Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Word Verification

I hate word verifications.  In order to post a comment (and you guys know I love to comment) the majority of blogs require a word verification.

Oh my aching balls (I really don't have any) what a goddamn pain in the ass that is.  Every damn time.  And they can't be common words.  Oh no!  These are polysyllabic atrocities like......

accensensaties
bronefose
monavoco
aninastrosa
pariago

I only wish I was making these words up but I am not.

Today's was just priceless though.  I commented on Morning Thunder's blog and the word verification was......wait for it.......................shotgism.

I was like - does that say.....SHOT GISM.  Really?

I wanna meet the guy (and most surely it's a guy) who's job it is to make up these words.

Then I want to kill him.

Josie

Monday, August 30, 2010

Pokerwit VS. Bam Bloggers KINDA LIVE Blogging

Game is about to begin!

Keep Flopping Jew, Lightning, HeffMike, Pinky stinky and a couple of unknowns are at my table.

Just got pocket aces against Yor666 but i didn't show.  Raised pre, bet flop and got called.  bet pot on turn and he folded.

Oh and Lightning is the early chip leader with about 2k.  I have about 1,700.

Update:  I still don't know who won but Congrats to Gary, who I hear came in 4th place - ITM!!!

Hurricane Season No More

An era has come to an end. 

It's Monday morning and I just did what I've been doing every Monday morning for the last couple of years. 

-Come into work
-Check work email
-Get a cup of hazelnut coffee
-Read Hurricane Mikey's blog while I get ready for the day ahead

EVERY GODDAMN MONDAY

Mikey is as addicting as the caffeine I'd ingest while reading him.  And heaven forbid there was no new post waiting for me on Monday.  I'd be reclicking him all day waiting for my fix.

I loved reading the blog of a poker dealer in Las Vegas.  I'm a poker girl so why wouldn't I?  But if you've read Mikey, you know there's alot more to his blog than poker.  Hell, a girl could be waiting weeks for a post with actual poker content, but that didn't matter, as long as Mikey was posting something.

I enjoyed ALL the posts, regardless of poker content.  There were posts about:

-His trips to Costco to buy Mexican Coke, trail mix and cashews
-March Mayhem
-Boobs
-Recipes
-Hazelnut Coffee
-Jigsaw Puzzles
-That crazy biatch, Marcie
-Purchasing his health and beauty products online (coconut body wash)
-Melancholy Christmas posts
-Peanut butter balls
-Book reviews (I just finished reading Mike Matusow's Check Raising The Devil because of Mikey's review)
-Food Pron (no this is not a typo)
-Cocktail waitresses
-Stripper that looked like Reggie Lewis* Funniest frigging story EVAR
-Guest bloggers like VERY JOSIE.  You guys know the first thing I ever wrote about poker was posted on Mikey's blog.  I cannot tell you how thrilled I was.

As much as I loved the posts about poker I came to realize that it was the writing I loved most of all.  Mikey's writing would take me far away from the office.  Now that's a frigging gift that keeps on giving.

Anyway, now Mikey is on his way to Tennessee.  Gone from Vegas but surely not gone from blogosphere.  Even still - When I read his post this morning I got the same uneasy feeling I got when he "decided" to up and take the summer off from blogging. (obviously he didn't consult me about THAT).

Ugh, it could be weeks until Mikey blogs again.  And yes I read many blogs every day now but they don't have that Mikey voice that lulls me into contentment.  (btw I am talking about his literary voice, but he has a damn nice real voice too)

God speed Mikey!  And after you've settled in for a day or two you might wanna plug in the ole laptop and write up a post.  For those crazy reclickers.  I'm just sayin'.

And for my readers....if you wanna read the funniest shit EVER.  READ THIS  It's Mikey's post about a crazy weekend and a stripper that reminded him of Reggie Lewis.  It does not end well.  Soooo funny.

Sweet Mama

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Poker Team Challenge

Blogger team (in my mind)

Monday night I'm playing a private tournament with Bam-Bam.  It's Bam-Bam's team of bloggers vs. Pokerwit professional poker players.  Bah. 

You guys know how this is going to end up, right?  We are going to kick serious ASS.  I've been playing some tourneys in preparation and last night I came in 2nd place in a 135 peep rush game.  Mama's ready!

Bammer is looking for more team members so sign on up!


 All you have to do is find me (veryjosie) and you will find the tournament.  You can just watch me kick ass, or you can play on my team!  Me, Riggsy, Bammer, Lightning, PinkyStinky, Dr. Chako, Schaubsy, Smokkee, Waffles...With a stacked team like that, I'm kinda feeling bad for the poker pros up against us. (not really)

Monday Night at 9pm ET

In honor of our host Bammer, I plan on playing in a Bedrock type outfit shown below:


Me or Raquel Welch....

Oh DDionysus! Bammer needs your help.  Sign up baby!

See ya Monday night!

What Team Bammer really looks like

Play smart.

Josie

PS.  Looks like someone Canadian owes me a drink!




Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wednesday Night Poker

It's almost midnight, so I am going to make this quick.  I played 2 games at home and cashed in both.  The loss at Seabrook has till been bothering me...or maybe it's reading about Mike Matusow, but I sat down at the table and told everyone I was going to play like it was a $100 game.

