricane Mikey's blog while I get ready for the day ahead EVERY GODDAMN MONDAY Mikey is as addicting as the caffeine I'd ingest while reading him.  And heaven forbid there was no new post waiting for me on Monday.  I'd be reclicking him all day waiting for my fix. I loved reading the blog of a poker dealer in Las Vegas.  I'm a poker girl so why wouldn't I?  But if you've read Mikey, you know there's alot more to his blog than poker.  Hell, a girl could be waiting weeks for a post with actual poker content, but that didn't matter, as long as Mikey was posting something. I enjoyed ALL the posts, regardless of poker content.  There were posts about: -His trips to Costco to buy Mexican Coke, trail mix and cashews -March Mayhem...

Blogger team (in my mind) Monday night I'm playing a private tournament with Bam-Bam.   It's Bam-Bam's team of bloggers vs. Pokerwit professional poker players.  Bah.  You guys know how this is going to end up, right?  We are going to kick serious ASS.  I've been playing some tourneys in preparation and last night I came in 2nd place in a 135 peep rush game.  Mama's ready! Bammer is looking for more team members so sign on up!  All you have to do is find me (veryjosie) and you will find the tournament.  You can just watch me kick ass, or you can play on my team!  Me, Riggsy, Bammer, Lightning, PinkyStinky, Dr. Chako, Schaubsy, Smokkee, Waffles...With a stacked team like that, I'm kinda feeling bad for the poker pros up against us. (not really) Monday Night at 9pm ET In honor of our host Bammer, I plan on playing in a Bedrock type outfit shown below: Me or Raquel Welch.... Oh DDionysus! Bammer needs your help.  Sign up b...

It's almost midnight, so I am going to make this quick.  I played 2 games at home and cashed in both.  The loss at Seabrook has till been bothering me...or maybe it's reading about Mike Matusow, but I sat down at the table and told everyone I was going to play like it was a $100 game. To which Gary replied "Oh so you're going to lose early and over value your hand?" The bastard. But I did.  I forced myself to go back to square one poker.  Sitting back and sizing up everyone's play before I start making moves.  Testing my tells.  Putting pressure on tight players.  I split in both games.  Yeeee Hawww!! Then I played The Mookie.  I played pretty well.  Bluffed, slow played, isolated aggression.  I went out 8th I think.  NYRambler made a standard raise and I KNEW he didn't have much.  I jammed all in with K-J to pick up his bet, the blinds and antes.  He called my all in with 7-8 sooted and rivered an inside st...

A couple of girls that I LOVE LOVE LOVE no longer work here, but they took me out for lunch today.  Yes, I get alot of mileage out of my birthday.  We went for Thai food, which was delish and they gave me the most beautiful, handpainted silk scarf.  All swirly with shades of seafoam green, soft blues and white. It's so beautiful I may have to take a picture of it to share. So these are the two girls that I was coercing into trying online dating.  Neither have dated in a couple years and I say why waste the best years of your life, right?  It took alot of convincing....well it took more than that.  It took a bet.  I won the bet so the girls (well ONE of them - THE OTHER IS A WELCHER) registered on plentyoffish.com.  Oh and part of the bet was that I got to write their profiles, which I did over drinks! So anyway, Jenny told her sister about the dating website and the sister joined too. Now so far Jenny's only chatting with guys online and hasn'...

Mmmmmm Well it's Tuesday afternoon and I'm eating lunch at my desk.  Funny enough, my lunch looks almost EXACTLY like the photo above.  And it's delish!  Have I told you I've started a protein shake diet supplement diet thingy?  It's going very well.  I subsititute one or two meals per day with this wicked gross shake and voila - slim Very Josie!  Well, not yet but it's a work in progress.  :) An added bonus to drinking these shakes is since they are not very appetizing, when I have actual food, like today's salad, it's like I'm eating ambrosia.  Soooooooooo good. The guy at GNC told me to mix ftuit or peanut butter in the shake to make it more palatable.  My first try was with the peanut butter, which if anything made it worse.  Next I tried mixing in frozen blueberries and that was good!  (well, good enough).  I think the tartness of the blueberries cuts the uber sweetness of the vanilla cream shake.  The other...

