Very Josie

First of all, thank you to Jon for being the first to wish me a Happy Birthday on this blog. Yes, it's my birthday and yes, I'm fucking old. STFU. Not only am I working on my birthday, but guess what I'm doing at lunch time today? I'm going to the post office to ship brownies to a grumpy person! There's some irony for you. Oh and Lindy was 100% right. After the brownie batter was scraped into the baking pan and in the oven....the brownie covered bowl and spoon were calling me and yep, mmmmm I had a taste. Frigging yummy! Oh and I hada brownie after they were done too. It was almost my birthday for Pete's sake! They're delish. So I'm in the elevator of my building riding up to my office this morning and there's an unfamiliar man in the elevator with me, going to a different floor and he says to me, something like: "It can't be that bad, why so glum?" (this is just me in my early morning/precoffee/anti-social stance) Fo...

Evan's birthday cake. He got a red left-handed electric guitar for his birthday and a matching cake. I didn't think to take pics until after I carved the cake out of a rectangle. You can see the template I cut out of a manilla folder in the background above. The neck of the guitar is made of Rice Krispie treats and the rest is vanilla cake. At this point I put the base coat of frosting on. Frosted the neck. The black frosting is actually banana flavored. Getting there.... The guitar strings are the only inedible part, which are embroidery thread. The thingys on the end are Sugar Babies. Finito! My first and probably last guitar cake. It took a lot longer than I thought it would. This one isn't made of cake! Josie

I was witness to a particular bit of douche baggery at Foxwoods on Saturday night that bothers me. Believe me when I play a tournament I'm very competitive and will do anything in my power to win, but I want to win because I earned it not because I'm a douche bunt. What, you've never heard the term douche bunt before? That is an old nickname of mine, coined by none other than Gary...The Crafty Southpaw. Gary started calling me Douche Bunt because, as he put it " for when douche bag or cunt just aren't enough". He combined the two terms just for me! Ain't he sweet? He then shortened it to DB and hasn't used it in a while, I'm happy to report. Anyway, let me tell you about this douche bunt move I witnessed. I was in the 8 seat, while the 10 seat and the 3 seat were in a big hand. Mr. 10 Seat was a regular and sort of recognized me as having played with me before and started chatting immediately in a friendly manner. He was in the proce...

Tim Wakefield, #49, knuckle ball pitcher extraordinaire retired today from the Boston Red Sox and from major league baseball.  He had the distinction of being the oldest active Red Sox player as well as being the one with the most longevity with the sox.  Obviously being a knuckleball pitcher helped out here.  Throwing the ball at 60 mph instead of 90 mph will indeed prevent burn out. BYE WAKE.  Mama's gonna miss you, your blue eyes and they way you filled out your uniform.  *sigh* You see, I LOVED Wakefield for over a decade.  Yes I said loved , and I'm not one to throw the EL word around.  Anyway, I heard the news earlier in work.  My minions here ran over to my office as soon as word was out.  My love for Wake was well known everywhere including the office because if he was pitching, I'd get first dibs on leftover (free) sox tix.  :) Gary , as you can see from his post, thought of me immediately as wel...

I suck. :( I played so badly in last night's tournament I can't even tell you.  Okay maybe I can.  I was pushing too hard with mediocre hands and lost chips early which I HATE.  I wound up in 96th place which sucks ass. Then I played in a ring game with Duggle and Gary.  Thank you both for donating to the Very Josie fund.  Heh.  I turned $4 to over $20.  :)  THAT was fun.  Gary cried "uncle" first....regardless I stayed up way too late playing - reminded me of the Full Tilt days, and went to bed after 1am. Ugh. Have a nice long holiday weekend my dears!  Cranky email me about Foxwoods!  : D Play smart. Josie

I found my tourney!  It starts at 9:30 Eastern Time.  $44 Buyin Deepstack, Guaranteed $3,500 and it's tourney # 48852082 .  Maybe if you're watching I'll play smart.  I'm VeryJosie (surprise surprise) on BCP. As promised, this is me and my new haircut waiting for the bus this morning.  I dunno if straightening my hair makes it toooo flat.  As I said I might let it go a little wild and poofy like the good ole days. My sister got me the scarf for Christmas.  It's cashmere and awesomely soft.  Oh and it also happens to be the color of my blog!  Note the cruddy graffiti at the bus stop. In work!  You can see my plant behind me! As I said, I'm playing a tournament tonight on BCP.  As soon as I figure out which one, I'll update this post with the information.  See ya tonight!  BTW I've already taken the necklace and eaarings off and soon enough the yellow blouse will be replaced by a Papelbon sweatshirt!  O...