To which Gary replied "Oh so you're going to lose early and over value your hand?"

The bastard.

But I did.  I forced myself to go back to square one poker.  Sitting back and sizing up everyone's play before I start making moves.  Testing my tells.  Putting pressure on tight players. 

I split in both games.  Yeeee Hawww!!

Then I played The Mookie.  I played pretty well.  Bluffed, slow played, isolated aggression.  I went out 8th I think.  NYRambler made a standard raise and I KNEW he didn't have much.  I jammed all in with K-J to pick up his bet, the blinds and antes.  He called my all in with 7-8 sooted and rivered an inside straight.

I really enjoyed the game tonight though.  The players at my table were so fun and challenging to play with.  I just wish I lasted a little longer.

Oh and before all that poker started, I also worked out and had a gross yummy protein shake for dinner.  The downside is I'm eating the potato chips Gary left here as I write this.  Damn you Gary!!!!

Play smart.

Josie

Lunchtime AGAIN & Misc Crap

A couple of girls that I LOVE LOVE LOVE no longer work here, but they took me out for lunch today.  Yes, I get alot of mileage out of my birthday.  We went for Thai food, which was delish and they gave me the most beautiful, handpainted silk scarf.  All swirly with shades of seafoam green, soft blues and white. It's so beautiful I may have to take a picture of it to share.

So these are the two girls that I was coercing into trying online dating.  Neither have dated in a couple years and I say why waste the best years of your life, right?  It took alot of convincing....well it took more than that.  It took a bet.  I won the bet so the girls (well ONE of them - THE OTHER IS A WELCHER) registered on plentyoffish.com.  Oh and part of the bet was that I got to write their profiles, which I did over drinks!

So anyway, Jenny told her sister about the dating website and the sister joined too. Now so far Jenny's only chatting with guys online and hasn't met anyone live yet, but her sister has!

The sister meets this guy and the guy asks her if she's been dating anyone else.  She said she's been on a few dates.  The guy says "Great.  I like the idea of thinking of you with other men.  Have you had sex with them too?  That's what I'd really enjoy.  You with another man."

Ut oh!

Some other winning lines from Mr. Smooth were:

"Can you go pick that up?  I want to look at your ass while you do it."

"I hope you know I expect sex by the 3rd date."

There was no second date with Mr. Smooth, so I don't think he has to worry about the third one. What an idiot, but it sure made for some laughs at lunch.

Last night I got home from work and told Sugar Bear that Operacion Repo was all fake reenactments.  His first response was shock and his second response was "Then can I watch it?".

Play smart, like I'm going to tonight.  I may even wear sunglasses during my home game.  Tonight the drought ends.

Josie

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Lunchtime at the Architecture Firm

Mmmmmm

Well it's Tuesday afternoon and I'm eating lunch at my desk.  Funny enough, my lunch looks almost EXACTLY like the photo above.  And it's delish!  Have I told you I've started a protein shake diet supplement diet thingy?  It's going very well.  I subsititute one or two meals per day with this wicked gross shake and voila - slim Very Josie!  Well, not yet but it's a work in progress.  :)

An added bonus to drinking these shakes is since they are not very appetizing, when I have actual food, like today's salad, it's like I'm eating ambrosia.  Soooooooooo good.

The guy at GNC told me to mix ftuit or peanut butter in the shake to make it more palatable.  My first try was with the peanut butter, which if anything made it worse.  Next I tried mixing in frozen blueberries and that was good!  (well, good enough).  I think the tartness of the blueberries cuts the uber sweetness of the vanilla cream shake. 

The other benefit is that according to GNC guy I must workout before I drink the shake so I've been doing that....5-6 days per week!  Unheard of for me, but I'm doing it. 

The end product is my knee will hurt less, and that's the main goal right now.  Although it's a catch-22.  I cannot strain, bend or aggravate my knee, yet exercise is beneficial to my knee.

So I get home last night and do an awesome work out.....you know the kind where you think about quitting halfway through and then not only do you finish, but do even more than you planned on.  So I'm done and Sugar Bear is watching TV and I start watching while I contemplate making my dinner shake.

He was watching a tv show called Operacion Repo, which is on TruTV channel.  I hate that channel because the shows are not appropriate for a 12 year old IMO.  But Sugar Bear is like an attorney.  If he is forbidden to watch a show, I have to provide reasons in triplicate as to why, and then the debate begins.  Whatever valid reason I have, he tries to tear it apart.

I really was too tired for an argument and this show didn't seem all that terrible.........at first. But omg!  Those poor people!  Not only are they getting their vehicle repossessed, but if they say boo to these bullies they get beaten or pepper sprayed!  In the 15 minutes of the show I watched I saw about 6 people get pepper sprayed in the eyes at close range.  All the while the repo guys (who should really try my GNC shake) were complaining about the behavior of these poor folks.

Anyway 15 minutes into it, I decide I cannot watch people in pain, being bullied and harmed so I tell Sugar Bear to change the channel.  "Why?  What's wrong with it?  There's no swearing!"