This story does not have a happy ending. I went up to the Seabrook Poker Room with my pal and yours, Waffles.  The plan was to play in the 7pm $100 NLHE tourney, but we got there early so we could play a sng first, and perhaps win the buyin. First hand Waffles raises 5x the BB and gets some action.  Flop is A-K-9. There are bets and raises and an all in jam.  Waffles instacalls and I'm thinking he has either pocket aces or kings.  He turns over pocket aces and doubles up.  Woot! Both of us are doing pretty well.  I lose some chips to Waffles when I raise with A-Q sooted and he re-raises 4K.  Now we only got 5k in starting chips, so that really hurt.  I figured I have to jam or fold.  Fucking Waffles putting pressure on me!  I FOLD my hand and he shows QQ.  Meh. Playing away and there are 5 of us left - 3 are itm.  Waffles and this other guy (we'll call him Idiot) are the huge stacks at the table and are in a hand h...

Well it's official.  I'm old.  Thank goodness I don't look it!  :) I had a very nice birthday and got a few poker books! Checkraising the Devil  is the autobiography of Mike "The Mouth" Matusow.  I cannot wait to start reading it.  It's supposed to be gritty and true account of his experiences with poker, drugs, etc.  Cricket got me this book:  Outplaying The Boys which seems to be tips for women who are playing against men.  I dunno that there is much to learn from this book, but I'll be reading it as soon as I'm done with Mr. Matusow.  The book got me thinking, that I could probably write a book on the subject myself. :) I'll do a write up on both when I'm done. Here's a few pictures of me and Sugar Bear. Yeah, I know it's blurry. Sugar Bear gave me these earrings for my birthday. What a great day.  Tomorrow should be a good day too.  Mama's going gambling. Play smart. Josie

A little live action in a Poker Room.  Watch out New Hampshire! On a side note - I am beginning to suspect that Lightning is in fact a woman, albeit an ugly woman, but a female nevertheless.  He certainly acts like a chick.  An immature biatch to be exact.  Wanna know what he did to ME? Censored my comments on his blog.  And they weren't even mean! I didn't realize he has feelings like a GIRL but I should've cuz he acts like one.  Hmmm maybe I should send him flowers. Play smart. Josie

I am soooo dedicated to you guys, I got up early to write this post! We played 2 sngs in the live game and neither Gary or I cashed. I, unlike Gary, won a couple of side bets from Ass Chin, so the night wasn't a total loss.  My sister, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, cashed in both games!  I think the new nickname was a positive effect on her.  When I mentioned CCBB being her new nickname, courtesy of Ken, she wasn't thrilled.  Noodles suggested we shortened it to Boom Boom, yet she still didn't like it.  But as I said CCBB, "Do you think Noodles, like his nickname?"  "No" she said.  I went even further to support the nickname. My nick name was given to me by Gary.  Because "douche bag and cunt weren't strong enough", he combined them to christen me "Douche Bunt". "Do you think I like being called Douche Bunt?" I ask. "Yes, you do!" says Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.  Damn, she's right.  Not that I really like be...

That's a picture of Gary - from like 20 years ago.  Doesn't he bear a striking resemblance to Larry Fine? Why am I taking the time to remember Jew Boy? Because poker night is tonight.  Poker night has been on haitus for like over a month...ergo haven't seen Gary in like over a month.  Poor guy hasn't had his ass kicked by a girl in a poker game in too long. Tonight that changes.  Plus my sista is playing.  Gary cannot handle playing with Carm.  I think she plays HIM.  Should be interesting.  Ooo I meant Cricket! BTW Carm (her real name) really dislikes the nick name Cricket so it may be time to retire it.  It's not like it has meaning to her or anything. It's not like she's into crickets or rubs her legs together (quite the opposite, actually lol)  About 5 years ago, out of the blue, I said to her "You need a cute and fun nickname.  How about Cricket?"  And she was like "Nooooo I don't like it."  So we'd joke abou...

