Razzle Dazzle

I got to MGM 9ish and started my night at 1-2 NLHE.  A bit of a comfort zone for me.  I turned $20 into $60 just in time to get into the mixed game, while drinking premium kamikazees for a buck each.  Las Vegas rocks!  FYI I cannot hold my liquor.

2 drinks = I can feel them
3 drinks = very buzzed
4 drinks = drunk.

I had about 10....at least.

Do I know how to play razz?  No.  I play Hold'em exclusively, but with a little liquid courage I was good to go. I was in the 1 seat and after every single hand, I'd ask the dealer if we could play hold'em now, and invariably the answer would be not yet.  And my response was always "fuck".  Luck Box was directly across from me and helped me quite a bit, and helped the dealer keep track of which game we should be playing.   My 2 down cards were A-3 so when Skidoo bets with a 5 showing, I think my A-3 is decent and call, even though I have a K showing.

Hold on a sec......don't you guys think Skidoo looks like Seth MacFarland (family guy creator)?

Seth or Skidoo?

Skidoo or Seth?

I know, right?

Then I catch a 6...3/5 of perfecto, right?  Next card is the ugly queen.  He's showing a 3-4-5 but there's so much money in the pot I call his bet.  Next card gives me 4/5ths and I'm too drunk to fold.  My mother always said God helps drunks and little children and he did not disappoint.  I caught a 4 on the river.

Now I check, Skidoo bets, I raise and the action stops.  He's shocked.  After hemming and hawing he asks me if I have 6 high.  I answer "Yup".  He asks again and I answer honestly.  Then I add, I wouldn't lie about having that and he folds his 7 high.  First time we've met and I'm impressed that he believed me.  But at least I saved him that last bet! I show him my hand and everyone erupts.  I don't get what the big deal was! 

Photo courtesy of Grumpy.  I was sitting where the red phone is.

I scoop a bunch of chips and soon after CK joins our table.  I'd love to play with her but Miami Don was waiting for me, for a very over due chat about chicks and relationships.  So I move the party over to the bar.

Can you imagine leaving a table with CK, Luck Box, and Poker Grump, but I did.  Too bad I couldn't be in 2 places at once, but truth be told I was in no shape to play poker.

And who do I find at the bar?  Waffles!  Things get fuzzy after this, but we're all chatting and drinking and I keep meeting more and more bloggers.  Can I keep the names straight?  No!

I start talking chicks and relationships with NumbBono....until I realize that he is in fact, NumbBono.  I've played with him in The Very Josie and The Mookie and cannot figure his play out - infuriating.  So I start beating the crap out of him.  Smack, smack, smack.  But that does not phase him one bit (love that!) and he tells me all about his someone special.  And damn, finding her was special.  Relationships like that are rare.  Fucker is lucky in love and poker too, at my expense! (the poker part)

All of a sudden it's morning and we're all heading back to the IP, all jammed into one cab.  But where is my room key?  I start to panic....can't find it....did I give it to another dealer?  Lucky for me, Waffles points to my ass back pocket and says check there.  BINGO!

Couple hours later  we all head over to the Aria for the buffet.  Food looked amazing and I didn't have dinner Friday night.  I load up my plate with eggs, fruit, cheese....and after a bite or two I decide that if I try another there is going to be a stupendous display.  Turns out no one can eat much of anything after all.  Skidoo takes pity on me and finds a single, linty advil in his pocket and I grab it like it's gold. 

Even though I can't eat my breakfast, I start eyeing Miami Don's shrimp.  He has a bowl of shrimp cocktail that looks sooo good and tastes even better.  I leave my full plate and get me some succulent shrimp.  After one or two, I can't eat them either.  I did get my money's worth on the beverages though.  I hydrated with lost of  water, orange juice and coffee.

Not the best shape to be playing the blogger tourney, but then again, we're all in the same boat.

Quick aside about CraAAKKer.  I met him for the first time Friday night.  Now prior to meeting him I'd asked a guy or 2 if they'd met him and got an affirmative answer.  I had a feeling CraAAKKer was a handsome man, so my follow up question, to satisfy my curiosity was "Is he handsome?  I bet he is."  I asked a few guys this question and got the same answer, which was "I don't know.  I can't tell!"

Why not?

I can tell an attractive woman from a shrew.  Even though I don't want to have relations with her, I can certainly see her beauty or lack thereof.  Guys can be weird.

Oh and I was right.  Haaaaaaaaaaaaaandsome!  But I didn't think to take a picture.  See what drinking does, kids? 

Play smart.



Rakewell said…
Ahem. The queen came first, king later. Also, you did not check-raise on the river, because Skidoo acted first. In razz, the player with the best low hand showing goes first on 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th streets.

Finally, in razz your hand is described as a "six low," not a "six high." "Six high" would make more sense, but that's not how it's done.

You should try some microstakes razz games online. I think you'd like it. If nothing else, it would give you the chance to say "fuck" a lot. A LOT.
Josie said…
Details, details. *yawn*

and btw why aren't I in the pic with the cards. Fuck!
BamBam said…
Glad you had fun.

Perhaps a HORSE Very Josie in our future?

Mike Heffner said…
Grump pwns


Bayne_S said…
OMFG how do we get Skiddoo to work on the voice so we can get the best tables in Vegas. We could totally pretend to be Seth's entourage
23skidoo said…
Actually you showed me your cards after my last bet, which is why I folded up, but like you say details details.

I've never gotten the Seth McFarlane comparison, I could work on that.

It was good to meet and hang out with you for a bit this weekend.
Josie said…
Skidoo, it was my pleasure.
The NL Wife said…
Josie, you're totally right . . . Craakker (AKA Grange) is totally hot. How could you know?

And men do have the problem of identifying hot guys - we're so much better at identifying hot chicks.

Like you!
Grange95 said…
Josie, please forgive me, I was on the road when this was posted, and I marked it for commenting later, then forgot about it.

Anyway, it was amazing to meet you at MGM! You are one hot, funny gal, and if I were straight, I might have bought you a drink ...

Looking forward to seeing you next WPBT. I demand lunch!

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