I tried to explain how the violence on real people offended me, but it was difficult for him to comprehend.  Maybe it was because he would giggle and laugh every time someone got hurt!  wtf!  He found that funny?  Am I raising a serial killer?

Today when I googled it (yes the show bothered me that much) I found out that it's all FAKE.  Based on stories that are real, but they are all reinactments based on the repo men's memory.  Ugh.

We switched to Pawn Stars - one of the few shows we both like to watch.

OMG I still have most of my yummy lunch to eat....which I will do while reading Check Raising The Devil.  I'm about 30 pages in and it's soooooooooo good.  I may actually like Mike Matusow, poor guy.

Play smart,

Josie

PS - Speaking of playing smart, I am still steaming from my worst loss ever at Seabrook.  Grrrrr

Monday, August 23, 2010

Poker and Waffles

This story does not have a happy ending.

I went up to the Seabrook Poker Room with my pal and yours, Waffles.  The plan was to play in the 7pm $100 NLHE tourney, but we got there early so we could play a sng first, and perhaps win the buyin.

First hand Waffles raises 5x the BB and gets some action.  Flop is A-K-9. There are bets and raises and an all in jam.  Waffles instacalls and I'm thinking he has either pocket aces or kings.  He turns over pocket aces and doubles up.  Woot!

Both of us are doing pretty well.  I lose some chips to Waffles when I raise with A-Q sooted and he re-raises 4K.  Now we only got 5k in starting chips, so that really hurt.  I figured I have to jam or fold.  Fucking Waffles putting pressure on me!  I FOLD my hand and he shows QQ.  Meh.

Playing away and there are 5 of us left - 3 are itm.  Waffles and this other guy (we'll call him Idiot) are the huge stacks at the table and are in a hand heads up.  Waffles raises pre and flop is Kxx (with 2 diamonds).  Waffles bets and Idiot jams all in.

Waffles goes in the tank.  The all in jam was huge, because Idiot had just a little more than Waffles.  Waffles finally calls and show A-J diamonds for the nut flush draw, as well as other outs but alas, he was out 5th.

One hand later Idiot limps and I have Ace Ten.  I KNOW he doesn't have better than ace ten so I jam preflop with like 6500 in chips (hoping to pick up the blinds and limp).  Idiot calls my all in with 8-9.  There was an 8 on the flop and I was freaking bubble!

Ugh.

Tourney was not much better, and quite frankly it's too late to relive the misery.  I didn't get much and A-J was the hand that killed me when the flop was jack high.  I jammed after the flop and got called by QQ (who smooth called preflop).

Waffles was at another table for the tournament, but he lasted alot longer than I did.  Funny enough, his last hand, the one that knocked him out of the tourney, was AA - same as his first hand! 

However, AA is no match for K-9.  Mr.K-9 flopped a K-9-X kinda board and Waffles was out.  Such a bloody shame.

It was alot of fun though. Well, the SNG was fun.  I'm still steaming from the tournament.
Play smart.

Josie

Saturday, August 21, 2010

44 Is The New 34


Well it's official.  I'm old.  Thank goodness I don't look it!  :)

I had a very nice birthday and got a few poker books!


Checkraising the Devil  is the autobiography of Mike "The Mouth" Matusow.  I cannot wait to start reading it.  It's supposed to be gritty and true account of his experiences with poker, drugs, etc. 

Cricket got me this book:  Outplaying The Boys which seems to be tips for women who are playing against men.  I dunno that there is much to learn from this book, but I'll be reading it as soon as I'm done with Mr. Matusow.  The book got me thinking, that I could probably write a book on the subject myself. :)

I'll do a write up on both when I'm done.

Here's a few pictures of me and Sugar Bear.

Yeah, I know it's blurry.


Sugar Bear gave me these earrings for my birthday.

What a great day.  Tomorrow should be a good day too.  Mama's going gambling.

Play smart.

Josie

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I know what I need to get out of this Online Poker Drought

A little live action in a Poker Room.  Watch out New Hampshire!

On a side note - I am beginning to suspect that Lightning is in fact a woman, albeit an ugly woman, but a female nevertheless.  He certainly acts like a chick.  An immature biatch to be exact.  Wanna know what he did to ME? Censored my comments on his blog.  And they weren't even mean!

I didn't realize he has feelings like a GIRL but I should've cuz he acts like one.  Hmmm maybe I should send him flowers.

Play smart.

Josie

Thunder Kills Lightning


I am soooo dedicated to you guys, I got up early to write this post!

We played 2 sngs in the live game and neither Gary or I cashed. I, unlike Gary, won a couple of side bets from Ass Chin, so the night wasn't a total loss. 

My sister, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, cashed in both games!  I think the new nickname was a positive effect on her.  When I mentioned CCBB being her new nickname, courtesy of Ken, she wasn't thrilled.  Noodles suggested we shortened it to Boom Boom, yet she still didn't like it. 

But as I said CCBB, "Do you think Noodles, like his nickname?"  "No" she said.  I went even further to support the nickname. My nick name was given to me by Gary.  Because "douche bag and cunt weren't strong enough", he combined them to christen me "Douche Bunt".