I get my hair cut maybe 3 times a year, tops.  In other words, not all that fucking much.  So I was very overdue for a haircut....something my sister kept kindly reminding me of.  "Oh my God look at those dead ends.  You're hair is fried.  Cut it off." You know, sweet stuff like that.  Although she IS a hairdresser, so she knows what she's talking about. Anyway, last night she held an intervention.  She stopped by at like 7pm with her equipment bag.  Ut oh! (hi duggle!) She said she was supposed to give someone a hair cut but that was cancelled and she had time to do mine NOW. Fawk. So I got my hair cut.  It seemed like a ton was falling off, perhaps because she thinned it out by adding layers.  It used to be one length, all long.  Now there are short bits all throughout and the lack of bulk made it poof up last night.  This morning I blowdryed it straight and it looks pretty good.  I took some pictures o...

Does anyone know about re-entry tournaments?  I'm thinking of playing one in the wsop circuit that's going around and I don't really understand the difference. There is an Event 2A, then an Event 2B on the following day, and then day 3 after that.  So I'm guessing if I bust out of Event 2A, I can play 2B the next day.  Unlike a rebuy, where you can just buy back in immediately.  Do the people that DIDN'T bust out of 2A also play 2B or do they just wait for day 3? Also, what are the best strategies for playing this type of tournament? I'm thinking this type of tournament would be good for my aggressive style as I'd have a safety next to get back in if I went too crazy....but is uberaggressive the best mode for this tournament? I know NOTHING and I need to know EVERYTHING. Any information you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Spank you very much. And since I'm asking questions - an interesting situation came up during my league finale g...

You might've already heard this, but last night I resumed The Very Josie on Black Chip Poker, and I was not pleased.  Not pleased with BLACK CHIP POKER, that is.  Why, you ask?  More than a couple of reasons, 1.  3 different guys tried to sign up but were unable to because of techinical issues. 2.  I was promised a personalized BCP badge for my blog and was told at the last minute they were behind and maybe I should make it myself. 3.  The best part of the tourney should have been chatting with my biatches but I was unable to - BCP doesn't allow for that if you're knocked out.  (Thank you Bayne) 4. Even when I was still in the game, I STILL couldn't chat with the other table....only my own.  WTF is up with THAT? 5. I was unable to transfer funds to anyone.  Apparently I have to send them my ID or something before I can make transfers. There were other things about the website I didn't like but those were the top 5 and they're big enou...

Poker Grump made me his bitch. -Very Josie

Tonight's the night we'll make history.... Well maybe not, BUT tonight is The Very Josie! Yeah baby, it is.  Black Chip Poker !  You can find the tournament under the "Private" tab.  I'm already registered so you could always just try to find me.  I'm the only one registered so far by the way.  :(  Don't make me play by myself.  Erm, I'd rather play with a bunch of men obv.  Heh. The Very Josie 10PM Eastern Time (3am if you live in the UK.  Real men from the UK will play this game though, like this guy with a phallicy last name - he's "kinda" cute (for a Brit) - he's going to play! If you have any trouble finding the game or logging on email me at veryjosie@aol.com . (don't bug me unless you need help) And if you haven't made an initial deposit yet on Black Chip Poker, use bonus code VERYJOSIE750 to get a 150% match. To get in you'll need the password which is pokerbaby !!! Oh and my plan is to pu a sup...

I met up with Hoyazo just as the tournament was starting.  He was at table 7 and I was seat one on table 25; very far away from each other.  Darn!  I'd never played with Hoy at my table and I was hoping to.  My table had 3 pretty bad players and 2 very good ones.  One man was a calling station, calling huge bets down to the river with middle pair.  I got lucky in an early hand against him when I turned a straight and he paid me off with top pair crappy kicker.  About 30 minutes into the tournament I got pocket 6s.  I raised to 5x the big blind and got 4 callers. omfg.  Flop was A-J-6.  Bing!  I bet about 3/4 of the pot and one guy goes all in, and then the old guy who I'd crippled also goes all in and of course I call.  One had A-10 and he wasn't shortstacked and the older guy had A-2.  Jesus.  My hand held up and I got 2 black chip bounties.  A few hands later I had A-K.  Guy to my right bets 1,000 and I ra...

I will be doing a huge write up on my Foxwoods MegaStack Super Bounty tournament that I played in on Friday, and this ain't it.  I have a lot of interesting stories to tell....so stay tuned.  In the mean time, I'll give you the bottom line. I met up with Hoy and had a great time and ended up with a nice cash....sort of.  It was a super bounty tournament so the bounties were supersized in comparision to the prize pool.  A paltry $130 went into the prize pool and $100 was each bounty.  Mama does love a bounty tournament.  :) 353 peeps with 35 itm.  I played for 10 hours and made it to 30th place which got me about $250, a hair over my buy in.  The thing is I also knocked out 7 fishponents for a nice $700.  After I was out I decided to hit the 2-5NL cash game for one hour with my newly found money.  In less than an hour I had won a buy in there.  Kinda ironic that I won more money at cash in an hour than I did playing that tournamen...

