Dogs Are Vermin

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

I don't like dogs.

Sugar Bear does.

I especially don't like small dogs.

I'm considering getting a dog, a chihuaha.  I must be out of my fucking mind.  The dog needs a home and it's free (I'm fucking cheap).  Sugar Bear doesn't know of this thank goodness. OMFG

I should just say NO like Nancy Reagan, or as Waffles said, Barbara Bush.  :P

Oh and there are a couple of new blogs on the blog roll over yonder. --->  Check out the newbies, Rob and Cranky.  Good shiat.


PS I should really just say no instead of ruining my life, right?

PPS As luck would have it Sugar Bear has always wanted a chihuahua specifically.  :(  and a duck.


SirFWALGMan said…
I look forward to the follow up post "OMG! I need the Dog Whisperer! This dog bites me!!!!"
Josie said…
that settles it - no dog or dog bites.
Anonymous said…
Well, I figure you're so obsessed with tony you must really want him or something.

He's probably got it in his mind that you're his girlfriend LOL
Josie said…
LOL Anony, Is that what you figure? Keep figuring and keep reading my blog please!
badbilly32 said…
if you want to be tied down to your house, have cat and dog fights have him tear up your favorite hoodie, cause you left it on the couch, have to go outside and walk him in the middle of winter on a sunday cause sugar bear wont get up to do it then by all means get a dog

p.s. much like getting a red rider b.b. gun and shooting out your eye, you can surely bet if you get a dog you will get bit on your ass!
Josie said…
Jeez, billy your comment started out sooo exciting but went downhill fast.

I'm not gonna do it. You're right.
crafty said…
Just make sure the dog has some place to go. If the alternative is a shelter, you have to step up.
Josie said…
Gary, I disagree. I don't HAVE to do anything. It's not fucking dog, nor is it my responsibility. Someone else has to do those things.
Rob said…
I love dogs, Josie. I don't have one myself but I dogsit a lot for my friends. They have two--make it three, now--adorable Maltese I told a cute story of the dogs in Vegas on my blog.

They are a lot of work, and they do tie you down somewhat. But they give you a lot of love, and it's pretty much unconditional.
crafty said…
of course you don't HAVE to do anything. I'm saying, if there's nobody to take it, the dog is going to live a mean, ugly, short life in a cage if you don't.

Now I'm sorry I bought you that lobster roll.
Josie said…
Rob, Unconditional love from a dog? Blah. And I read that dog story of yours - where the dog licks the waitresses tits - NO THANK YOU.

Gary, now you owe me ANOTHER lobster roll! Besides, shouldn't you be working diligently? :)
Josie said…
Gary, not mention of this dog to SB please.
crafty said…
no, certainly not.
grrouchie said…
I love dogs, and prefer the smaller ones because they are easier to take care of and clean up afterwards.

When I come home my Monster is the first to greet me, very excitedly and he wants to give me lots of attention. If I have just had a shit day of poker or work or whatever he always cheers me up with his happiness to see me.

I got the mutt because an ex wanted a dog because it was too quiet in the house, but I would never part with him for the world.
Right now he's curled up in my lap, under a blanket sleeping away and I'm horribly content.
Rob said…
C'mon, Josie....don't knock it you haven't tried it!
JT88Keys said…
We have a dog and she has brought a lot of joy to my family (note I didn't say to me...just my family). Billy is right though. Once you have a dog you can never just decide at the last minute that you'd like to take a road trip or even spend the day somewhere without figuring out what to do with the dog.'

I can't remember the comedian that said it, but they pointed out that when you get a dog you're really purchasing a small tragedy since someday that dog is going to die.

I would not get another dog. In fact I'm patiently waiting for mine to pass on so I can replace the carpet and furniture and not have to worry about a senile pup doing its business everywhere.
Zin said…
@josie bigcharles, my sister has 2 dogs, a yorkie and a chihuahua, get a yorkie instead of a chihuahua, a yorkie does not shed any hair the chihuahua sheds constantly.
grrouchie said…
I'm with Zin.
I have a Silky, which is like a better version of the Yorkie, and he never sheds. Has hair instead of fur and is hypo-allergenic for people with those type of issues.
Josie said…
@zin, please stop calling me other people's names. I get it. It's a joke. Ha ha. Move on please.