"Do you think I like being called Douche Bunt?" I ask.

"Yes, you do!" says Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.  Damn, she's right.  Not that I really like being called that, I just think it's frigging funny.

Anyway, she can complain but the bottom line is she was the big winner of the night and I think it's cause of KenP!

Onto The Mookie!

Early on I get KK and raise 3x BB.  Morning Thunder calls me and the flop was 2-5-6.  Nice!  I bet half pot and get called.  Turn is I forget but maybe a 10.   Time to take the pot, so I bet pot and he calls.  Ut oh.  River comes and he checks again (bastard) I still have an over pair but I'm thinking "game over baby" so I check to and he shows a 3-4 for a flopped straight.  Ugh.  Down like 500 chips in the first 10 min.

I make it back to like 4k and through the first blind.

Lightning's at my table and I dearly want to take his ass out, but it was not to be.  I got felted when I shoved (kinda shortstacked but just looking to pick up blinds) with K-10 sooted.

Ms. Dredful (I think he's a dude based on his "chat") calls me with Q-Q and bu-bye Very Josie.  My own fault, but that doesn't mean I won't blame Dred next time I see him.  He seemed to be a decent playa and I HOPE he will  play in the next Very Josie, which is September 1st. (MARK YOUR CALENDARS)

Speaking of The Very Josie, I did a bad thing.

I was watching that donk LIGHTNING36 play and was wanting vengenace.  When I saw he was at my table I decided I HAD to take him out of this tourney but  Misson NOT accomplished.  So I decided to do the next best thing.

I offered a bounty to all left in The Mookie.  Whoever took Lightning's ass out would win FREE ENTRY to The next Very Josie.  And then I went to bed, cuz Mama needed her zzzzzzzzzzzs.

So who is my hero?  Who did what I could not do? (YET) The one and only MORNING THUNDER.

Thunder crushed Lightning!  How freaking poetic is that?  I love it!  Thank you Thunder, you've made Mama very happy and got yourself free entry into the most exciting tourney (if I am drinking) in FT.

Now if you click on this morning thunder link you will go to his blog which is called Exploding On The Felt.  I really like reading this blog, except for one thing.  Exploding On The Felt ALWAYS gives me this visual, of erm....a man "exploding" if you catch my drift, on the felt.  Not the place for exploding if you ask me.

Lightning I will kick your ass next time. Perhaps on September 1st.

Play smart.

Josie




Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Remember Jew Boy?


That's a picture of Gary - from like 20 years ago.  Doesn't he bear a striking resemblance to Larry Fine?

Why am I taking the time to remember Jew Boy?

Because poker night is tonight.  Poker night has been on haitus for like over a month...ergo haven't seen Gary in like over a month.  Poor guy hasn't had his ass kicked by a girl in a poker game in too long.

Tonight that changes.  Plus my sista is playing.  Gary cannot handle playing with Carm.  I think she plays HIM.  Should be interesting.  Ooo I meant Cricket!

BTW Carm (her real name) really dislikes the nick name Cricket so it may be time to retire it.  It's not like it has meaning to her or anything. It's not like she's into crickets or rubs her legs together (quite the opposite, actually lol)  About 5 years ago, out of the blue, I said to her "You need a cute and fun nickname.  How about Cricket?"  And she was like "Nooooo I don't like it."  So we'd joke about it every now and then but never actually used it until I threw it into this blog.

Her real name is Carmela. (see why I think she needed a nick name?)  And she doesn't really have a shortened version of that.  Everyone just calls her Carmela.  Both she and I were named after our grandmothers.  Luck us.  At the poker table Gary started her "Marcella mia dolce"  which is Italian for "Marcella, my sweet".

But she needs a REAL nickname.  One that represents HER.  And the thing she is most about is SALSA DANCING.  She can really boogie or whatever you call it.  I dunno.  I have 2 left feet.

That reminds me, she talked me into stopping by her dance place one night after we were out.  Ugh.  Have I mentioned that I'm antisocial in person and she's like uber friendly?

So everyone knows her and she introduces me to like a million people, god help me.  But that isn't the worst part.  The worst part is guys kept asking me to dance. And I had to keep saying "No, I don't know how to dance."  To which they'd reply "Oh I'll teach  you."  Ummm nooooo I mean I have 2 left feet and CANNOT dance.  Anyway, after alot of refusals I dance with this guy, just to be polite (and cuz he kept asking).

OMG - He was the stinkiest guy I ever had the displeasure of boogying with.  He kept telling me what to do, dancewise, but every time he opened his mouth, the worst stink would come out. Like someone died in there.  So after that miserable dance (and no I couldn't get the hang of it at all) I thank him and exit stage right.  But he was there waiting for me when we left.  Ugh.

Boy am I off the beaten path.  If you have any ideas for a new nickname for Carmela, lay them on me as I wanna try them out tonight at poker.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Wow

So remember when I dissed you guys to go to the Red Sox game with my buddy Brian?  We're at the game and he's telling me he's concerned about his daughter.  She's been gaining noticeable weight and he figures she's either pregnant or it's because of drinking.  Hmmmm He said he even went so as to get his sister to ask the daughter if she was pregnant (or fat) and the answer was NO.

