Boooooo
Went home early from work today. One of my dearest friends, Marie, the one who flew a kite for the first time last weekend - has just lost her son. I cannot fucking believe I just typed that line.
Why?
God I cannot stop crying. And I am sure I am not telling this in a cohesive way but I will try.
To say Marie has led a hard life is an understatement. She raised 2 kids, and now she's been pretty much raising her grandkids and supporting her children too. And working far too much to boot. Ugh. Truth be told, I always thought she did too much for her kids. Maybe that's mean, maybe that's terrible, but they're adults.
Anway, Alex, her son, and his girlfriend, had a baby about (6) months ago and all were living with Marie. Alex was drug free, just got a job, and adored his baby girl, Lily. I thought things were looking up, but last night he came home high and was told he could not be around his daughter that way and was kicked out.
He went back to his friends and overdosed. When the ambulance arrived he was already gone.
I called Marie - for what? To offer comfort to the inconsolable? I don't know. All she kept saying over and over was "The last words I said to him were, get out of my house and don't come back! This is my fault."
Of course it is not. I reminded her how she dedicated her life to her kids and how he had to know how much she loved him. Then she told me Alex's father hadn't been told yet.
That really hit home. To tell a parent that his son has died. NOTHING is worse than that. No loss greater. Maybe that's why I cannot stop crying. I had to tell my mother and father that their son had died. The worst thing I have ever done in my life. I wish I could take some of that away from Marie but I can't.
The last time I saw Alex was mid August. A bunch of us got together at Rene's house for ahen pool party. Any guy in his right mind would steer clear away from our loud gossipy group. But he surprised us by stopping by with his new baby Lily. He knew how I love love love babies and I hadn't seen her yet. That is the sweet boy I've known for many many years.
Josie
Why?
God I cannot stop crying. And I am sure I am not telling this in a cohesive way but I will try.
To say Marie has led a hard life is an understatement. She raised 2 kids, and now she's been pretty much raising her grandkids and supporting her children too. And working far too much to boot. Ugh. Truth be told, I always thought she did too much for her kids. Maybe that's mean, maybe that's terrible, but they're adults.
Anway, Alex, her son, and his girlfriend, had a baby about (6) months ago and all were living with Marie. Alex was drug free, just got a job, and adored his baby girl, Lily. I thought things were looking up, but last night he came home high and was told he could not be around his daughter that way and was kicked out.
He went back to his friends and overdosed. When the ambulance arrived he was already gone.
I called Marie - for what? To offer comfort to the inconsolable? I don't know. All she kept saying over and over was "The last words I said to him were, get out of my house and don't come back! This is my fault."
Of course it is not. I reminded her how she dedicated her life to her kids and how he had to know how much she loved him. Then she told me Alex's father hadn't been told yet.
That really hit home. To tell a parent that his son has died. NOTHING is worse than that. No loss greater. Maybe that's why I cannot stop crying. I had to tell my mother and father that their son had died. The worst thing I have ever done in my life. I wish I could take some of that away from Marie but I can't.
The last time I saw Alex was mid August. A bunch of us got together at Rene's house for a
Josie
Comments
Sammi you're so right.
So sorry Jo.
The human catch 21 is just a brutal life sucking bitch from which, there just is no return.
My sincerest sypathies to both Marie and you.
((((((HUGS))))))