So remember when I dissed you guys to go to the Red Sox game with my buddy Brian?  We're at the game and he's telling me he's concerned about his daughter.  She's been gaining noticeable weight and he figures she's either pregnant or it's because of drinking.  Hmmmm He said he even went so as to get his sister to ask the daughter if she was pregnant (or fat) and the answer was NO. She's in her 20's and lives with a new boyfriend. You know where this is going, right? He just called and said "I have big news! She was pregnant, but isn't anymore.  My mind immediately thinks she lost the baby or had an abortion......but NO. She just HAD THE BABY. She said she thought she might've been preggers and took a test a couple of months ago, but negative.  And yes she's had her period the whole time.  Last one was on August 1st! So she doesn't feel well, she's having pain so she goes to the hospital.  First thing they do is a preg...

Moi? I have been sucking big time at tournment play and bleeding money when Waffles, poker and jogging maniac, cut through the b.s. and asked me a question.  "Do you want to play for fun or to make money?  What is your primary goal?" Since my answer was "make money" he suggested I play (10) $1 one table games and track my progress. (and build up my bankroll in the process) Game 1 - 3rd place, net win .60 Game 2 - 1st place, net win $3.30 Game 3 - 2nd place, net win $1.50 Game 4 - 1st place, net win $3.30 Game 5 - 7th place, net loss -1.20 Game 6 - 8th place, net loss -1.20 Game 7 - 5th place, net loss -1.20 Game 8 - 4th place, net loss -1.20 Game 9 - 8th place, net loss -1.20 Game 10 - LOST (I forget which place) net loss -1.20 All that totals a net profit of.......wait for it.........a whopping net profit of $1.50.  I'm pleased that I ended up ahead...actually more pleased than I thought I'd be.  That being said losing those last 6 games in a row was ve...

Mojo plows through every Very Josie (except the first one!) like a hot knife through butter and Wednesday night was no different.  I noticed early on that he was slightly shortstacked and I have to admit, it made me smile. But sure enough he built it up until he was the chip leader.  (In the process Mojo's AK took out Waffles' KK) He remained chip leader going into a massive heads up battle with Ratdee. Bit by bit Ratdee whittled Mojo's stack done until he had the lead.  Ratdee relentlessly raised and Mojo folded time after time.  Ratdee changed speeds repeatedly throughout the tourney and his aggression heads up won him the battle.  Well done. ********************************************************* Lightning sucks ass. (I'll get back to this latah) ********************************************************* 1racerx, another guy who played The Very Josie, is someone I work with.  He just finished his thesis at the Boston Architectural ...

But it wasn't me. (I am literally pouting as I type this) Even though it wasn't me it was a helluva lot of fun.  It was a smaller game than usual - 11 peeps on 2 tables.  I started off a little slow, but then gained chips slowly, only to lose them at the final table. I got the kiss of death when Waffles predicted someone going out 6th, but he actually went out 7th.  I NICELY point this out to him and I hear "You're going out 6th then."  The fucker - and yes I went out 6th.  I shoved with 7-7 and got called by Q-Q. At least I lasted longer than Lightning36. Waffles and Wolfie were chip leaders for the first half of the tourney.  And even though Wolfie had a ton of chips Waffles kept predicting a 5th place finish for the Wolfster.  Funny enough, Waffles came in 5th instead.  Did he get sucked out on alot?  Yes.  It was awesome.  :P My friend and yours, Hurricane Mikey, played for the first time!!!  Unfortunately he wasn't...

I'm still steaming from my last tourney, so now is the time to play The Very Josie - while you have an actual chance to outlast me.  But be warned, I'll be coming out with guns blazing.  No alcohol, no excessive chatting, and no home game.  You guys are DEAD MEAT. Winner gets a Very Josie certificate with these girls on it I've never won my own tournament, although I've come in the money quite a few times.  I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember blaming Memphis MOJO for this phenomenon.  He seems so nice when he isn't playing poker. To find the tourney just find me:  veryjosie Be ready for some ninja like poker.  Lightning Bug doesn't stand a chance. Play smart. Josie