She's in her 20's and lives with a new boyfriend.

You know where this is going, right?

He just called and said "I have big news! She was pregnant, but isn't anymore.  My mind immediately thinks she lost the baby or had an abortion......but NO.

She just HAD THE BABY.

She said she thought she might've been preggers and took a test a couple of months ago, but negative.  And yes she's had her period the whole time.  Last one was on August 1st!

So she doesn't feel well, she's having pain so she goes to the hospital.  First thing they do is a pregnancy test and it's negative.  Something is obv there so they do an ultra sound and see a big baby.

Then her water broke while she was there so she called her dad to say I'm preggers AND having the baby now.

Anyway, he's still in shock but it's a healthy baby boy. Doctors estimated her to be at 37 weeks.  So the unasked (well he asked) question was "Did she really not know she was pregnant?"

She had no prenatal care at all - no vitamins, no wellness checkups, nothing.  I really don't think she'd do that to her baby intentionally.  It's not like she's 14 and it's not like she lives with her parents.  But how could she not know?  How could she not feel that baby, kicking and jiving?

As I said to Brian, that's not the important thing now.  The important thing is you have a new nickname, Grandpa!!!



I LOVE babies!  I may have to kidnap this one.

Josie

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Back to Square One

Moi?

I have been sucking big time at tournment play and bleeding money when Waffles, poker and jogging maniac, cut through the b.s. and asked me a question.  "Do you want to play for fun or to make money?  What is your primary goal?"

Since my answer was "make money" he suggested I play (10) $1 one table games and track my progress. (and build up my bankroll in the process)

Game 1 - 3rd place, net win .60
Game 2 - 1st place, net win $3.30
Game 3 - 2nd place, net win $1.50
Game 4 - 1st place, net win $3.30
Game 5 - 7th place, net loss -1.20
Game 6 - 8th place, net loss -1.20
Game 7 - 5th place, net loss -1.20
Game 8 - 4th place, net loss -1.20
Game 9 - 8th place, net loss -1.20
Game 10 - LOST (I forget which place) net loss -1.20

All that totals a net profit of.......wait for it.........a whopping net profit of $1.50.  I'm pleased that I ended up ahead...actually more pleased than I thought I'd be.  That being said losing those last 6 games in a row was very frustrating.  Especially considering that I cashed in the first 4 games.  No bad beats in those games, but incredible bad beats in the last few. 

The plan for these 10 games is to play ultra tight.  I must admit that I was most tight in the beginning games and a little lax in the latter games.  Hmmmm maybe that has something to do with the trend.

Below are some details of each game.

Game 1:  Ultra tight is an understatement.  I don't play a hand until the blinds are up.  First hand I play is AJ.  I raise and get one caller.  Flop is A-J-X rainbow.  I bet and get called.  Turn is a 9.  I check raise and jam all in.  He instacalls with A-9 and I double up.  

Game 2: Call a short stack all in (285 chips) with 7-7 and one other person calls too.  Check to the river. K-3-Q-4-10.  The all in shortie had 6-6 and the other person who called his all in had 2-10 - fricking rivered!  I then lose half my stack with 10-10 when the villian has A-J.  I work it back up to 3K.  Then take out J-J when he doesn't raise till after the flop (Qxx) and I have queen rag so I call. 

Game 3:  First thought going into this is maybe I should up the ante.  I mean I cashed in the first 2 games, but that isn't what I said I'd do so I still with the boring $1 games.  For some reason they don't seem all that boring today.  Maybe it's because I want to win!!!!  I lose a couple of hands then smooth call with AA. ( I normally always raise with this).  Flop is Axx.  Check raise!!!  He folds before we get to see the river and I'm the chip leader.  Stay ultra patient until I get KK and take 2 people out. (flop was queen high).  When we are heads up I raise with A-Q and villian jams with A-5 sooted.  Of course I call and of course he gets a flush on the river.  Now I'm shortstacked and jam with 77.  I get called by J-10 (used to be my fave hand)....10 on the flop and gg very josie.  2nd place.

Game 4: Focusing on playing solid and tight.  When we are down to 4 peeps I have 4,555.  I will cash in this.  I raise with AK and someone jams.  I think about what Waffles has said about Mojo calling a jam with AK and we're waiting to be in the money.....Hmmmm.....fuck it, I call.  I'm up against A-10 and my hand holds up.  ITM baby! I play 2 monster hands in the next few minutes and win 1st place.

Game 5:  First hand I play is KQ diamonds.  Ulta tight?  No, and it bites me in the ass.  Flop is 10,10,2 with 2 diamonds.  He bets and I call.  Turn is x - check, check.  River is the ace of diamonds!  Nut flush baby! He jams all in and of course I call.  He has a full house - 10s full of aces.  Out 7th.  Boo!

Game 6:  Another bad beat - big raise with A-Q and one caller.  Flop is A-Q-10.  He can't have K-J, can he?  Yes, I found out after I was busted that he did have K-J dammit. 