@grrouchie, I bet you have a silky. lol
Zin said…
@josie calm down and take a deep breath. Need to work on your patience its getting out of control.
Josie said…
Much better zin! ty
Rob said…
grrouchie, your comment that starts, "I love dogs" is very nice, it is quite touching and if you keep making comments like it you will have to change your screen name, because that is the opposite of grrouchie!

Josie, I want to thank you again for adding me to your blogroll.

Also....if you saw how cute that Maltese doggie is in person, you would be BEGGING him to lick your ta-ta's!

But seriously, if you can start a post with saying "I don't like dogs" a million times, there is no way you should get a dog. Just no way. It wouldn't be fair to you, and it especially wouldn't be fair to the dog.
badbilly32 said…
you must have read it wrong, i think what you wanted to read was: do you want me to tie you down to something in your house................ :) much more doable than a dog!
badbilly32 said…
cats f.t.w. although a nice male mallard.....
KenP said…
Not a favorite breed. It may be one that is friendly and tolerates strangers and isn't nippy but the breed doesn't gravitate that way.

Think working breeds or retrievers. They tend to be far saner than the toy breeds.

As to it will ____ if you don't...

Animals are under pressure due to the economy. Many pounds are kill pounds. You save one and another gets dusted. So, get the dog that makes sense and fits in. You can't save them all.
sebszebra said…
Dogs are vermin. As I often say, "A dog isn't just for Christmas. The left-overs will last all week."

Are you mad? Will the food and vet bills be free? Does walking it 365 days a year appeal? Does it yapping any hour of the day and destroying anything it can get at sound like a great plan? You will be stuck with it after SB leaves home.

Get him a duck and a recipe book.
Josie said…

I loved your comment so much I changed the name of the post.


Littleacornman said…
I'm with Grouchie on this.It takes time to build and it's certainly a commitment but the special bond between man/woman and a dog is well worth the initial toilet training,walks in the rain and any vets bills.

As for this "it'll bite you" rubbish your dog will do anything to protect you and will be loyal to the end and even beyond!( see Greyfriars bobby)
grrouchie said…
@rob - I figure'd my comments on your blog last night were enough to prove that I'm still grouchie :)
I didn't mean to start a shit storm with them, but I stand by my remarks.

Maybe under the influence of Novocaine and painkillers and booze tonight I'll write up my thoughts on your blog post and what I think is a fair comparison that way I can still express my views but on my own damned blog :)

@Josie - new post name = no beuno!
Josie said…
@grrouchie - I thought it was perfectly acceptable, seeing as Im an evil overlord. :P
sebszebra said…
I had several bad experiences with dogs as a child. The most annoying was a dog-owner saying "It won't hurt you" (as they always bloody did) just after the mutt had bitten me! Of course, if a dog did bite someone, the dog-owner would immediately accuse the victim of having done something to provoke it. In that instance, the dog had sneaked up behind me and bitten my leg which was the first I knew of it. Obviously, I had been walking along minding my own business in a manner unacceptedly provoking to a dog I had not even been aware of.
Josie said…
Seb, sounds very much like when I got bitten on the ass by my neightbors dog. I wasn't patting the thing!

Acornman, Nacho is a sweet, cute and SMART dog and I believe the exception to the rule. BTW I'm a firm believer that dogs, like people, run the gamit of very smart to dumb like a post. As Forest Gump said, you never know what you're going to get.
Rob said…
grrouchie, if you're a dog lover, you really just a big softie. That stuff on my blog last night was just to throw people off.

Sorry, man, but you've been outed as a good, kind person.
Wolfshead said…
That ain't a dog, it's a glorified rodent. If you can drop kick it over the back fence it doesn't qualify as a dog
Cranky said…
VJ - no matter what, if you don't like dogs, don't get one. Don't let someone guilt you into taking it. Your son can get one when he lives on his own. I got my first dog on the 2nd day in my first apt right out of college. Oh, and, he can get a duck then, too.

Thanks for adding me to your blogroll though I dost not speaketh of the poker.
The Neophyte said…
My 2 cents? Avoid most little dogs, especially the nervous types like chihauhas and poodles. But there are some small dogs that are not the nervous types. We have a Maltese who is not only an extremely calm dog but also doesn't shed and is the smartest dog I've ever had.

Pros - they're friendly, quiet and smart. It can teach a kid some responsibility to take care of a pet.

Cons - Unlike cats, you gotta take em out to walk them and when the weather is miserable, it's 5am, or whatever, you'll have to do it. Sometimes not a fun time at all.

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