I'm playing in a megastack tournament at Foxwoods today with THIS GUY.   We always do well when we play together, and I want to keep that up.  I believe it's MY turn this time.  In August we played at Foxwoods in a WPT event (I think!) and I came in 4th place out of almost 300 runners.  Then in November we played at Borgata <---nice fricking poker room, mama likie, and Hoy went deep and donked out one before the final table. <---that's me giving a compliment, mkay?  I might've lasted an hour, but won about the same as Hoy from playing cash.  Oh and that was also the trip where I taught Wolfie how to play his own game.  Heh. Speaking of Wolfie, WOLFIE BABY , thinking of you.  Please don't be all down and blah. Time to go deep.  Time to last longest.  I'm feeling really good and confident. <---Yes, more than usual. Play smart. Josie

I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. I don't like dogs. Sugar Bear does. I especially don't like small dogs. I'm considering getting a dog, a chihuaha.  I must be out of my fucking mind.  The dog needs a home and it's free (I'm fucking cheap).  Sugar Bear doesn't know of this thank goodness. OMFG I should just say NO like Nancy Reagan, or as Waffles said, Barbara Bush.  :P Oh and there are a couple of new blogs on the blog roll over yonder. --->  Check out the newbies, Rob and Cranky.  Good shiat. Josie PS I should really just say no instead of ruining my life, right? PPS As luck would have it Sugar Bear has always wanted a chihuahua specifically.  :(  and a duck.

Kelly's Lobster Roll That is a photo of MY lobster roll right before I ate it.  I don't remember why, but Gary bought that baby for me.  No they aren't cheap.  Look at all that fresh yummy lobster jammed onto the roll.  It's so over stuffed you'd think I couldn't get it in my mouth, right? Guess again! Where there's a will, there's a way! Pretty frigging attractive....NOT.  LOL  I guess this concludes my food porn post for the day.  Unless of course you're interested in dessert....if you have room for Food Porn, Dessert Edition clicky on the linky but be warned, it's not for the faint of heart. I personally will not be eating any cupcakes.  ;) Josie

Sample of their delicacies Kelly's is a roast beef and fish place and is all sorts of yum.  It's been a staple on Revere Beach for about 100 years and they opened a joint in my town a couple of years ago.  Evan (who I'm not supposed to blog about) and his buddy Nick just HAD to go there last night for dinner so a few of us up and went. I really think it was all Nick's idea and put Evan up to talking me into it, which is fine....except I'm on a diet, so it wouldn't be the first place I'd pick for dinner, but off we went. Nick pulled out a ton of change and a couple of crumbled bills to buy what he was craving: an order of cheddar bacon fries and a soda.  The order of fries is HUGE and no one other than that Man vs. Food guy could finish it all.  I told Nick dinner was on me and asked him to order something else to go with it like a burger or chicken strips or fish...but he refused saying all he wanted were the fries.  Fine.  Then Sugar Bear places his o...

Black Chip Poker, that is! The Very Josie is back.  What?  You don't know what The Very Josie is?  Child, you've been missing out!  The Very Josie is my private poker tournament.  It used to run on Full Tilt Poker but Mama has moved houses and you can now find it on Black Chip Poker!  The Very Josie is a No Limit Texas Holdem Knockout Bounty MTT.  It costs $10+fee to play. $8 goes to the prize pool and $2 is the knockout bounty you'll receive for every person you knock out.  Sounds fun, right?  It will run once per month on the first Monday of every month.  That is the rule - The Very Josie is on the first Monday, get it?  However, as you might've heard, there's an exception to every rule.  For this first month...the month of February, The Very Josie will be on  Monday, February 13th.  (fuck ya, yes I know the 13th is the 2nd Monday, but I missed the first Monday and didn't want to wait a whole month, mka...

This was me pouting on Saturday night after I lost my tournament.  Unfortunately, it expresses how I feel right now, having just finished watching the Superbowl. Yes, I know it's a fugly and unflattering picture. No, I don't give a fuck. They scored more points than we did. *sigh* In an effort to block it out, I'll show you some  photos from Saturday night's L&BM Poker League tournament.  When I started playing in this tournament a couple of years ago, I would jokingly refer to it as L&BM because all of the other players were, in fact, lesbians or black men.  The league is run by Lynne and her wife June.  I just found it unusual that there were be little to no white men in the league - how unusual.  Of course there weren't many heterosexual women there either.  Now a couple of years later, there are some white guys, although they are still in the minority.  Interestingly enough when we were down to 3 people in the league finale, they ...

Cannot frigging wait for Sunday, when the PATRIOTS WIN THE SUPERBOWL.  And no it's not going to be close.  I predict Tom Terrific passes for close to 400 yards.  Take that to the bank. GOOOOOO PATRIOTS! Josie

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma. Josie:  I wonder if vampires can drink coconut milk. ************************************************** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Josie:  Go ahead...I'll wait.  No, I couldn't do it either. ************************************************** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass ) Josie:  OMG I could've been killed! ************************************************* You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Josie:  OMG I should be like 110 lbs!  I've been gypped! ************************************************ Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. Josie: KenP has been producing acorns for decades! ************************************************ The first product to have a bar code wa...