Game 7:  Short stacked so I jam with 3-3 and chip leader calls with J-Q.  I cannot tell you how hopeful I was when the flop missed him, and when the turn missed him my hope was compounded - only to be rivered.

Game 8:  A killer.  Big big raise with QQ as I don't want ace rag called me and sucking out.  I get one caller.  Flop is 7-3-9.  I want to end this right here while I have the best hand.  All in after the flop.  He calls and show 8-7.  Ha! BFD! Except turn is a 6 and river is a 10.  Rivers a straight.  FML!

Games 9 and 10 ended pretty much exactly like game 8.  Such killer bad beats. 

I think playing ultra tight gave me a sense of entitlement - like I shouldn't get sucked out on cuz I have the best hand dammit!  But every poker player knows that the best hand preflop and even post flop isn't always the winner.  There are two more cards to come unless you can get that villian to fold.

I enjoyed this exercise and I think it helped me to remember how to play a little more selectively than I had been.  And I KNOW I played the first 5 games much tighter than the last 5.  The results of playing tight are as plain as the nose on my face.

Play smart.

Josie

Friday, August 13, 2010

Final Thoughts on The Very Josie

Mojo plows through every Very Josie (except the first one!) like a hot knife through butter and Wednesday night was no different.  I noticed early on that he was slightly shortstacked and I have to admit, it made me smile.

But sure enough he built it up until he was the chip leader.  (In the process Mojo's AK took out Waffles' KK) He remained chip leader going into a massive heads up battle with Ratdee.

Bit by bit Ratdee whittled Mojo's stack done until he had the lead.  Ratdee relentlessly raised and Mojo folded time after time.  Ratdee changed speeds repeatedly throughout the tourney and his aggression heads up won him the battle.  Well done.

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Lightning sucks ass. (I'll get back to this latah)

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1racerx, another guy who played The Very Josie, is someone I work with.  He just finished his thesis at the Boston Architectural College to become an architect.  Anyway, yesterday morning he stopped by to do a post mortem on his play.  He's very new to the game and I think he's getting better.  He took out Dionysus so he got a bounty which he was happy about.  He said later in the game, he would have a "playable" hand but someone (like me) would raise and he'd have to fold.  He lost alot of chips that way.

My question was "What's a playable hand?"  If you can't raise with it, you probably shouldn't be playing it.  Especially because he had chips.  He was well above average.  There's no reason to play risky since he already had them.  He said he limped and folded with Q-10, Q-J, 10-8 and, wait for it.......ace rag!  Argh!!  "Even if there wasn't a raise, do you really think the people who decide to play their hand have worse than Q-10?"

"No..." says Adam.

"Then why do you want to be in a hand where you start out most likely behind?  Is it because you think you can hit a lucky flop?"

"Yes..." says Adam, sheepishly.

I said that's not going to win poker tournaments.  That's called fishing not poker, and you didn't need to that because you had chips.

I gave him a piece of my mind on the ace rag hand, and of course his response was "But what if it's suited?"  I gave him my opinion, which is "I don't fucking care.  It's still a shit hand and it being suited improves it by about 2%."  Then he wanted to know where I got the 2% stat, and for the life of me I don't know where I got it! 

Does that seem reasonable to you guys?  Having 2 cards (ace rag) suited improves the hand by 2%?

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I have the day off.  And I have a knee that I'm seriously thinking about taking a sledgehammer to.  On a scale of 1-10 the pain peaked at 427.  Holy crap!  It's been bad since that Red Sox game 2 Wednesdays ago - so over a week.  It might be slightly better today, so I don't want to make it scream.  I should be going in to get a cortizone shot in it, which will probably make the pain go away.

But I'm chicken.

My aunt just had a cortizone shot in her hip(?) and it didn't help so she went back for another one.  And this one killed for like a week.  The though of getting a shot in my knee where it's already sooooooo painful just makes me shudder. 

So because I'm kinda gimpy anyway, I'm going to use that as an excuse to play a tournament today while I"m home.

Play smart peeps.

Josie

Thursday, August 12, 2010

First Time Winner for The Very Josie

But it wasn't me. (I am literally pouting as I type this)

Even though it wasn't me it was a helluva lot of fun.  It was a smaller game than usual - 11 peeps on 2 tables.  I started off a little slow, but then gained chips slowly, only to lose them at the final table.

I got the kiss of death when Waffles predicted someone going out 6th, but he actually went out 7th.  I NICELY point this out to him and I hear "You're going out 6th then."  The fucker - and yes I went out 6th.  I shoved with 7-7 and got called by Q-Q. At least I lasted longer than Lightning36.

Waffles and Wolfie were chip leaders for the first half of the tourney.  And even though Wolfie had a ton of chips Waffles kept predicting a 5th place finish for the Wolfster.  Funny enough, Waffles came in 5th instead.  Did he get sucked out on alot?  Yes.  It was awesome.  :P

My friend and yours, Hurricane Mikey, played for the first time!!!  Unfortunately he wasn't at my table so I didn't get to play with him.  He was shortstacked early but held on for quite a while.  He played even though I think he had a home game going on later.  Thanks baby! 