Tomorrow is The Very Josie Tournament on Full Tilt.  9:00pm ET.  Please Play!!!!  Yes, it's the second Wednesday of the month.  This month is messed up, but schedule will not be messed up again. Password is pokerbaby. As an added bonus, the winner of The Very Josie will receive a "Very Josie Certificate".  It's too cool for words.  All you gotta do is win!  TOMORROW NIGHT. I played a kinda big tourney last night. 1400 peeps, with 216 in the money.  I played solid for like 3 hours.  Kinda shortstacked as I was heading for the money.  I got dealt QQ.  Guy before me min raises - that along with the blinds and antes made the pot big enough for me.  I jam all in with 5k on top of the raise. He called with K-J off suit.  (can you believe that?)  Flop is nice and low...as is turn....river is a KING.  Boo!!!  Out 260th! (218 in the money). Now that I've been thinking about this hand for a few hours, I've...

T-E-Q-U-I-L-A! Me, last night! I played in the home tournament at Lynne's house last night.  There was a good showing, 18 players with 3 in the money.  Unfortunately, I got there a little too early so I proceeded to drink wine in her backyard while we waited for the horseshoe tournament to be over. And yes, I pretty much had to hug EVERYONE.  I thought I'd get away with hugging the hostesses (Lynne and her wife June) but one by one, they came by with open arms. So my plan heading into this tournament was to play tighter and more conservative than normal.  These guys know how I play.  20% are good players and 80% pure donks.  I wanted to mix it up for the 20%.  I started out following the plan.  What didn't figure into the plan were the tequila shots.  All the brothers and sisters were doing them so I figured what the hell.  I'm just not used to doing shots.  Oh and they were done without a lime chaser!  "Limes are for pus...

So baseball won out over poker and I went to the Red Sox game.  Jon Lester was pitching.  First and second innings were great - hitless, and then the wheels fell off.  Franconia took him out when we were down 4-1 with 2 men on base.  Not good. Proof that I really went to the sox game.  Hey Wakefield's on my ticket.  Hubba Hubba Anyway, the sox ended up losing 9-1.  Boo!  Plus it was 90 degrees at the start of the game with humidity that was just terrible.  I was sooooo sweaty.  Ugh. Brian and Me (I am sweatier than I appear) Then on the way home......I've been soooo good on the diet front (except for some cocktails the other night)...we stopped at THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY for some takeout cheesecake.  Just finishing it up right now.  Sooooo Good. A few more pics from the game: Pesky's Pole and retired sox numbers in the background. Okay I just rooted for Lightbulb a little bit - he's still in The Mookie.  I feel ...

I'm so sorry to do this, but I'm putting off The Very Josie till next Wednesday;  The SECOND Wednesday of the month. Why, you ask? Is it because I'm afraid of Lightning's latest post?  NO! Late yesterday afternoon my friend Brian called.  He owns a portion of Red Sox season tickets and every year he'll give me a list of his games and I pick a game to go to.  THE RED SOX GAME IS TONIGHT and I didn't realize it. I knew I was going to a Sox game in August, but didn't remember the date.  So he calls and he's like "You're all set for the game tomorrow night?" Fuck, I thought he meant The Very Josie.  But he meant The Red Sox.  I told him months ago that I was going and I can't back out.  So we'll do The Very Josie NEXT Wednesday. Guys, I 'm really sorry to mess up the schedule and it won't happen again. Wanna know the worst part?  I had a special guest from Las Vegas who was going to play The Very Josie tonight.  A ...

Tomorrow night is The Very Josie and YOU BETTER PLAY!!!  9pm Eastern Time.  It's been a whole month since we've done this.  Clear your calendars and play.  Or else. But be warned.  I will be rooting for one man and one man only.  And that man is..... Doesn't he look like Lightning? This is who is going to win! It seems Mr. Lightning has put a curse on me. I figure if I show Lightning a little love and root for him (as he requested) the dry patch will soon be over. Here's Lightning cooking chicken with Martha Stewart! 'Win both The Very Josie and The Mookie?  Yeah, he can do that....He's Lightning fucking 36." Play tomorrow night.  You'll hear me rooting for Lightning (obv) and see me kicking his ass (obv) all at the same time.  Should be interesting. BTW I had a great weekend away.  Alot of fun shopping @ outlets stores and kayaking.  My kinda combo.  Kayaking was the most fun.. 4 hour trip on the Sacco River, ...