Fucking Mojo. (I'll get back to this later)

So lets get to the end of this game.

I'm out 6th (thank you Wawfuls).  Waffles is out 5th.  Wolfie Baby is the bubble and out 4th.  Did he win any money?  No!  But he played better than Ive ever seen him play.  Must be all the live action he's been getting. (no not that kind you pervs)

So we are down to my boy Lucky Duck, Fucking Mojo (you know I'm crazy about you) and this new guy I dunno called Ratdee. (I'd change the Rat name, but that's me)

Pretty much down to the elderly, you know?  :)

Now I dunno how old Ratdee is, but I'm making an assumption here.

Okay I gotta go - I'll finish this in work....Are you dying to know who won?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Very Josie is TONIGHT

I'm still steaming from my last tourney, so now is the time to play The Very Josie - while you have an actual chance to outlast me.  But be warned, I'll be coming out with guns blazing.  No alcohol, no excessive chatting, and no home game.  You guys are DEAD MEAT.

Winner gets a Very Josie certificate with these girls on it

I've never won my own tournament, although I've come in the money quite a few times.  I don't remember the specifics, but I do remember blaming Memphis MOJO for this phenomenon.  He seems so nice when he isn't playing poker.

To find the tourney just find me:  veryjosie

Be ready for some ninja like poker.  Lightning Bug doesn't stand a chance.

Play smart.

Josie

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

IMPORTANT

Tomorrow is The Very Josie Tournament on Full Tilt.  9:00pm ET.  Please Play!!!!  Yes, it's the second Wednesday of the month.  This month is messed up, but schedule will not be messed up again.

Password is pokerbaby.

As an added bonus, the winner of The Very Josie will receive a "Very Josie Certificate".  It's too cool for words.  All you gotta do is win!  TOMORROW NIGHT.

I played a kinda big tourney last night. 1400 peeps, with 216 in the money.  I played solid for like 3 hours.  Kinda shortstacked as I was heading for the money.  I got dealt QQ.  Guy before me min raises - that along with the blinds and antes made the pot big enough for me.  I jam all in with 5k on top of the raise.

He called with K-J off suit.  (can you believe that?) 

Flop is nice and low...as is turn....river is a KING.  Boo!!!  Out 260th! (218 in the money).

Now that I've been thinking about this hand for a few hours, I've come to the following conclusion.  Had I just called him we would've seen the low flop.  I'd def go all in after the flop, and MAYBE he would've folded with his two overs.  I'd like to think he would.

It's funny how one bet effects the whole game.

Play smart - with me tomorrow night.  I just may overplay queens again!

Josie

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Why did the Mexican put his wife on the train tracks?

T-E-Q-U-I-L-A!

Me, last night!

I played in the home tournament at Lynne's house last night.  There was a good showing, 18 players with 3 in the money.  Unfortunately, I got there a little too early so I proceeded to drink wine in her backyard while we waited for the horseshoe tournament to be over.

And yes, I pretty much had to hug EVERYONE.  I thought I'd get away with hugging the hostesses (Lynne and her wife June) but one by one, they came by with open arms.

So my plan heading into this tournament was to play tighter and more conservative than normal.  These guys know how I play.  20% are good players and 80% pure donks.  I wanted to mix it up for the 20%. 

I started out following the plan.  What didn't figure into the plan were the tequila shots.  All the brothers and sisters were doing them so I figured what the hell.  I'm just not used to doing shots.  Oh and they were done without a lime chaser!  "Limes are for pussies" I was told.

So I didn't play many hands.  I did raise with 5-5 and the flop was 5-J-X.  We started with 10K in chips.  Brian bets 500.  In my drunken state I attempt to raise 1k on top for a total of 1,500 but instead I through in my 5k chip.  Duh!  Brian promptly folded.  Had a fish on the line and I let it get away.

No more mixing shots and poker.

My demise was having an overpair I shoved with.  I shoved against this idiot called Pinto who happened to have a full house at the time.  Buh-bye.

All the boys were begging me to hang out and wait for them at the cash game.  Ugh, I just wasn't feeling it but I didn't wanna disappoint.  Troy promised me a ride home.  Hmmmm drunk black man will drive me home....I dunno.

Lynne has an awesome backyard with horseshoe pits and a fire pit.  So she and I hung around the fire and drank, toasted marshmallows and talked.  Really talked - like you can only do when you've had a few too many.  She was lecturing me on life being too short.  Carpe diem! 

I hated leaving her by herself at the fire, but the brothers were calling!  I didn't wanna disappoint but like I said I wasn't feeling it.  I sat there a while, maybe played one hand and left for the backyard again.  Left down $7.  BFD 

I'm going to try my hand at those full tilt steps again and see where I get.  Oh, and I won't be drinking tequila when I do it!


Did I mention that it was Sugar Bear's birthday?  He turned 12 years old on Friday.  If you're one of my facebook friends you already know this.

We went to Water Country with a couple of his friends.



Me, at the beginning of the day

 

Birthday Boy





Here's the birthday cake - This is my attempt at the Monster Energy drink logo.

(he didn't like the flowers on the sides)

Play smart.

Josie

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Baseball Over Poker

So baseball won out over poker and I went to the Red Sox game.  Jon Lester was pitching.  First and second innings were great - hitless, and then the wheels fell off.  Franconia took him out when we were down 4-1 with 2 men on base.  Not good.

Proof that I really went to the sox game.  Hey Wakefield's on my ticket.  Hubba Hubba

Anyway, the sox ended up losing 9-1.  Boo!  Plus it was 90 degrees at the start of the game with humidity that was just terrible.  I was sooooo sweaty.  Ugh.


Brian and Me (I am sweatier than I appear)

Then on the way home......I've been soooo good on the diet front (except for some cocktails the other night)...we stopped at THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY for some takeout cheesecake.  Just finishing it up right now.  Sooooo Good.

A few more pics from the game:


Pesky's Pole and retired sox numbers in the background.



Okay I just rooted for Lightbulb a little bit - he's still in The Mookie.  I feel like it's time to start winning again.

Play smart.

Josie

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Very Josie is POSTPONED

I'm so sorry to do this, but I'm putting off The Very Josie till next Wednesday;  The SECOND Wednesday of the month.

Why, you ask?

Is it because I'm afraid of Lightning's latest post?  NO!

Late yesterday afternoon my friend Brian called.  He owns a portion of Red Sox season tickets and every year he'll give me a list of his games and I pick a game to go to.  THE RED SOX GAME IS TONIGHT and I didn't realize it.

I knew I was going to a Sox game in August, but didn't remember the date.  So he calls and he's like "You're all set for the game tomorrow night?"

Fuck, I thought he meant The Very Josie.  But he meant The Red Sox.  I told him months ago that I was going and I can't back out.  So we'll do The Very Josie NEXT Wednesday.

Guys, I 'm really sorry to mess up the schedule and it won't happen again.

Wanna know the worst part?  I had a special guest from Las Vegas who was going to play The Very Josie tonight.  A newbie to Full Tilt.  He just set up his Full Tilt account the other day.

HURRICANE Frigging MIKEY was going to play tonight.  OH. MY. GOD.  And here I go messing up the schedule.

Mikey baby, PLEASE try to play next week.  You can watch me abuse this old guy named Lightbulb.  Guaranteed to be fun.

To make it up to you guys, I'll try to take pictures at the game tonight.

Josie

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Very Josie Tournament


Tomorrow night is The Very Josie and YOU BETTER PLAY!!!  9pm Eastern Time.  It's been a whole month since we've done this.  Clear your calendars and play.  Or else.

But be warned. 

I will be rooting for one man and one man only.  And that man is.....


Doesn't he look like Lightning?

This is who is going to win!

It seems Mr. Lightning has put a curse on me. I figure if I show Lightning a little love and root for him (as he requested) the dry patch will soon be over.

Here's Lightning cooking chicken with Martha Stewart!

'Win both The Very Josie and The Mookie?  Yeah, he can do that....He's Lightning fucking 36."

Play tomorrow night.  You'll hear me rooting for Lightning (obv) and see me kicking his ass (obv) all at the same time.  Should be interesting.

BTW I had a great weekend away.  Alot of fun shopping @ outlets stores and kayaking.  My kinda combo.  Kayaking was the most fun..

4 hour trip on the Sacco River, which was full of people doing the same.  Sugar Bear is an experienced kayaker and was in his own kayak when all of a sudden he flipped.  I looked over and he was gone and the kayak was upside down.  He was not happy about this.  He finally got back inside but was soaking wet and cold.

Out of no where, this older woman in a cowboy hat comes by with a super soaker water gun and squirts Sugar Bear in the face.  She was just playing (something I'd do) but he was....no other words to describe it....pissed off!  I think because he was already cold.

She paddles down the river and he's seething.  He decides he's going to find her and give her a piece of his mind.  Now this kid is so shy, when an adult asks him a question he can barely answer above a whisper.

So he paddles off down the river with vengenance in his heart and I kinda follow just in case.  15 minutes later he finds her and sidles up to her kayak.  "Hey I'm the kid you squirted in the face.  Remember me?"

She says "No I don't remember you, but I believe you because I've been squirting all the kids younger than me."

He says "Well yeah you're older than me.  ALOT older.  Don't do it again".

And with that he leaves.  About a half hour later this guy says "Hey kid wanna get her back?  You can use my water gun."  

Yes he DOES want to get her back, so he hunts her down again.  Baaaaad idea.  He squirts her and she says "Kid you don't want this fight."  He says that he does.  So she absolutely soaks him.  LOL  I was dying laughing.  Sugar Bear was not happy...um....until she flipped over herself.  We got to watch that and it was hilarious.

But it wasn't as hilarious as my sister flipping into the drink.  She did this TWICE. And screamed both times.  It was her first time.  She does this about 50 feet from the drop off area.  All you could hear on the river was me laughing.  After the first time I tell her to go to the sandy area, but instead she does to the mucky edge and is stuck up to her knees in mud. (and screams again)

Play Smart - TOMORROW NIGHT.  Dontcha wanna witness me kissing Lightning's ass?  That curse is coming off!

Josie